It’s The Renaissance Baby

Alice is Asian and you can fight me

[bellastinycactus]

What kind of hell existence is it where you can’t cry??? Smeyer what the fuck?

[leahclearwaterdefensesquad]

Also - imagine not being able to sleep!!! Ever!!!

[bellastinycactus]

I just got a mental image of edward on all fours trying to cry but just dry heaving like a cat

[your-mind-is-a-stream-of-colors]

Rosalie during lunch: what the hell? Guys look, Some idiot is just slamming down dozens of eggs. That’s so weird.

Rosalie:

Rosalie:

Rosalie: OH THATS MY IDIOT.

Rosalie: EMMETT! FUCKING DON’T-STOP!

[twilightbutokayer]

A very SPICY commission for @pandabearer !! It’s based off a very specific post about Emmett becoming a stripper after being left behind by his family lmaooo. Hope ummm it’s not too spicy for y’all 😳 I tried to keep it at least a little reasonable, It was very fun to work on though!

[makingfunoftwilight]

Rosalie thinking: I am going to get my revenge on all of those men who left me in the street to die. I’ll leave my husband last so he’ll know I’m coming to rip him apart. He’ll be so afraid and screaming in agony as he watches me rip his insides, this is going to be so great. Edward reading Rosalie’s mind:

[ziraseal]

Rosalie thinking: and I’ll do it in my wedding dress just for the drama of it all 

Edward: 

[bellasgreensweater]

Edward the entirety of midnight sun:

[bubbly-snail]

So the snail fell in love with the frog

So we all agree snails are Edwards thing but like what if Bella just responds with frogs and toads and it becomes like a thing and Edward has this picture as his lockscreen

[bubbly-snail]

[bubbly-snail]

[bubbly-snail]

[queer-twihard]

It’s been an honor memeing with you

[jalicewhitcock]

Edward really was using Nahuel to out his own feelings and I didn't even get it the first time I read this 😔

[jalicewhitcock]

Mushroom Ravioli hc

Bella wins a bet against Emmett.

She shoved down 27 plates of mushroom ravioli in 30 seconds.

It was the first time she ate human food after turning into a vampire.

She has trouble heaving it up.

Emmett does a Heimlich maneuver on her.

No ravioli gets out.

Edward starts to freak out.

Esme and Carlisle will be home soon.

After multiple tries, Bella sighs and says "just take my head off and take it out yourself".

Edward has a mental breakdown in the middle of the kitchen as Emmett sticks a vacuum cleaner down her esophagus to remove every ravioli while Jasper holds Bella's head.

[howly]

i didn’t see any memes about my favourite part of midnight sun so i took matters into my own hands

[rosaliehaley]

I‘M NOT CRYING!! YOU ARE!!! 😭😭🥰

[admiraldora]

smeyer why

[rosalielesbianhale]

i doubt the twilight script writers realised what they had done when they wrote the line “no, our bus is full” but to this day it is one of the funniest things ever said in film. that dramatic little bitch. if i had written that line, i would have taken the rest of the day off after penning that, and it would have been well deserved.

[depressionchair]

OK SO

Harry Potter exists within the twilight universe right?

So the movies must exist. And Bella being the book work she is, definitely read all the book and watched all the movies. She notices something while watching Goblet of Fire- edward looks eerily like Cedric.

Bella confronts him. Edward admits that the real reason he broke up with her in New Moon was so he could go film GoF and he didn’t want to take Bella, he was too scared she would leave him for Tom Felton

[hauntedsheephole]

some random woman’s thoughts: oh hey, he’s kind of hot.

Edward Cullen: Dear Diary. Today another WHORE vies for my affection. Existence is agony.