anterograde

The road to hell is paved with adverbs. —Stephen King

[anterocash]

read. abt. twt. wanted. memes. drabbles. news. 

[vsingers]

new favorite tweet

[sadmates]

I am not meant for casual love. I was born for soul consuming love and obsession.

[sourdough-seal]

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

[orbitalmirror]

"how did you get into writing" girl i've been tormented by the visions since i was eight years old

[tokkiash]

When she’s alone outside is when Ashley finally lets the tears fall, knowing that her makeup probably will get all messed up but she can’t hold it back anymore. There’s just so much going through her head, and she’s so overwhelmed, she knows that it would be impossible to hold her tears back. And it doesn’t help that she left the building without her coat, starting to shiver in the cool air.

Ashley can hear footsteps approaching and already she can tell that it’s Cash, already attuned to the sound of how he walks. Which just makes it hurt more, she’s already entwined her life with the older man, fallen so in love. Having it all fall apart scares her, makes her heart clench.

Once the jacket is over her bare shoulders she hugs it closer, letting out a sniffle and savoring the comforting and familiar scent of Cash on the fabric, along with his body heat. Ashley blinks away her tears, trying to give herself a chance to gather herself before she looks up, meeting the older man’s gaze. It feels weird to her, wanting his comfort while she’s hurting so much, but also wanting to push him away because he’s partly the reason she even feels this bad.

His words snap her out of her thoughts and she can’t help the small frown that tugs on her lips. “I want you to tell me everything, Cash.”

[anterocash]

Cash starts to roll his sleeves up his forearms and pops the top button of his shirt open. He isn’t sure what she means, but he nods. God knows he wasn’t prepared for this, he had every worst case scenario in mind for tonight, all of them but the one that actually happened. 

“My dad always wanted to be a pilot, he was already in the Air Force when the Vietnam War started. I was created when my dad got a Liberty pass and came back to visit my mother. My dad never got to fly because he kept knocking heads with his superior, so he switched jobs and spent the rest of the war fixing B-25 bomber jets then Nixon started shipping us back home. He got back in time for my fourth birthday.” Cash expected to talk a lot, but this is the most he’s talked in an entire night. 

“So where was I? Yes. My dad started working downtown at the joint base, doing the same thing: wrenching on aircraft. We lived on West Piccadilly Street, David’s parents live five houses down from my parents as you probably already knew… holy shit.” Who knows how many times they were on the same street at the same time, she would have been a child and he doesn’t want to think about that.

“We lived on West Pic, and your mother’s house was around the corner on Robin Street, that’s right. Our families went to church together, Dave and I would ride our bikes around the block to hang out with Esther since we could ride without training wheels. I’d steal the lemons from your grandmother’s lemon tree…” Things keep clicking into place and Cash absolutely hates it. 

“The three of us were inseparable for a while. You can probably fill the blanks: we got older, puberty and all that. We both had crushes on Esther, I just asked her out sooner than he did. We were fourteen, things between the three of us felt the same, life went on, I just spent more time with Esther without Dave around. Then my dad gets orders to work in Guam to teach — I was sixteen — I hated my dad for months. Esther and I broke up; life went on. I didn’t see your parents for a while, and then after that, I would run into them occasionally but nothing crazy – I haven’t seen your brother since he was a toddler.” He can’t think of anything else. 

[tokkiash]

She almost feels dizzy, looking between her father and Cash, the words seeming to slowly penetrate through to her understanding. Dated her mother? It’s unbelievable, almost like a punch to the gut with how it makes her feel.

Ashley presses her hand briefly to her forehead, trying to absorb what’s being said to its fullest extent. She can’t help the thoughts that go through her head, wondering if Cash only got with her because she reminded him of her mother. That thought hurts too much to pursue and she squashes it down, moving her hand away from her face, not wanting to mess up her makeup.

As much as she wants to get Cash alone and figure everything out, she can’t. She’s been so looking forward to supporting him at this event, and of course all it takes is one encounter with her father to ruin everything.

“I… I don’t know what to say. Can you excuse me?” She can hear the way her voice is shaking, her eyes stinging with unshed and hurt tears, backing away from Cash and her parents. Her mother looks like she wants to follow but Ashley shakes her head, she’s the last person that Ashley wants to be with right now. She’s in a daze as she turns away from the group, barely noticing anyone as she makes her way out of the ballroom, craving fresh air and a moment to herself, especially now that she doesn’t think she can hold her tears back any longer.

[anterocash]

Cash watches Ashley walk away from the trio before putting his attention back to David. “Did you really think this was an appropriate moment to have this conversation? I genuinely didn’t know she was your daughter, I swear.” David has always had this bad habit of trying to best Cash in subtle ways, naturally competitive but now wasn’t the time nor the place. 

“Don’t put this on me, I should kill you in front of everyone in here —“ 

“David, please…” Esther finally says quietly, her husband whips head around to look down at her and Cash squints, what type of relationship is this? And what will Cash have to put up with from Ashley because of it? 

Cash doesn’t stick around to ask, not that he was going to, he needs to find Ashley and fix things before the window of opportunity closes. Without excusing himself Cash walks away, fending off people who want to talk as he leaves the ballroom, none of that matters now. He loosen his tie as he steps outside, looking around frantically. 

Yesterday was the best Christmas Cash had in decades; this year with Ashley has been life changing and the idea of losing that scares the shit out of Cash. He walks around the perimeter of the building until he finds her, “hey…” his determination has dissolved into nervousness as he takes his tuxedo jacket off, draping it over her bare shoulders. “Can we talk about this? Without your…” he can’t even say it, “without the distractions.” 

[tokkiash]

Confusion is the first and pretty much only feeling clouding her mind right now, the shock on her parents’ faces and the nervous grin Cash sports, she has no idea what’s going on. Though things slowly start to make a little more sense when she realizes just how angry that her father is getting, she hasn’t seen him get that red in a long time, not since she announced she wasn’t going to a traditional college.

“Cash is right, we are in love. We’ve been together for a while,” she feels defensive now, especially after her father is questioning if they’re joking or not. Ashley doesn’t want to feel like she has to defend her relationship with Cash, but there’s definitely a sinking feeling settling in her stomach and she can practically feel how things are going to explode.

“What’s going on?” She can’t help but question, looking between her parents and Cash. Her mother looks like she’s seen a ghost, her face ashen and she doesn’t meet Ashley’s gaze, too busy staring at Cash. It’s starting to upset her, how confused she is, and all she can do is stare between the trio, hoping someone will tell her something.

[anterocash]

“Tell her,” David snaps at Cash and he nods, swallowing nervously looking over at Ashley; the first time they’re going to a dressy event like this and it’s ruined with the theatrics her father has orchestrated, this isn’t a conversation to have in front of everyone in the room but David isn’t give Cash a inch to budge with.

He wants to stomp his feet and cry like a two year old but he doesn’t, Cash merely sighs, feeling silly before he speaks, “I grew up with your parents.” Cash thinks he nailed it, he isn’t interested in giving Ashley the full story in the middle of the Sheraton Hotel ballroom. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, I didn’t realize you were David’s –”

“He dated your mother when we were younger,” David says as if it’s acid in his mouth, Cash’s brow furrows.

“It doesn’t count if we were teenagers, Esther…” Cash says looking to the silent woman to collaborate with him, “Stay out of it,” David says to his wife and she tightens her lips. In an attempt to get to know Ashley better, Cash once asked her about her childhood; she painted a vivid picture but to see it playing out in person is something else. Cash never stopped to wonder about Esther and David’s relationship dynamic – because it’s none of his business but, he does remember the sixteen year old boy and Cash can’t see that version of David talking to Esther like that. 

“Tell her the truth, Cash.” 

“The three of us grew up together.  Your mother and I dated for a little bit before I moved. We were fourteen it really doesn't matter.”

“Two years –” David interjects again and Cash bristles, growing irritated. “David, stop,” he warns, taking a step forward but then he steps back again, he’s not going to cause a scene at the biggest event in his career.

[anterocash]

[tokkiash]

Ashley was giddy all night, being able to get all dolled up and be Cash’s arm candy at the gala. She spends part of the evening being exactly that, sticking close to him and politely joining in on conversations when required, which isn’t often. She’s okay with that though, just sipping her drink and looking pretty. It’s not until she spotted her parents in the crowd that she was able to tear herself away from Cash, going over to chat with them. She’s still with them when Cash joins her again, though luckily her parents' backs are turned to talk to one of the many people that her father knows. His words make her blush, and she can’t help but to giggle, leaning against his larger frame when he gets his hand on her hip.

She still gets butterflies when Cash says something romantic like that, and she loves it. She loves him. “You’re making me blush and feel so shy. But I’m happy, so happy. Thank you. I had to make sure to look extra pretty, so you’d be proud and eager to show me off as your partner.” Ashley is in heels but she still needs to try and get more height so she can kiss the older man’s cheek, though she keeps it light, and carefully wipes away the small bit of lip gloss that she left behind.

It’s just as she’s finishing with that that she hears her dad say his goodbyes, and she straightens up, knowing that her parents are about to turn back to give her their attention again. “Mom, Dad! I want you to meet someone special.”

[anterocash]

Ever since Ashley told Cash her parents were going to be at the gala, meeting them was a constant thought on the back of his mind. He was more nervous about that than planning the whole event. The room seems to move in slow motion after Ashley speaks, Cash glancing down at his flute of champagne for a second when he looks back up, his face scrunches in confusion, the beginning of a nervous grin taking over his mouth.. “No way….” He looks at David and Esther, both equally as shocked as Cash, poor David looks as red as his bow-tie, the situation becoming clearer with each second Cash chuckles in disbelief, shaking his head before finishing his champagne in one swallow. 

He’s not upset, he feels a sense of relief that he’s not imagining things. The vague Deja-vu Cash felt when he first laid eyes on Ashley has lingered in the deep depths of his mind, something he truly didn’t want to decipher, he was in too deep with Ashley and didn’t want to end things. But now seeing the three of them in the same room, the resemblance is unmistakable and Cash can’t understand why he didn’t put it together sooner. 

“Is this some sort of joke?” David stammers out, fury growing by the second.

“No, David, ” He says, glancing at Ashley, hoping she will back him up, “we’re in love.”

[anterocash]

full circle pt3

Cash watches Ashley’s retreating form after finally getting her to leave his office. Resting his forehead against the cool metal of the doorframe he sighs, eyes slipping closed for a moment. 

“I thought you told her to stop coming to staff only areas —“ 

“Jesus Christ, Susan!” Cash yelps, clutching his chest after being startled. 

“As you know, only museum personnel are allowed back here. We’re all adults here, we know what’s going on. Paul thinks you’re sleeping with an intern —”

Cash finally puts his hand up to stop Susan, “I said something to her already. And I told Paul she wasn’t an intern.” 

Susan stares at Cash and he hates not knowing what she’s thinking. 

The Riverfield Museum of Modern Art was hanging by a thread until the government stepped in and gave them a grant, and suggested they outsource new help. The newly appointed directors board of people with decades of experience from other museums all over the country, who also, outsourced more help. 

The job pays scraps but everyone loves what they do so they don’t complain. Susan is one of those transplants and with her lack of small town mentality, she and Cash established a rapport easily. 

She’s age appropriate and objectively attractive, a few late nights at the museum had Cash wondering if there was something there between them and he could tell she was on the same page. They have the same passion for research and art; both have hardass military fathers, PhD’s in art history, it seemed inevitable. 

Susan is a widow, her husband ending his life after suffering from the chemicals he was exposed to during the Gulf War for decades, she seemed healed for the most part, understanding why her husband did it. She wasn’t the first widow Cash had flirted with and when he met her, he thought she wouldn’t be the last. He was wrong. 

Cash can’t tell if she judges him from a place of professionalism or jealousy or even worse: both.

“You have no reason to date a twenty five –” 

“She’s twenty-nine and we like each other, it’s not serious. I’ve been waiting for her to figure that out on her own. Until then we’re having fun. It’s casual.”  Cash doesn’t know why he’s so defensive when they’re friends with benefits, Ashley is still adjusting to having a real man give her the sex her body needed so she’s acting out. He tried to push her away, but she was relentless, Cash couldn’t resist – he didn’t want to, even when he told her to stop coming around, he was waiting for her to come back. Cash has found himself addicted to her insatiable appetite.

“Is this a sugar baby thing? Are you using this young woman to gain back some of your youth?” Susan asks, genuinely confused about the turn of events between the pair, wanting to keep things professional, she had suggested they stop getting dinner together after work and a month later a woman young enough to be their daughter starts showing up, throwing herself all over Cash. Susan’s pride has taken a hit but they’re both at the age where these games don’t need to be played. 

Cash’s face scrunches up in disbelief, the embarrassment making him cringe, “really, Susan? You and I both know this job doesn’t pay enough for me to be anyone’s sugar daddy. No. I’m not using her, our ages are the furthest thing on my mind when we’re together.” 

Because they never go anywhere, Cash knows the optics look crazy.

His friends have started talking to younger women but dating hasn’t been on the forefront of Cash’s mind, all the women his age in town are either married to a man he knows or is a lesbian or in Susan’s case too uptight to go out. 

He was too tired – mentally and physically from rebuilding the museum from the ground up to think about any sort of romantic connections. At times, he did miss intimacy, not the actual sex, but being close to someone but it wasn’t a priority, work was. 

“Whether you think about it or not, it’s always going to be the elephant in the room, she’s old enough to be –” 

“Susan, what I do in my personal life is none of your business,” Cash interjects before she finishes her sentence, “and that was your decision,” he looks down at her pointedly, brow raised daring her to say otherwise when they both know the truth. 

From a professional point of view Cash gets it, you don’t shit where you eat, dating a coworker is a giant fuck no. Yet, Cash’s ego was bruised that he wasn’t worth breaking professional boundaries over, he didn’t even have real romantic feelings for her yet, they would get dinner together after working late, talk about art with a bottle of wine and he’d foot the bill. After the third time, Cash got presumptuous, figuring this would be a regular thing. Obviously he was wrong and Susan told him they weren’t getting dinner anymore one on one anymore and Cash accepted it.

“Nothing good can come you two being together. Just don’t do anything stupid, okay?” Susan says with defeat and Cash sighs, nodding. 

“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do, Susan. Now, lunch is over, let’s get back to work.”

[tokkiash]

Getting through TSA was surprisingly not difficult despite having Zoe, and even if it’s hard she doesn’t call Cash right away. Instead she lets Zoe out of her carrier, walking her to their gate and letting her burn off a little energy and use the “dog relief zone” while they wait to board. When they start getting on is when she puts Zoe back into her carrier, settling into her seat easily and then finally getting her phone out, determined to call her fiance.

It only takes a few rings before Ashley is hearing his voice, her heart clenching a little because already she’s missing him. “Hi, Cash. It’s me. I’m on the plane now, everyone is still boarding so I have some time. I wanted to call you before taking off.” She tries not to let her worry show in her voice, though she’s not sure she succeeds. It’s going to be their first time apart since they originally got divorced, which in her mind doesn’t count. 

[anterocash]

Being stabbed is a feeling Cash won’t ever forget, a lot of what happened afterwards has left his mind but the cold of the blade piercing skin, the unimaginable pain when it slides out, cutting him up even more, he’s over it, but it’s something that will be fresh in his mind forever, “okay, baby doll,” he mumbles as he thumbs over the thinning scar on his belly as he listens to his fiancée.

“It’s a what… – a four hour flight? That’s a movie and half a season of a TV show and you can color on your iPad to stay busy as well. Time will go by quickly.” Feeling a bit more awake he sits up, putting the phone down on the bed to stretch his arms out and yawn, the sharp pop of his joints filling the room. “I’m hungry so I’m letting you know now that I put some snacks in your carry-on.” Cash misses Ashley already but there isn’t much he can do about the situation.

[anterocash]

@tokkiash

Everything is going to plan, there was a hiccup or two with catering but it was resolved before the event began and once all the wealthiest in Riverfield and the surrounding areas was packed in the hotel ballroom, Cash could breathe a sigh of relief and do what he does best: networking. Cash works the room, greeting new faces and charming them and hopefully their wallets, not sure if his empathetic speech about why he picked the charity was enough so he’s making it a point to try and speak to everyone who showed up for at least five minutes. His jaw is starting to hurt but he shoulders on with the help of the endless champagne, needing a break he seeks out his plus one. Just thinking about Ashley makes Cash smile, he can’t believe she got perfectly manicured nails in his heart, but he’s never been happier and he can’t wait to tell her that. Cash can recognize the back of her small blonde head and walks over to her. “I said this earlier but I have to say it again, you are truly the most beautiful woman in the room tonight,” he says into her ear, resting his free hand on her hip.

[anterocash]

full circle pt2

2002:

It was a lovely ceremony. Cash's date cried silently the whole time and he kept giving her tissues from a mini pack he keeps in his suit jacket. He wears the same jacket to weddings and funerals, so, it made sense to just have some in the inner breast pocket at all times. It’s a child-free wedding with an open bar, Cash takes advantage until his bladder reminds him it’s only so big and he excuses himself. 

Cash stares at the words written above the urinal, Jessica is a lovely woman: tall, beautiful, classy personality and her parents come from money — lots of money, that’s how they met. Jessica’s father likes rare art, Cash helped him a few times and next thing he knows he’s spending autumns with the family in Florence with a job at one of the most prestigious art museums. John took a liking to Cash, so naturally, his only child and future heiress to his fortune also took an interest in him as well. This was three years ago. 

More and more lately the topic of marriage has been coming up in conversations, especially at her parents house, it makes sense, Jessica is forty five and the oldest woman he’s ever been with. She has a cool twelve years on Cash. They’ve been having a lot of fun, why do they need to get married? All the married couples Cash knows are secretly miserable, they salivate at the chance to tell him so. That isn’t stopping Jessica and her family from dropping hints, at thirty three Cash should be ready for marriage but he’s far from it, and the reality hangs over their relationship and — the lifestyle that this relationship has given him. Which leaves Cash with a lot to ponder. 

He’s zipping up his fly when David walks in and Cash waits by the sink after washing his hands for David to do the same before he starts talking, thankfully they’ve managed to become cordial, lots of childhood friends grow up and apart, whether a girl got between them or not, all that matters is that they can have a conversation without any of the awkwardness. “How did you know you were ready to marry Esther?”

David glances over at Cash as he washes his hands, grabbing a paper towel. “We prayed about, and God told us it was time to create that covenant with him –” 

“Spare me the church talk, it’s just us in here” Cash interjects before David goes further into sermon mode, waving his hand to stop him. 

“Okay okay, we were horny, we were in love, I always knew we would get married, we didn’t want to wait any longer.” 

Cash appreciates the honesty and chuckles, “well, I’m not a virgin so I need another excuse to marry this woman.” 

“Do you love her?”

“Yeah, but –”

“But you don’t want to marry her?” David finishes for his old friend, giving him a knowing look. 

Cash doesn’t answer immediately, tossing the paper towel in the trash, studying his reflection in the mirror. He doesn’t know what’s stopping him. Jessica is the perfect woman for Cash but nothing in his heart or mind tells him to take that next step, to buy her a ring and make things permanent, they’re having fun, “I don’t want a ring to change things.” I don’t wanna lose my freedom.

David doesn’t have all day to play therapist in the restroom and another man comes in, the room isn’t that big so he looks at Cash, smoothing over the lapels of his jacket he looks at his friend, “talk to her and figure out what’s next for your relationship. Talking to me won’t fix anything. Whether you marry her or not she deserves your honesty.” 

Cash rolls his eyes but acquiesces at the same time, his head a curt nod and David pats his chest. He was always the voice of reason when Cash was younger, keeping him out of trouble as much as he could until he moved away and life went on without him and everyone changed. But Cash has changed too. 

–

Cash and Jessica walk along the shoreline at the beach in Charleston. Every year since 1995 Cash and the rest of his frat visit their brother Mark’s grave and hang out with his family. It’s typically only the guys, Jessica insisted she tag along, wanting to visit the small town of Sullivan’s island for herself, being an east coast woman most of her life, Cash is far from a country bumpkin but South Carolina and Texas are way different than New York her curiosity wouldn’t escape her and despite his numerous warnings that it was a guy’s trip Jessica showed up anyways. The initial hostility towards her presence was dismissed when she told the group of annoyed frat boys that she brought pot with her and they welcomed the older woman with open arms much to Cash’s chagrin. That was three days ago. 

“It’s so… picturesque here, darling,” Jessica sighs happily, swinging their arms, “a beach wedding would be perfect,” she squeezes his hand as she slips into a reverie that Cash quickly pulls the older woman out of. 

“We’re not getting married,” Cash finally admits bluntly after stopping them, there is a shell piercing into the bottom of his foot and he accepts the pain of his skin being stabbed open as his punishment for the look on Jessica’s face. The slap she gives a second later he decides he deserved as well. It’s just… all week she’d been talking about weddings. Jessica wanted to come on the trip to get to know his friends, winning them over and cracking marriage jokes with them. When Cash tried to be gentle about it, not wanting to talk about wedding stuff during the trip, he was shot down; Jessica isn’t used to not getting her way.

Leaving Cash frustrated while handling his grief — out of everyone in their pledge class, Cash and Mark were the closest, they lived together. It was his idea to tell Mark’s parents to spread his ashes in Sullivan’s Island and Jessica keeps making it about a wedding that’s never going to happen. 

“I don’t wanna get married, Jessica. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you soon. These past few years have been so much fun! And I don’t see the need to complicate that with the fanfare of a ceremony and a piece of —“ 

Jessica slaps him again and  stomps back up to the beach house they’ve rented for the week to pack her bags without a word to the others, taking the first flight home. 

When Cash returns to their shared Manhattan penthouse he’s greeted by all his possessions boxed up in the lobby. 

2013:

Cash hates attending funerals, and prefers to avoid them as much as possible but sometimes he has no choice and his attendance is non-negotiable. He hates when he’s reminded of his mortality, Cash has been on borrowed time since his first breath. He turns forty-five next year but his now dead friend won’t and that freaks Cash the hell out.

One of the last stragglers left in the cemetery minus the family, Cash sighs as he stares down at the tombstone. Cheryl and Cash lived on the same block for a little bit when he was growing up until they moved to a different street but the town is so small he still saw her nearly every day at school until he moved away and every time Cash came back to visit or spend months at a time, he and Cheryl would bump into each other and it was always nice to catch up and they always made sure to wish each other happy birthday.

He knew about the cancer, everyone did, no one knew it was terminal minus Cheryl and her husband; which was on purpose apparently.

The Jungs own a bakery that’s been family owned and operated since 1964, Cheryl started working there when she was five and eventually after her parents died Cheryl and her brother Randall took full control, their respective families helping out. Ppang was the go-to bakery, if you were to attend any sort of event in town? Ppang probably provided the cake, or the cupcakes, whatever baked goods you needed. Cash was rather fond of the banana bread, his heart belongs to the cinnamon rolls but the banana bread the healthier option. Randall isn’t much of a baker, he kept an eye on the books – something he passed down to his son after his stroke left him unable to work while Cheryl woke up at the crack of dawn every morning for decades to bake the offerings for the day with her two daughters once they were old enough to willingly wake up that early (on the weekends, school was more important to Cheryl.)

At the beginning of 2011 Cheryl made a post on the Ppang Facebook page saying she was taking a step back from working to prioritize her health – she was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer – but was determined to beat it. The whole community rallied around Cheryl, her family and the town’s beloved bakery and 2012 she was in remission.

Everything seemed fine – she started baking again, the girls were preparing for college in the next year or so – until it wasn’t. The blood work didn’t look promising, Cheryl was constantly exhausted and the oncologist two hours away said it was best for Cheryl to try to stay as comfortable as possible. Not wanting to scare her children, her friends and family, they didn’t say anything. Wanting to keep the happier atmosphere that had finally re-entered their home after a year of aggressive treatment.

Cheryl fainted outside of church after service Wednesday evening two weeks ago and now Cash is standing in the same spot. He hates how he didn’t try more, Cash comes back occasionally, he was in Spain when he got the email about the funeral and took the first red eye flight back to the states. They were friends but not the friends that talked consistently; those friendships don’t exist once you’re out of school, they would speak on holidays and he donated to the fundraiser the town started to help out with taking care of the kids medical expenses but other than that? Cash wasn’t thinking about Cheryl or anyone in this closet sized city, something that he doesn’t typically think about but now the guilt is a pressure that makes his brow throb.

He’s rubbing his forehead, maybe it’s a hunger headache, there is food being offered but Cash isn’t going to stick around for the repass, he’s going to fly to New York tomorrow, since there are more flight options back to Spain from there when David walks over. “Cash, I’m glad you made it,” he says in lieu of a greeting, clapping a hand on his broad shoulder while shaking with the other.

Cash grimaces, “I wouldn’t miss this… I…” his solemn tone trails off and David squeezes Cash before they separate to look at each other. “How are you? How’s the family?” Anything to get the topic off of Cash, off of death. David’s face brightens and Cash feels himself begin to disassociate, he can hear the words coming out of David’s mouth but Cash’s brain is only half processing what David is saying. Multiple people acknowledge David in passing as he talks, which does pull Cash back into the conversation. “Since when did you become a celebrity around here?”

Something flickers over David’s face that Cash can’t figure out immediately, then his friend lets out one of those rich man laughs. “I’m one of the deacons at this church, Cash.” David has the audacity to sound like Cash should already know this. He doesn’t live here. Cash bites the inside of his cheek.

It makes sense, David’s parents are hugely religious and passed it down, if Cash wanted to spend the weekend at David’s house when they were growing up, he was required to bring church clothes for Sunday morning or he wasn’t allowed to come over, “right.. right sorry my mind went blank,” he decides to play along, when did David get such an ego? He’s always been a bit full of himself and loved attention. Cash couldn’t help but notice how many billboards are up all over town with David’s face on them advertising his law firm. He claims to be ‘a man for the people’ but David looked way too giddy when Cash sarcastically called him a celebrity just now, something Cash stashes away in his mind to inevitably forget on the plane in 72 hours.

“Cash, you look exhausted, have you eaten yet? Esther and our daughter are helping with the repass, you should get a plate, take some for your parents as well.” David suggests, trying to convince him to stay with the raise of his brows. Cash considers it, he’s not much for cooking and it would be nice to see Esther, apparently she was busy in the kitchen the whole funeral with their daughter cooking, and while the idea of catching up with her sounds nice, he isn’t interested in sitting a church gym eating with people he isn’t seen in five or more years.

With a chuckle, Cash glances at his watch. “My parents are currently in Florida, my dad retired from the Air Force and got a — ”

David cuts him off, “that’s right! My boy is in the Marines and he loves it,” he boasts and pulls his phone out to show Cash the most recent family portrait the family took together but Cash has also pulled his phone out, texting his girlfriend in Spain, there is an 8 hour difference so he wants to know how her day went.

“I remember the last time I saw him he was no taller than my knees,” Cash says without looking up, he’s trying not to think about how fast time has truly moved. “What’s your daughter doing?”

“She graduated a few months ago, she’s enrolled in cosmetology school,” David answers a little bit less enthused.

“A scientist? You must be proud..” Cash says before pressing talk, “Dave, I really wish we were meeting up under happier circumstances I need to take care of something so I’ll see you when I’m back in town! I’ll email you.”

He puts the phone to his ear as he walks away from the church, “¿Por qué cenaste con tu ex novio?”

2024:

Cash has been unpacking his things all week, finally moving into his new home, he can’t believe he’s actually back in the small town he spent his childhood in, something he initially wasn’t planning on doing, Riverfield is the type of town that you get stuck in if you don’t leave as soon as you can. Which Cash did, but now he’s back after the director of the museum – someone the government sent in to revamp the establishment – more or less begged Cash to come help, making it a whole spectacle. It’s not. The movers offered to help Cash open the boxes but he turned them down after tipping the young men generously with money and pizza before shooing them out of his home.

Bad idea because now he’s in the ER – urgent care said the cut was too deep for them to handle – watching the physician stitch his palm closed. He studies the young man’s face, feeling a sense of familiarity. “Do I know you?” Cash asks curiously, anything to take his mind off of what’s going on, he’s numb for the most part but can feel the uncomfortable tug of his skin being forced together. The physician doesn’t look up but lets out a low chuckle, “we’ve met, when I was a little boy, you attended my brother’s baptism?” This guy has to be at least in his early thirties and Cash squints more, trying to find his father in his face, “my dad is Randall Jung – ” it makes sense and Cash nods as it’s more clear now.

“I just moved back in town, I’m still trying to relearn everything and everyone,” Cash admits sheepishly and Randy’s son – Dr. Jung – nods in understanding with another low chuckle not wanting to get distracted, Cash has a deep gash in his palm from the box cutter, he was worried they would admit him for hand surgery, apparently it was debated on but Dr. Jung said stitches would be enough and to put pause on using sharp objects. Cash has been sleeping around unopened boxes for weeks, contemplating on staying, maybe the cut is a sign he shouldn't have tried to come back. “Is your brother still working at the bakery?”

–

Cash stands outside, left hand bandaged, waiting for his ride when David exits the hospital, their eyes meet and David smiles, “Cash! So good to see you –” he looks down at Cash’s hand as he gets closer and concern takes shape on his face, “what happened? I heard you moved back.”

“Yeah, I sliced my hand with a box cutter, how’d you know I was back?” Cash asks awkwardly, the giant PARK LEGAL SERVICES billboard with David’s face staring at them from the lot across the street makes Cash feel trapped for some reason and he wonders what’s taking so long for the car. “Who told you I was back?”

“You used my moving company,” David answers proudly, “my boys move and open the boxes but you’ve always been resistant to letting others help,” he looks down at Cash’s hand and back at his face with a knowing grin, “I stand corrected, but it’s great you’re back, Cash. After you’re all unpacked and settled we should hit the green and catch up.”

Cash does a quick assessment of the man in front of him and David looks… he looks good. Perfectly tailored suit, salt and pepper hair stylishly coiffed and Cash can’t stop himself “why are you here you don't look sick.”

“The hospital chaplain and I were praying for some members of the church who have been here for long term care.”

That’s right, David is the town’s superman, helping them with their law troubles, spiritual troubles, heavy boxes, what doesn’t this man do? Cash is tempted to ask David to give him a ride to the gas station and suggest powerball numbers, he’s just that lucky in Cash’s opinion.

“You’re so… noble, Dave, what’s next? Are you going to retire? We’ll be sixty before you know it –”

David takes Cash by the shoulder before he can finish his sentence, pulling them behind a pillar like they’re in a spy movie or something, the pain medication making Cash easier to accept his fate. “I’m running for Mayor in 2026,” he admits in an excited whisper. Cash’s eyes widen behind his glasses and he opens his mouth to respond when the doors of the hospital slide open and someone walks out, greeting David who immediately responds, waving back with a TV worthy smile. He’s completely serious, Cash realizes and it makes sense. “Really? Good luck, not that anyone will try to stop you. Everyone loves you.”

David was voted most likely to succeed in 1986 by their high school class and he made it his life long mission to make it a reality and Cash has no choice but to admire the man’s determination. He’s saved by his ride pulling up, David insists, ignoring Cash’s protests and helps him into the car, greeting the driver enthusiastically and Cash tries to hold back his cringe, thankfully they both take it as him reacting to his new injury and David takes a step back, looking into the car.

“I’m glad you’re back, Cash.”

[tokkiash]

She thinks that Cash definitely has a lot of nerve, getting upset over the doorman after everything that happened the night before. His comment about takeout doesn’t even register, her annoyance and upset feelings that are still lingering at the forefront of her mind. “Are you being for real right now? So you can talk to an old flame and almost act like I don’t exist, but the second the stupid doorman compliments me it’s a problem?” Ashley moves away from her fiance’s touch, brows furrowed together as her arms cross over her chest. “You can do whatever you want but I can’t even say thank you when someone calls me pretty? Mind you, I didn’t let go of your hand or move away from you when that happened.”

[anterocash]

Cash didn’t want to drag out what happened last night any further, he couldn’t help running his mouth about the doorman but he knows Ashley just doesn’t get it. And this isn’t about him, it’s about that weirdo so Cash has to think quickly to defuse the situation. Believable lies are crafted around the truth so Cash thinks what he’s saying can sound factual, “there is a high high high chance he’s a subscriber – Ashley –” the elevator stops and he waits for her to step out first as he retrieves his key. “Like I said, you don’t get it, it’s a man thing, male dynamics are hard to explain, not to mention the element of sex on top of that. You don’t see the way he looks at you, like he’s seen you naked before. So… It’s not just compliments, he’s taking shots at me. I wouldn't be surprised if he's plotting on when he can make his move..."

[kosmogrl]

[tokkiash]

The ass grab and how he has his arm around her shoulders is perfect, she’s still a little hurt but it’s nothing like how she was feeling last night. Which she is so thankful for. It really does feel like things can go back to normal.

Once they arrive back at their building Ashley doesn’t even think twice about the doorman, greeting him in return and letting out an automatic laugh and thanks at the compliment. It was always easiest to just accept them gracefully like that, even if the only compliments she truly cared about were from Cash. Though his own comment in response makes her giggle as well, until they’re in the elevator together and the sound fades out. “What are you talking about? I didn’t think it was a big deal. He does that all the time.” Ashley arches a brow slightly, lips pushing down into a slight frown.

[anterocash]

“Really?” Cash wouldn’t believe Ashley said that, wondering if she was trying to bait him, shaking his head. “You… you don’t understand because you enjoy getting compliments but he’s not being a polite doorman but it’s a man thing, I won’t bore you with that. It doesn’t matter, we’ll start using the garage more often, it’s faster too. Enough about that, I’m thinking about ordering take-out for lunch.” He says trying to steer the conversation away, regretting even saying anything, it had slipped out, but Ashley knows Cash has a silent beef with the day-shift doorman so he doesn't understand why she is playing stupid.

[ashstfu]

the fact that 2026 is three months away and 2015 is going to be ten years ago…