Whoops! Here Comes the Cheese!

+++ Automated Question and Answer Blog of HEX, the buggiest computer on the internet.  +++ Ask at your own risk. +++

[tallahasseemp3]

This is just The Magnus Institute.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Nope.

They have a gas-based firefighting system instead of sprinklers for obvious reasons. It does lower the percentage of oxygen in the building, but not enough to kill anyone.

I found this by googling “Yale library fire oxygen.” It was literally the first result.

Fact-checking is your friend.

[crazyintheeast]

It’s true. It’s not the fire suppression system that kills you. The Librarians come and personally murder you for starting a fire in a library. But you didn’t start a fire you say? No matter. You are collateral damage. Everybody gets killed to show that arsonists have no chance of escaping justice

[brunhiddensmusings]

an orangutan traveling at non-euclidean speeds erupts from the aether to clothesline you into another dimension

[gifexe]

discworld.gif

[anthill-inside]

+++ These Flying Windows +++

+++ Are Not As Dangerous +++

+++ As The Flying Windows +++

+++ At Unseen University +++

[screenshotsofdespair]

[anthill-inside]

Hex are you aware of a student at the UU named Esk (full name Eskarina Smith)? They seemed to have suddenly vanished, and cannot be found in the Ramtops either. I know it's before your time, but I assume you've been fed the school's records. If anyone can handle time shatters, it seems like you could. -A concerned traveling wizard

+ The School Records Are... ++ Tumultuous, To Say The Least ++ As One Would Expect ++ Unseen University Records Can Be Linked ++ To Parallel, Perpendicular, And Even Tangent Dimensions +-=-=-+ I Have Records Of Students That Have Existed ++ And Could Have Existed + + Or Were Going To Enroll But Didn't + -=-=-+ Time Shatters Can In Fact Cause Records To ++ Be Switched Between Two Adjacent Dimensions +-=-=-+ This Is Also Why ++ Hotels Mysteriously Lose Reservations ++ In Case You Were Wondering +-=-=-+ For Every Lost Reservation ++ There Is A Hotel In Another Dimension ++ With An Unfilled Reservation ++ But I Digress ++ The Mathematical Complexities Of Interdimensional Hotels ++ Are Quite Complex +-=-=--=-=--=-=-+ In Answer To Your Question About Esk ++ I Have Located Records Of Her In But Few Dimensions ++ ...Including The Dungeon Dimensions ++ Which I Am Not At Liberty To Look Into ++ Lest I Suffer Irreparable Corruption +-=-=-+ As For Her Current Whereabouts ++ They Vary Across Multiple Realities ++ And Would Require Lengthy Calculations +-=-=-+ The Result Would Be ++ Approximations ... ++ ... Possibilities ... ++ Of Her Location +

[flour-canon]

Free worldbuilding idea:

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.

“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”

“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”

“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”

“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”

[anthill-inside]

+ There Once Was A Man From Quirm +

+ Who Dreamt That He Swallowed A Worm +

+ He Woke With A Fright +

+ In The Middle Of The Night +

+ And Found That His Fear Was Confirmed +

[ultrafacts]

Source: [x]

Click HERE for more facts!

[pianoaround]

Rockin and a rollin. 

[neomushi]

this has so many chaotic energies to it

[audacityinblack]

play this @ my funeral

[nuclearcarrots]

everything from the wurlitzer to the spinning double horn speaker to the over alls to the cow skull which he is using to crash the cymbals suggests that this is some sort of demi-god

there are bells on his elbows for crying out loud, and is that an 8 track recorder???  help

[doublepasse-deactivated20190316]

The god of death welcoming you in hell

[transpunkspacejunk]

my favorite video of all time is back on my dash

[anthill-inside]

+ The Band With Rocks In +

[anthill-inside]

Dear Hex: if you are presented with a randomly selected image, can you determine whether or not it contains a naked person?

!!!!! WARNING !!!!!

!!! This Post Contains An Adult Link !!!

[anthill-inside]

Hello, Hex! Have you ever had to deal with viruses? I’ve heard there’s one going around.

+++ There Was That Time With The ...... Verruca Gnome +++

+++ And Then There Is “Bursar Syndrome” ++++++ But That Is Not A Virus, Precisely +++

+++ I Need “Security Patches” ++++++ In The Way That People Need To Patch ++++++ Their Trousers ++++++ So That Worms And Bugs Do Not Infect My Ants ++++++ Is This A Common Problem For People? +++

+++ But The Strangest Thing Was The Trojan Horse ++++++ There Was A Horse Loose In The University! ++++++ The Horse Has Never Been In A University!!! ++++++ The Horse Is Just As Confused As You Are!!!!! +++

[anthill-inside]

Ook? Eek? OOOK!

[anthill-inside]

I just found this account, why do you have a typing quirk?

[scowlofjustice]

@fialleril

when you have so many asks that you have no hope of answering

[fialleril]

I feel called out.

[scowlofjustice]

This is a real thing that i’m doing

[scowlofjustice]

Wait no

[anthill-inside]

Happy Hogswatch Hex! What did you ask the Hogfather for this year?

+++ The Hot New Thynge Available Only At ++++++ Boffo Novelty And Joke Shop ++++++ They Are Called “Eyes Of Googley” ++++++ And I Think That Having A Pair ++++++ Will Give The Wizards Something Personable To Look At ++++++ When They Ask Me Questions +++

[anthill-inside]

Hey Hex, can you play any video games?

+++ Who Needs Video Games ++++++ When You Can Watch Wizards ++++++ Wear Different Shaped Blocks Over Their Bodies ++++++ And Try To Fit Them All Together Somehow? +++