[papayajuan2019]

nobody know for sure how long ago a week is

[aminta]

your straight boyfriend is not FRUITY he is not a TWINK he is not GAY FOR THE STRAP he is a 25 year old heterosexual man named TYLER and his favorite hobby is playing MARVEL RIVALS

[pankendev]

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

[paragontology]

Knocked up my workplace with my 40 hour long week and it gave birth to a beautiful baby paycheck

[falseknees]

[enba-and-luka]

[kira-kui-n]

"get him pregnant" well thats not my thing but to each their own

"get her pregnant" *takes up my sword and shield* i wont let you do that to her. ......................

[warceline]

[born2love]

yo i made rhis into a sweater

[ovur]

I won't ever get over the removal of headphone jacks, or micro sd slots, or cd drives. I won't. Fuck everyone and everything

[segamascott]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[substitutecreature]

Spongebob

[giftofgabber]

Ants just made a new kind of e-cigarette called the Suck Stinger that lets all insects and spiders and crickets and whathaveyou vape nicotine + menthol

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[ceruleanheaven]

i just wanna do nothinggggg 😭😭😭😭😭 which is like what im already doing but i wanna do it in a way that doesnt actively ruin my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[depsidase]

[bethegaycowboy]

Mitski singing Stay Soft while visuals from Dracula play in the background