ANTIGENTLEMAN

LEARN TO LIVE FOR YOURSELVES.

[antigentleman]

Everyone puts on a facade, everyone pretends to be happy. Social media has amplified this now, all those gorgeous girls on Instagram suffer from horrible self esteem issues and depression. They appear to be having a great time flying around the world modeling bikini's on the most exotic beaches.

People only show you their highlight reel, the quickest way to feel sad for yourself is to go on facebook and compare yourself to what you see. Robbin Williams is probably one of the best examples to highlight here, a man who has made myself and millions laugh and brought so much happiness into peoples homes. He killed himself, with a man like that and his life anyone could follow the same. Remember this when dealing with people, do not push them further than they need, you do not know the battles they are facing.

[antigentleman]

Before the AntiGentleman can be an AntiGentleman he has to be one thing, a man. Not a boy, not a child, not a pusillanimous a man. He is a master of his mind, body, soul and love.

A man knows himself, he knows what he likes and dislikes. He respects himself, he knows there are many ways to be a 'real' man there is no mold to fit. He is knowledgeable, he prides himself in being a master of something, general knowledge, cars, history, women, or anything the subject doesn't matter. He knows when he's made a mistake and says he is sorry even if he isn't Canadian. He destroys self-destructive thoughts and customs, he does away with the ideas where abuse is acceptable and being "tough" means suppressing his emotions.

A man takes care of his body, he knows how to clean himself even if he has been living in the wilderness for weeks at a time. He exercises he knows his body is one of his most important assets he cannot buy it only he can make it all it can be. He dresses appropriate to the occasion sometimes this means being uncomfortable and squishing himself into a terrible tuxedo to host an awards ceremony but he makes the sacrifice. He doesn't use drugs as a crutch he may partake in socially acceptable manner.

He has developed his own principles he knows what is right and wrong he not only follows the law he knows why he does. He is naturally ambitious the breadwinner gaining the admiration and respect of his peers, he chooses his career path successfully.  He seeks out responsibility and takes it happily, he refuses to make anyone do something they wouldn't do. He makes sacrifices for the people he loves and cares about.

A man knows how to treat his partner, he pays for dates, opens doors, says please and thank you. He puts his partner ahead of himself out of respect, he takes out the trash, does dishes as unpleasant as they may be. He is a gracious loser even if he is naturally competitive. He doesn't kiss and tell, his love life is just as private as those he shares it with. He treats those he loves with respect, he holds them to realistic expectations, treats them as a person not an object, listens to them, forgives them when they make mistakes, and follows through on what he says. He doesn't rush a relationship he knows it takes time he always keeps a little mystery in the tank.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman doesn't take tasks he isn't fully invested in. He puts his mind to something and puts his full force behind it, there is no coasting along or going with the flow. The AntiGentleman is the one who sets the pace, everyone follows his example.

Why would you half ass something, what are you saving the other half of your ass for? If you're doing something you're not fully invested in why are you bothering to waste your time. Sometimes you're forced to do something, there are situations that no matter your opinion, even if its something you totally hate.

When the AntiGentleman does something he is the best at it, if something is stupid or he disagrees with it, if it's below him, he does it anyways and he does it better than everyone else. He takes pride in his excellence even if something may seem beneath him he sees every task as a stepping stone to where he wants to go.

[antigentleman]

The ability to share knowledge is what helps a species grow. For millions of years the only way to share information from parents to children was by the DNA itself. Then something amazing happened, we figured out how to talk. For thousands of years right up until a few hundred years ago this was the way we learned, our parents told us legends they told us how things they couldn't show us worked. Then some genius in Sumeria figured out how to write it down.

This is insanely important, a person you've never met, will never meet, could be dead for hundreds of years can tell you something. Hello. This is what we're doing right now.

Now we can't lose knowledge because someone forgot to tell someone, now we don't need to all be in the same room, I can just send you an email. We can spread information between each other at an accelerated rate, we can ignore information we don't need to know.

Reading and writing is now just so common that we don't really appreciate how valuable of a skill it is, take a few minutes and try to figure out where you would be without being able to read. You wouldn't be here right now reading this that's for sure.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman has always followed his gut, he knows when something feels too good to be true it normally is. His intuition is how he walks away from situations that seem like a win-win no matter how it is sliced. This is the same intuition that tells him to take risky bets that pan out in his favour.

He hasn't gained all his life experience to ignore when his body tells him to make a move. There is research to both back up this idea and to reject it, some say its your subconscious operating at a rate more than your conscious or active brain. I have no idea if any of this is true, but gut feelings have taken good men and made them great.

sometimes you need to take a leap of faith, believe in yourself.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman looks forward to waking up each day, he knows he is going to have a good time at work, at home, anywhere else he is going. He loves what he does, not because he is good at it but because it brings him joy.

He doesn't work a job that depresses him, where he wants to go home before he even walks in the door. When he wakes up in the morning he doesn't think about how much better it would be if he just stayed in bed all day, thinking about what excuse he can use to call in sick again.

He doesn't go to parties he doesn't want to, if he isn't going to have a fun time why would he waste his time.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman is not forgotten by those who know him. The people he has touched on his journey of life are always going to remember him for the good and the bad, hopefully more the good.

You can go about your way performing unspeakable acts as one way to be remembered. Who doesn't know the name of Adolf Hitler and Charles Manson. This is the easy way to be remembered the cowards way, the vain individual who cannot bare the thought of living a forgettable life.

The AntiGentleman is no coward, his acts help better mankind, he will be remembered for the good and the bad forgotten. When The AntiGentleman does something, he is the best at it. He does not fully commit to things, he is the employee of the month every month, he is binary in that sense.  

[antigentleman]

There is only one person who decides if you are happy or sad; yourself. Your situation does no matter, some of the most euphoric people are in insane asylums, the saddest and most depressed rich and famous.

The AntiGentleman has learned that his mind is the only decision maker in this respect. It has been said saying "It's all in your head" is the worst thing you can do when helping someone with a mental illness. While saying it doesn't help, does not make it false. The mind is complicated but it can be controlled.

There are countless different exercises and ways of coping with your complicated mind, giving up is not one of them.

[antigentleman]

Your family are not those who gave birth to you. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" is famously misquoted to mean the opposite.

Those who form a covenant have a stronger relationship because both individuals have agreed to enter it, they're invested together.

The AntiGentleman forms covenants with those he chooses, his family may not be those of virtuous stock, he makes time for those that make time for him. Giving someone time is the most valuable thing you can give. We value your time heavily, we work based on time saying an hour of our life is worth such and such amount of money.

The AntiGentleman values his family above all else, they're there for him when he needs them, they've helped me through his past and will help him through whatever his future gives. Ignoring them when time is good or bad is not how he operates he makes time for them because they made time for him.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman is not an encyclopedia, he does not have every letter memorized. He knows how to apply information, that is his strength finding a use for knowledge. Einstein has a couple quotes like this that I find very relatable.

"I don't need to know everything, I just need to know where to find it, when I need it." - Albert Einstein

"Never memorize something that you can look up." - Albert Einstein

This goes a step further, with the knowledge you acquire if you do not have a use for it, an application to do work it's pointless. The smartest people I know don't have PhD's, they hardly passed school. Some of the dumbest people I've had to train have PhD's in the exact subject they're taking training courses on.

These people spending effort into gaining knowledge do so without a goal of what to do with that knowledge. Those who walk into their post secondary education without an idea of what they're doing with their degree are harming themselves. Is your degree supposed to help you get a job, if not what is going to get you a job. Is your degree to help people, is helping people going to allow you to help yourself?

The AntiGentleman went to school and viewed it as a business transaction, to get a degree so he could earn more money. He may love the rich history of the world, or be an art enthusiast who visits galleries on his weekend, but he doesn't try to get a degree in these things. He gets a degree in something that he can apply and make money with.

[antigentleman]

Yeah it's #69 for a reason.

This may seem to fly in the face of etiquette #42, it does not.

When given a gift, say for a birthday or other event. That person thought about you. They remembered you, they care for some reason good or bad. Remember these actions and repay them like a debt.

The AntiGentleman knows this, he keeps a detailed list. He always returns a favour, he buys a round of coffee, he shows up to a baby shower. He knows these people have given to him his small acts may not add up financially to be zero, but emotionally they do. Emotions are the real currency in relationships, it doesn't matter if someone was fucked over numerically as long as they walk away with a smile.

[antigentleman]

Everything is a mental game. People only know something is a problem if they're told, they walk around doing problematic things believing they're doing good. That guy at the office who screws stuff up, has he been told? Does your partner know that that thing they do that annoys you is a problem, or are you just waiting to blow up at them?

This is not how to avoid problems, it is how to acknowledge them. Saying they were never acknowledge means they were not an actual problem up until that point.

The AntiGentleman says what he believes is problematic, he avoids future issues down the road. He knows that the quickest way to ruin is to assume something will fix itself.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman is a modern day warrior, he knows that every social interaction is a battle. He looks forward to these battles he thirsts for this new modern combat, negotiations, debates, social politics, all of it.

Every warrior knows when he does not need to fight an opponent, there are many ways to win a battle without fighting them. They require a much more patient approach, back when everyone was fighting over castles one of the most common method was just to surround the castle and cut off its supply chain. The people inside were left with little to do other than fight over the dwindling food stocks.

As well sometimes even engaging in a battle is more harm than it's worth. You can allow someone to think its a battle, they'll spend resources to be ready for you. In them doing that they hamstring themselves. Look at the Cold War the USSR and USA were in an arms race build as many big shiny boom boom rockets as you can and just wait. The USSR fell apart largely because of economical reasons, not a single bullet was actually fired.

Your enemies can burn themselves out but sometimes you do more damage by actually fighting. Sure you've won but your reputation could be tarnished. It's like when a guy fights a girl, if he wins "he beat up a girl" if he loses "he lost to a girl" it's a lose/lose situation. If he does not fight that's as close to a win he can get, a zero-sum game.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman inspires those around him, he builds people up. He creates more AntiGentleman he provides opportunities to help people be the best they can be. He knows that helping others and raising them up helps him in the long run.

The best way to create loyal friends is to believe in people. When you show people you believed in them there is nothing more powerful of a connection you can make. When you take a person that has just had doubt thrown at them their whole life, and you tell them they're going to be playing ball with the big boys without them even asking that changes their life.

Telling someone they're worth something, even if it's a lie, inspires someone. Telling them the truth and them following through on that builds them into a better person. They will have more confidence they'll reach farther swing harder because they now see that they're better. They are never going to forget the person that gave them that chance, everyone remembers that persons name.

Thanks Denis.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman puts on a facade, as does everyone. Knowing this he knows that those that are beautiful are not necessarily virtuous people. Just because he wants someone to be, because he is an optimist does not mean that they will be.

The AntiGentleman tests those he meets to see if they have virtue regardless of who they are. Virtue is a rare trait in today’s world, all people claim they are however most are liars.

This may appear to be a pessimistic viewpoint, to doubt everyone assume they're not virtuous. You should not build people up before you know them, there is a quote I love that goes something like this "Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people can look attractive before you hear them."

Everyone has had a crush on someone, hardly spoken with them, and built them up to be this perfect person imagining life together with them making assumption after assumption. If you've had the balls to make a move you quickly learn that your imagination is completely wrong and most people are not what you want them to be, and that's your fault not theirs.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman practices what he preaches. He keeps track that his actions back up his thoughts, and his thoughts justify his actions. If the two are out of sync he is working against himself, enough people are doing this already and they do not need his help.

Every day he takes time to reflect, meditate, ruminate on what he has done that day. Self reflection is the most powerful tool in the mental armory. The only person that can truly hold someone accountable for their actions is themselves. The most hardened and feared criminals of all times do not believe they were wrong. The place with the most innocent people is a maximum security prison, population guilty? 0% ...or so they believe.

The AntiGentleman must break the easy life of justifying actions when they go against his thoughts. He must hold himself accountable for when he fails to meet the requirements he has set. He plays against a powerful opponent, Himself.

[antigentleman]

The AntiGentleman is not a shining night on a horse, he knows that knight has never fought a battle, never sweat or bled. His horse while a creature of beauty has lived a life of relative ease in a stable with people tending to its every need.

The AntiGentleman is battle torn. He has a past he may not talk about it he may hate it, but its there. It made him who he is, he is a product of his environment and he is changing that.

His value is he knows how the other side lives. His value is his ability to relate to those who have suffered and those who prosper.

His value is overlooked, it is underestimated, he is seen as spent or broken. He knows he is not he does not try to hide his scars, he does not boast about them. He accepts them. This is what makes him valuable.

Not everyone can do this, most fail screaming "why me" the AntiGentleman's throat was once sore as well it never hurt once he stopped crying and started doing.