Antonia Vai

[antoniavai]

how we misuse love

many times I'd like to know how you wake how september feels to you (simple things we ask those we care for)

many times I miss you as a friend in my life (why do I still consider you that? after you've made sure I'm not one)

somewhere out there you're sitting thinking that 'love is a cruel game' (while I believe it's the only kind truth we got)

well, you know what?

no, love is not cruel no, love is not a game

if it ever became any of those things it's only because you made it

[antoniavai]

your memory of me is a city that doesn’t sleep

the traffic that beats your chest

I am millions and millions of people standing in the same crossing, waiting from red to green

running you over

I am the noise of construction sites skyscrapers growing noise that no closed window can shut out

close the window, I am 

brrrap brrrap brrrap

your memory of me is a city that doesn’t sleep how much easier  would it have been to just love me?

[antoniavai]

what if

I will forever be

the road you didn’t take

the hand you didn’t hold

the love you didn’t choose

I will forever be

“what could’ve been” or “what should’ve been”

but what wasn’t

[antoniavai]

love at first sight

he whispered I’m his type I told him he has good taste then we kissed as if the world was ending

[antoniavai]

in the wilderness

I plant myself in soil that lets me grow

I use my tongue to rebel and my fingers to dig dirt

I leave to survive and when I come I shake my legs like a fish on land

I riot because I love myself you never understood that

we separate cowardly I cut you off at the roots

now I need no roof my heart grows in the wilderness

[antoniavai]

there are no storms here the nights are calm you would never believe me

your demons send me away I let you be buried in the ruins of yourself

the hardest thing I've been forced to do

to leave and let the one I love get lost in his own war

[antoniavai]

el viajero

I read poems in Spanish to prepare myself for singing el viajero, part man, part moon he writes me like a prophet writes a girl I choose my words carefully maybe he could teach me something when I tell her she says 'love shouldn’t educate you' and she wonders why I confuse my need for passion with the hunger to learn if it is wisdom I lack why don't I spend time at libraries? between the lines of books instead of searching between the arms of men but all I want is to say; "el viajero, I am tired, I sleep and sleep and only awake when I dream of you" my friend tells me to sleep all I want because one day I will wake up anyways she warns me to stop being in love "rest and get back to life", she says "things are pretty great out here"

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

#lostineurope

[antoniavai]

#bestfriend

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

[antoniavai]

To think, that maybe, this moment is different. Maybe this is the moment we’ve been waiting for. Maybe it will make you older, wiser. Make your eyes clear when you look at me. This moment, without borders, nothing between our bodies, just your skin melting into mine, belonging. Maybe this is the moment we fall in love again. The moment you put your hands between my legs and become the honey you feel. The moment you don’t fear, but become the fire I breath. This moment, when you realise, that there’s not another of me. Just substitutes for wild energies. I think, maybe this moment is different. To think, maybe this moment is different. That is the most devastating thing I could do. That is the one thing I won't do again.