Your Song (Part 3)
Pairing: Minho x Fem Reader
Trope: Exes to Lovers, College au
Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff?
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! 18+ ONLY!
Wc: 4.5k (I think)
Summary: Your best friend of five years told you the harsh truth you needed to hear a year after your messy breakup with your cheating ex.
Warnings:Cheating accusations, cheating, cunnilingus, nipple play, protected sex, sex while intoxicated, mentions of food, lengthy dialogue, lengthy flashbacks, time jumps, messy POVs, unrequited love, undetailed mentions of bullying, mentions of drinking, possible alcohol poisoning, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of double suicide, thoughts of euthanizing an unborn child, possible inaccuracies about certain topics but I tried my best, please let me know if I missed any, thank you!
A/N: This part would be a lot. All over the place. And is gonna contain some sensitive topics. Please remember that this is only a story. If the topics on the warnings could trigger you, please refrain from reading any further. And if you are suffering from these same thoughts, please know that you are not alone, and there are people you could talk to, seek help and guidance from a professional. 💚 English is not my first language, please excuse me if I use a word or a phrase wrong. This fic was unplanned. It was supposed to be a short oneshot, but I started imagining more possibilities and just went with it, because I'm putting off studying lol. This story might get convoluted and far fetched for you, just remember it's just a fic. 😊 (Past Minho's hair is grey, present Minho's hair is ash/platinum/sandy blonde 😁)
I need to say this, if I can't see any age indicator on your page when I click on it, I will block automatically. I'm sorry, but I don't wanna risk having minors reading my works and my NSFW reblogs. Sorry, thank you.
Part 2 ⏮️ Part 3 ⏭️ Part 4
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Life in the city turned out to be as challenging as you'd prepared for it to be. You and Sanha tried your best to survive. Keeping your dreams and goals at the forefront of every step you both take.
Both of you already looked for a place to stay in the city way before senior year had ended. Saving up ever since freshman year for this moment, it really wasn't too difficult to take the big step, to move and settle in after graduation. It really does help a lot to be prepared.
After you both settled in, your next mission was to find a day job for your expenses. You both decided you needed a source of income first, before anything else.
After getting hired at a cafe, you both started sending your demos to different music labels and entertainment companies. Of course it's not that simple. Even if you both have a decent following because of your self uploaded discographies online, it doesn't really matter if the companies are not really looking for new songwriters.
But you both never lost your spirits. You have asked your boss to let you play your songs at the cafe, thankfully he liked them and agreed to it, which made you and Sanha feel fulfilled and validated at least.
Sometimes after work you and Sanha went to bars on open mic nights, performing your songs in public, sharing them to the world.
But there were still times where you and Sanha just hung out. You were contented. You think you're fixed, that you've healed.
Sanha was happy for you.. even if he thinks otherwise.
A year later, you received an unexpected call from Chan, telling you that they need a new songwriter and that the company really liked the demos you sent. He was extremely regretful that the company currently only needs one of you, and he has to ask you to part with Sanha.
But Sanha told you both that it's ok. That he's exceedingly happy for you. That this is just the beginning, and he is sure his time will come too soon.
You invited your coworkers for a night out to celebrate, additionally serving as a farewell party for you.
You were so happy, you wanted to celebrate. You danced and drank till your heart's content for the first time in your life.
It turns out you let yourself get too loose. When you wake up to a splitting headache, nausea and your stomach feeling like it's getting wrung out, you think that was gonna be the extent of your regrets coming from the night before.
You went to the bathroom, too scared to look in the mirror, immediately washing your face, and brushing your teeth. Coming back to your room, you only now noticed the medicine, the glass of water and the note underneath it.
I bet you feel like death. Take this and come have breakfast. You smiled. What would you do without him? You take the medicine and walk out into the kitchen.
"Good morning.." You see him finishing up the kimchi fried rice he started cooking since he heard you going to the bathroom.
"It's afternoon actually, kid."
"Oh." He chuckled and turned to look at your still quite possibly disheveled appearance.
"You look like you had fun." He turned grabbing a plate and a spoon, plating the mouth watering fried rice on it, topping it with a runny sunny side up egg , just the way you like it.
"Uggh I don't even know if I did. Would you spare me and just tell me everything that happened, please?" You gave him the best Puss in Boots impression you can manage considering you look more like the Corpse Bride.
He sighed a bit strongly. "Well, you need to eat first, you might lose your appetite if I tell you right now." He innocently sprinkles some cut up dried seaweeds and sesame seeds on top of the dish, sliding the plate in front of you after.
"What?!" You were terrified, thinking of all the embarrassing scenarios that could've possibly happened.
He laughed. But it seemed to lack his usual eye crinkle, the resonance of his laugh quite lacking.
"Kidding, kiddo. Go ahead and eat first. I'll tell you everything after." You looked at the food and most likely drooled.
"Okay." You took a hold of your spoon, tasting the delicious and warm comfort food.
"Mmm, so good Sanha.." you moaned.
He looked at you with such softness you'd think he just watched his first born child call him 'papa' for the first time.
"Aren't you gonna eat too?"
"I already ate, it's the afternoon remember?"
"Oh right." You looked down, you want him to have a bite of his delicious cooking so he can enjoy it with you.
"Just have a bite then." You said, holding the spoon full of the red rice topped with a piece of the egg. "Ahhhh.."
He rolled his eyes, but he knows you enough that it'll be a waste of time to argue, so he opened his mouth and accepted the bite.
"Oh wow, it is good. Well, I cooked it so.."
"Always our humble king." You gushed.
"It's no big deal really." He said lifting his chin up, flicking his nose with his thumb with such smugness. Making you giggle.
"Okay dork, i'll put on a shitty movie and we can talk over it after you finish eating."
"kay.." You say with your mouth full.
He turned to the living room, pressing his lips together.
You finished after a few minutes. Flopping on the couch beside him after drinking some water and washing the tableware you used.
"So what are we watching then?"
You ask without looking at him.
"Oh, you know what they say, love is blind." He said with a straight face, you looked at him with a raised brow and retorted.
"Ahhh... So anyway, how's your sex life?"
He bursted out laughing with you.
"This movie is just legendary, I swear" He said, slapping his thigh.
You sniggered when you heard the main soundtrack.
"Well... I'm ready, so.." You prompted him to begin the retelling of your escapade last night.
He looked at you, with a hint of hesitance in his features, but it quickly disappeared that you think you imagined it.
"Hmm.. where should I start?"
"The beginning?" You rolled your eyes.
"Well, first of course, we went in the club and greeted our colleagues."
"Ok so far so good."
"But you seemed to be in such a good mood that you said you wanted to 'enjoy this night', so you went and got shots after shots at the bar."
"Oh no."
"Hey, I tried stopping you. But you told me it's all good, that you're just really happy and you wanna celebrate life."
You remember that. You did want to celebrate, you were happy.
"But I can see it, you know. You know you can hide things from other people and yourself, but never from me, right?" You looked into his eyes.
"I know Sanshine." You playfully nudged him.
"But I still let you do it. I thought it's about time you finally let loose and start genuinely feeling."
Your heart started beating fast.
"Well, after dancing your limbs off on the dance floor and a few more drinks later, you were crying."
Oh shit.
"I brought you home right then, I knew you'd hate me if I let you bawl your eyes out in front everyone and air everything out in public for all of them to hear."
You hid your face in your hands groaning at the thought of it. "Mmm, god thank you Sanha, really."
"It's no big deal. I actually wanted to go home as well, so it just worked out in my favor honestly."
You chuckled weakly. You wonder what was going through your mind last night, what made you cry, you were happy.
"Well, I took you to your room, made you drink a glass of water, and I told you to rest. But you said..." He looked you in the eyes.
"You said his name. You- you said it hurts.. how much you miss him."
No.
"And then you started crying again like the little kid you are." He chuckled.
Fuck!
"I know you're not really over him. You've never let the pain out. Ever since it happened, you.. you always kept it in. You focused on acting like it didn't matter to you. You didn't let yourself feel. I can only tell you to not keep it in. But it was always up to you, you know? All I could ever do was stay by your side and be there for you."
"And i'll forever be grateful for that Sanny. I wouldn't have been here if it weren't for you."
He huffed. "I think that's all you kid."
"No really. I would've crumbled without you."
"Well now you're just making this harder for me."
"What?" He looked down at his lap.
"Y/N, I- I'm moving out soon."
Huh? What did he just say? You looked at him incredulously
"What? You're kidding right?"
"I wish I was kiddo. I don't wanna leave you." His face was full of gentleness, his eyes glassy.
"Then why?" You can't help the tears that are gathering in your eyes.
"I didn't plan on telling you about this right now but.. I got a call from Fantagio Entertainment."
He sighed.
"They said they loved the demos I sent, and that they want to work with me. And.. they sort of made me audition for them."
You're speechless, eyes bulging out, mouth wide, nodding for him to continue.
"Apparently they really like my singing and asked me if I could dance. I told them about the classes I took when I was younger and they asked me to show them. I was really surprised when they liked that too. They said with my songwriting and with a little more training for my singing and dancing, they believe I could make it as a soloist."
Your eyes and mouth were wide open.
"That's- so awesome Sanshine!! Oh my god! You did it! You finally did it! I am so happy!" You jumped up and hugged him as tight as you could. Squealing as you did so.
After a few moments you pulled back, eyeing his face.
"So.. you're gonna be living in one of their dorms then?"
He closed and opened his fists that are resting on his thighs.
"Yes." He looked at you, his lips pursed.
"I also think it's a sign."
"A sign?"
"Yes. A sign. The sign that we have to part ways now. To maybe work on ourselves. To properly grow and actually move on, you know?"
"Move on? You have to move on?"
You looked at him like he's rocket science personified.
He huffed. "It's really getting too painful how oblivious you are, still. But that's my own fault, because I'm selfish and a coward."
"What? I don't-"
"I love you Y/N." You looked at him, failing to hide your shock.
".....I love you too, Sanny." That's all you could think of saying.
He knows what you mean. "But you.. just.. can't fall in love with me."
You looked into his eyes searching for a cue, the cue to laugh, urging him to tell you he's just pranking you, it's harsh, but you really don't think you'll make it without him, you can't lose him too.
He took your hands in both of his. Inching closer towards you.
"It's alright, kid. I've accepted it. And I know you're thinking you won't be able to handle being without me. But that's why we need to do this. You need to understand that you can."
You are sobbing now. How could you have been so blind? Were you hurting him all these years?
"We can ask our friends and coworkers together if any of them would be willing to room with you."
He reached his other hand to your cheek, swiping your tears away, giving you the comfort you don't deserve. I am not the one who's hurting, he is.. Stop, you stupid tears..
"But you have to know I won't be too far, i'll be just a few kilometers or a phone call away. I'll still be there when you need me."
You can only nod, face full of tears and probably snot. He sighed, looking down at your conjoined hands.
"Ever since he came into your life, I've never thought about trying to win your heart, I know it's him, it was always gonna be him, I could never replace him in your heart. But the more time I spent waking up with you, the more I started getting selfish, you know?"
He looked up at you, his eyes wet.
"I wanted to be closer to you. To be able to hold you, to kiss you, to have you waking up on my bed telling you how much I love you, everyday. It was getting really difficult being so close to you everyday, yet having you so far out of my reach."
You're weeping like a child now. He wiped your tears away with both of his thumbs.
You wailed harder.
"Hey it's ok, it's my fault, I kept secretly wishing that one day you'll see me, it's been that way since freshman year. When I saw how bright you shined when we talked about our love for music, I guess it blinded me."
"I'm so sorry, Sanha.. You.. you don't deserve this.. You wasted so much of your time for me... I wish I could give you the love you deserve."
He chuckled with so much softness, it's making you wanna slap yourself for hurting him this long.
"It's alright kid, I know you still love him."
"Wha- I- I don-"
"You can't force yourself to feel or to not feel something, kid."
You nodded, focusing on the words he said in the first part of his sentence, tuning out the last.
"I'll be forever grateful that I had you here with me. I hope you know that."
"I do. And I am grateful for you too. But now.. I guess it's time for us to work on ourselves.. on our own."
"Yes. I understand, I.. I think so too."
"Just so you know, i'll always, always love you. And i'll always be here for you, all you have to do is call me, ok?"
"Ok.. I love you Sanha." You reached for him and wrapped your arms around his figure.
"I love you Y/N. We'll meet each other again soon." He replied, holding you tight against him.
Then he kissed you on the cheek. Just like he always does.
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Graduation day...
Minho watched as Sanha hugged you, how you happily hugged him back. How big your smile was as you looked up at him, still holding each other like you're the only people left on earth. How Sanha brushed the stray hairs that were flying to your face, how he tucked it behind your ear, how he cupped your face and kissed your cheek. How you closed your eyes in content. And how you hugged him tighter with pure delight, laying your head on his chest. How he held your hand as you both walked away. Maybe to make love back in your dorm or his or have a date somewhere he doesn't know. But what he does know is pain. So much pain.
He has to let you go. You'll be so much happier with Sanha. Happier without him. All he does is bring shame to your name and hold you back. He needs to stay. And you need to go follow your dreams.
He only planned to stay at the dorms after the ceremony. After making sure Pam got back to her dorm safe and that she got everything she needed.
Being out there, with everyone's attention always falling onto him no matter where he goes or what he does, it's just too much for him. He just can't do it anymore.
But the boys were adamant in making him come with them. Make him forget about everything, even for a little while.
Which turns out to be the worse choice afterall.
After two shots of vodka, it didn't make him forget. It made the pain double, it made him remember the moments where he'd thought that you didn't want him anymore, even before that night, when you stopped waiting for him to come back, when you stopped asking him how his day was and what he got up to. When you stopped initiating being intimate.
He understands he had spent so much time with Pam without explaining anything to you for months, way before Halloween. He understands it's his fault, and that he shouldn't have expected for you to keep waiting for him. But he really did have hope that your love for him would be stronger than your contempt. He started thinking, maybe.. you're just pretending to love him now, he thinks maybe you can't break it off with him because you pity him. At the time it was enough. At least she's still here, she hasn't left me. It's what he always thought.
The strong alcohol gave him the strength to find you, to ask you and beg for answers. Confronting you one last time. He told himself it'll make him move on.
But it didn't.
All he could ever think about that night in your car when he asked for a hug, was how much he doesn't wanna let you go.
He didn't understand why you said yes, but he didn't have it in him to ponder over it for longer. He needs to feel you. Maybe you still pity him.
He held your waist and enveloped you in the tightest hug he has ever given anyone. You slowly lifted your arms and wrapped it around him and caressed his back. He didn't notice he was tearing up again. Until you were pulling back and he felt your thumbs wiping his tears away.
You're so warm. It feels really good.
You held his face for a minute, you looked at every part of his face, he felt like he was shrinking. He felt like his knees was gonna give in, even though he wasn't standing. He wants to melt. He's going to melt, on your hands. And he did.
He leaned forward like he didn't have control over his body and touched your lips with his. Pouting lightly to feel the softness of your lips on his own plump ones. He stayed there for a few seconds, eyes closed, hands limp at his sides.
He slowly opened his eyes, and saw you, your brows were furrowed. It seems like all he ever does is make you mad. He was about to pull away, when you didn't let go of his face. You pulled him back, tilting your head as you closed your eyes. He moaned when he felt your tongue flicking inside his mouth, making him grip your waist tight, tugging you to his lap.
You straddled him with no hesitation, pressing your chest onto his, wrapping one of your arms to the back of his neck, gripping his hair.
He grunted in your mouth, sliding his hands down your ass, squeezing it.
Your other hand roamed all over his body, neck, chest, abs, touching him under his shirt. You brush your hand down towards his crotch, rubbing his hard on through his sweatpants with your palms, as you gave him the time to breathe when you attacked his neck. His hands leaving bruises on your ass.
He grunted and moaned shakily, he felt like he was gonna come right then and there. Hearing you moaning while you're touching him is enough to make him blow. He needed to feel you closer. He wanted you to melt together.
He pulled away. Taking a breath.
You looked at him, lost with need. The ache of the pain he caused in your heart and the ache of your arousal on your pussy is getting too painful, you need a release.
"I- I know it's wrong, but, I- I need you."
He was willing to give you everything. No matter how wrong, he'll let you have it. He opened his side of the door, you got off him and went out on your side, he held his hand out for you which you took, following him inside his dorm.
"They're all at the party."
"Oh, ok."
"Come on"
He led you to his room. He started slowly worshipping you, inhaling and kissing every part of your body. Tasting every inch and crevices. Making you beg for his cock, begging for him to fuck you already.
He can't stop though. He missed feeling your velvety folds on his tongue. He missed playing with your sensitive clit and the way you squeak and scream whenever he sucked on it and flicked his tongue with it inside his mouth. He missed the feeling of your walls, warm and soft on his tongue, he missed the way you practically shake when he pushes in and out of you, fucking you with it. And he misses the way when you're so needy and he takes extra good care of you, you squirt on his face, moaning so beautifully you deserve a grammy every time. He wishes you'd ride his face and sit on him. But he knows he can't be greedy. If he doesn't give you what you want already you might get irritated and leave.
You told him to use a condom. You both haven't had sex with a condom on since the first month of your relationship. He knows why. He knows what you think. It pains him to not tell you the truth. It hurts that you think of him this way. But he needs to focus. He needs to please you. He wants to make you feel good. You need him right now, for the last time. He gotta focus.
He stood up, went to Hyunjin's room and took a condom out of his bedside drawer. He hurriedly went back to put it on his painfully hard length. You watched him with confusion. He doesn't show you he noticed.
He's not a fuckboy. He just wanted one other woman. Maybe she's clean and on the pill, maybe that's why. You thought.
You look doubtful. He wishes he could tell you. That no one else has touched him since you, it's only you. He's only for you.
After he put it on, you pulled him down the bed and pushed him on his back. You straddled him like a mad woman so desperate for cock, you'd be embarrassed if it weren't accurate.
You grabbed his cock and stroked him a few times making him grunt and bury his head back deeper into the pillow.
You finally aligned him at your entrance, not wasting time dropping your cunt onto him fully, you were so wet, and the slight pain from his size was no match for your painful need.
You both moaned, strained and loud. He feels like he's finally where he's meant to be again. With you, in you, under you, all over you. He doesn't wanna let you go.
"Fuck.. so good..." He hears you breathe out.
"You feel so good Y/N nggh.. Amazing." He started fucking up into you from below. Making you yelp and launch forward, your chest on his face.
"Ahhhh.. oh fuck yes harder."
"Anything you want."
He leaned forward and grabbed a hold of one of your erect nipples on his mouth, teasing it with his tongue as he did your clit earlier. Like he'd always done before.
"Ah! Yes! Fuck right there! Keep- keep doing that!"
He let go of your nipple, desperately grasping your hips tighter. "Aghh! You're clenching so hard- I'm not- not gonna last, please..."
"It's ok." You looked at him with calmness, as calm as you could bouncing as he pounded your cunt.
"Your pussy... it's eating me up, you're eating up my cock. Feels so good..." He whined before putting your other nipple back to where it belongs.
You moaned loudly. "Mmm.. Yes, I love eating your cock. It's delicious. Always tastes so good..."
He lets go again with a pop and a gasp.
"Shit don't- don't say that." You held his face with one hand.
"I told you.. it's-" He pushed you down harder onto his dick, making you gasp.
"No. You need me. I need to make you feel good. Need to.. last long for you." He grunted.
You lowered your forehead to his. Touching his chest with one hand, sensually gliding the other under his nape to pull him closer. "You're so good. So good." You whispered onto his lips.
He whimpered.
Oh how you miss the sound. You almost jumped his bones when he did it back then when he was at your door.
He desperately ground into you.
"For you, only for you."
After a few breathy whimpers from him, he turned you both around, with you under him. And with the help of gravity he was able to hit you harder just like how you like it.
"Ahh! Fuck me hard! Yes Fuck!! I'm almost there!"
"Oh yes! Baby! I'll get you there! Fuck!"
You had your eyes closed from the euphoria. But he's staring at you.
"I- I- love you.."
"......"
You opened your eyes to see his face. He looks.. intense.
"If this is the last time we'll see each other, I wanna tell you for the last time... I love you."
"Mmm.. ok.." You closed your eyes again, not being able to handle his intense gaze.
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You left.
He expected it, but it still hurt all the same. Is he really never gonna see you again? Maybe he will, many many years later. Maybe when you're finally married to Sanha and you both have kids. Maybe when he's old and alone, and you're surrounded by your grandkids at a park. Maybe. Maybe not. But the thought of him seeing you with someone else when that time comes just rips his heart out even more.
But he has to stay strong. He has to stay for his family. For Pam and his niece.
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A few months have passed and Pam is finally going in labor. He can't wait to meet his niece. She's the one who gave him the strength to keep fighting, to push forward. Working three jobs while taking care of Pam.
He was at the dance academy teaching kids a routine he made to the song that the kids chose, when he got the call from his mom.
He panicked. He apologized to the kids and went to his boss to tell him about the matter. Thankfully he let him go right away, fully understanding the situation.
He ran to the bus stop, heading straight to the hospital. He arrived at the reception trying his best not to shake in excitement and nervousness so he can fill up the form faster.
When he arrived at the room he heard it, it seemed like his niece beat him there. He was already tearing up before he saw her, this beautiful little angel, in Pam's arms.
Pretty little Mara.
Pam looks exhausted, he feels so bad that he wasn't here for her earlier.
She saw the look on his face and she tsked, patting the side of the bed, urging him to come close.
"Thank you." She said with as much sincerity as she possibly could gather at the moment. "We wouldn't have made it without you. You know that, right?"
He nodded weakly. "I- yeah.. " He doesn't know what else to say. He's just so happy. Finally, every sacrifice he made has paid off. Her baby is here, safe.
He started tearing up. He knows he shouldn't, that it's supposed to be her who's crying, after everything life threw at her, she was still able to bring her baby into this world, she's so strong, he wished he was the same so he could stop sobbing and tell her how strong she is.
After a few moments he finally pulled himself together, seeing as Pam was crying now too. He sniffled and exhaled some air.
"I'm sorry. It should be a happy moment."
She giggled at his scrunched up face.
"Hey, you're ok. You're probably exhausted." She looked at him with sympathetic eyes. She wants to tell him that he's doing too much, and he doesn't have to. But his stubbornness has only led her plea for him to just focus on one job so he could have time to rest, fall into deaf ears.
She knows this is too much. She blames herself for everything. And she blames herself for breaking Minho's heart, making the love of his life run away from him and hate him.
She tried to apologize to you before and explain, but with everyone watching her every move, eyes shaming, mouths filled with venomous words, she always ends up pulling back, resorting to just hiding in her dorm to study.
She wishes she could just come to you, she doesn't want you to hate her, she looks up to you. But it just made her cower with even more fear at the thought of you shouting at her and telling her the names she's been hearing ever since that night.
She wishes she didn't leave that night. She wishes she didn't text Mark and ask to talk. But when he agreed to meet at the party she was so blinded by the hope that she'd be able to give her baby a complete family that she let all her logic out the window.
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
When she arrived at the house, it was chaos. So many people in different costumes, hollering, playing, making out or dancing.
She wants to get out of there as soon as possible. So she tried to find him as fast as she could. He's not responding to her last text asking him where he is. So she just tried her best to look for him everywhere.
After a few minutes she reached the second floor where it was even darker. It was quiet except for the few wet sounds of lips smacking and wet tongue noises from the jutting silhouettes in the hallway, some of the other wet noises, she doesn't need to know.
She opened each door, some are locked while the others, empty. But when she got to the final door she heard it.
"Oh Marky..."
She decided to look, she needed to confirm it. She opened the door, fully intent on making her presence known. This is the first time she's asserting herself like this. She surprised even herself. But she needs to know..
"Why?"
The woman got startled. But he just slowly looked back over his shoulders. He halted his movements and got off of her. Ruffling his hair in exasperation. He stared at Pam for a few seconds, then turned his head towards the woman.
"You should go."
She just scoffed and started hurriedly gathering and putting on her clothes, bumping Pam hard on her way out. Pam tried her best to steady herself, even if her knees felt like jelly.
She stared at him, waiting for the answer to her question.
He just scoffed. "You really went here? I thought you weren't that stupid. Aren't you worried about your kid?"
She felt even smaller than she had before. "But you said-"
"I was thinking if you're desperate enough to come, maybe you'll finally see that i'll never come back to you. That you need to stop talking to me and asking me for things I can't give you."
"Mark I- I don't want you to do anything you don't wanna do. You don't have to be with me. But please, don't do this to our baby." She's crying now. She tried not to, she wants to stay coherent, Mark might not wanna talk to her anymore if she's crying.
He huffed loudly, startling her a bit. He stood up and put on his clothes. He looked at her and shook his head.
"You're pathetic." She felt her whole world crashing down further.
She gave him space a month ago when he started distancing himself. She figured it overwhelms him sometimes, so she let him be. But when she started seeing him with that woman around campus, she started fearing the worst, while also stubbornly grasping for hope that it's not real. So she started reaching out to him again.
He declined her calls or straight up ignored her whenever she approached him.
She wonders how she could be this naive.
"Can't you take the hint? I don't want that baby! I don't want you!"
Mark has told her before that he was confused if he actually loved her or pitied her. It broke her heart every time she thinks about it. But she just took it. At least he doesn't hurt her, so she'll still take it.
But this time, she can't take it anymore. She didn't remember when she got down or when she started drinking. But it felt too good to stop. She's finally numb. Maybe this is what needs to happen. All she ever does is be a burden to Minho and inadvertently to you. She's a burden to Mark, a burden to everyone. Maybe her baby would be miserable coming into this world. Maybe she'd be a burden to it too. Maybe it's best for everyone if they both just disappeared.
When she wakes up, she hears the beeping sounds of the heart rate monitor and the quiet dripping from the IV. She looks down and sees a head, resting by her arm, holding her hand.
"Minho?"
Minho woke up to the sound of her voice. He's so relieved nothing bad happened to her and her baby. His lips were quivering at the sight of her, he can't be mad at her, he can only imagine how much she's suffering inside. He hugged her, patting her head.
"You're fine. The baby's fine."
She started bawling her eyes out. The fear of losing her baby and the regret of letting it happen overwhelming her.
Minho tried his best to calm her down. He begged for her to tell him what happened, thinking it's the only way to alleviate some of the heaviness that's weighing down on her heart.
She told him everything that night. From all the issues she had with Mark even before and everything that happened last night. She can't stop apologizing to her baby and to Minho.
He kept reassuring her that everything is fine now. They're safe. And it'll never happen again since she promises it won't.
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
She kept trying to apologize to him for months, especially when she found out about what she did when he came for her.
She felt like she wanted to just disappear and get swallowed by the ground. But the promise she made to Minho, to herself and to her baby stops her from thinking about anything stupid anymore. She settled on just hiding in her dorm. She's always alone there anyway, her roommate can't stand her now.
It works in her favor, now she can hide her belly from everyone, even if it's not big and noticeable anyway. The comfort of being alone in her own space made her feel a little sense of calmness and peace.
But seeing Minho in pain, brings the guilt back every time. He's a ghost, a machine, a hollow shell of what he once was when you were still his.
She keeps apologizing to him, saying it's her fault that this is happening to him. But he always stops her and tells her that none of this was her fault, only Mark's.
That getting pregnant is not a mistake. The baby is not a mistake. But the parent who turns their back on their own child, they're the mistake. Mark should be the one apologizing to them. But he's gone now. He ran and flew to Thailand and hid like the little bitch he is, his woman long abandoned, thrown to the side.
Maybe this is for the better. This is how it's supposed to be. Just her alone with her baby. And Minho by her side supporting her. This is way quieter, more simple. Peaceful. Even if it's just like that in her room. Because out there, it's a jungle, and they're the prey.
The pessimist in her used to think that things will always get worse, so she wasn't too surprised when she saw the video uploaded on the internet. But as soon as she found out she thanked Minho for getting the video of them online deleted. She doesn't know how he did it but she knows she owes him way more now.
She knows she can't make even, but she does hope that a time will come for her where she can finally start repaying her debt to him. Be the one to help him.
Minho went to the tech nerds at school, begging them for help. He was surprised but also not, when they told him that you paid for them to have the same video deleted as well.
He wishes he could just stop loving you sometimes with how much it hurts knowing that you left him. But how could he, when you do things like this? When you still do things like this after he hurt you and humiliated you.
Maybe one day. He'll get you back. He'll work on himself and make it so that Pam would have enough money to be able to live a comfortable life without him, so he could chase you, beg for your forgiveness and win your heart back.
And he can't wait for that day to come.
To be continued..
Part 2 ⏮️ Part 3 ⏭️ Part 4
