sand is overrated

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. Rachel Edwards, nineteen, social anxiety, depression.

[paintedcalm]

[sexuardoarchive-deactivated2013]

[krungy]

[anxious-rachel]

Felicity Jones of ‘The Invisible Woman’ poses at the Guess Portrait Studio during the 2013 Toronto International Film Festival on September 7, 2013, Toronto, Canada.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

No... no, no

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Well I’m, I’m glad you’re better now. I missed you, we haven’t, haven’t had an adventure yet.

[anxious-rachel]

I-I m-m-missed you too. We should-we s-should go on one n-now.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

No... no, no

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

[she stays behind it, hiding and not noticing Rachel coming closer] Um, that’s, that’s good, because being sick isn’t nice at all. Um, I, I’m glad I didn’t get sick though. But it’s not nice that you did.

[anxious-rachel]

I-It was al-alright.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

No... no, no

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

[she gets out of the chair and goes to hide behind the door to the next room] I’m… I’m sorry. Very sorry. I hear that there was a flu going around.

[anxious-rachel]

[She nodded, walking towards the door] I feel much better now.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

No... no, no

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

liar . Why were you in your room for so long?

[anxious-rachel]

I-I wasn't-wasn't feeling well.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

No... no, no

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

[she jumps slightly and looks away, hiding her face] Um, well I just thought maybe it’d help, but nothing looks right. Where did you go, I haven’t seen you in forever!

[anxious-rachel]

I-I think you look p-p-pretty without it.

I was just-just in m-my room.

[inquisitiveg]

Felicity Jones on the set of The Theory of Everything

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

No... no, no

No, this lipstick doesn’t work right. And why won’t the concealer conceal things? I don’t understand! No, my shirt doesn’t fit, I need to go get changed…

[anxious-rachel]

Why are you putting makeup on?

[raineanders]

I think

[raineanders]

Oh. I’m Raine

[anxious-rachel]

Okay, R-Raine is a p-p-pretty name.

My-My name is Rac-chel.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Sun down, Mary go round!

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

I have to go now. I… I’ve been outside too long.

[anxious-rachel]

B-Bye.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Sun down, Mary go round!

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

I don`t. I`m perfect. *she frowns slightly*

[anxious-rachel]

Oh, um.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Sun down, Mary go round!

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Maybe! If you can that’d be so wonderful. It’s okay, I don’t mind, and I can’t blame them for not liking me.

[she stood, looking down at her shoes]

[anxious-rachel]

Don't-don't b-b-blame your-yourself.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Sun down, Mary go round!

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

I think so, but I’m not sure. I mean, the first oracles wouldn’t have had anyone with their names since they were there first, but I don’t know if it works like that anymore. Looking bad is…. I don’t know it’s what looking good isn’t. Oh, that’s really sad. my mom was like that too but then my dad… and she got remarried, right, to this really really awful man who was so rude! I didn’t like him very much at all. And so they sent me away because they don’t like me anymore.

Thank you! It’ll be my first ever quest, the search for Father Time! [she frowns and shakes her head, moving to hide behind a bookshelf]

[anxious-rachel]

M-Maybe I could t-try to find a way to c-change you? Oh, I-I'm sorry.

[She peaked her head behind the bookshelf]

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Sun down, Mary go round!

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

I wish you could too! That would be so great, but there aren’t any oracles named Nora! I guess that means it’s impossible. Oh, I don’t look nice if my hair goes funny, no no, I look bad. Bad, bad. I don’t like to look bad. What’s your mom like? That’s such a wonderful theory I love it!  I love love love it, it’s perfect!

I don’t know. I need to find a book about him and then I’ll tell you. Because compliments are lies, and I hate when people lie! It’s not nice to lie.

[anxious-rachel]

D-Does there have to b-be any already exist-existing or-oracle with your-your name? I-I guess it's j-just personal-personal pref-ferences, then, b-because I think you would. What is looking b-bad? It's weird how un-unc-consciously stereo-stereotypical our b-brains can be. My m-mom used to be a r-really nice person and-and she use-used to spend m-most of her day with me, b-but somewhat before I-I left home she seemed like s-s-she didn't have time to look at me.

O-Okay, g-good luck searching. Not all c-c-compliments are lies, I-I wasn't lying.

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

Sun down, Mary go round!

[nora-elizabeth-michaels-deactiv]

You’re so lucky that you can sense things like that! And I won’t worry then, I trust you and your magic oracle visions. Oh, I don’t like my hair going frizzy, it needs to stay perfect you know. Perfectly perfect otherwise it won’t look okay and then I won’t look nice. Rain is fine when I’m inside. Why do you like rain?

It would take a long time! Maybe we need Father Time to help us! Yes we should find him and see if he can help. Oh, oh no no no, I can’t believe you said that.

[anxious-rachel]

I-I wish I c-could turn you into an or-racle! I think you-you'd look nice even-even if your hair went c-cr-crazy. Rain, I like r-rain because my m-mom-mom used to tell me it's angels c-crying and I guess it's-it's just comf-forting to know that even those-those who are sup-supposed to be happy g-get sad sometimes.

Where-Where would we f-find him? B-B-But why? What's wrong, what's wrong with what I-I said?