Don't look back

I ran away. And now I find myself in a big city and its the first time I've actually been happy. (This is an rp account. May contain NSFW)

[archettypes]

“To me, bravery is to stand up for what you believe in.”

[justadeadpage-deactivated201811]

"Jesus-fucking-Christ, I stole it, all right? Just leave her the fuck alone, will you?”

[raineanders]

Raine wrapped her arms around herself as the accuser left with a sneer. " You didn't need to do that Leon...I would have been okay.. I mean I really didn't take anything you know"

[raineanders]

" I didn't steal anything!"

[runarunarunawayhome-deactivated]

I miss her a lot. She’s a great character and sometimes I really miss the time when we were all in a group together, but during these last months I’ve discovered that rping for me is not as easy as it was before. I’ve tried to join other groups but none have kept me for long. I’ve had other indie accounts that I abandoned. Basically the only muse I have left is Leon because the others are just like beats of inspiration before they vanish, and even playing Leon gets really hard sometimes. It sucks because I know now, I’ve realised and accepted that I’m not a good rper any more. First of all I don’t have as much time to dedicate to it, and then I know that even if I would try to get myself back in the game again with more muses than Leon I would crash and burn. I even had a little not so little meltdown where people I didn’t know wanted to rp with me and I just flipped my shit and shut down the account, telling everyone to leave me alone. I’m extremely picky when it comes to who I rp with and there’s only a few who can inspire me in a way that wakes up the rper in me to write a reply back. It’s a shame because I would like to rp more, and to rp with more people than I do but at the moment it’s only two people I have continuous threads with that inspire me. I miss characters such as Rufus, because he was really interesting, and I miss how he interacted with Raine, and I miss Nicolas, and basically all the others, but I have just come to terms with that I’m not capable to be as active as I was before so I’m focusing all my attention on Leon. Some days are very low on the stress whereas others I can’t manage a single reply and have to wait until the following day or the next, but I guess what I’m trying to say with this ramble is that I really had fun rping with you, and with Raine and even if I don’t feel well enough to juggle more characters than the one I haven’t forgotten or anything. Just today I went to Raine’s blog and found this post and whatever’s going to happen next for all it’s worth I miss to rp with you. I think I’m too timid to suggest starting to rp with people because you and Bia are people I miss to rp with but I think one of the main reasons I haven’t pursued you on the question is that I know I could only provide Leon along with my heavily swaying mood that can go from being really up for threads to being stressed to death by my life outside of the computer screen. It would have been easier if Leon and Raine had a stronger connection to one another, but she clicked better with Nicolas and of course with Rufus, and I don’t dare to pick them up again for the reason that juggling multiple characters doesn’t fit in with my schedule. I would want to, but it would take up too much of my time, and I really have to focus on other things that are getting important to me being like said why I’ve dedicated all my inspiration to run Leon. So the reason is all me, and I’m sorry for that.

Anyway, miss you lots and I don’t know how to end this so x

[raineanders]

Aww Rayne! Its okay! I don't mind at all, my life has been really crazy like a new job,and having a boyfriend and in the middle of moving so its okay. And maybe when my life has settled down to the point where I'm actually in the mood to be on the computer again I'll come find you, and we will have Leon and Raine bond :) Because I miss you and your characters no matter which one. To me they're all great. So its okay, when the times comes ( because it will at one point or another) I will take Leon over no character at all. Don't beat yourself up, its happens the best of us. And I would change my time that I've had writing with you. Okay? You never have to say sorry. 

[raineanders]

I sometimes have Raine tug at my brain to come play her again but its only like a little flutter of things before she settles down again. 

[raineanders]

leonkaelin I miss you too D:

[raineanders]

I kind of miss this little girl. I miss her kind heart and naive character.

[raineanders]

*pets raine before running away again*

[christinajones-rp]

I think that makes sense.

[raineanders]

Good. Sometimes words are odd to get right.

[rufus-roe-deactivated20170515]

It’s… It is far from done, only bits and pieces of something incomplete, it is not worth reading at this point.

[raineanders]

I still want to hear it. I like your voice, it's probably the main reason why I want to hear it.

[raineanders]

For a writer your way with words amazes me.

[rufus-roe-deactivated20170515]

You have that effect on me, I have noticed.

[raineanders]

[smiles]Oh speaking of writing how’s yours going. Can I read some of it now? Actually you should read it to me. [nods] I like the sound of that.

[raineanders]

Mm.. I suppose so. 

[christinajones-rp]

You don’t look very happy.

[raineanders]

Oh I am. I mean for the most part just sometimes it's nice to not be? If that makes sense yknow?

[christinajones-rp]

That’s good. I mean it must be awesome…

[raineanders]

Mm.. I suppose so. 

[rufus-roe-deactivated20170515]

Very way.

[raineanders]

For a writer your way with words amazes me.

[rufus-roe-deactivated20170515]

Yes, probably. Although, I think you could get away with it.

[raineanders]

[blushes] No way. 

[christinajones-rp]

I see. Seems like I see familiar faces everywhere… Oh, I’m better… Much better, thanks. And you?

[raineanders]

That's good to hear. Oh I'm always good. Sometimes great.

[rufus-roe-deactivated20170515]

I’m glad. Are you free this afternoon?

[raineanders]

Of course I am. [tugs at the hem of his shirt] I should probably get out of my jammies then huh?