Rhysand: Hogging the weight benches. Instead of listening to music, he just thinks about Cassian’s “Rhys is out of shape” comment and mutters under his breath, “Am not, am not, am not.” He has no idea that while Feyre is “on the treadmill” she’s actually snapping pictures of his BlessedBod™ and licking her lips. The gym staff notes this and decides to stay silent.
Helion: You know where he is: Stair Master for DAYZ! Gotta keep those thighs Heavenly, amiright? Helion loves the Stair Master, and every step makes those thighs just ripple, and before long, the once-empty Stair Master section becomes full of people who just want to see these thighs. When the weather gets cold, Helion starts to wear sweatpants and the gym is boycotted until the heat is turned on, leaving Helion free to return to his shorts.
Kallias: Doing couples workouts with Viviane. He holds her feet while she does sit-ups (definitely to be helpful and not because it gives him a great view of her cleavage while also blessing him with her most adorable scrunched-up-in-concentration face). They give each other quiet encouragements–he gets a kiss for every pushup–and sometimes get in trouble for locking themselves in the family changing room. Where they proceed to do their best to add to their family ;)
Tarquin: Nobody can figure out where he goes, but he comes back drenched in sweat and his body is perfect. All of it is toned–all of it–and nobody can understand how he looks like that after maybe an hour of exercise. Turns out, it’s not sweat at all: how did nobody figure out that he’s been at the pool doing laps this whole time? Swimmer’s Body™. In the lane across from him, a young swim instructor was trying to give lessons to a bunch of kids, but she kept getting distracted by Tarquin, who might as well have been born for the water. And as soon as he sees one of her students struggling, he offers to help (Tarquin+helping children+pool=pregnancy for everyone watching)
Thesan: The first day that Thesan joins the gym, he has every intention of joining the yoga class–but when he arrives, turns out it’s a women’s only class. Of course, this doesn’t phase Thesan, who couldn’t care less about the leggings and crazy positions they get into–he’s mostly concerned with the fact that this room gives him a great view of his lover, who’s killing it doing with the pull-up bar. It takes a few weeks for the women to decide that Thesan is actually the sweetest man ever–and why can’t straight men be more like him?–and even less time for him to become the teacher because he’s constantly practicing those positions outside of the gym. Much to the delight of his lover ;)
Beron: Two Words: Unnecessary. Grunting. Why does this guy sound like he’s trying to screw a rhinoceros every time he picks up a weight? Of course we understand that grunting is a natural way to relieve tension in the body while doing strength training, but what is his issue? His wife makes them enter separately so she can’t be associated with him–and also because this way, she can get a few minutes with Helion in behind the building (also why she, too, enjoys the Stair Master)
Tamlin: The guy who offers advice to people; frankly, even talking to someone you don’t know while they’re in the middle of their reps is a huge no-no, but he has the audacity to say, “Lift with your legs not your back!” Fine, the advice is true, but you were, and who asked this guy anyway? He also takes unnecessary pictures of himself in the mirror and takes extra-long showers in the men’s locker room (Rhys retaliates by stealing his clothes)
Feyre: When she’s not ogling Rhys–and who can blame her–our girl is slaying on the treadmill. She’s got a huge incline on that thing, she’s running at a solid sprint for longer than you thought was even possible, and just looking at her makes you exhausted and perhaps a little bit turned on. Also: “Rhys where’s my water bottle?” “I’ve got something else than could make you wet, Feyre darling ;)” “If you don’t give me my goddamn water-bottle right now, I’ll change gyms.”
Eris: Mortified by his father. Follows his mother’s example and doesn’t enter with Beron; instead, he waits until Beron has disappeared back into the locker room before he gets in some quick reps. But his favorite place to be is on the courts; Eris loves playing basketball and volleyball and such, engaging in team activities who seem genuinely pleased to have him around–it’s a bit different from his home-life. Here, at least, there aren’t any schemes, and the only strategies needed are how to get around the goddamn 7′0 scowling center (who does this ‘Lorcan’ think he is?).
Cassian and Azriel: The personal trainers and life-coaches everyone needs in their life. They spend their time alternating between yelling at Rhys, screaming at Rhys, pouring water on Rhys’s head, and shouting at Rhys. “My grandmother could lift those weights faster than you!!!” “You never met her–” “IrReLevANT!” Whenever Rhys tries to eat a protein bar, they snatch it away. “What did we say about these?! They’re just sugar, not actual protein!” “Then why are you eating it?!” “Because we confiscated it!”
Terrifying Thoughts Tarquin Has to Encourage Him to Swim Faster:
