Anxiety: Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons
When life hands you lemons, they tell you to make lemonade. What they donât tell you, is where to find the recipe. âYouâll be fine, donât worry about it⊠Just take this bitter, dimply, sour, citrusy fruit â and make it into something sweet, delicious and wonderful!â Okay, sure, easy, fast, simple⊠Right? Wrong. At thirty one years of age, I can tell you â Lemonade isnât always easy to make. You take one look at those lemons and immediately your mind tells you that you need sugar to counteract the bitterness, right? All of a sudden you find yourself wandering off on a mission to find the most extreme ingredient first. Youâre ahead of yourself, without even considering the process and the preparation. Suddenly you realise, sugar in hand, that to make lemonade â there is a process of refinement and preparation that needs to be done with those lemons, before theyâre ready for the sugar. And suddenly something clicks.. Why is it that when we find ourselves in a challenge - that we either run away, or bolt for the answer immediately. Why do we leap into hiding? Or for the final destination and forget all about the steps weâre taking along the way? Why are we so eager for it to be over, instead of mastering the transformative process? We all want to score some good lemonade, so whatâs the rush? âOk, slow down, I get it, so why is no one handing over the recipe then?â you ask⊠Well, the reason no one is handing you the recipe, is because the recipe (Gods teaching) looks different for everyone. Lemonade is made to taste. The basic processes are similar, but the manner and time in which lemonade can be processed is different. What is sweet to some, is still bitter to others. Whilst lemonade is a universal thing, is has great variation, just like you and I, and every circumstance we face. My most recent lemons came in the form of my own mental health and self-sabotage. I was presented with an opportunity to pursue the most incredible opportunity to run a Market out of a passion project Iâve been working on for 3.5 years now. The venue partnership was free, the people wanted it, the reach and clientele was there and I was equipped to step into my dream role. I felt hesitation building in my head, but desire building in my heart â so I went for it. The moment I said yes, I was excited â the dream was finally becoming a reality! Within 2 hours, I was an anxious, overwhelmed, blubbering, nervous wreck. I knew Satan was coming for me mentally⊠I expected lemons⊠But I was under-prepared, and I was hit by lemons from every angle because I didnât do any prep-work. I didnât shield myself, my mind or my heart, and satan hit me where it hurt, in my mind. Maybe this seems strange to you â the thought of experiencing overwhelming anxiety and going through panic attacks over the opportunities handed to you to pursue your dream, but for me.. Itâs something I have come to know and experience as Iâve gotten older.
Fear is the thief of joy, and if we had to give anxiety a likeness, it would be the older and more brutal brother of fear (the one who kicks a soccer ball into your stomach and never says sorry. It spares no victims, it doesnât knock before entering and it arrives whenever it pleases. Anxiety comes in waves - not the soothing calming waves that roll onto the shore, but the white-wash covered, messy, thundering waves that you see whipping the sand amidst a hurricane. Itâs the inability to swallow without force, the cascading sudden tears, the extreme restlessness that prevents you from holding still, the elevated blood pressure and heart rate. Itâs the feeling of nausea, panic and the overwhelming feeling to give up, step back and give in. It consumes your mind, prevents concentration and keeps you from feeling any consistent level of normalcy. Anxiety and fear manifest themselves in different ways for everyone â but this is the picture anxiety paints in my life.
What if I failed? What if no one wanted a stall? What if no one wanted to attend? What if I spent countless hours preparing and planning and organising, and poured my passion and my heart into this project â and no one turned up. I was experiencing overwhelming and consuming anxiety over the amount of things and jobs that needed to be done. I cried⊠At least 12 times. Not just your average one minute tear fest, but a good, solid half an hour (or longer) uncontrollable, headache inducing sob. To run this event meant I had to approach artists, businesses, makers and independent sellers and serve them my dream on a platter. It meant I had to attend venue viewings with people iâd never met before, and open up the heart of my market to the world⊠What if they stood all over it, stomped it into the ground, told me it wasnât going to work, walked away and left me to pick up my broken dreams and visions?
God knows me, Heâs partnered with me through these scenes that have played out in my life quite a number of times now. My pure unadulterated melt down came as no surprise to Him⊠And Iâm thankful for that. I am thankful for the calm, all knowing and ever present position of my Father. The One who knows me at my weakest and most vulnerable, and carries me gently until I am ready to walk on my own again. In moments of extreme anxiety â I know He is constant and sure. I know I can fall into His arms, with a sense of hopeless abandonment, and come out restored. I wouldnât be capable of writing this to you now â if I were in the middle of an anxiety attack, but thankfully He brings freedom, clarity and peace from the very eye of the storm to the very edge of its winds.
My steps to recovery and abandoning my anxiety are not always easy to follow. Theyâre not always easy to reach â but when youâre desperate for help, youâre in a position of complete vulnerability, and you release and cry out in genuine need; it is a pure miracle as to how quickly The Holy Spirit sweeps in to comfort you gently whilst Jesus rebukes and removes satan forcefully. Something I immediately say to myself when i feel a panic attack coming is this: âThis fight is not my own. He is with me and for me, and I am not alone.â I follow a strict breathing pattern, in through my nose, hold for three counts, then out through my tightly pursed lips. i focus on my body, each limb one at a time. I lower my shoulders, I remove my tongue from the top of my mouth, I unfurl my fingers and I breathe. Whilst doing these things, I pray for release, freedom, protection and clarity. I pray for Christs divine intervention and for The Holy Spirit to envelope me. I contact someone I am close with, request that they pray with or for me, and I keep myself and the time of my anxiety accountable. I afford myself the time I need to recover â and when possible, have a hot shower to release the tension from my muscles, and make myself a cup of tea. Self care is important. Just as important as spiritual care.
Last but not least. I force myself to do something that scares me at least once a day. Self care is not just about coddling, but also about confronting. I donât allow myself to fall back into a state of disrepair. I re-focus my drive, re-focus my ambition, remind myself of scriptural truth â and I put my foot on the accelerator. The more you push through those unrealistic limitations, break barriers and boundaries and make lemonade out of lemons, the easier it will become.
Iâm about to share with you the recipe on how to make delicious lemonade out of those mental and emotional attacks. (Whoa, controversial.. You said all recipes are different!) â They are. But if sharing my recipe might help you find your own, then Iâm sure Jesus wonât mind.
HOW TO MAKE LEMONADE OUT OF ATTACKS ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH:
Ingredients:
1 Lemon
1 Heaped Tablespoon of Prayer
3 Cups of Self Love
2 Tablespoons of Scripture
1 Cup of Patience
œ Cup of Release
1 Teaspoon of âtell someone how you are feelingâ
1 Set of Jesusâ feet
Method:
Step 1. Take lemon and release at the feet of Jesus.
Step 2. Combine prayer with scripture until mixture begins to produce peace.
Step 3. Add patience and self love to taste.
Step 4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 if mixture does not begin to taste like grace and healing.
Step 5. Add 1 TSP of tell someone how youâre feeling
Step 6. Repeat steps 2 and 3
Step 7. Mix thoroughly on repeat until desired taste is found
Step 8. Drink Lemonade
Iâm no professional chef, but laying my lemons at the feet of Jesus, and arming myself with scriptures of truth, promise and assurance, and having a self care plan has yet to fail me. Sure, sometimes it takes longer than Iâd like, sometimes the mixture takes a while to perfect. But the process of making lemonade out of lemons with Jesus is always, always worthwhile.
I've had my fair share of my anxiety attacks too and believe me it's not a good place to be in.
