ideation @anzaahnza - Tumblr Blog

AlI want right now is for my dog to know that I love her and give her all that she needs.

I have what I need and everything else I want for me, is on the way.

12/8

I know it’s better this way, but sometimes I still just miss you. It’s stupid, you disappointed and hurt me and I still miss you.

balance

Wow, it’s been years since I looked at this. I’m in a different place on all levels of my life, looking back at all of this is eye opening and brings about a mix of thoughts and feelings.

About 10 years ago I painted one of my friend’s favorite city skylines as a gift. It’s simple, two solid colors; one for the silhouette of the skyline and one for the reflection of the skyline. There aren’t any details, nor any words.

Crazy thing is, I’m living in that state of the city skyline I painted. The thought of living in this state never crossed my mind at the time. I really could not have predicted that I would be where I’m at now. Sometimes I still can’t believe I went through certain things and that I just let other things happen. I used to think that it was either I was afraid or in shock, I now realize that there was another reason I let some things happen. And it was because I just cared too much. I cared for people too much. I cared too much and I gave them understanding and let people slide with how they treated me. I should have cared for myself more, given myself the space and understanding to act more on my behalf.

I cared too much, I still do about certain things and with moving out here, I have chosen myself more. I’ve learned it’s about balance, about giving and taking. And that taking is not all bad.

#11282021