Y’know, my soul shines with the same light as yours,
so my burdens are yours, and yours mine.
Y'know, time might heal everything, but these scars—
Even now, they still ache so painfully.
And yet, right now, (with you by my side,)
I want to walk this path together.
By lighting each other's paths,
together, we can find our way through even the darkest of nights.
The radiant light of Polaris that shone that day
is what intertwined us together,
…or so you said, to me and only me.
Y'know, these days I spend with you are so warm, like rays of gentle sunlight.
I just want to reach out and touch you.
Y'know, we'll inevitably grow up and become adults, but
when that time comes—
—you'll remember me, (and I’ll hold you and your burdens close,)
until the end of the universe.
By carrying each other's burdens,
together, we can find our way to even the most distant of stars.
The radiant light of Polaris that shone that day
is what will engrave us in our hearts forever.
With a broken clock grasped tightly in my hands,
I had been blindly running onwards, alone.
But even in such a bleak world, all I needed was a tiny ray of light
for its hands to move once more.
Shoulder-to-shoulder we stand,
carefree as we laugh our evenings away.
Just you staying by my side is enough
for me to find my way back to my path.
Even if my destination is still far, far away,
for now, I'll simply just touch your heart instead.
i don't usually do these, but i think there are a couple of things i want to point out!
first: polaris is known as the "north star", and it's probably the most well-known star that is used for navigation. for a song — and event — about finding the path you want to walk, it's very fitting as a motif!
the original jp is a bit more vague about things, so i have taken a few creative liberties, specifically with the usage of 'burdens' where they aren't specified in the text. i think it makes for a more cohesive understanding of the song specifically in these two places:
分けあえる wakeaeru literally translates to "can be shared", and muneuji sings this twice without ever specifying what he's sharing. ushio and muneuji are so close because nobody else truly cared about ushio and nobody else believed muneuji, so i've interpreted the thing they're "sharing" as the pain they both felt to find solace in each other's friendship.
抱えてゆく kakaeteyuku means "to go to hold". on one hand, you can take this literally, as ushio choosing to hug muneuji as he promised; on the other, this specific verb also has the connotation of "holding problems/responsibilities", which fits in well with their theme of only having each other to believe the other. i ended up just using both at once, and you can choose one or the other, but i think it's best understood that both are truly applicable to their relationship.
there are so many references to the novels: the evening conversations, about growing up, ushio's scars line... i haven't translated muneuji's novel but i'm sure i would have chosen some wordings differently if i did. there's two i want to call out specifically though:
ushio singing the line 'and i'll hold you and your burdens close' is a reference to his novel where muneuji promises to hug him in the future when they can wrestle again.
the touch your heart line is how i translated ushio choosing to show his love through making desserts ("since i can't hug them, i'll just touch their hearts instead")! it's really fitting to me that it's muneuji who sings this (and ushio who sings about muneuji's destination being far away) to signify how well they know each other.
TITLE: HOME
VOCAL: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
COMPOSITION: DECO*27, 40mP
LYRICS: DECO*27, 40mP
ARRANGE: DECO*27, 40mP
OFFICIAL MV: (from youtube)
ENG:
My past tightly corked up the dreams I wished to fulfill,
and, without realising my mistakes — "Oops!" — I only hurt myself again.
Between my strong self and my weak one,
it's weird, it's always the weak me that wins.
"Nobody can know about this,"
you tell yourself as you hide and cry alone.
And yet, you put on a smiling face for everyone else.
Please tell me about the "you up until today"
that's been troubling you all this time.
If things get tough, I want you to run away,
and show me those tears once again.
Why is it that the sight of your forced smile
always makes me want to cry?
In my blurry, wavering vision,
all I could hear was a "thank you".
I tried to assign ticks and crosses to those days without answers,
but as my dissatisfaction piles up with each cross, I don't know what to do.
The more I want to go back, the more distant it seems;
it's hopeless, I don't even have the energy for the weakest of sighs.
"Somebody, please save me,"
cried an SOS that only I could hear.
Slowly, bit by bit, our heartbeats began to overlap.
Back then, I couldn't figure out 40 + 27,
and now, I can't figure out how to smile.
Still, I pound away on the calculator,
feeling sick of worrying up a sweat.
How long do I keep marking my height on the wall?
Hey, hey, I'm all grown up now...
Please tell me about the "you up until today"
that's been troubling you all this time.
If things get tough, I want you to run away,
and show me those tears once again.
Both the tormented "you up until today",
and the troubled "you from today onwards"…
I can't bring myself to hate either of you,
because they're both "you".
"Welcome home," I say with an awkward smile
to you and your tears that won't stop,
because yesterday, and tomorrow, too,
there is a place for you to say "I'm home".
I just read your tl of Ushio's novel and I loved it! otsu on the tl!
I was wondering… do you have any specific terms of use for your translations?
I wanna share some screenshots from his novel so I was wondering if I should like
rb the specific posts I got the screenshots from with the screenshots as additions, rb the master list with all screenshots (bc they're from different chapters), make a separate post and link back to your tls, not share screenshots at all (which is 1000% understandable) or any other options? whatd you prefer?
hi, thanks for reading and enjoying!
i'm not too fussed about how you go about doing it; in general screenshots are fine as long as you leave credit + a link (whether you want to link to the masterpost or individual chapter is up to you)!
personally i think making your own post will help you show up in tags, it'd also be more useful for sharing with your friends/etc, and it'd be easier to compile things compared to rbing every post, so i'd say that might be the best option...? but if you prefer something else i'm alright with that too so long as there's credit!
Working on the event translation with Jelly and Xiv, and pr by En! I'll be handling the first 3 chapters, hope you enjoy!
Location: Cruise Liner - Sky Deck
Nanaki: *sigh*
Nanaki: …..*sigh*
Nanaki: Hey Andy… The night view of HAMA from the sea sure is a beautiful sight, huh…
Andy: Affirmative. It is a very beautiful scenery. A night cruise is an excellent method to refresh the heart.
Nanaki: And yet here I am, sighing all on my lonesome. Do you know why?
Andy: Apologies, I do not understand. Why is it so?
Nanaki: …*sigh*
Andy: There are many reasons why a human might sigh. Some common causes are: stress and fatigue, lack of concentration, feeling moved or surprised, lamenting over love–
Yukikaze: Nanaki.
Nanaki: Woah…! Andy, stop!
Andy: …..
Nanaki: G-Good evening, Kamina-san…
Yukikaze: I see you were looking over the view from the sky deck. I’d been focused on the extravagant interior of the liner, but this is indeed an excellent spot, just as the pamphlet described.
Nanaki: Yes, I think so too.
Yukikaze: You can see both the stars and the city lights clearly from here.
Nanaki: Right.
Yukikaze: …..
Nanaki: …..
Nanaki: Um, did you need something from me…?
Yukikaze: Oh, that’s right. I was so taken in by the sight that it almost slipped my mind.
Yukikaze: The dinner theater* is about to start soon. I thought I should let you know.
Nanaki: Oh, you’re right. Thank you for coming all the way out here just to inform me.
Yukikaze: If there’s anything else I could help you with–
Nanaki: No… It’s alright. Let’s just head back in.
Yukikaze: …..
~~~
Location: Cruise Liner - Outer passageway
Muneuji: *panting*
Nanaki: Muneuji?
Muneuji: ! Nanamegi, Kamina-san.
Nanaki: You came out for a breather too?
Muneuji: That’s right. However, there’s…
Nanaki: There’s…?
Muneuji: No, it’s nothing. More importantly, the dinner theater is about to start.
Yukikaze: Yes, it’s the highlight of the cruise, so we need to make sure everyone participates. Is there anyone else outside still?
Muneuji: I did spot Yowa-san earlier. Perhaps we should fetch him–
Netaro: Tada! Here I am, no fetching required~
Yukikaze: You surprised me.
Netaro: Hmph, you don’t look like it. Yuki isn’t worth surprising at all~
Muneuji: …Why might you be out here, Yowa-san?
Netaro: Hmmm…. It’s a secret!
Muneuji: …..
Location: Cruise Liner - Inner Passageway
Ryui: The hell’re you all lined up like some ducklings for.
Muneuji: Are you heading back as well, Ryui-san?
Ryui: Yeah.
Netaro: Ryui, what’s that lump of fabric you’ve got there?
Ryui: None of your goddamn business.
Nanaki: …That’s strange.
Ryui: The fuck you mean by that?
Nanaki: Oh, sorry, I wasn’t talking about you, Ryui-san.
Nanaki: I was thinking that it’s too quiet in here. There was music playing until just a while ago… Did they forget to set it on loop?
Yukikaze: Perhaps the show has already started. We should hurry.
Netaro: Lo and behold, we’re already here! Hm~ I’m certain there exists a spell you are to chant at times like this.
Netaro: I remember! It’s open sesame~
Ryui: Oi Yowa, open the door a little quieter, would ya–-
Netaro: Bam!
Location: Cruise Liner - Party Venue
All 5: !!
Nanaki: Wh-What happened here…!?
Kafka and Yachiyo: …..
Muneuji: Everyone here is…
Akuta and Kinari: …..
Netaro: They’re all flat on the ground.
Yodaka and Toi: …..
Ryui: !!! Toi…!!
Yukikaze: [Name]...!
Nanaki: Chief! Are you ok…!?
Notes:
Dinner theater is a form of entertainment that combines a restaurant meal with a staged play or musical. "Dinner and a show" can also refer to a restaurant meal in combination with live concert music, where patrons listen to a performance during a break in the meal.
[masterlist] the recipes for... | kurama ushio novel translation [18trip]
Foreword: Ushio often uses fandom slang or terminology. These have been appropriated to English-speaking fandom terms to the best of my ability. While his novel does not contain explicit spoilers for the main story, it reveals much-needed context for how he acts.
Content Warnings are present where necessary at the beginning of each chapter.
the recipes for... | track 5 ― fondant au chocolat
Translation: en
Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly
"PatiBattle? Are patissiers going to battle...?"
And so, that evening…
After I got home and had some snacks, I happened to glance at the TV that the Robo-Mama had needlessly put on for me.
"PatiBattle? Are patissiers going to battle…?"
I had time to kill, so it was really just by accident that I happened to see the anime that was airing on the TV.
"…Huh?"
I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.
"Wow, this looks cool…"
I'd discovered something.
"This is crazy…!"
I had… discovered something amazing.
PatiBattle. Chiyoda Reito. It was like I'd been crossed by fate and destiny.
"…"
I watched in rapt silence. Something felt like it was clicking into place inside of me.
PatiBattle was everything that I desired from the bottom of my heart: a story packed full of excitement, youth, and friendship.
My heart couldn't stop pounding in pure excitement.
Before my eyes, colour returned to the ashen grey remains of my world after the fire had incinerated everything.
"Aah…"
Seeing the protagonist and his rival compete against each other, and then exchanging praises and hugging each other after a good match brought me almost to the point of tears.
Suddenly, I remembered what Muu-chan had told me earlier.
"I'd like to give you a hug."
It was then that I realised…
I'd thought that I'd hated everything in the world― but there was still one thing I loved dearly: Muu-chan.
I'd regained one thing that I loved.
"…"
In the blink of an eye, the credits were already rolling.
The original author's name was shown in the credits, so I supposed it must have originally been a manga. Following my curiosity, I found myself ordering the volumes online before I could think better.
While I was madly typing away on my phone, Robo-Mama aimlessly peered at my screen.
"…Hey."
"…"
"Recently, you've been turning on the lights while you do chores, and you turn on the TV now, too."
"…, …"
"Are you… looking out for me?"
"This is just between you and me, but… I don't really hate you that much."
"…"
"Do you want me to try and get you a part that lets you talk? If there even are mouthpieces that can be installed onto older models…"
"…"
At that point in time, it was natural that Robo-Mama couldn't talk.
All she could do was blink her sensor eye.
Besides, her barrel-like cylindrical model meant that she didn't even have a neck, but…
"…"
…But it really did seem like she was nodding in reply.
"Okay, got it."
I thought, maybe I could ask someone at the robotics factory nearby.
"Maybe I could try making sweets, too."
Not only did I regain something I loved that day, I had also found new things to love.
I started to think things like I could try this, or I could try that.
"Since this Reito guy seems cool and he's good with chocolate… let's try making chocolate desserts."
I was able to meet Reito, the character who I love above all others.
I was able to find the ultimate hobby in baking sweets.
And all of it is thanks to PatiBattle.
"…Every time I look at him, my chest feels fluttery… What could that mean…?"
…That was the sort of childhood I had.
---
I was back in my room, decked to the nines with all of the nuis and merch that I could never put in my dorm room.
As I closed my copy of Shounen Dive, I let myself sink into a million fantasies.
"It's still so good no matter how many times I read it… Even though I got spoiled by those annoying idiots, it didn't take away all the fun…! Besides, Reito and Minoru partnering up really is a genius move for the story! Even though Ouji will definitely get jealous…"
The freshly made fondant au chocolat resting on the table beside me was giving off a wonderful aroma.
I had taste-tested some crumbs earlier, so naturally, I was quite pleased with the fact that I had made such exquisite sweets.
Tomorrow, I'll give some to Muu-chan and his sister.[1]
I couldn't wait to see their happy faces.
Just like that, my bad day from overhearing those spoilers had turned into a wonderful day, thanks to my daily sweets-making.
"I've got high hopes for all the fanfiction writers… May there be tons of fic about Reito gently consoling a depressed, jealous Ouji…"
Honestly, I prefer spicy food, and I don't like sweet foods that much at all.
But I still want to keep baking sweets.
"Aah… I can't wait for Sanseiu-sensei's newest work…! I hate the crowds at conventions, but if I could meet them and shake their hand… or not. At the very least, I've got to give them sweets as a gift…"
Even despite everything, I want to be able to touch, too. I want to be able to hug someone else, and be hugged by them back…
…But I can't do that.
"Now then, time to see what new posts there are today… Ugh, there's already ReiMino here? And… blocked."
Instead, I'll make the most delicious, satisfyingly sweet desserts so that one day, I can give them to the people I care about.
"What? They're rerunning that pair tapestry from last time!? And you can't even pre-order? It's like they want to see a fucking bloodbath out here!"
If they like my desserts, then it'll be like touching their hearts instead. Isn't that already the same as a hug?
"Crane game limited nuis… Alright, guess I'll have to just rescue each and every Reito from the grasp of those claws."
That's why I'll keep making the sweetest, most delicious chocolates.
A few hours later, I wrapped up the fondant au chocolat and stuck a sticky note on it with instructions: Just heat it up in the microwave when you want to eat it.
Now that my work was done, I decided to return for PatiBattle seconds, but just as I settled in, something flashed before my eyes.
"Huh? What?"
Right before my eyes…
[ PatiBattle! Hiatus Announcement ]
…A sentence straight from the depths of Hell.
"Huh…? Huh? Hah??"
The sound of every single cell in my body simultaneously being annihilated echoed in my ears.
---
[1] Ushio specifies Muneuji and 姫 hime, which means 'princess'. Muneuji calls his little sister by this nickname, so it's very likely that Ushio is referring to her!
Translation: en
Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly
Content Warning: severe ptsd symptoms
In just a single night, I lost everything.
All that remained in my world were things I 'hated'.
In just a single night, I lost everything.
All that remained in my world were things I 'hated'.
"Maybe we should put Ushio-kun in the orphanage. He's been nothing but trouble."
"He was much better behaved when we met him before. The fire must have done something to his personality."
For a while, I was taken in by relatives, but because I was a problem child, they ended up sending me to the orphanage ― so naturally, I hated my relatives.
"Ushio-kun has… a difficult personality, and he conducts himself poorly… But I suppose it might be natural after that happened to him."
"I really do think he's a good kid at heart… But going so far as to be violent to the other kids is…"
"Even if we tell him off, he's never stopped…"
Because I kept pushing away the other kids at the orphanage, they ended up kicking me out ― so I hated the orphanage, too.
Nobody knew what to do with me at this point, so my relatives prepared an apartment for me to live in with a Robo-Mama.
"…"
"What's this run-down, outdated Robo-Mama? Is it second-hand?"
"…"
"It doesn't even have the function to talk… I want the newest model."
I hated the lawyers who wouldn't let me freely use the money I inherited from my parents 'for the sake of my future'.
I hated the weird Robo-Mama who couldn't even speak and ran around doing chores in the dark.
I hated having to go through painful rehabilitation that forced me to over-exert my body.
I hated entering elementary school late.
I hated the black schoolbag I had to use after the green one my father bought for me from the department store was lost in the fire.
"Waaaaaah, Ushio-kun pushed me!"
"Aah, Shinmura-kun fell over! You can't do that, Ushio-kun!"
"I'm gonna tell the teacher on you!"
I hated the classmates who pointed the blame at me even though I barely even knew them.
"Ushio-kun, how many times have I told you not to push other people!? Shinmura-kun was just messing around and touched you from behind."
"…"
"Look, Shinmura-kun grazed his hands. If you did something wrong, you should apologise. Why did you push him?"
"I― I… said, to stop…"
I hated Shinmura-kun, who kept messing around even though I told him to stop.
I hated the teacher, who sided with the injured even though I didn't do anything wrong.
"…I hate germs."[1]
In the end, I didn't want to tell anyone the truth.
---
Since I kept pushing them away and hurting them, my classmates stopped coming near me.
Even the teachers would seem on edge when I was around, so I was completely, totally alone.
That's why I hated anything and everything.
The only place I felt comfortable was the rooftop of the school building. Nobody would go there, so I had it all to myself.
Even so, there were times when the rooftop was too hot or too cold, so I didn't like it that much.
"Haah…"
As I absentmindedly sighed, I heard a heavy, metallic sound, and the door to the rooftop slid open.
"So you were here, Uu-chan."
It was Muu-chan. His pretty, princess-like face was clouded over with worry.
"I heard about what happened in the classroom. The teacher got angry at you?"
"…"
Muu-chan stood next to me, looking out beyond the fence.
As I watched the same setting sun, we fell into a shared silence.
"Uu-chan?"
"Mm?"
"You said you hated germs. That's a lie."
"…"
"You don't like being touched, right?"
"Tch…"
As he spoke, he took a half-step sideways towards me…
"Is it because, after the fire―"
…But no matter what, he would always make sure not to touch me.
"―you had to have all of your skin replaced?"
Only Muu-chan had noticed.
Being touched made my skin tingle. It felt gross and I hated it, so I ended up avoiding others and pushing them away.
The doctors at the hospital said it was a mental after-effect.
…Basically, it was just something my mind had made up.
In short, I'd given up. I'd given up on my relatives, on school, on getting better.
Even though I loved everything…
…It turned out like this.
So I hated, hated, hated that even my own body had changed so much.
"…"
After a moment of silence, Muu-chan took out two paper sumo wrestlers from his pocket.
"We might not be able to wrestle any more, but we can do this instead."
"…"
"Let's wrestle again some day. When that day comes―"
Muu-chan held out the stronger-looking paper sumo wrestler to me.
"―I'd like to give you a hug."
"Mm…"
"Do you want to sleep over tonight?"
I shook my head. That robot would just be pointlessly waiting for me with the lights turned on, after all.
The sleeves of my tracksuit bloomed with the pitiful stains of my tears as I pretended to wipe my nose.
The sunset that seemed as if it would set the whole world ablaze stretched on forever into the horizon.
I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this day.
---
[1] Specifically here, Ushio says けっぺき症 keppeki-byou, which is a more formal term for being a germaphobe or a clean freak, but saying "I'm a germaphobe" kinda feels awkward in English, so I decided to reword it slightly.
Translation: en
Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly
Content Warning: fire and fire-related injuries
Years ago, when I was still a child...
There was a time where I 'loved' everything the world had to offer.
Years ago, when I was still a child…
There was a time where I 'loved' everything the world had to offer.
I still remember the kitchen of the house I lived in as a kid.
That day, while my mother was making curry, I ran into the kitchen and jumped on her back while she was hunched over the stove.
Putting on a pleading face, I made myself look as if I was on the verge of tears.
"Mama~! Big Sis is bullying me!"
"Hm?"
My mother turned around, a perplexed smile on her face.
"That won't do. You've got to be a good sister and not bully your little brother."
At the entrance of the kitchen, my sister's mouth sharpened into a pout as she started to complain.
"But Ushio wants my sweets! He should eat his share! These are mine!"
"Mamaaaa~ Big Sis is a bullyyyy!"
"Oh, don't cry, Ushio! How about this? I'll buy cookies for you later."
"Really!?"
"Ugh, Mom, you spoil Ushio too much. If you just give him what he wants every time he cries, he won't grow up into a proper adult!"
"Mamaaaa, Sis is being meaaaaaaaan!"
"Now, don't talk like that to your brother."
I wouldn’t say all of it, but if I had to guess, I'd say at least part of my personality was inherited from my sister.
She was always strong-willed and overflowing with sarcasm, and she would always bully me, but…
"Oi, Ushio. Come here."
"Why…?"
"I'll give you a little. Just a little, okay? 'Cause it's annoying when you're crying like that."
―Because I loved my sister, who actually was kind underneath her words, I guess I did end up a little bit similar to her.
"Making dinner this early?"
At that point, my father entered the kitchen, craning his head towards the pot on the stove.
He must've been enticed by the fragrance of the curry.
"I have archery practice today, so once I've finished cooking, I'll take Ushio to the dojo with me."
"Alright. But is it super spicy again today? Papa's stomach hasn't been great recently…"
"Well, if it's not spicy, then is it really curry?"
Hearing that, my father burst into laughter, and my mother's laughter soon joined his.
I loved my carefree, kind father, and his constant laughter, too.
"Alright, it's done. Let's get going, Ushio! While Mom is practicing, you can play with Muneuji-kun!"
The archery dojo that my mother had taken me to since I was a baby ― that too, was something I loved.
---
Once a week, the archery dojo Muu-chan's family ran would hold a class for the general public.
My mother had been one of the students of that class, and she had almost reached a level where she could participate in tournaments.
The teacher of the class was Muu-chan's mother, and so, as mothers of around the same age, even I could tell that they were good friends.
"Good afternoon! Let's have a good lesson today!"
"Welcome, Kurama-san. Let's have a good lesson, shall we?"
"Here, this is for you! We're having super spicy curry again today, but I made too much as usual, so do take some…"
"Oh my, thank you~! You don't know how much I love your super spicy curry. Next time we make it, you should take some of our extra-sweet stew home with you."
"Really? You're too kind!"
"Fufu. Now then, shall we begin?"
The sound of the arrows hitting the target was always so cool, so I loved waiting for my mother's practice to finish.
"Uu-chan."
"Ah! Hi, Muu-chan!"
"Good afternoon. Let's play wrestling again today?"
"Yeah, let's!"
Wrestling with Muu-chan while we waited was fun, so I loved that, too.
But what I loved the most was―
"Sorry I made you wait so long, Ushio! I'm done now, so let's go home."
"Mama!"
"Ahaha, if you squeeze me so tightly I'll forget how to breathe, you know? There, there."
―Getting tightly hugged and squeezed by my mother and burying myself into her soft, marshmallow-like body.
"See you, Uu-chan."
"See you, Muu-chan!"
―Shaking hands with Muu-chan and promising to come back and play next time.
"Good practice today, Kurama-san. See you later, Ushio-kun."
―Having my head patted.
―Being touched. Touching. All of it.
Even though I loved it so much…
---
That very night…
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't breathe. It was so hot. When I opened my eyes, all I could see around me were flames.
I called for my mother and my father and my sister, but they didn't reply at all.
And, just as my consciousness was fading away, I was found by rescuers.
"I have a young boy of about 5 years old with me! He has burns sustained to his whole body, consciousness level 2…! Requesting emergency transport!"
They were making fun of the pain I was in. It felt like every inch of my body was being burned to a crisp.
"How awful… he'll need a full-body skin transplant."
Faintly, I heard the faraway voices of the rescuers speaking.
"How are his parents and sister looking!?"
I wanted to see them. Dad, Mom, Sis…
"Unfortunately… we couldn't save them."
In that moment, I realised that I would never see them again.
Translation: en
Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly
School. Classroom. Lunch break.
After eating my lunch, I spent the rest of my break at my seat, devotedly poring over manuscripts as usual.
School. Classroom. Lunch break.
After eating my lunch, I spent the rest of my break at my seat, devotedly poring over manuscripts as usual.[1] I had been holding back from spending because of yesterday's standee, but now that yesterday had happened, I had impulsively splurged on as many of the doujinshi that had escaped my grasp as I could.
"…"
Even though I had been reading in little spurts during class breaks, there were still pages upon pages to read.
This must be heaven.
Really, I couldn’t care less about school and classes. I was happy in this little world of my own.
And so, while I was carefully keeping a straight face — despite the wonderful world of ReiOu I was drowning in — I overheard the voices of a couple of girls whose names I didn't even know.
"Hey, have you read today's pre-release issue of Weekly Shounen Dive yet?"
"Not yet!"
I mean, I'd already gotten my hands on it, of course.
"Listen, listen! In the new PatiBattle chapter, Reito and Minoru partner up!"
"…Tch."
Without even thinking, I stood up from my seat.
Are they stupid? Just saying spoilers like that? Something's gotta be wrong with them. At this point, it might as well be a public nuisance.
I didn't want to catch another stray bullet coming my way, so I quickly made for the door.
"Get this: they're getting along really well!"
"…"
The comment reached me as I was walking away, scoffing internally.
A new ship being born?
Whatever. I'll gladly crush new ships without any substance under my heel.
---
"Ugh, it's no use, I can't concentrate. It's all their fault…"
Not even seeking refuge in the Home Economics classroom had helped me concentrate on reading at all. As I'd expected, my mind only kept wandering.
It's all their fault for yapping spoilers all over the damn place! The hell do you mean Reito and Minoru partnered up?
Minoru… Ugh, that Kaju Minoru!
I had been planning to quietly read the new chapter in the safety of my room once I got home, but now, all I wanted to do was dash back to the classroom and check what really was in the new chapter.
"I can't believe people are shipping it, but I guess things are getting interesting…"
That was the charm of the manga that had me in a chokehold: PatiBattle!, which had been serialising in Weekly Shounen Dive for years.
With a super-elite boarding school as a stage, its students each aim to be the world's finest patissier. A passionately youthful story harmonising dessert battles and friendship.
"The pinnacle of entertainment, the peak of passion… that's PatiBattle."
PatiBattle's Chiyoda Reito: the favourite to top all faves.
Just saying that his specialty is chocolate and that he's the good-looking type obviously isn't enough to describe everything about him.
Those girls from earlier must have mistaken Reito's partner as Kaju Minoru, because Reito's partner will always, always be the source of their one-sided rivalry: Tentsuki Ouji.[2]
Putting Ouji's specialty, pudding, with Reito's chocolate makes for the cutest ever ship name, ChocoPudding, but the hell do you get when you put Reito and Minoru together? ChocoFruits??[3]
"I seriously can't believe it~."
I guess the ship name is pretty cute. Putting chocolate on anything makes it cute, after all.
That's what makes Reito amazing.
…But ReiMino is a no-go. My body would violently protest against it.
I knew my own NOTPs, but that didn't make me less of a picky otaku. Frankly, it's physically impossible for me to agree with every single interpretation of ReiOu that's out there anyway.
But even so… there does exist a one-and-only god whose vision I revere above all else: Sanseiu-sensei.
I want to go to that convention.
I want to meet them someday.
I want to shake those hands that have created so many masterpieces…
And so, while I was draped over the table and lost in those rambling thoughts—
"So you were here, just as I thought. I was looking for you since you weren't in the classroom."
"Muu-chan…"
The door to the Home Economics classroom opened, and Muneuji — the one person in the world who I could trust — stepped inside.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing. What're you doing here, Muu-chan? …Ah."
Just as I was about to stand up, my phone slipped from my grasp…
…And clattered to the floor right at Muu-chan's feet.
"…!"
Right there, on full display, was the page I had been reading ― a steamy handholding scene between Reito and Ouji…[4]
―Crap! Muu-chan's gonna see!
I flew into action. Desperately, I reached down to grab my phone, but just as I did so, Muu-chan also bent down―
"Uwah―"
"Waah―!"
I bumped into Muu-chan's chest, sending us both crashing to the floor. I could feel his face, his hands, his arms…
"―ngh, ah―"
Instantaneously, a shock pulsed through my body.
The sensation of every hair on my body standing on end grossed me out so much that I scrambled back in a panic.
All the while tightly clutching my phone.
I knew I had been rude, but all Muu-chan did, already understanding my situation, was slightly knit his brows in worry.
"Is your body alright?"
"…Mm. Sorry."
"It's not a problem. Don't worry about it."
…Really, everything just sucks.
Even though I trust Muu-chan this much.
Dealing with this body's shitty tendencies… Not being able to use my money however I want because of the lawyers' administration… Not even being able to walk through crowds to meet Sanseiu-sensei.
If only―
If only that hadn't happened.
---
[1] He specifically says 同人誌データ doujinshi data here, which means a finished manuscript for a doujinshi, which is then sent to a publisher to get published. Ushio is reading them on his phone; it's implied that they were uploaded somewhere after being physically published.
[2] Ushio doesn't specify which side the one-sided rivalry comes from, just that there is one, but I've taken some context from ch5 and very broadly applied it here to assume the rivalry is Ouji → Reito. It could as well be Reito → Ouji, who knows!
[3] Minoru's name means 'fruit'. Yeah. Literally. His full name together means… 'fruit tree fruit'.
[4] Ushio uses 叡智 eichi here to describe the scene. Literally, it means 'knowledge', but in this context, it's used as an censor for 'ecchi', which has a similar sound and means 'erotic' or 'sexy'. I went with 'handholding' instead as a censor; it doesn't have the same play on words, but serves the same purpose!
Translation: en
Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly
Content Warning: light jokes about death
PatiBattle is my life.
A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.
PatiBattle is my life.
A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.
---
"Come the hell on, if I don't get there soon, it might all be gone…!"
I was held back after school for ages by the teachers today. Some lecture about my behaviour in class or something.
Stuff like my attitude being all over the place, or reading manga under my desk in class…
But why today, of all days?
Of course, I just had to run my mouth and say that I'd listen any other day, please let me off just for today… but that just ended up adding oil to the fire and I got held back even longer.
[ Next Restock TBA ]
"…"
I flew into the anime shop I frequented and stopped in front of the display case for newly stocked merch.
I hadn't been able to pre-order, so all the merch I wanted had all already been snagged.
"Seriously… I wish this would stop happening…"
And it's just my luck that I don't have any friends I can ask to buy merch for me.
"'Restock TBA'…? The very concept of this should fuck right off."
Student life may as well be slavery.
Sure, pointing and laughing at the working class and calling them corporate slaves has been a thing since ages ago, but isn't being a student pretty much the same thing?
At these places called 'schools', you're physically limited to what you can do, you're forced into doing club activities after school, and even once you get home, you've gotta do homework or chores… All that takes up a shit ton of time.
Adults always overestimate the amount of free time we kids have.
"Fuck…!"
Despite all of that, somehow I'm making do with the little free time I have.
Attending events, making shrines, exchanging official and blind box merch, buying out merch stocks[1], nui outings, birthday pilgrimages…
"Aah… my life has no meaning anymore… Just end me already…"
I just couldn't take it any longer. I stumbled out of the store, and, after sparing only a glance to make sure no one was around, started hitting my head against the wall, over and over. Over, and over, and over.
I failed. I'm a failure. I'm sorry, Reito, I'm so sorry that I couldn't bring you home.
The theme for the acrylic standee set this time around was 'Training Camp - First Year, Winter ~Wedding Cake~'.
A set that dressed every single character in exquisite bridal attire.
Not being able to get something like that on the day of its release is absolutely unforgivable. I might as well just die.
The way back was freezing cold. The weather sucked ass, too.
---
Today, I decided to go home instead of returning to the dorms.
Here, I can do whatever I want without anyone getting in my way.
"…Yeah, I guess it'll do."
My feelings of frustration needed some kind of outlet. All of the love I was so ready to shower on my new standee had to go somewhere, too — so I eagerly channelled it into something else.
"Aren't you looking pretty good now?"
I held up my apron, extremely pleased with the crooked rows of can badges and pins that covered its entirety. Naturally, the apron was in Reito's image colour.
And right over the chest, where my new merch should have been, shone in its place a new, extra-large aluminium standee.[2]
That's right. In this patisserie kitchen, we don't have ita-bags — we have ita-aprons, obviously.
"I've gotta finish this before Reito's birthday…"
I guess you could say it's like a way of measuring love.
If this weight is the weight of my love, then even if it's heavy because of how many things I've slowly added to it, I can't get enough. I just can't get enough of the insanity of wearing it.
Merch of Reito is in ridiculously high demand, so it's really not great for my wallet, but… I'm fine with that.
Because only then does it feel like I'm giving up even my soul for Reito.
"Now then…"
Finally satisfied with my sparkling, gleaming rows of badges, I moved onto the next part of my daily routine — checking socials.
After all, numerous new fanworks are being created every day.
"Searching for… 'PatiBattle!'…"
With great enthusiasm, I searched for every single keyword that I could think of.
'Patissier Battle', 'Chiyoda Reito', 'ReiOu', 'Rei0u', 'ChocoPudding'…[3]
"Damn, this person's art is so good… wait— wait, they drew this!? This is insane! Fuck, oh fuck… I can't take it, it's so radiant that I can't even look at it properly…!"
This must be what it means to be happy. Being able to see the masterpieces being born every day is happiness.
While happily wading through my feed, I spent hours lost in the online world.
"…Ah."
There it was: Reito/Shouta.
And… blocked. It's like I never saw it in the first place.
It really was a shame that they didn't understand the better dynamic. But staying in your own lane makes the world go 'round, so never having to see it again was good enough.
And finally, after checking everything else, I'd left the best for last:
"Sanseiu-sensei…!"
Sanseiu-sensei, the god of ReiOu. Even if they hadn't uploaded anything new, I could spend hours rereading all of their older works.
"What's wrong? Could it be… is that embarrassment I see?"
"H-hey! I still can't believe it… What would someone like you see in me…?"
"If you keep saying things like that, I'll just go ahead and eat you up."
"Mmph…!?"
"…Delicious."
"R-Reito-kun!"
"Aren't you so sweet? Maybe… even sweeter than chocolate."
"Aaah, it's still this good every time I read this!? Even though I've read it before? This flavour never gets old no matter how many times I reread it! Seriously! What the fuck! I'm gonna go insane!"
After rolling around on my bed, I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it while writhing in glee.
How was I supposed to remain sane after reading that!?
"It's so cute! It's so cute that I'm gonna die! Killing me directly would be less painful, Sanseiu-sensei!"
Throwing my emotions into this much disarray… that was the power of the great Sanseiu-sensei.
I'd heard that they tabled at a large convention a few months ago, but…
"I wanna meet them and thank them…!"
I wanted to go so badly, but…
"…I can't deal with crowds…"
---
[1] 無限回収 mugen kaishuu refers to the act of buying the same merch over and over without caring about the cost. If you've ever seen one of those huge birthday shrines with a million of the same pins? That's the energy.
[2] アルミ arumi basically is a shortened form of ‘aluminium’. This could refer to a can badge, but it could also be an aluminium standee, which is a cutout of an artwork from an aluminium can. Since Ushio is saying that instead of the acrylic standee, he got an arumi, and also that he mentioned can badges earlier, I've gone with this option.
[3] 礼王 is Ushio's OTP, Reito/Ouji. He'll explain this later! After this, he searches for 礼玉. Note that 玉 looks like 王; it's pretty common to use something to censor part of the name so that it doesn't appear in searches. I've replaced the O with a 0 to replicate the same effect since it wouldn't make much sense to literally transcribe it. 'ChocoPudding' is another version of their ship name (which he will also explain later).
How far past "I miss you" am I by now?
After all, my plan is just to stubbornly keep pushing on and on
I don't care about my inferiority complex; that much is obvious
I will still chase after you, probably until the day I die
It's not something to be proud of, really,
but today, too, I'll put one foot in front of the other in my own way
If I'm bound by things like jealousy and shame,
I'll never be able to reach the future I imagined, right?
Our harmonized finale becomes a constellation, bearing the wishes of many
I wanted to save someone, I wanted to make you smile, but time doesn't stop for us
I wish we could stay like this forever, but I know the end is drawing near
Those important words I want to say patiently wait in my pocket
Goodbye, goodbye; from here, a new beginning will dawn
From my spot beside you, I worried and wondered,
and, pretending to be a wolf in sheep's clothing, I let my heart be hurt
But to be human is to embrace our struggles
I'm not an exception to that at all
If I dress myself up properly and elegantly,
I could give you a proper and elegant answer,
But to be filled with vanity scares me even more than that,
for all it'll do is carelessly destroy the future I imagined
Our harmonized finale links us together, bearing the melodies of many
The time we've spent together will be gently engraved into our hearts' staves as melodies, like a faded picture of eternity
That's right, it doesn't matter if we're apart, because I'll sing so that it may reach even you
Would you mind if I weaved these important words into my song?
Thank you, thank you; until we meet again, until the day we meet again
Our harmonized finale becomes a constellation, bearing the wishes of many
I wanted to love someone, I wanted to laugh with you in that town bathed in light
Even if there's no reason for my tears, if I keep believing, then I'll definitely see you again,
so please let me say these important words now, even if they sound shabby from my mouth
Under this sky of stars that connects people to each other,
Thank you, thank you; from here, a new beginning will dawn
Please, please let today continue on forever like this
How many times have I begged to be with you?
By now, you're probably already building a bridge towards a new era
I must've said "I'm okay" countless times by now, but I can still go on
I will still chase after you, until I reach that future
JPN:
I miss youを通過してどれくらいだろう
意地を張って何とかやってるつもりだよ
劣等感はI don't care 当たり前だろう
君を追いかけるよ 多分死ぬまで
TITLE: 快晴 (Clear Weather)
VOCAL: IA
COMPOSITION: Orangestar
LYRICS: Orangestar
OFFICIAL MV: (from youtube)
ENG:
When will the rainy season finally let up? you grumbled
at the sight of morning dew still sparkling on the hydrangeas
We can already hear summer's footsteps around the corner, you said,
your hands already pushing my back, so let's go and greet it!
On your mark, we left the alleyways behind,
scrambled over the hills from back then, and even crossed rainbows
Nobody's left their footprints on this summer sky yet,
so let's take it for ourselves, just for the two of us!
...Or so you said with a smile
in that distant summer memory
Though we can't meet again,
nor can we ever return to that day,
that's what made it so beautiful:
The summer we had all to ourselves
Goodbye, I love you
With that, it seems like
this is the end of our story
Maybe we weren't meant to be after all
Some things won't change
like the sky, the stars, and that crying face of yours
But I hope that someday,
we can laugh together once again
A lot has happened since then,
and it's probably still happening
But I'll keep living with a smile on my face
because, as you'd say, "that's how life is", hm?
If I were so simple-minded like that,
then no matter how pleasant my days are,
there'd be no meaning to the days that pass
If that's the case, then tomorrow's 'me' wouldn't be 'me'
because that's not how it works, is it?
Though I might cry, the skies will surely clear
Though my tears blur your visage, you'll always be clear as day
Though we struggle, the sky will rain with falling stars, so...
Yeah, I guess I'll keep living
I know this sky loves you
Though everything might
someday change,
the sky will still be blue!
I won't ever forget that.
But so that I might someday meet you again,
I'll keep on living and living
so please smile, okay?
The sound of chimes just past five in the evening
resound throughout the city streets
as I wait here for
the sunset from that day I can't return to
Since I've grown up, I've been
hopelessly searching for answers
Aah, the night breeze is like it was then
Through this morning without light,
I'll sing with your image in mind,
for beyond your hung head
the white flowers bleed into the moon
Even when I wake in the early mornings,
somehow the city streets are quiet
And, time after time, the cold glow of sunrise
is the only thing that awaits
The great full moon begins to sink
beneath the distant hill
and only my singular shadow begins to stretch
I'll grasp the moon that floats within the sky
of the nights that you aren't here
and begin to write tomorrow's story
Nameless flowers only
bring up your memory;
you, of wavering dreams
and pale dawns
If you had smiled back then,
if you had cried back then,
if you had just been by my side,
maybe you wouldn't have been the only thing left behind
Within the dream still without a continuation,
I wonder, if you were in my place,
whether you might have smiled
at the sight of snow falling
over the deserted city in the morning
Through this morning without light,
I'll sing with your image in mind,
for beyond your hung head
the white flowers bleed into the moon
The sound of chimes just past five in the evening
resound throughout the city streets
The sunset we once watched together
has long since become the moon
TITLE: I Wish
ARTIST: なにわ男子 (Naniwa Danshi)
COMPOSITION: youth case
LYRICS: youth case
ARRANGEMENT: youth case, ha-j
OFFICIAL MV: (official mv) (recording mv)
ENG:
So I wouldn't ever forget it, I grabbed my dream and ran
through the seasons I longed for
towards where you are, in order to meet you
I can hear your voice as it suddenly caresses my cheek
just like the breeze of that day,
opening the door to memories I'd tightly locked up
So that you always stay true to yourself,
let's spin a tale, a tale of our shared dream
as we continue to chase our aspirations
Baby oh my darling
Your presence gives me strength, and the bells that ring with realisation
are tolling this world's unending melody
Surely, it must be a miracle
Darling, just your presence brings out my shine
For that smile to forever stay on your face,
no matter what the future holds, is my one and only wish
I know, but despite countless trails from my overflowed tears
and the countless what-ifs I've worried over,
I've still managed to come this far
I believe that what's led me through thick and thin
towards my fascination to you
is the fact that in the depths of your eyes, there's something that can't be shaken
The day I swore I would change was the day my story began again
Just once more, I want to dream that dream
for I just can't forget the feeling of my heart throbbing in my chest
Baby oh my darling
Your presence makes me honest, so I won't run away any more
Despite the burden they bear, I still hold these bittersweet memories
so dear to me
Darling, just your presence gives me the light to overcome even the longest nights
And for that light to flood the sky
is my unchanging wish
My heart is so full to the point that it aches
and so that I won't run away from these feelings,
I'll tightly embrace them the way they are,
just the way you are
Baby oh my darling
Your presence gives me strength, and the bells that ring with realisation
are tolling this world's unending melody
Surely, it must be a miracle
Darling, just your presence brings out my shine
For that smile to forever stay on your face,
no matter what the future holds, is my one and only wish
TITLE: the WALL
ARTIST: Leo/need
SERIES: Project Sekai: COLORFUL STAGE!
COMPOSITION: buzzG
LYRICS: buzzG
OFFICIAL MV: (L/N game size ver) (L/N full ver)
ENG:
I wanted to know what lies at the heart of the lightning-like feeling
I felt as I held the wavering twilight sky close, not wanting to let it go
In truth, I don't need to be understood, but I still want to know
why I believed not being able to touch anyone's heart was a strength
This battered melody's rhythm is woven with blue-coloured scars,
and because these scars will never disappear,
to sing is to hurt, to be afraid, but yet I sing this ordinary song that connected us,
this song, which can overcome every wall
"It's alright for your hands and feet to tremble," you told me,
but could my timid, transparent self even leave anything behind?
Everything I wanted to convey should have already dried up,
but why is it that I still want to paint the orange that bridges day and night?
"It's alright to smile," you told me, who had become afraid of being alone,
as my heartbeat pounded at the beautiful sight before me
Surely, the gods created us to be weak
so that we wouldn't have to walk our paths alone
The happiness that brings tears to my eyes and these countless, towering walls—
both of them, all of them, are all for the sake of this voice
As I recounted the days I loathed, days where I felt as if I was drowning in a deep sea of mist,
you listened, all the while resiliently holding in your tears
This battered melody woven with blue-coloured scars overflows from me,
and because these scars cannot be separated from its rhythm,
to sing will still be painfully lonely, but yet
with you by my side, I want to sing this song; I want to sing a song of the world,
a disfigured, yet warm, song which brings down every wall
TITLE: We are young
ARTIST: King & Prince
COMPOSITION: 玉置浩二 (Tamaki Koji)
LYRICS: いしわたり淳治 (Ishiwatari Junji)
OFFICIAL MV: (from youtube)
ENG:
Awakening at the end of the world;
alone, you raised your eyes to the sky
Stumbling over and over,
and getting hurt over and over,
are steps we take towards our still-invisible tomorrows
We are young, we are young
Shadows cast by the sunset stretch
the waving figures of your friends
The days quietly pass as you chase after their footsteps
We are young
The path ahead might seem insurmountable when you're lost,
but you won't get any younger just by waiting
The sun will still rise and dye the streets in light
We are young
The path you've chosen
will surely push you forward
In a corner of the world,
a story will begin
We are wrong, we are wrong
The feelings about to overflow from you
are overflowing with the unseen effort you can't see you've put in
We are young
Sometimes, you need to stop in your tracks and bend down to fix
the messy feelings and loosened shoelaces you see when you look down
The lined-up shadows we cast only grow ever longer
We are young
The answer you're looking for
might be simpler than you think
The path ahead might seem insurmountable when you're lost,
but you won't get younger just by waiting
The sun will still rise and dye the streets in light
We are young
Your past self
will surely push you forward
A one-and-only unique
story will begin
Awakening at the end of the world;
together, we raised our eyes to the sky
JPN:
目覚めた空の果て
見上げて 一人
何度も 何度も
躓いて傷つくのは
見えない明日へと踏み出すから
We are young, we are young
夕暮れ 友に
手を振って伸びてく影
そっと背中を追いかけた日々
We are young
迷う時は険しい道へ
今日よりも若い日は来ないから
街を染め 陽が昇る
We are young
選んだ道がきっと
君の背中を押すよ
世界の片隅で
始まるストーリー
We are wrong, we are wrong
君の溢れそうな気持ちは
君にも見えてない努力が詰まっている
We are young
下を向けば解けそうな
想いと靴紐 結び直して
伸びてる影が並ぶ
We are young
探してた答えは
思うより単純さ
迷う時は険しい道へ
今日よりも若い日は来ないから
街を染め 陽が昇る
We are young
過去の自分がきっと
君の背中を押すよ
We saw a distant rainbow in the clearing sky
the day that our respective paths crossed
Grasping our different-coloured pieces in our hands,
we're aiming beyond the dreams we believed in
Linked together by the strength of the deep bonds between our souls,
we're sworn friends, soulmates who'll freely spread our wings together
That's why
we'll take you to a place where the sun shines
The first step is putting a smile on your face
We pieces of coloured melodies will shine light on you
If we're with you, then no matter where we go,
we'll continue to shine even brighter,
reflecting the radiance of our present
Making mistakes and butting heads might be inevitable, but
we've only grown stronger with everything we've overcome
Even though we might have let countless tears fall,
our unceasing laughter will overflow yet even more
And despite all of our detours and standstills, we've found
the spring from where our rainbow-coloured start line begins
Ever-present
are the "thank you"s we feel from our hearts
We might not be able to say it honestly; it's embarrassing, after all,
but we'll weave it into our song with a harmony that radiates brilliance
We'll leave a trace of our existence right here
The fact that our hands are linked will never change
There's no other place where we can be our true selves,
so, no matter how many years pass,
a piece of us will always, always be a part of you
That's why
we'll take you to a place where the sun shines
The first step is putting a smile on your face
We pieces of coloured melodies will shine light on you
If we're with you, then no matter where we go,
we'll continue to shine even brighter
because we were so fortunate to have met you
