… He’ll shake his head. “I want to hear what you’re thinking. … Please, tell me more.”
... He’ll glance back at him. For just a moment...
“... This just isn’t working for me.” Pulling away, his eyes cast out over the ocean-- “... And I told you, I’ve tried ‘other avenue’s before, too. ... I never thought I’d have the chance to live in a house like that, with a ‘family’... So I’m grateful for that. But... I don’t think that’s the one either.
“... But I think I understand a bit more. What I like, what I don’t like... What I want.
“... I wanna know what you think those things would be for a gang leader?”
He’ll bring up a few topics here and there as they walk. But… his mind is a bit preoccupied on how to help you with your problems.
Pu... The weather. Weird local news. Stuff on tv. By the water, it’s much more quiet and isolated-- It’s there that he feels safer to stop his feet and wave a hand, and say--
“Look. Sorry to string you along for my midlife crises, but I think... I already had it figured out, what setting I’m best in.”
Hm.. A slightly sad look but he’ll nod. “Of course.”
‘K.... Then-- Dolling up with his jacket and shoes, he’ll head out that way-- Really, just... Out of the house. Out of earshot. Anything.
And while walking, he looks straight ahead. Watching for reasons to quiet himself, or... maybe, probably, just finding it a little harder to speak directly into that big soft face.
.. .Can they talk about other things? Until they reach the docks?
“Of course comfort is found in what you’ve known most of your life and something so different makes you feel out of place… But that doesn’t mean you should leave it. If you find you’re unhappy, of course you can pursue other avenues… But you might feel like those are just more circles and not know how you fit into them too. … But I really don’t think you should turn back because of that.”
... I’m not sure you get it.
Thinking that with a sigh, he drums two knuckles against the wall. “No, let’s go back to that first part. Hang on that.
Another day, drifting sleepily along through the muggy waters of life, like... like..... plywood, or something
Hell yeah, he’s great at metaphors.
Yeah, but. It kind of does seem like that, doesn’t it? Really, Yasha’s great and all, this whole family is... weird, but nice. But however many days or months or years? -- pass, it...
... I really wasn’t made for the ‘family’ scene, was I?
Tussling with Cecilia like siblings might, or going clothes shopping with Yasha. Or messing with the house’s pets, or prodding at the other people here and there- pretending he doesn’t still feel half as awkward as he does. It’s all fun and fine. But for such a weird group of people, why does it all look so natural to them...?
He gave it a try, but we’re still here, huh...? Sitting out back with Aster, going on walks, now and then sticking his nose in and making stupid noises- He still feels like a stranger. How many of them even know what kind of background he came from? And how many would be a fan? ‘Hotaka’, ‘Dimitri’, ‘Dri’- and of course Yasha. Does anyone else know? And why does it feel so taboo to talk about anything he actually understands?
... Maybe he put that on himself, though. Aster. And Cecilia. Right, that’s why...
... How surprised would anyone be if he just ditched and went back, though? He can feel the ripples of disappointment and upset from just the thought, but surprise? On paper, doesn’t it seem like the most probable outcome?
After trying his hand in both directions... Even though he likes certain relationships, and dislikes the thought of damaging them-- It... Only one of these routes actually feels natural. Comfortable. Even though he likes some of the circles, to keep trying to fit a square block through the hole just.... Hey look, maybe he can do metaphors.
... Besides. After all, it still seems like Aster is mad at him.
Or is that just him...? He doesn’t know anymore...
... It feels like something to talk to Yasha about. That’s one thing that did start to feel ‘natural’, though.... Guess that’s... good...?
Despite his best efforts, he’s only made... three hundred thirty seven...
Added to what he’s already had, he’s walking into December with five hundred sixty three-- That’s not too bad, but at this rate...
337/12 -- roughly only 28 a day, so therefore..
THAT’S NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH!!!
Come on, he needs some fast cash stat!!! Shine your shoes, sir!? Wash your car!? Babysitting! Pet sitting! He’ll sell blood!!! wait, that’s probably not a good--
Ah, that’s it! He’ll rustle up some business cards and throw them around town, that’ll spread word fast-- All he needs is a killer design, like--
Christmas is coming, which means he’s finally gonna get himself the motorcycle he’s wanted all these years!!!
Of course, continuing his life as an ex-ne’er-do-well, it’d be incredibly disjointed to return to those means of moneymaking. He has managed a good few bucks selling some of the fish he’s caught, maybe if he put more focus into that he could rustle up enough...
How much does a motorcycle cost anyway-?
GACK---
W-Wait, used come cheaper, maybe there’s still hope...
All he has to do, is sell his mortal soul and--
N-Nah, nah. He’s done this before! If he can just find some odd jobs around town, if he finds enough well paying ones maybe he can save up enough just in time--
Ah, well she feels concern at least… it does look like it hurts? Perhaps not that much, though. But she doesn’t hate your antics! She’ll see the look the cat gives,
“Why does she hate you!?”
“I don’t know! We used to be best buddies!!” Or rather, she would sit at a distance and watch him, just as she’s doing now--
“Maybe she’s mad I haven’t come by in a bit..? But that--
You know… she doesn’t see you outside the house much. Or inside the house much, either… Though if she sees you chasing cats then, well, y’know..? She feels that… but!!
“Oh my god Evan, your arm!!!”
It’s a mood, isn’t it?? Except sometimes! Sometimes! They get pissy at you for no good reason!!!
“It hurts-!” He’ll clutch his arm, falling back into the grass and holding it skyward. “God! The pain! I’m bleeding out! Call the hospital! No- The funeral director! God!!”
If you love him at all, Miss Tincan-chan, you’ll be feeling really sorry right about now! .... What’s with that look!?
Okay. It’s been a bit since he chased stray cats around the area, sure. Maybe some old friends have moved on! Forgot his face! Maybe they just don’t like personally-caught tuna!!! No personal offence to that!?
But you, Miss Tincan--chan, were always the gentlest!!!!
So why is there a big scratch on his arm now, huh?????
