A Work In Progress

[quotemadness]

“There are days that must happen to you.”

— Walt Whitman (via quotemadness)

[quotemadness]

“Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again.”

— Vladimir Nabokov (via quotemadness)

[lilmartinimami]

“But at some point you have to stop being so angry, you have to stop being so sad, you have to stop killing yourself and start being gentle with yourself. At some point you have to just let it all go and be happy, you have to spread love instead of being afraid of it. You have to love yourself and everyone around you before its too late. Dont waste away being unhappy over trivial things dear. Dont do it. Dont do it to yourself and dont let other people do it to you.”

— (via people-remain-the-same)

[dualvoidanima]

‘safe’

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I’m learning to love myself. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

— Unknown

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Tips for When you Feel Angry

1. Stifle your first impulse to react by saying or doing something negative. Instead, stop and either do the opposite to that, or simply respond by doing nothing at all.

2. If you can, remove yourself from the situation. Detach temporarily and choose to walk away. You can talk about what happened, or the issue, later on.

3. Speak calmly to yourself so you don’t over-react. For example, you could tell yourself “Just chill”, or “Just leave it for now”.

4. If you feel as if the person has really pressed your buttons, make yourself count to ten before you think about responding. Also, focus your attention on slowing down your breathing, and doing what you can to make your body relax.

5. To help with this, distract yourself by visualizing something that’s relaxing and calming. For example, it could be a peaceful scene like the mountains or a lake, or it could be something funny that has happened recently.

6. Remind yourself it’s crucial that you act rationally. You’re responsible for anything you say and do. Don’t be controlled by your emotions. Don’t end up with regrets.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Choose to believe that you are truly worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of affection, worthy of attention, worthy of acceptance, worthy of a second chance, worthy of being chosen, worthy of succeeding and of reaching for your dreams.”

— onlinecounsellingcollege.com

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“This is the beginning of loving yourself. Welcome home.”

— Unknown

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to get over past mistakes

1. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, does things wrongs, and has moments of regret. There are no perfect people out there. In that sense, you are just the same as everybody else.

2. Remind yourself that “that was then, and this is now”. You can’t turn back the clocks and change what you did, but you can be a different person in the future.

3. Allow yourself to experience and name the feelings you are struggling with (regret, guilt, shame, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness, etc.) – then make the decision to let those feelings go. In the end, it’s unhealthy to become attached to them.

4. Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation. What would you do differently if you found yourself in that situation again? How can it change the person you are now (so that you feel better about yourself)?

5. Recognise that failings and mistakes are part of the growth process. It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter obstacles, challenges and failures throughout life. Don’t let that stop you from embracing life.

6. Remind yourself that “it was what you did, it’s not who you are.” Don’t allow any single event or experience to define you. You are more than what you did – so don’t allow part of your past to now become your identity. Don’t let it determine your destiny.

7. Give yourself the gift of a new start. Forgive yourself, decide to start again, and move on with your life with a fresh confidence.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Long after the mind forgets the details, the heart remembers the feelings.”

— Unknown

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Deal with Mistakes and Failures in Life

Remind yourself that:

1. This is not the end. You are going to survive. There’s no point in pretending that life is always great. Sometimes we trip and fall, or we make terrible mistakes. Allow yourself to heal, then get up and start again. Take one or two small steps … and know you’re going to survive!

2. Everybody makes mistakes along the way. You’re only a failure if you give up and don’t try. Accept that you are human … and move on with your life.

3. Positive thinking leads to positive results. If you think you can succeed then there’s a good chance that you will. The mind is very powerful. We create what we believe.

4. Success is closer than you think when you are down. Mistakes can be our teachers; they don’t mean all is lost. In fact, you’re one step closer to getting what you want.

5. You are not your mistakes. Don’t fall into the trap of defining who you are by different things you do – or by your failures and mistakes.

6. There are very few mistakes which are truly devastating. Mistakes are merely setbacks – a few clouds in the sky. Get up, keep pushing forwards and move towards your dreams.

7. A failure is sometimes a blessing in disguise. Not getting what you want can sometimes be a stroke of luck. It makes you reconsider and try some different things. And these can often lead to better opportunities.

8. You have the power to determine your own happiness. You can hold onto the pain and the failures of the past, or you can choose to let them go and fix your eyes on what’s ahead. It’s up to you to choose what will become your destiny.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“You were never created to feel depressed, unwanted, alone or ashamed. You were created to love and to be loved, and to feel that you are worthy and are valuable.”

— onlinecounsellingcollege.com

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“At some point you just have to let go, and move on. Because no matter how painful it is, it’s the only way we grow.”

— Meredith Grey

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Help with learning to love yourself

1. Learn to let go of what happened in the past. You deserve a new start and a fresh beginning. We’ve all messed up and experienced bad things. So don’t allow these memories to rob you of your future. You’re not just a product and a victim of your past. Acknowledge and work through any negative emotions – then put them behind you and start to live again.

2. Work on forgiving yourself. Don’t punish yourself for your past failings or regrets. Instead, see them as a lesson, and a chance to learn and grow. Don’t ridicule, demean or devalue yourself. That was then – this is now … You are different - so move on.

3. Keep a journal where you write down all your thoughts and feelings. When you’re feeling positive, try to savour those emotions and a build a memory trace of all that’s good and positive. When you’re feeling negative try to show some self-compassion, and seek to be gentle and kind to yourself. You need to work on validating and affirming yourself – not being your own enemy and tearing yourself down.

4. Be persistent as you work on accepting yourself. A key part of love is unconditional acceptance. So work on loving who you are right now. Only then will you be able to change some parts of yourself – because you’re able to accept who you are at the core.

5. Trust yourself. You don’t have to please others, or to follow their dictates. Learn to trust your intuition and your own personal judgments.

6. Practice saying “no”. It’s okay to say “no” without feeling guilty. You have the right to decide what you’ll do with your life.

7. Practice receiving and accepting love from others. Know you’re worthy of love – and other people really mean it when they say that you matter, and they love and care for you.

[apexinalex]

I fucking needed this. Thank you Tumblr blogger.

[mostlyfiction]

[theclassyissue]

[wadewilson-24]