COLD WATER

"Optimist? Amy, I killed myself." ( Independent Kieren Walker from the BBC3 Programme In the Flesh. Established Aug '14. )

[aphasiic]

presidentviktorpetrov:

“Not a problem,” he replied, a warm smile gracing his lips, trying to appear as accommodating as he could. Viktor made sure not to say much either, knowing that might seem annoying. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here, so he wanted it too seem like this would be an effortless case to get through and that it would take hardly any time at all. He blinked when he heard the name of his game, which still somehow managed to cause the slightest bit of unease in him. He’s a little taken back that the other man wanted to hear about his game. “It’s about the world after nuclear war,” he began, not wanting to explain too much in case the man thought it was too grim.

it was strange. he didn’t get very many clients willing to smile at him. he was normally a gatekeeper, someone that could potentially end a dream that had been handcrafted and moulded for years, all gone in a single red stamp. nevertheless, he appreciated it for the moment he was allowed. he didn’t smile much, truthfully, any more. and yet, as he had been lost in contemplation, two words in a miniscule sentence made him halt. “Nuclear --” he stuttered, looking up with wide eyes that he couldn’t control. “I... I see. What... what made you --” he cleared his throat. “What made you work on such a topic?”

[aphasiic]

reportiings:

      Piper had her doubts about the intelligence of feral ghouls, but she       kept them to herself. She didn’t have the power to speak to them, so       maybe her opinion wasn’t quite so relevant. Desperate not to get       ahead of herself, she took a moment to absorb the information, a       thin smile tugging at her lips. She had never met someone who was       – - and also somehow wasn’t a ghoul; it would make for an interesting      story. ‘Lost Reporter Saved by Resident Ghoul Whisperer’ did have a      nice ring to it.       “Sounds like you’re pretty lucky,” she murmured. “I mean, maybe not on       the…kind of a ghoul part, but I’ve never seen anything like that before. Wish       I could talk to them, it’d make traveling around here a hell of a lot simpler.”       She paused for a moment, glancing at Kieren with a thoughtful air. “Thanks       for uh – not being scared of me, too. Some folks, they run when they realize       who I am. Doing what I do kinda develops a reputation.”

          Kieren watched the sky every so often, checking for signs of the           oncoming storm. when he was satisfied that they didn’t have to            move at a breakneck pace, he turned to look at her again. she           didn’t seem like much of a danger. he had to assess everyone,           whether he liked it or not. he didn’t mind answering questions.

          “Well, when you’ve been living a way for almost three hundred           years, you get used to living a certain way -- lucky or not,” he            said with a small chuckle. “I think the reason why people are so           scared of you is the fact that everyone has secrets, and after            the war, those secrets became increasingly dangerous. People           like to protect their image, even if it means harming others. It’s           toxic, but -- it’s the way things are. People like you have to help,           right? It’s what you do.” his voice was firm, but still soft. “Me? I           don’t have anything to hide, any more. Secrets aren’t worth much.”

[aphasiic]

betterhealing:

Running again.

There lingered an ache that Arcade couldn’t explain, a hollow feeling lodged within the pit of his chest. When could they catch a break? Was such a thing even remotely possible? Would the Enclave Remnants continue to be persecuted when all that they - well, the most of them - wanted to do was live their lives in relative peace?

How many more would they have to lose? None of the others were getting any younger… would they continue to be expected to keep running even after they were old and should be allowed their rest?

Tired. Arcade finally straightened up a bit, using that moment to stretch before his nails scraped idly across the back of his neck. Sharp eyes flicked, glanced towards the makeshift encampment that was only rapidly finding itself disassembled, before the old ghoul’s voice tangled his attention away and over towards him. “It’s going. As many times as we’ve had to do this it’s pretty much second nature by now.”

Everyone knew their place. Everyone knew what to do. “Came to see us off?”

He’d forgotten how long he’d spent skirting the enclave remnants, helping them with whatever he could spare. He’d made acquaintances, and, in Arcade, he’d like to say, a true friend. he’d be lying if he said that didn’t worry him, somewhere in the pit of his stomach. Nevertheless, he slid off of the rock, losing him the artificial height advantage he’d had over Arcade, now tilting his head slightly up.

“I know how it feels,” he murmured. “It just starts to be routine, like -- well, breathing, in your case,” the man said softly, white eyes turning to look at the other’s face with a gentle sort of gaze; it was friendly, calm.

“I packed some extra food into their bags, and there’s some purified water in one of the big cases. I don’t know how far you’re going, this time.” Kieren took the moment to watch the process again before speaking. 

“It’s going to be strange not having you around.”

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[aphasiic]

reportiings:

      “So you’ve heard all about Diamond City’s nosy reporter, right?” It was       clear her words were meant as a joke, but there was no mistaking the       underlying bitterness to her tone. Piper was proud of her business, of       the good she’d done for her home. But, it hadn’t earned her any friends.       Blue was the first person in a long, long while to treat Piper as       something more than a snoop.       With a brisk shake of her head, she fought off the jaded thoughts that       clung like cobwebs to her mind. Piper had made her decision years ago;       the paper was what mattered — - the TRUTH was what mattered. “Can’t       blame ‘ya if the trip takes a little while. It’ll give you plenty of time to tell       me how you can talk to those ghouls. Think other people could use that       trick? God knows it’d make people’s lives easier.”

             “Isn’t the whole point of a reporter to be nosy? If they weren’t, we               wouldn’t have any stories. At least, not any that weren’t written by              a person giving only their side of the story,” he murmured, adjusting              his backpack. the lanky boy began walking, his gait just a small bit              odd. nevertheless, he spoke as he ambled, slender fingers moving              with the rhythm of his words. his feet crunched old twigs and stones.

                                  “Haven’t met anyone else who could. I don’t really know                                   how it works, either. I think... I think it might be because                                   of what I am. I’m not a ghoul, I don’t think. Not exactly.                                   But -- I’m like them. Maybe they know that. They’re a lot                                   smarter than people like to give them credit for.”

[aphasiic]

@betterhealing

           Kieren watched as the remnants packed their things            and began to move. he was perched on a stone, its            surface baked by the hard sun. nevertheless, his skin            stayed cool, a body frozen in time, literally and in figure.            he turned to look back at the camp, white eyes following            tired bodies before he took a deep and useless breath.

                              “How’s the packing going, Arcade?”

[cailans]

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[aphasiic]

rickmacyrevived:

             “Like what?” 

Ren was right. They shouldn’t. But Rick was tired. So fucking tired. 

            “Like what we ARE? I can’t do it anymore, Ren.             I can’t hide and lie every second of every day–             even if that means survival. I’d rather die as meself             than as a bloody coward. Not a second time.”

            he stared at the opening of the cave, teeth pressed             down into his bottom lip. his eyes fell to his hand, all             deathly pale and veined. his words were tortured, soft.

                                  “We hid and we lied every day of our old lives.                                   It’s the same thing as back then, and it’s just as                                   necessary, even if -- even if we don’t want it.”

[aphasiic]

rickmacyrevived:

            Kieren didn’t specify who he was, but there was             no need– because not even, and maybe now             especially, in death could either of them avoid the              wrath of Bill Macy. All the same, Rick tried, as             he always had, to pretend it was okay. It would             all be okay. “ ‘Course I am. Told ‘im I was going to             the next town over ta see an old army buddy of             mine.” There was so much fear in Ren, he could see             it and it broke his rotting heart. But this had always             been their life together, hadn’t it? God, he hoped that             would change. But for now, it was enough to force the             smile. “So that means I’m all yers today!”

           no matter what the provision was, it never seemed like            enough. nevertheless, he didn’t mention it. it’d been said            too many times before. he looked at Rick for a moment,            tracing the plastered smile with once brown, doe eyes.             they were sad. he stood there for a few seconds before            giving back the same smile, pulled up on hooks. “Mum             bought me some new paints. You wanna -- see what I’ve             got done so far?” he hated that they couldn’t smile any more.

[aphasiic]

@rickmacyrevived

              “We shouldn’t be out here like ----------------                                                like THIS.”

[aphasiic]

rickmacyrevived:

              “Eh, yer still the same ol’ Ren with or               without it. Unless ye want to go out,               there’s no need gussyin’ up on my             account.” It was disconcerting, seeing               his oldest friend looking, well, dead,               but Rick tried to hid that feeling. He               knew the truth, course he did. Knew               what he was– what they both were.

             he was quiet for a time, hands clasped at hip               level, slender painter’s fingers wringing in and              out of themselves. “Surprised he let you come,”              he whispered, lifting his eyes up from the tiled              bathroom floor. he brought along such a weight              that it made a lump in his throat. “God, Rick, please              tell me you’re still being careful.” he choked out.

[aphasiic]

icedvigilance:

     “They’re not what?”

Dropped questions weren’t something she easily accepted, moving in a step closer to the undead man. This was between them now and her body language followed the changing in dynamic - gaze only briefly following the herd before returning to him. However well he might have handled them, he certainly didn’t look like any ghoul she had seen. She may not have been of this time for long, but she was pretty sure she’d got the gist of what a ghoul was.

     “What are you? Are you their…leader? A different version of them?

          – Why do they listen to you?”

Her interrogation tactics might have needed some touching up, but she wasn’t in the mood. There was never enough time to sit around working things thoroughly - every second counted here. She couldn’t stand to stay separated from her son for a second longer - but this had to come first.

                                                                                         “They’re not at fault.”

Kieren spoke softly, the resignation clear in his eyes. it had been centuries of protecting them, unflinching with threats on his life, with thanks, with everything in between. his knees were soaked with blood, his fingers held out with open palms. how could he ever explain to the many questions when he didn’t have the answers? he’d seen more than nearly everything in the wastes, save for the trees hanging bare on the land. 

                       “I don’t know. I think... they know I’m like                        them, but I’m not them. I don’t know, truly.                        I’ve been around for three hundred years,                        and I don’t have any answers, I just want to                        protect what little they have left -- it’s not a lot.”

[onandoften]

[aphasiic]

vaultfrozen:

     ‘ Yeah, alright, ’ she nods, glad that he’s feeling up to something like that. Of course, she’s likely to start worrying about Nick any moment now, as that’s just what she tends to do, but she’ll let herself bask in the warm feeling of this moment for a little while longer. At least until they make it out of the doors of the building. 

She gets to her feet, and waits to make sure he’s following along before she heads out. 

                   ‘ Do you have any idea where he’s supposed to be? ’

            “I think he said he’d be around the memory den,” he muttered softly, nodding for a moment before he adjusted the bag on his back. “I know I’ve said it before, but -- I really don’t like the place.” Kieren spoke quietly, looking a bit ashamed in his white doe eyes. “It gives me the creeps.” his final statement came with a sheepish little smile, still trying to communicate an ease to her. "I think that's why he always hangs around it. He likes to tease."

                               he followed along, looking out, as he always did.

[onandoften]

pixel of kieren and simon from In the flesh !!!! i watched this series recently and i’m still emotional ;____;

[aphasiic]

vaultfrozen:

She returns the hug gladly, giving him something of a squeeze before she pulls back to look at him. A hand remains on his shoulder, and there’s the warmest of all smiles upon her face for the time being. He looks better, she thinks, though she could very well just be imagining it because it’s what she hopes to be the truth– wouldn’t be the first time. 

The hand at his shoulder moves to brush back through his hair, then settles at his cheek briefly before she lets it drop, at which point she offers a small shake of the head. 

      ‘ Don’t you even mention it. We all need a break sometimes, right? –We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want, but I would like to make sure that you’re doing okay. So, if you do wanna talk, please know that I’m always willing to listen. ’

it was odd having such a close connection. he’d be lying if he said it didn’t worry him. nevertheless, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and let her run a hand through his hair. he was glad she never mentioned how cold he was -- it was a running theme for humans to be so surprised at the temperature of his pallid skin. nevertheless, he smiled again.

                   “Maybe some night I’ll tell you the whole story. It’s a bit long,” he murmured, nevertheless still looking calm. “We should probably try to find Nick -- make sure he’s alright, and ask him how he’s doing.”