eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

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@apixiehollowninja
eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore
Ngl this is kinda hilarious
Makes sense. I mean, a passenger of a cruise line isn't called a sailor, right? Astronaut literally means "star sailor."
OP how could you not include the first paragraph of the article
Huge oversight on my part you're absolutely right
Jesse. Jesse meth isn't the only thing we're cooking. Because today's video was sponsored by Hello Fresh.
It's actually a scam that fingering yourself doesn't feel anywhere near as good as when someone else does it to you
need him so deep in my guts its not even funny
i genuinely love riding him until my legs give out and he takes over to thrust fast and deeply into me, tightly grabbing onto my waist<33
Art by @dayrisfelix
I love it when men get all sweaty and insanely feral during sex. That's a hard-working man.
My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!
My hands:
important psa
Awh, I always thought they were so pretty and had no idea they could be harmful
Can someone transcribe this? The water is really loud.
“Hey everybody! Here we are in the southern Appalachian mountains. We have a pristine Montane stream ecosystem, as you can see all around us here. I thought I’d make an educational video this morning. It involves this practice right here [gestures to rock pile]. As our national parks and national forests fall victim to human pressure, more than ever, this is something we’re seeing more and more of. Hopefully we can make this video go viral. This stream, as you can see around us right here, is a breeding ground for North America’s largest salamander, the Eastern hellbender. They can get up to 2.5-3 feet long. It’s part of our natural heritage in the eastern United States. When people do this right here - what they consider to be art - they’re actually destroying the breeding ground for the Eastern hellbender salamander. The Eastern hellbender will use flat rocks such as these to make nesting sites in these streams. So here’s what I would like everybody to do. If you care about our Montane stream freshwater ecosystems like this one around us here, when you see something like this, this is what I recommend doing: [kicks down rock pile]. Take the rocks, throw them back into the stream. The Eastern hellbender utilizes rocks like this. It actually feels pretty good to do this! [walks to other pile] This is not actually art, okay? This is destruction of our freshwater ecosystems. So I would like to encourage everyone: when you see this [gestures to second rock pile], do this! [kicks pile] I’d like to return our streams to their natural state for the organisms that live here. Thanks, and have a good day.”
PSA from a forest ranger who is instructed to knock these down:
Not only are they harmful for river/stream habits, they can cause hikers to get lost! Cairns are meant to represent the correct path for a trail. We’ve had hikers get lost by following incorrect paths marked by cairns people set up “for fun/art.” Not only do we want hikers to get lost, we want them to stay on the correct path for erosion control and ecosystem protection. Cairn-building “for fun/art” has gained a lot of popularity in recent years, so we keep finding more and more to knock over.
If you want to set up a cairn “for fun/art,” do it in a dry, very rocky area. Don’t take rocks from rivers or streams! But when it’s a bedrock site and there’s lots of rocks sitting around? Sure, fine, whatever. But please please PLEASE knock them down after! Don’t be the reason we have to deploy Search & Rescue for a lost hiker!
we've done it again folks
They should invent a job that i actually want to do
im gonna be 50 on here still being like ive got a war in my mind i just ride
"pasta only fills you up with empty calories" have you considered that it also fills me with love
love and warmth and happiness and most importantly pasta
pasta rant. pasta fills you with strength and diet culture is based in junk science
I did sports in college and the day before every tournament we'd go to Olive garden and eat as much pasta as possible. carb loading.
and literally every year the freshmen were like "you want us to eat carbs? Bc this was peak diet culture days. And yeah bc carbs make you strong the next day. You can do high intensity anerobic exercise for a long ass time after eating carbs. it was like having pasta superpowers
We'd be bringing sugary drinks to competition to keep up the energy and getting burgers and milkshakes after to recover. And all that was healthy af
You need protein to repair damaged muscles, and fats to break down vitamins and give you energy so anything that tells you any of the macros are bad for you? It's eating disorder shit, macros are literally the 3 nutrients your body needs in large quantities to survive. and sugar? That's the shit you need when you need energy Right Now.
One of the most horrifying conversations that I've ever heard, was when my (then under ten) niece and nephew told my mum that pasta, potatoes and rice were all unhealthy foods and that she shouldn't be making them dinner with them. Because they were Bad For You.
Apparently the school they were in at the time had told them All About The Evils Of Carbs. And how they should be avoiding them all.
Carb loading has it's place definitely (I used to do it a lot pre-days where I knew I was going to be doing it a lot of heavy lifting for work). But honestly so does just eating carbs.
But we really need to get people to stop saying terrifying things like "pasta only fills you up with empty calories"
Because OP is right, it fills you with love and warmth (and most importantly pasta).
But it also fills you with energy. And, if you are still growing, it fuels your growth.
op's redemption arc was nice though
This was a nice progression of character development
"I don't talk like that in real life" stood out to me in this. Because I think a LOT of the people who get attacked for mean posts on the internet and are suddenly confused and defensive are probably pretty nice people irl. (Not everyone obviously, some people do truely suck but that's not the point I'm making)
The internet has fostered and developed a culture of "being needlessly mean is funny". No one is immune to it, even genuinely nice people. Unfortunately, the internet has also bred a culture of the "I was just trying to be funny!!!" defense instead of doing what this guy did and going "huh, maybe I was wrong if so many people are pissed".
Be like this guy, own up if/when you fall for the easy internet trap of "being mean for laughs" and try to see the world from someone else's perspective.
can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light