Spilling Words All Over The Page

"I played connect the dots with your beauty marks and ended up with picture perfect sheet music."--SF All Work is mine unless stated otherwise.

[apoetwhodies]

A Ballad for Sleep

Tonight, I sat alone and whispered to myself, “I had hoped you were okay; because when the chill set in, it would not turn my heart cold, and when the sheets wrapped around my neck, the asphyxiation would not suffocate my slipping thoughts, and when the gall of my churning belly burned through the linings of my organs and scorched my esophagus, the emptiness and scarring would not quiet my loving ballads— Those ballads not written and murmured in a state of agony, but in a heart wrenching depression, knowing that more than half of me has all but died.”

[apoetwhodies]

I always thought that when I died I'd see a bright light or my soul would float up to the ceiling. Turns out it's nothing more than the mundane existence I used to love.

[apoetwhodies]

“Fuck.” scrawled on the wall. Piles of dishes stacked high and tall. Messy bed, tattered room. An old sanctuary that reminded me of you.

[apoetwhodies]

"So shattered. Gives you a million pieces. A million sides. Anger? I haven’t seen him often, but he lurks at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and you have a million bottles collecting dust in boxes somewhere. Showing the anger, and the fucks you don’t give, your lack of care. You used to string them from your ceiling just to look at the bottom of the bottle from another angle. As if not giving a fuck and addiction were mistaken for some sort of trophy. Anger. It consumes an angry drunkard laying in his deathbed made out of his own puke."

apoetwhodies

[thirty-onedays]

1:00am

Show me you care. 

Love me, still. 

Watch me while I sleep. 

Listen to my ramblings in the early hours of the morning. 

Indulge in me when I indulge in you. 

I miss when you believed I was infallible.

And the day you learned I wasn’t-

But you seemed to love me any way.

Now it just doesn’t quite feel the same.  

[fyeahlastwords]

The sadness will last forever.

Suicide note of Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)

[larmoyante]

And all I loved, I loved alone.

Edgar Allan Poe (via helveticas)

[apoetwhodies]

I haven’t seen him often, but he lurks at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniel’s

And you have a million bottles collecting dust in basement boxes

Showing the anger, and the fucks you don't give, a lack of care

You used to string them from your ceiling just to look at the bottom from another angle.

Notches in the best of your addiction are mistaken for trophies.

Anger consumes the drunkard laying on the deathbed made of vomit.

[thirty-onedays]

Exchange

Some people say that in your first breath, you inhale your soul, and every exhalation after that, a small part of your soul escapes, until you have none left to breathe. As you know, I have given a lot of time, effort, emotion, and a big piece of my heart to you –– as well as every breath I’ve whispered into your ears or to tell you I love you. I have not lost those parts, nor have I died any bit from it. Life has been redefined and I’m shown the strangest of things. Love.

[apoetwhodies]

“Fuck.” scrawled on the wall. Piles of dishes stacked high and tall. Messy bed, tattered room. An old sanctuary that reminded me of you.

[apoetwhodies]

Tried to smash the whiskey bottle in your bed, but it was empty so I left instead.

[thirty-onedays]

My pulse is soft to the touch, but somehow, at the same time— expanding my stomach with each beat, throbbing my brains, vibrating my fingertips, concaving my chest, buckling my knees; and all at once it is the very thing keeping my precariously balanced life on the tightrope that is to be alive....

[apoetwhodies]

A Ballad for Sleep

Tonight, I sat alone and whispered to myself,

I had hoped you were okay

because when the chill set in, it would not turn my heart cold,

and when the sheets wrapped around my neck, the asphyxiation would not suffocate my slipping thoughts,

and when the gall of my churning belly burned through the linings of my organs and scorched my esophagus,

the emptiness and scarring would not quiet my ballad

These ballads not written but murmured in a state of agony, in a heart wrenching depression, knowing that more than half of me has all but died.”

[apoetwhodies]

Let's Just Pretend

I had a dream about you last night, just like every other night. My dreams do not rely on sleep to bring visions of you to my eyes, but this night I saw you for the very last time. We spent every day together for the rest of our lives. Life was brilliant light, shining on sun-kissed skin, grinning with a vibrant smile, and begging for more every day. We shared kisses and drinks, meals, and later a child; we created the world together. Kisses lost your toes to the dust, hugs buried wrinkles further into your skin and making love aged you ten years a minute. The greatest wish of a life with you and the greatest nightmare of losing you was a constant state of being; it was the life we lived. Stepping stones of a wonderful life composed your headstone, and I unknowingly and unwillingly etched each marking of your name into the dreaded stone. Soon enough, you ceased to exist, even in my mind. Each shade paler you grew, the world followed with you, until everything was a blurry, shriveled, grey storm. I hallucinated to bring you back, along with the color and warmth of the world. Falling asleep was easier when you were there, but I would always wake up to cold sheets and the knowledge that the body pillow in our bed was the only thing that had rested there in years. Somehow I managed to live with you, without you existing. Our son would look more and more like you every day, and always wonder where daddy went, but the only words I had left to say to him, was that it was all my fault. So, to every kiss, sip, touch, tickle, fancy, and touch that made you wither and fade, I'm so sorry. I love you more than ever, and I will pretend that you still love me too. Goodnight.

[apoetwhodies]

Remember When?

"I'm listening to Sha-na-na and thinking of you," he said. He continued," it's cute because they are sucj lover boy songs. We could be a cute 50's couple. I'd be the boy from the wrong side of the tracks and you'd be the beautiful little lady that falls in love with me and I love you back all the same. Basically it'd be like CryBaby, but in all honesty, no matter where we are, I love you and you love me. We'd fit perfectly together in any point in time."

[thirty-onedays]

Drew this for my Valentine.

<3

[thirty-onedays]

Those moments that I love you are long, some short, but true.

The moments where your lips meet mine to say hello as a well welcomed reunion-

As if they should have never parted ways.

In that night, they never did.

They moved together in syncopation, with speech and love between them,

Stuck...