we were born the mutants again with leafling.

lady. southern. all i want from this world is inspiration.

[bnmxfld]

“I have so much of you in my heart.”

— John Keats

[apollinairerave]

Today's the day a year ago he got arrested. And everything changed. Its so weird like I want to be able to talk to someone about it but then again I don't really. What is there to actually say? Its painful enough to think about, let alone have an actual conversation. I don't know. We're starting the season where everything went downhill. Leading to that fateful, horrible day in February. I don't want to go through these next few months. Then after February, it will have been a year. Its just not right. I don't know what to say except I don't want to live this life. (Not meaning I'm suicidal) I wish this was all a bad dream that could end and our lives could return to normal. 😭😭😭😭 I just can't take it sometimes.

Oh also it's World Mental Health Day so isn't that ironic. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[apollinairerave]

💔

[destroymylife]

[ojibwa]

the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.

[motivatedslacker]

A new challenger appears: the paralyzation of anxiety!

[apollinairerave]

Needed to see this today

[apollinairerave]

So true. Memories everywhere I turn

Last night I dreamed you were alive

I can't believe this is real. I miss my friend.

[apollinairerave]

You shouldn't actually be gone. You should be here.

This isn't fair

[jeffc3s]

[adeles]

#2020 mood

[apollinairerave]

Beyond true

[grievingyoung]

[apollinairerave]

I am really struggling today. I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about it obsessively. It feels as if Jaime's starting to accept this but I'm not even there yet.

[apollinairerave]

Don't really know how to feel, or what to do... It's like I want to look at something of yours. But what? I've been looking at pictures of you and Timberlynn but I don't know if I can keep doing that. I only have so many. I can't believe I don't have more than I do for all the times you were here. I have always been the type to want to "live in the moment" instead of documenting everything but this makes me want to have pictures and videos of everything. Life is so fragile and temporary. Everything can change in an instant and I've definitely learned that now... I feel I can't rely on my memories and just wish I had "proof" of everything. My head is a whirlwind and maybe these thoughts will slow down soon but at the same time I don't want to get over this because I'm afraid that's a step towards forgetting you. I can't believe we have the whole rest of our lives to spend without your beautiful friendship. It doesn't feel real. I still expect you to just come walking in the door at any moment... "Sup"

[apollinairerave]

I take a break from Tumblr for a while, come back, only to find they must have changed their policies because I now have a million flagged posts that are inappropriate apparently. Apparently pictures with any amount of skin showing is not allowed??

[heavensghost]

[apollinairerave]

OMG

Totally mindfucked and it feels so good

[apollinairerave]

I feel like I got totally mind***d more in this last episode than the whole series...