applejack ana 🌟🪽❤️‍🩹 @applejackadjacent - Tumblr Blog

introduction ~

hello! missed tumblr lol. im 21y/o (almost 22) and going into my senior year of college. ive had @n@ 3 times (idk how the censoring works now lol), when i was 16, 19, and 20 - in order each time going 140 -> 95 (16 years old) then 150 -> 90 (19) then 175 -> 115 (20, after treatment made me gain wayyyy too much). unfortunately ive been struggling really bad with binging, so i need to lock back in

starting weight is around 150-160. i can’t check.

goal is 115. im starting reta next week lol

if anyone wants to help motivate, pls reach out ❤️❤️❤️

love u guys!

update: ate this morning ✌️✌️✌️💔💔🥀🥀🥀 it’s so joever. im gonna return to my highest weight again. i hate my life. i hate treatment for making me so heavy and for making my body feel okay at that weight. i hate that i ever chose treatment for myself. i hate this shit

but on a more positive note: made $350 yesterday lol

all i can think about is my little pony

angelswanwl

When life gets so bad you start tumblr page again

goodnightngo05

i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge i will not binge

xoxoskeleton1

if you struggle with snacking, food noise, eating up your budget too early in the day, and/or find it hard to eat under your limit, i REALLY recommend basing your cal budgets on each MEAL instead of each day!

i have individual allowances for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, instead of each day. it helps so much to space everything out, and food noise goes away so much easier when you know exactly how long you need to wait.

also, if you eat just a little bit below the limit for each meal, it will help so much! the skipped numbers really add up!

l3m0nh34dz

MY WHYS

every time i have a breakdown trying to choose an outfit, and on that note, every time i get mogged by a girl who looks cute just bc she’s skinny

rush is in under two months and i will not be fat because even just at orientation, i felt so uncomfortable around the pretty social girls just because of my weight especially since everybody was in the tiniest clothes on earth

the last girl my boyfriend talked to/kinda was with before we got tg was so skinny and confirmed had an ed as well but like.. successfully. and she was actually so gorgeous manic pixie dream girl but was also evil and i know he chose me but i also know she is so much prettier than i am and it drives me insane knowing he saw her and kissed her and looked at her and touched her and i actually can’t think about it because it makes me want to throw up. ON THAT BY THE WAY, I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE WE GOT TOGETHER. AND I WAS HIS BEST FRIEND WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO HER AND DEALING WITH HER CONSTANT BS THAT HE KEPT FALLING FOR AND I HAD TO HEAR ABOUT HER ALL. THE TIME. gmfu.

back to fitting in, i’m lowkey just terrified to go off to college and i think my life will be so much better and i will be so much happier and more confident if im not a fat chud

being able to post cute with my friends and not be the slightly bigger friend in most groups

i need to make the evil people from my past jealous. all of them just need to see me be gorgeous and carefree and winning

i’m just so tired of having curved lines like i need sharper lines sharper jawline sharper shoulders hips knees wrists all of it i just need to be sharper and more streamlined

no more chunky legs idgaf ab thick thighs save lives why do i actually have thick knees its evil its so bad i hate it

MINI SHORTS 😛😛😛

being able to be weird and people think it’s cute and funny instead of chud behavior

eliminating chances of guys making fun of me in their groups or messing with me (lwk has never happened to me but i’m so scared imma get played bc im chopped and don’t know it)

my evil ex from over two years ago’s girlfriend is lwk chopped but rly skinny so she’s like ugly but it’s allowed cuz she’s skinny so i need to mog her body as well

hauntedbylavender

Everything changes when you realize your insatiable internal hunger isn't for food, but instead for success.

survkay

When you start associating hunger with success is when you really make progress

l3m0nh34dz

my fav thing ab not eating is dreaming about food waking up with a sense of dread and regret bc i ate in my dream and then realizing im actually perfectly fine and i imagined it all and am still getting skinnier

rosees3ray

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

july29

today’s progress ~

did binge at breakfast. not proud. but these past few days have been ALL DAY binges - so today was progress

didn’t eat all mid-day, so thank god today was a 2 meal (albeit 2 huge meals) day. slowly trying to improve here.

we had group dinner, and i ate a lot + dessert, BUT didn’t binge afterwords. huge progress.

waking up early tomorrow. hoping to make it a FULL FASTING (!!!) day!!! pray for me y’all :( it’s been rough

🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡

so excited to lose this weight during sweater weather when i can hide all this horrible weight. i hate this. so sad.

how do u guys hold urself accountable … to yourself ?

i keep breaking my own promises. im gonna fast tomorrow - i immediately break it. i need to get 10k steps - immediately break it. it’s like im rebelling against myself. this level of self hatred has gone so far. i don’t know what to do. any advice helps :(

straight up larping w this account rn. but repeated exposure of stuff makes u engage in the activities / actions, so lowkey it works lol. in like 1 week fasting gonna feel effortless (praying. this weight on my body is so disgusting i can’t even go outside)

so stressed abt money it makes me fat 🫩 does anyone relate to this lmfao or am i just using another excuse