Appreciating the unknown

[appreciatingtheunknown]

Instant connections

Have you ever met a complete stranger, and instantly been able to comfortably converse and connect with them? No awkwardness, no small talk, just instant intellectual conversation. This instant connection is an infrequent occurrence for me, a basis in which I form most friendships and relationships with people. It’s almost a sign from the universe that you were meant to meet that person. If you are unfamiliar what I mean by this instant connection, I mean that spontaneous and quick connection you feel to someone who was just a stranger and you become friends or acquaintances in a short period of time.

I have two theories as to why these occurrences exist between people. The first being the detection of similar interests and experiences, making it easier for you to relate to that person, subsequently making it easier for you to converse with that individual. This theory has been backed by Dr. Rick Kirschner in his book ‘How to click with people’ (Hyperion, 2011), where he states that what makes people click is a combination of personal characteristics and interpersonal resonance based on patterns of similarity. I think that this is an interesting theory to these connections, as it is a reasonable explanation. As similar interests are a good basis to build a relationship with someone. Dr. Kirschner also goes on to say “No doubt, the chemistry of some connections is hormonal”. Which again is another good point, as there have been findings that women who spend extensive amounts of time around each other, become in sync with their menstruation cycles. So what’s to say that hormones aren’t also the result of this chemistry between strangers.

The second theory, being that I had crossed paths with that individual in a past life and being a believer of Buddhist beliefs on rebirth. I believe that our soul is what makes up who we are, and that are bodies are just a change of clothes when we enter a new life. I believe that my soul has experienced several lives, and that these instant connection encounters are reminders of my past lives and that we have crossed paths before. Have you ever visited some where for the first time and experienced de ja vu, as if you have been to that place before? I put both these encounters and experiences down as evidence that rebirth does exist, and people’s souls experience several lives, some more than others. For all you know, you could be sat next to the soul of whom was Winston Churchill or Albert Einstein.

[appreciatingtheunknown]

How I ‘escape reality’

You may be thinking what an earth I mean by escaping reality. I mean taking a break from everyday stresses and situations, some examples of this are getting away from people and into the countryside on my bike, sitting alone with a good cup of earl grey (because let’s face it, tea solves everything!!), taking a train journey to anywhere, or exploring an entirely different country.

Escaping reality is a regular occurrence for me lately, I even find some escape by simply going back to my hometown to my home comforts. Anxiety has been an increasing struggle for me over these past few years. So, I have had to find these coping mechanisms which I have named ‘escaping from reality’. Solo travel I have found by far the most effective method. But for obvious reasons I cannot always choose this option due to my financial situation as a student. Some people see my coping mechanisms as running away, but sometimes that space, that escape is all I need. Appreciating your own company is a great thing to achieve. Only you know how you feel, so what better than your own company to help you calm down.

Solo travel is something my family has always been sceptical of, as a young independent woman. But one advantage to anxiety is vigilance, I am always self-aware in an unfamiliar place. Which also helps be soak up everything I am seeing and experiencing. My first solo trip was to Paris at the start of May this year, after a gruelling two-year long relationship where I was very much very dependent on my other half. I finally felt a sense of freedom and independence, so decided to take a short trip to Paris. Where I stayed in a lovely hostel, proximity to the Eiffel Tower. At first, I was a little frightened of staying in a hostel for the first time but as a solo traveller its probably the best thing you can do. Everyone was so warm and welcoming, I met some amazing souls and any ounce of anxiety was put behind me. I felt that rare connection that I rarely ever experience with people, but because they were there at the same time, in the place there were of course similar interests and reasons. That trip was a big eye opener to the world for me and Paris has become a big love of mine.

Another effective escape for me is travelling on trains, to me trains are the most relaxing mode of comfort. Usually everyone is in their own little bubble and you can hear yourself think. Also, trains tend to run through the more rural parts of the country, so it tends to be quite scenic. Which again, is another reason it’s a great escape because you are away from the hustle and bustle of a city or town. On a train, I can reflect and think about things, it’s also one place I actually enjoy reading and top up my knowledge.

Escaping reality may not be the ultimate fix to my anxiety but it helps. I can be one with myself, put my stress and panic behind me and sometimes even think up my greatest ideas.