AQ POLICE

🚨TO PROTECT AND SERVE🚨 Our mission is to ensure the safety and livelihood of all citizens within the ArtificialQueens Community

[artificialqueens]

Okay so this is kinda out there but the idea amuses me. I would like if allowed and someone is willing for someone to write the Cookie Monster (any queen or actual monster) x Vanjie fic we don’t need but deserve anyway. Could be a Halloween thing if it makes it less creepy. Please and thank you.

[aqpolice]

*shuffles feet uncomfortably*

Well I... you see...

*sigh*

Look, I’m sorry, but we’re gonna have to take you downtown. But don’t worry, we have a special place for you to spend some time. There are some very nice doctors there, and a big comfy jacket just for you. Shhhhhhh it’s gonna be okay anon.

[artificialqueens]

Stop writing Branjie, Vanessa and Brooklyn have made it very clear they don't like the shipping anymore and they are just friends. You're being disrespectful, you can't call yourself fans.

Hey anon! Thanks for this advice. You seem really fun and chill. HOWEVER, neither Brooke nor Vanessa have said anything against fanfic. What they have said is that they don’t want people harassing them with inappropriately shippy comments on their social media - specifically, Twitter and Instagram, or tagging them in things about how they need to get (back) together. This is entirely fair, and should probably apply to like…all humans.

As far as I’m aware, NO queen has said that they are against fanfic. A lot of them encourage it (explicitly or implicitly). If anyone does say that, and you have proof, let us know and we can revisit this conversation.

What none of them like is when people force it upon them, like the person who read Trixya smut out loud at the UNHhhh panel a few years ago despite being asked repeatedly to stop. (They were NOT THE AUTHOR, btw.) This would also apply to sending them unsolicited links to stories.

Additionally, every single fic on AQ is tagged as “rpdr fanfiction” - which makes it EXCEEDINGLY easy to blacklist if you don’t want to see it. So feel free to do that.

Namaste.

[aqpolice]

Afternoon anon,

I’m issuing you a citation for disorderly conduct and clogging up our non-emergency hotline with self-righteous accusations.

Please note that fanfic writers hide in the dark and keep to themselves. There is no disturbance of peace, there are no violations of the law. If you’re looking for suspects who continue to harrass said queens on social media, you won’t find them here.

Keep it movin, nothing to see here.

-The Chief

*sips coffee*

[artificialqueens]

Aftenoon, folks. I’m here to report that in accordance with code 34.2 of our artificial bylaws, there will be no required format for tags and disclaimers regarding “alternate universe” and “canon-compliant” works of fiction here in our community. Those specifications will be left to the discretion of the person responsible for such submissions. If you have any further questions you may contact our non-emergency department. Thank you for your time, stay safe out there. -The Chief

I literally just said that, Chief. 😂

[aqpolice]

[aqpolice]

*repeats positive affirmations in the mirror, lip quivering*

[artificialqueens]

everyone can stop writing, n19f is the best fic ever in existence. everyone else can leave x

Once, someone told my mom “wow, you are so much prettier than your sisters.” Guess what my mom did not feel? Flattered. Or happy.

Do better, anon.

[aqpolice]

Issuing a citation for a lack of ethics.

*brushes donut crumbs off shirt*

Have a nice day.

[aqpolice]

acab

@artificialcitrus did you ghostwrite this?

Can’t we all just get along?

*sighs, paints over graffiti*

[artificialqueens]

No.

[aqpolice]

All right, all right—let’s go, hands behind your back.

You’re under arrest for malicious intent.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you.

Let it be known that this kind of behavior will never be acceptable here in our community. You picked the wrong blog, anon- there’s a new sheriff in town.

-The Chief

*pushes anon into the back of the car, slams the door*

[artificialqueens]

sometime last week i stumbled on here (i was the anon if you remember lol) on accident and i have came back everyday reading the fics and searching some of these people up since i was (and kinda still am) clueless about who they were. after binge watching some of drag race i have fallen in love even more with this blog and i am just amazed by how talented y’all are.

You are honestly the all star mvp anon of all time! We are so happy you’re here...😘💖

[aqpolice]

We’re happy you’re here, anon. Please swing by the station whenever you feel like it, I’ve got a cup of coffee and a donut with your name on it.

-The Chief

*tips hat, winks*

[aqpolice]

So is Veronica going to jail or not?

Ms. Sanders has been released from our custoday. All further questions regarding her pending investigation should be directed to her attorney @mock-star-aq

*adjusts sunglasses and sniffs, dead inside*

-The Chief

[4damien]

Anyone can help!

(Real pen the last picture)

It is important for EVERYONE to know how to help ANYONE. Not everyone can give them selves their medicine under every circumstance. Be educated, help out.

In the last year, i have gotten about five new violent allergies from foods i used to be able to eat. Next time i eat a fruit, my throat could close. I may not be able to inject myself. My boyfriend and i played with my trainer pen for like 30 minutes. He knows how to inject it. I know how. This is important.

[freshest-tittymilk]

Blue to the sky

Orange to the thigh

[boatsxheauxs]

BOOST

[sky-bound-wayfarer-deactivated2]

B

O

O

S

T

[novadust86]

this is something they should teach everyone in school IMO. till then please everyone reblog this. in extreme cases, the time needed to read the instructions can be fatal. please know this just in case 

[dont-wave-at-me]

@persassy-basson @samirah-the-valkyrie @hera-queen-of-the-gods @i-like-ice-sculptures @i-gotta-trident @godess-of-fireplaces @goddess-of-youthfulness @queen0ftheunderworld @queen-of-saltiness

[goddess-of-youthfulness]

((I know how to use this cause I have one irl

@pippip-cheerio @smartest-of-them-all @collector-of-lost-souls @everyone else

I’m to tired to function atm

[s-n-arly]

Important for everyone to know.

[artificialqueens]

id give my first child and/or immortal soul to anyone who writes that youtuber v/sugar baby b prompt from yesterday

We might need to start an orphanage for all these firstborn children getting given away. (You know the writers will get bored of them and leave them at a bus stop once the novelty wears off.)

[aqpolice]

*lowers sunglasses*

[aqpolice]

*spills scalding hot coffee on lap, cries for twenty minutes*

[artificialqueens]

so basically, there are no actual guidelines for what gets posted here, and completely off topic asks that have nothing to do with fic or ships will be posted if you, the sole moderator, finds them funny? regardless of what the readers of this blog think? regardless of the alleged rules about which asks will be deleted?

Hey anon. In all seriousness, the only asks that will absolutely get deleted are hateful or totally unrelated to this blog/community. I honestly would prefer not to delete any asks.

Everything else is a judgement call.

The @aqpolice asks aren’t just random and funny. They are also a direct response to a real hate blog that someone is shoving down our throats. So that’s why it’s relevant. AND it’s funny and lighthearted and yes, that is my judgement, but that’s also literally my job as admin - to make those judgments. You’re allowed to disagree.

If you have real suggestions for clearer guidelines, by all means send them in. Or you want to volunteer to help admin, please free free to dm me @veronicasanders

[aqpolice]

*readjusts badge*

Eeeeeyup.

[artificialqueens]

do something about branjie on the tour bus trying to be sneaky

You forgot “please.”

[aqpolice]

Issuing a citation for lack of manners.

*tips hat*

Have a nice day.

[aqpolice]

*parks outside @artificialconfessions , sips coffee*

[aqpolice]

I'd like to extend my services pro bono in the defence of Ms Veronica Sanders, hensforth known as "Ms Sanders". *extends hand* Mock-Star, coming up on 7 years of Mock Trial experience, 7 years of pre-law experience, and a background knowledge of law greater than the average AQ patron. At this time, my client will not be talking to anyone unless I or my co-council are present, and I'll be in contact with opposing counsel and their honor to schedule a time for discovery.

*slams fists on interrogation table*

[aqpolice]

Where can I find this so called judge? It seems like this town only has a police department, which seems a bit odd, plus maybe y'all are corrupt. I will hide ms. Sanders in my custody until I am able to testify, with a lawyer present.

You can usually find a jugde in a courtroom.

*adjusts sunglasses*

In preventing a search by whatever action you choose to take, you will be charged with contempt of court arrest and also run the risk of being deemed as guilty by association.

It doesn’t have to be like this, let’s everybody just calm down.

While you may be right about there being some “dirty cops” in this world, I assure you that that’s not me. I’m an officer of intergrity, simply trying to serve justice where justice is deserved.

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

-The Chief