Used to write NejiTen & KuroFai. Now just a random art-ish blog.
Current OTPs: CablePool, Sterek, ShikaNeji, KuroFai
Actually an author, but don't ask how many Stereks I've read
new OTP to sit next to CablePool - MattFoggy ship deals with the fallout of identity porn, which is such a refreshing change compared to SpideyPool (in which the ID reveal comes in the last chapter and more often than not, there are few consequences and Wade just has to suck it up after being lied to and life goes on)
Was just watching the Marvel Rivals game trailer. Holy buttshot wade
there's also a 3D butt jiggle at 1:31 if you're watching it lol
outtake:
DP: Nate! NATE! LOOK! They made my ass shiny and jiggly!
Cable: They've... sure put a lot of shine on it. (looks at DP's actual butt) But I think you look better in person
DP: EEEEEE you love me!
Cable: I never said I didn't
DP: "Butt Confessions" should be our new fanfic title.
sheriff: son i need your help building this boat
stiles: uhhh how big are you making this boat
sheriff: big
stiles: (on the computer) i don't think we can carry all that lumber all at once, why don't i call some friends
sheriff: your friends from school?
stiles: yeah... they are ... very strong...
sheriff: your friends are kind of small, are you sure?
stiles: look! a bird!
sheriff: what bird... how did they already move all that wood???
stiles: so my dad says there's gonna be a flood and he's trying to move the entire town onto his boat
stiles: please don't eat the people
derek: what do you think we are? wild animals?
here's your friendly reminder to tell your favorite authors how much you appreciate the work they've put into their fics. Posting fanfiction can feel a lot like shouting into a void. If you want them to keep on writing, then make sure to give them motivation to write more!
If you need ideas on what to write in a comment, tell them:
how long you stayed up reading their fic even though it was your bedtime
your favorite scenes/ lines in the fic
how big your heart swelled when these characters kissed
how their writing made you feel
and for the love of all things good, please don't ask when the next update is
Spoilers for The Despicable Deadpool (vol #290, Duggan)
I've seen some Cablepool fics address cable's mortality/ wade's immortality... but like... imagine if, after there is no more nate in the timeline, technically it would be possible for wade to get himself another nate from an alternate universe, instead of sticking around with Stryfe. Hell, there's even a nate that hangs around until the heat death of the universe
[this is 1.9k of not-fic. the fic i would've written if i wanted to put effort into it]
I just read a fic in which the Sheriff is fairly badass and takes down an attacker with hand to hand combat... and am now wondering what that crackship would look like
Someone hires DP to take out the sheriff maybe?
Wade arrives in Beacon hills, the pack goes to investigate him (all wolves are KO'd by his terrible and overwhelming scent). Stiles and human ish friends take the lead in the investigation and find DP lurking around the police station
Wade concludes that the Sheriff is not someone he wants to kill. Sheriff is very wary and has heard vaguely of DP from NYC but now googles him and is even more wary
But DP doesn't have evidence tying murders back to himself
He has several weapons tho (and the pack totally side eyes him but he doesn't smell like wolfsbane so)
Wade doesn't intend to stay for long, but the sheriff corners him like "you have a lot of weapons on you, are they registered?"
wade starts to deflect with his wall of speech, but the sheriff has plenty of experience with Stiles' talking
Something something Wade offers to spar with the sheriff, practice hand to hand combat, no weapons
Sheriff is like.. that flexibility is insane. Wade decides that this really isn't a fair fight so he gives Sheriff some weapons and is like "go crazy, I bounce back!"
Sheriff does not like the thought of hurting wade on purpose, even if wade encourages it
Wade totally flirts with him. At this point Wade hasn't shown an inch of skin, but the sheriff decides that Wade doesn't mean any harm and so asks if he wants dinner.
Wade is like.. ok you probably don't make any money at all, let me buy you dinner.
Wade is Horrified at the food options in beacon hills. There is no mexican food !!!111!!1!1!
Wade is like "I don't think we can date, this is not a long term solution, I can't live here with no mexican food"
they eventually decide on a diner and wade gets a stack of pancakes. sheriff looks super sus when he orders a burger/steak, wade asks why
"my son has the entire town watching what I eat"
and Wade is like... scrutinizing the sheriff and nodding sagely. then he whispers to the sheriff that he'll sneak the guy some fried food, but only occasionally
He instantly wins points with the sheriff
Anyway, sheriff clocks wade as ex-military, sheriff says he used to be ex-military too. Wade tells him he was discharged dishonorably, but because he refuses to blindly follow orders
thus winning more points with the sheriff
Wade also goes on a tangent about Cable (LBR i'm not letting go of the cablepool. Comics!cable) ("If you see a big hunk o' man, 'bout this tall and this wide, with a big awesome gun, don't shoot him! He might be looking for me."
Sheriff frowns. "Is he threatening you?"
Wade is so touched, but no. "Aww! He's my boyfriend from the future. Don't ask. Might fuck up the timeline. But he bodyslides--by that I mean he teleports--and we totally have an open relationship because he can't be here all the time. I have needs!")
Anyway, they start eating and Wade finally pulls up his mask, and Sheriff doesn't do a double take but he def is caught off-guard by wade's face. esp the sores splitting open and healing in real time in front of him.
Wade catches him staring and is like.. sorry? Maybe I should've warned you
Sheriff shakes his head and goes back to eating, he's seen weirder stuff
Anyhow, they wrap up the meal and wade just throws handfuls of cash down (they smell like mexican food)
Sheriff side eyes him but isn't going to question where the money came from, but he does wonder about a person who spends money so carelessly
They're outside the diner when there are wolf howls, sheriff listens - and it doesn't sound like the regular howls, it sounds more threatening. He tells wade, "you should make your way to a hotel"
and wade is like "is something exciting going on?!"
something something wade ends up arriving at a fight scene in the forest covered in TP, streamers, a few rats on his head
and he witnesses the alpha pack totally owning the beacon hills pack
he's like... "Ok so who are the good guys here?" and goes on to answer his own question "Ok no wait those are kids, hands off the kids!"
and he single handedly takes down the alpha pack. guns don't work super well on the rest of their bodies, but taking them out through the eye holes gives him a lot more time to work with. And obviously he cuts them in half a la peter hale
sheriff later shows up and wade is like.. covered in blood but also various (healed) injuries. Sheriff is wary again
but the pack is like "he saved us"
wade gives sheriff a look and is all "did anyone train these kids before you sent them out to fight? Why are you even sending kids out to fight?!"
derek be all "I was training them!"
wade is like.. excuse moi? you suck at fighting
sheriff is like.. i got here as fast as I could but these kids have not been giving me up to date information. If it were up to me, they wouldn't be fighting at all
stiles and company: you know werewolves exist??
wade is like... ok sure you might be wolves, but you know you can take enemies out a lot more efficiently with a gun, even if you're a wolf, right?
Derek be like "we don't need guns!!!"
wade giving them a flat look... turns to look at sheriff...
sheriff negotiates things so wade sticks around to show these kids some pro moves, because seriously, if they're going to get into trouble anyway, the least he can arm them with is self defense skills
the next day wade does a training exercise with the pack and he takes derek down super easily, sheriff is standing around to keep an eye on them
wade skips straight to having the whole pack come at him, he makes sure to ID the humans first because no healing factor, and stiles is like "but I have magic"
wade takes down the wolves easily, then works out a trade with them - a talisman for magic protection in exchange for teaching these kids self defense (the talisman is actually for cable, he doesn't care about himself)
Sheriff sticks around for a bit of self defense lesson and is Suitably Impressed
And thus they have dinner again sometime
obviously wade also does all kinds of strange things that make the sheriff and pack scratch their heads, and every tuesday he hires a taco truck to drive up from san francisco so he can have Actual Mexican Food
it's a bit of a win-win - kids learn some actual fighting skills (including derek lol) and wade gets to feel good about himself because he's teaching kids to protect themselves
sheriff invites him over for dinner one day and cooks the only thing he knows how to (wade was bunking over in some empty shops at first, then a motel/apartment)
training kids takes A While because they also have school to go to in the day (wade bums around town, gets to know people, pokes around in the police station's cold cases, breaks into their evidence locker and looks at their confiscated weapons)
(by now the sheriff is like 'please put everything back where you found them')
(obviously the sheriff would be the daddy in this relationship even though wade is probs fairly old himself)
wade comes around more often to the sheriff's place and leaves a few frozen food wrappers around
he actually catches derek sneaking out of stiles' window a few times lol
(hmmmm i wonder how wade would react to steterek, he would probs warn peter off but...?)
Through all of this, wade probably hits on sheriff. and he and stiles get along very well with the pop culture references, although they both talk so much that i honestly don't know if they're going to listen to each other
(oh but one day cable visits and wade talks his ear off, and cable just replies like this is a normal thing. sheriff's eyebrows go up. he already knew that they were boyfriends, but it's still nice to see someone else treating wade well and like a person. beacon hills is good to wade after a period of adjusting, but the sheriff gets the idea that wade isn't super comfortable with his own looks
when he gets a moment alone with the sheriff, Cable is like.. thanks for being around for wade, i can't be here all the time because I'm needed in the future. sheriff is like.. what do you do in the future?
cable is all.. trying to prevent world collapse
and the sheriff is like... there's people like wade who kill bad guys vigilante style, and then there's a whole other level of killing because the entire world is at stake, a la cable
he's probably going to choose to turn a blind eye to these killings that are not in his town, otherwise it's going to get messy real fast
actually i think the sheriff would want to know how he can help prevent world destruction, but cable is like.. keep doing what you're doing now. and maybe less food waste, less pollution would help thanks
maybe wade and sheriff are sleeping together by this point? Maybe cable joins them for a threesome?
the bed is going to break if cable joins in. the bed gets very broken and stiles is like.. dad? why are you getting a new bed? why is your bed in pieces
sheriff: because there are some things even a telekinetic can't fix
cable: don't worry, i'm paying for the replacement
stiles very firmly does not want to know)
you know, at some point maybe wade moves into the stilinski residence "temporarily"
and with wade sticking around in BH, werewolves are like... honestly not quite as crazy to have around as some people might think
the pack gets better at fighting, wade is still weak against anything magical, and at some point TBH the pack gives him a magic talisman (the other one he already gave to cable) because BH is still a place being attacked by magical creatures
actually wade becomes an honorary member of the pack. i'm not sure how they deal with his scent though. but there are certain areas in the stilinski house that stiles wards off so derek's nose can have a break
also, because BH is still a small town, wade sometimes wanders away to have authentic mexican food not from a food truck. he probs also takes other jobs from elsewhere
and he's going to track down the person who wanted the sheriff dead, and end them because he can't be around all the time to keep an eye on the sheriff
if ellie is around in this world, he probably checks in with her, and maybe she comes to visit him in BH (or he goes back to the east coast to visit her)
maybe nate brings hope over too at some point or other, and suddenly there are like 3 kids in the stilinski household. they even take a picture with everyone in it!
cable probably smells like metal to the pack, but an odd kind of metal
ok that is it for now, we'll just say they all get to live happily ever after
Chapter 3 summary:
Wade tells Peter all about his threesome with Cable and Vanessa, including the "TK synchronized peen dance".
Peter finds himself unwillingly curious.
Cable demonstrates. (CableSpidey)
Chapter 4 summary:
Peter accidentally stumbles across Wade, Cable, and Vanessa on the streets of NYC. He (unwittingly) gets a recap of their sexy times last night, and (also unwittingly) witnesses Cable's TK shenanigans with Wade and Vanessa.
In public.
Cable extends the same offer to Peter.
smidge of identity porn + Wade/Nate/Nessa + Nate/Peter
It's interesting how fic can make or break a ship. For those of you who followed me for the SpideyPool and are wondering why this sharp left into OT4 land - I read a SpideyPool a couple weeks ago in which Peter treats Wade terribly and Wade just accepts that treatment, doesn't question it. There wasn't even any warning in the tags.
I walked right out of that ship.
Yeah, I know it isn't reflective of all SpideyPools. I've read about 3-400 of them. But at that point I lost a LOT of faith in fanfic, and went back to reading the DP comics.
I read Cable & Deadpool (2004), in which Cable goes out of his way to support and help Wade, even after they butted heads. In Despicable Deadpool (Duggan), Wade's trying to kill Cable because of plot reasons, and Cable is like, "Wade, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong so I can help you solve your problems."
So I kind of get it. In the SpideyPool ship, readers tend to identify more with Spidey, and Deadpool is the one doing the taking-care-of. In CablePool, Cable is the one taking care of Wade. (What little I've read of it, anyway)
I haven't returned entirely to SpideyPool - my compromise is the OT4, in which Wade gets a harem of people who love him. Cable from the comics because he's warmer and gentler there, Ness from movies because her movie version is more on Wade's wavelength. Spidey is an amalgam of various spideys from everywhere.
the best part about being able to write is that I don't have to wait for someone to write me fanfic, lol
Related to this post, in which Wade gets pregnant. But this happens either before, or is a different timeline
Warning for DP-history illness/violence mention + Pregnancy discussion
Vanessa: You seem really keen on being the one pregnant
Deadpool: Yeah. I mean, why the hell not? Equality for everyone!
Spidey: Wait. Actually... How long does it take for a normal person to recover from labor?
Cable: About 6-8 weeks
Spidey: 6-8 weeks!!
Vanessa: Huh. (to Wade) And if you were the one going through labor, you'd be all recovered the next day.
Deadpool: Yup!
Vanessa: Wow. That's almost unfair.
Deadpool: (fake hair flip) Yup! All you gotta do is catch some cancer, and almost die like 200 times.
Vanessa: I'm glad he's dead.
Cable: I'd go back in time to kill him for you, but...
Deadpool: But then the cancer would've gotten me.
(everyone falls silent. Vanessa hugs wade. spidey hugs him too. Then Cable hugs them all.)
Deadpool: Hey, I just got an idea.
Spidey: Why am I afraid to know what it is?
Deadpool: What if we ALL tried knocking each other up?
Spidey: WTF
Vanessa: Hell yeah! Equality!
Cable: (shrug)
Deadpool: Oooh! What if we all get pregnant at the same time?
Spidey: Oh hell no
Cable: Not advisable
Vanessa: (snicker)
Deadpool: (snort)
Vanessa: I'd pay to watch that movie
Deadpool: (high fives)
Spidey: What did I get myself into...
Cable: It's not going to happen
Deadpool: Don't jinx yourself, Priscilla.
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 3,300
Pairing: Deadpool/Vanessa Carlysle/Cable/Spider-Man, Deadpool/Vanessa/Cable, Cable/Spider-Man
Summary: Peter confronts Cable, Wade gets a new idea and texts Cable, and Cable and Peter stumble across something even more embarrassing.
Followed by CablePoolNess smut.
-
"Ness! NESS!!! I have another idea." Wade bounded into their bedroom with two little gadgets in his hands.
"Let me guess. Another roleplay?" Vanessa teased. "That last one was hot. You were hot."
"Me?" Wade pressed his hand to his chest and fluttered his lids. Always such an adorkable goofball. He climbed into the bed and pressed one of the image inducers into her hand. "This time, you roleplay as Spidey."
(OT4 warning - Deadpool/Spidey/Cable/Vanessa. This scene is mainly Spideypool + SpideyCablePool)
Spider-Man: Wade! Why are you showing me these images?!
Deadpool: Oh crap! No! Don't look! You weren't meant to see that!
Spider-Man: So when you said you wanted me...
Deadpool: I want you! Both of you! And Ness too. I just want all my favorite people. You know, in the sex way. And in the heart way. But I think only Ness wants me back, with this shar-pei face, so maybe you shouldn't be seeing this anyway.
Spider-Man: ...
Deadpool: Shh. Turn around and slowly walk away
Spider-Man: ...
Deadpool: Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.
Spider-Man: You are an idiot, Wade.
Deadpool: Shoo, shoo. Leave me alone in my brain pan of hopes and dreams. Cover your eyes! Don't look at the ones with you in them. Or, you know, look. If you want. If it turns you on, come back and tell me. Otherwise, leave my Big Puppy Feelings alone.
Spider-Man: Wade! Shut up for a minute!
Deadpool: You know I can't do that.
Spider-Man: Tell me why you want him.
Deadpool: Who?
Spider-Man: The guy in your dreams. Cable?
Deadpool: (gasp) You want to hear about his big muscles?
Spider-Man: (sigh) Tell me why you want him.
Deadpool: Aside from he's bigger than me, and definitely bigger than you? His thighs twice as big as mine? You said MY thighs are thick. Look at these pics! See how big HE is? Do you know how big his c*ck is?
Spider-Man: Um... Should you be telling me about his...?
Deadpool: He's such a daddy, Spidey. I like being a daddy, but sometimes I like being a boy too. Cable definitely gives off the daddy vibes. Big time. See him? See that stern face? He'd bend YOU over his lap and give you a good spanking. With his big hands. He'd redden your cheeks and--
Spider-Man: Oh god, WADE! I didn't ask for THAT much detail!
Deadpool: Well, forgive me if I dream about you and him sometimes. You're such a small spider next to him. Think about how much smaller your c-- Uh. Your... coccyx? Your cockatoo? Your--
Spider-Man: (red-faced under his mask) Stop. You're making it worse.
Deadpool: You'd like him. He's the heroic type. But his methods are... hmm. Like mine. Okay, maybe you might not fall in love with him immediately, but--
Spider-Man: We've met.
Deadpool: So you've seen his bulge!
Spider-Man: (facepalms) Just let me think about this for a second. Or a few days. Or a few weeks.
Deadpool: It's his bulge, isn't it?
Spider-Man: NO!
Deadpool: He's proportional. (cupping hand movements) Big heavy sack like Santa's--
Spider-Man: Oh god, stop!
Deadpool: I think one of his balls is metal.
Spider-Man: (groans)
Deadpool: Even if neither of you wants me, if you'd just give him a chance, I can die happy.
Spider-Man: You don't stay dead.
Deadpool: Ah well, such is life. And such is the state of my balls. Constantly blue. I should add a couple blue splotches to my suit. Really hammer in the point. But they should be velcro'd on so they don't ruin the serious look. But if you want to see my blue balls, Spidey, they're here, big and--
Spider-Man: And I'm gone. Goodbye!
Deadpool: (waves tissue) Bye Spidey! Think long and hard about our mutual friend! Big thighs! Big, heavy c--
Spider-Man: BYE!
Summary: In which Vanessa roleplays as Cable and pegs Wade, and Spidey accidentally witnesses this and can't look away.
-
"What do you want to do tonight?" Vanessa asked, propping her hip against the counter while Wade did the dishes.
Wade perked up. "Ooh! Ooh, I know! Let's revisit the superbaby strap-on idea, but this time, you roleplay as Cable."
Wade Wilson: I'm gonna go make dessert. You get the strap-on, and let's make a superbaby.
Vanessa: Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try.
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