chivalrous chives

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How to become a better liar

Listen more than you talk - Many of the best liars are better listeners than they are talkers and allow the person talking to "fill-in" any need gaps in the conversation, necessitating fewer lies being required.

Maintain eye contact- People are taught to believe that a liar won't make eye contact or will do so infrequently. Merely by looking people in the eye, many of the boldest lies are often told.

Remain calm - People are taught that liars will become upset, talkative or nervous. If you are none of the three and you remain calm, only people adept at lie detection will be able to detect deceit.

Maintain the same vocal tone - People are taught to detect falsehoods by changes in vocal timbre or tenor. Remaining in a normal speaking pattern will make people believe that you are being truthful.

Act serious - People are trained from youth to respect authority. The most deceitful person in the room can be the person who maintains the most serious demeanor because people equate seriousness with authority and authority with honesty.

Put a kernel of truth in your untrue statements - Most people will believe a lie that has a kernel of truth in it. If one part of a statement is true, most people will accept that the entire statement is probably true.

Throw in some jargon - If you sprinkle your speech with moments of jargon (even if incorrect) most people will assume that you know what you are talking about (even if you do not)

Ask questions - Most people don't think that liars are going to ask questions. They assume that liars will try to fill in the gaps and they are caught off guard when the liars actually question them.

Act tired - People will assume that deceit is actually someone being tired if they feign the act correctly. Most people are either tired themselves or will be able to empathize with how you are feeling.

Act irritated - People will often avoid irritated people or will only have short conversations with people that are acting irritated. Feigning irritation will shorten questioning and will actually make people accept statements that they normally would find to be suspicious.

I don't have an issues with listing any of the above as knowing how people lie will actually makes lie detection

easier

. Spotting the above behavior upon being confronted with it and following with detailed questioning will actually uncover a great deal more deceit than using traditional "lie detection" tools such as looking for lack of eye contact or shifting of position.

Source: Jon Mixon, Quora (http://www.quora.com/Lies-and-Lying/How-can-I-become-a-better-liar/answer/Jon-Mixon-1)

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Ray Bradbury's 7 Rules for Writers

1. Write with gusto. If there was one quality Bradbury prized above all others in a writer, it was gusto. And it was a quality that Bradbury had in spades. A writer might be a brilliant stylist, his plot might be complex, his subject matter intriguing — but if the writing lacks gusto, then by Bradbury’s standards, it’s not fully alive: “[If] you are writing without zest, without gusto, without love, without fun, you are only half a writer. It means you are so busy keeping your eye on the commercial market, or one ear peeled for the avant-garde coterie, that you are not being yourself. You don’t even know yourself. For the first thing a writer should be is — excited.”

2. In quickness is truth. Bradbury believed that when it comes to first drafts, don’t think, just write. Long before cognitive neuroscience proved him right, Bradbury understood the importance of short-circuiting one’s Inner Critic during the initial phase of creative work: “The faster you blurt, the more swiftly you write, the more honest you are. In hesitation is thought. In delay comes the effort for a style, instead of leaping upon truth which is the only style worth deadfalling and tiger-trapping.” Let speed (though perhaps not the chemical kind) be your friend. Just get it down. Fast. Even if it’s crap. Don’t worry, you can always invite your Inner Critic back to the party during the revision phase.

3.Write who you are. One of the most popular (and perhaps clichéd) pieces of advice to writers is “write what you know.” But if all writers rigidly followed that rule, it would limit them to the world of everyday experience (nor would there be such a thing as science fiction). For Bradbury, a writer should draw inspiration not only from the world he lives in, but from the world(s) he can imagine, as well as from his own personal interests and enthusiasms: “Do not, for the vanity of intellectual publications, turn away from what you are — the material within you that makes you individual, and therefore indispensable to others.” A book likeThe Martian Chronicles undoubtedly owes something to the world Bradbury grew up in — but it owes a great deal more to Bradbury’s unique alchemy of experience, imagination, and life-long passions. Or, to put it another way: who you are is what you know. So don’t be afraid to write that.

4. Don’t write for money or fame. Not that money and fame are bad in themselves. But for Bradbury, they shouldn’t be your primary reason for writing. Indeed, he cautions that the pursuit of these twin allures has undone many a talented writer: “If only we could remember that fame and money are gifts given us only after we have gifted the world with our best, our lonely, our individual truths.” External rewards are nice, but they must remain secondary to the internal rewards of the creative work itself.

5. Feed the muse daily. Some people find “the muse” to be an antiquated concept of artistic inspiration, but it was one that Bradbury took quite seriously. However, for Bradbury, the muse doesn’t simply offer up her services for free; instead, they must be purchased with daily, consistent effort. You must write daily, read daily, and train one’s creative muscles in much the same way as athletes train their physical muscles: “By living well, by observing as you live, by reading and observing as you read, you have fed your most original self. By training in writing, by repetitious exercise, imitation, good example, you have made a clean, well-lighted place to keep the Muse. You have given her, him, it, or whatever, room to turn around in. And through training, you have relaxed yourself enough not to stare discourteously when inspiration comes into the room” (p.45-46). A well-fed muse is a happy muse. A starved muse—well, she’ll just be pissed off, and most likely too tired to come to your rescue when you most need it.

6. Don’t be afraid to explore the attic. Bradbury — who had a life-long fascination with the subconscious — firmly believed that each of us has a “dark attic” inside our minds, one filled with secrets and terrors we’re often too scared to face. But according to Bradbury, this is precisely where a writer can find his most useful material. Our fears hold the key to our originality, and only by facing that “Thing at the top of the stairs” can we ever hope to create something authentic and new. Bradbury suggests coming up with a list of nouns to jump-start this process, writing them down stream-of-conscious style: “Conjure the nouns, alert the secret self, taste the darkness. Your own Thing stands waiting ‘way up there’ in the attic shadows. If you speak softly, and write any old word that wants to jump out of your nerves onto the page… Your Thing at the top of your stairs in your own private night… may well come down.”

7. Surprise yourself. Many books on writing advise you to plan every detail of your story in advance. But Bradbury believed it’s better to discover your story as you’re creating it and surprise yourself. “Dandelion Wine, like most of my books, was a surprise… I simply got out of bed each morning, walked to my desk, and put down any word or series of words that happened along in my head” (p. 85). Again, Bradbury places more faith in the subconscious than in conscious over-planning. Not that he doesn’t believe in plot. But for Bradbury, plot is secondary to, and determined by, character: “Plot is no more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations. Plot is observed after the fact, not before” (p. 139). In short: if you want to surprise your readers, perhaps you should first try to surprise yourself. Just follow the footprints — and see where they lead.

Bonus Rule: Do the work you were born to do — and no one else’s. Towards the end of Zen in the Art of Writing, Bradbury includes a series of poems about creativity. One of them is entitled, “What I Do Is Me, For That I Came.” In it, he writes:

Be not another. Be the self I signed you in your blood…

I leave you gifts of Fate most secret; find no other’s Fate,

For if you do, no grave is deep enough for your despair

No country far enough to hide your loss. 

A man of deep spiritual beliefs, Bradbury believed that each of us is sent here with a specific creative mandate. Our mission — if we’re up for it — is first to discover what that mandate is, then to fulfill it. To fulfill another person’s mandate — to live another person’s destiny — is not simply a mistake; for Bradbury, it is the definition of creative and spiritual purgatory. Instead, be who you are. Share your unique gifts with the world. And recognize that when you depart, there will never be another one like you.

Bradbury spent over 50 years living these beliefs. He wasn’t stingy with his gifts. He didn’t allow genres and labels and literary trends to put limits on his creativity. He did the work we was sent here to do. He fulfilled his creative mandate.

And as his fans know all too well, there will never be another one like him.

Source: David McMillan, Thought Catalog

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5 eye exercises to improve your vision

1.Blinking

Blinking is an often overlooked yet simple way to keep your eyes fresh and being able to focus longer. Computer users and television watchers tend to blink less, especially when they are intently focused on something. Try it just now as a simple exercise. For the next two minutes blink every 3 – 4 seconds. After you have done this for two minutes, mentally take note of how your eyes feel, are they strained, relaxed, tired. Now try and not blink for 30 seconds at a time for two minutes. Do you feel any difference?

Whenever you blink your eyes are going into a brief period of darkness which helps to keep your eyes fresh and discharges previous information ready for new information, this helps to reduce eye strain.

Your blink rate can also help with your communication skills. Think about someone who looked at you intently and you possibly felt threatened by them. What you may have missed is the fact that they had stopped blinking. When someone stops blinking and stares at you when you are talking it’s a sign of aggression. However whenever you are talking to someone and they are blinking at a 3 -4 second interval it’s a sign of a relaxed and friendly listener. Check out people’s blink rates the next time you are talking.

2. Palming

This is done to relieve stress around the eyes and as a way to relax your eyes whilst taking a computer break.

Instructions for palming

1. Take a few deep breathes before you begin.

2. Make yourself comfortable whilst leaning forward on a desk or with your elbows resting on your knees. Close your eyes.

3. Place your two hands over your eyes with the cup of your palm covering your eyes, your fingers on your forehead and the heel of your hand will rest on your cheekbone. Make sure you can blink freely and you are not putting too much pressure on your eyes.

That’s it. Palming gives you the opportunity to rest your mind and your eyes for a few minutes at a time. It may not sound much of an exercise but it can make a big difference in your working day if you stop for a few minutes and do this exercise.

3. Figure of eight

This is to exercise your eye muscles and increase their flexibility. This is quite a simple exercise but a good one.

Imagine a giant figure of eight in front of you about 10 feet in front of you. Now turn the 8 on it’s side. Now trace the figure of eight with your eyes, slowly. Do it one way for a few minutes and then do it the other way for a few minutes. It may seem very alien at first but it’s worth persevering with it.

4.Near and far focussing

This is one of my favourite exercises as you can do it almost anywhere, I say almost as I couldn’t imagine doing it on the underground without getting strange looks from those around me.

Instructions for Near and far focussing.

Sit in a comfortable position, or stand, this will only take 2-3 minutes at a time.

Put your thumb about 10 inches in front of you and focus on it.

Now focus on something else about 10 – 20 feet in front of you.

On each deep breath switch between focussing on your thumb and the 10-20 feet object in front of you.

This will strengthen the muscles in your eyes over time and improve your vision overall.

5. Zooming

This is another one of my favourites as it is very easy and quick to do.

Instructions for zooming

Sit in a comfortable position

Stretch out your arm with your thumb in the hitchhike position

Focus on your thumb as your arm is outstretched.

Now bring your thumb closer to you, focussing all the time, until your thumb is about 3 inches in front of your face.

Now move your thumb away again until your arm is fully outstretched.

Do this for a few minutes at a time throughout the day.

This exercise will strengthen your focussing skills and your eye muscles in general.

I hope this post has stimulated your interest in natural vision exercises and it leads you to research this subject more. I am by no means an expert on this subject so please do your own research. I can only tell you what works for me.

Source: Steven Aitchinson

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6 exercises you can do while studying

As collegiettes, we know the value of time. We’re all juggling different combinations of classes, extracurricular actives, internships and part-time jobs while attempting to maintain some semblance of a social life. When you finally have a moment to spare, climbing into bed is probably a lot more enticing than lacing up and heading out for a run. Luckily, there’s good news for all you multitasking, overachieving collegiettes out there: there are ways to break a sweat and build muscle while you catch up on your chem reading. With these six moves, you’ll be deskercising with the pros.

LOWER BODY

The Glute Squeeze

The glute squeeze is one of the most inconspicuous exercises, which means that you can do it pretty much anywhere—in your room while reading a textbook, in the library while going over flashcards or in the classroom while taking notes.

To do this exercise, mimic the squeezing motion shown in the image above while seated. Wherever you’re sitting, just squeeze your gluteal muscles as hard as you can and hold the contraction for 10 seconds. Relax briefly. Repeat 10 to 20 times to work on filling out your fave booty shorts while you go over your flashcards.

Chair Squat

Typing a paper but still trying to keep your legs and butt looking tight and lean? Try this chair squat move, which works all the major muscle groups in the lower body and, as a bonus, activates your core and raises your heart rate, helping you torch major calories during those all night essay-writing sessions.

While typing, stand in front of your desk with your feet flat on the floor. Keeping your back as straight as possible, press your weight into your heels and squat down until your butt hovers just above the seat of your chair. Hold for five to 10 seconds then sit back down. Repeat 10-20 times.

CORE & ABS

Abdominal Lift

Staring at your computer screen for hours might help you memorize the notes you took in class, but it’s not doing all that much for your abs. Try this difficult abdominal lift to strengthen and tone your core.

While seated, put your hands on the seat of your desk chair. If your chair has arms, you can place your hands on the arms for an easier variation. Keeping your knees bent, press your weight into your palms and lift your butt off the seat while keeping your arms straight. Lifting your knees as high as you can will help in toning your lower abs. Stay above the seat for a few seconds (up to 10) and then slowly sit back down. Repeat two to four times. Keep your eyes on your notes or textbook to keep this tough move study-friendly.

Oblique Swivel

Swiveling desk chairs are pretty cool not only because you can spin around in them when you’re bored, but also because they’re an amazing piece of workout equipment in disguise for those of us who like to get our sweat on outside the gym. Next time you’re just fooling around and spinning, open a textbook on your desk and get your study on with these controlled oblique swivels.

Sitting up straight with your back against the chair. Put your feet together and lift them off the floor as high as you can. Hold the edge of your desk tightly enough to stabilize yourself. Using your core (primarily your obliques), swivel from left to right as your read. Repeat 10 to 20 times.

UPPER BODY

Trapezius Squeeze

Summer might be leaving us, but tube top season will eventually return, and when it does, you’ll be ready! This simple move tones your upper back and stretches your chest—a must for those of us who spend a lot of our days hunched over textbooks and computers.

Sit upright with arms spread out to either side. Bend arms at 90 degrees so fingers are pointing forward. Pull your elbows back and pinch your shoulder blades together, pretending you’re trying to hold a pencil between them. Hold for five seconds, then release. Repeat 10-20 times. This move is perfect for flashcard users; instead of keeping your fingers pointing forward, pick up a flashcard with one hand and hold it in front of your face to read it. Squeeze while you try to figure out the answer and release once you flip over the card. Switch hands.

Water Bottle Bicep Curl

Slit-sleeve tops are all the rage this season, and the best accessory to the killer summer tan you’ll be showing off is toned arms. Use water bottles (or canned foods, or any other available weight you can grip in each hand) to work your biceps at your desk.

Sitting up straight, hold your weights at your sides, palms facing in and arms straight. With your elbows pressed to your side, raise your weights and rotate your forearms until your palms are facing your body. Slowly lower weights to original position and repeat for 10-20 repetitions. Make sure to keep your book open on your desk and flip pages in between reps.

  Being a busy collegiette doesn’t mean that your health has to suffer! By incorporating some of these deskercises into your routine, you’ll be keeping yourself fit—and maybe even giving yourself the energy to finish that chapter in your textbook. It’s a win-win!

Source: Lola Kolade, Her Campus

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10 one-minute time hacks that will make you more productive

You’re busy, and while reading about powerful time management techniques can be productive, many of the ones out there are simply too complex, complicated or involved to think about.

These 10 time hacks are as simple as they come. Every single thing in this list will take you less than one minute to implement into your life, but the results of each can be incredible. Here are 10 one-minute time hacks that will make you more productive.

Say “no” to three things

Here’s a challenge for you: this week say “no” to three commitments that might zap you of your energy, time, or motivation. One of the easiest ways to get more time, energy, and motivation is to say no to to pointless commitments that weigh you down.

Turn off all of your email alerts

New email alerts don’t cost you much time, but they cost you a ton of attention. Every time a new alert comes in, you look at it (just in case it happens to be important), and then you have to re-orient yourself to what you were trying to focus on before. In my opinion, they’re worth shutting off completely. Also, they don’t convey nearly enough information about the message you received to be overly useful.

While you’re in there tinkering with your email settings, I think it’s also useful to reduce the frequency of how often your mail client checks for new messages (plus, having your phone check for new email less often will save you battery life).

Start keeping a list of everything you’re waiting on

You likely already have a to-do list because if you didn’t, you would have a thousand commitments bouncing around in your head everyday. But it’s just as mentally taxing to keep track of everything you’re waiting for. When you maintain a list of everything you’re waiting for, you can make sure nothing slips through the cracks, and you can worry a lot less about the things you need to stay on top of.

Live by the two-minute rule

One of my favorite elements of David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” methodology is his two-minute rule. The rule is quite simple: the moment you realize you have to do something (like when you receive an email you have to action), if it will take less than two minutes, do it. If it will take more than two minutes, schedule completing it later.

In practice the rule works incredibly well, because it takes the thinking out of prioritizing tasks and picking which one to do. It’s very easy to lose a ton of time scheduling tasks, organizing your emails, and so on. When you just do something, you eliminate all of that cruft. As Allen put it in a recent interview with him, “it will take you longer to stack and track [some tasks] and remind yourself than if you finish it the first time it’s in your face”.

Make a list of three outcomes you want to get out of today

Not to-dos; outcomes. The “rule of 3″ is one of my favorite productivity rituals, and its power lies in its simplicity. Define three outcomes you want to make happen today. Not things you have to do; actual results you want to get done. Ask yourself, if it’s the end of the day, what three things do you want to have accomplished?

Start working on pomodoro time

The Pomodoro Technique is a simple time management technique that breaks your time down into chunks. For 25 minutes you turn off all possible distractions, and then work on only one thing for that time. After your first “pomodoro,” you take a five-minute break, then wash, rinse, and repeat two more times.

After that, you work for another 25 minutes and take a 15-minute (or longer) break. This technique reduces the ugly, ambiguous tasks on your to-do list down into something you do in a series of easy-to-manage, 25-minute chunks of time.

Find one activity that gives you more energy, and schedule doing it

This one seems almost too obvious to put on the list, but no one takes the time to do it. Are there certain people that provide you a ton of energy and motivation after you talk to them? Schedule a lunch with them. Are there certain things you do that give you a ton of energy, like hitting the gym before work, meditating, or spending time with your kids? Schedule time for that too.

Take more breaks 

It might sound counterintuitive, but taking more breaks is one of my favorite ways to become more productive. Breaks prevent you from becoming fatigued and tired, and they help you slow down, step back from your work, reflect, and come up with better ideas. I think even taking a one-minute break can have profound affects on your productivity.

Download RescueTime to track how you spend time on your computer 

RescueTime is a free utility (for Mac, PC, or Android) that tracks exactly how you spend time on your computer. You simply sign up for the service, download the app, set it, forget it, and at the end of every week the service will send you an email saying exactly how productive you were. You can then log onto the company’s website to see detailed stats on precisely where your time went, and the service even presents you with a productivity score that shows you how productive you were.

Define the very next steps you need to take to do something you’re procrastinating on

One of the largest reasons people procrastinate with getting things done is that their tasks and to-dos are too ambiguous. Take one thing you’re procrastinating on, and define the very next thing you have to do to get it done. This will make the task less ambiguous, and it will also give you a kick in the butt to get it done.

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Connected, but alone?

As we expect more from technology, do we expect less from each other? Sherry Turkle studies how our devices and online personas are redefining human connection and communication -- and asks us to think deeply about the new kinds of connection we want to have.

An insightful talk on how we are seduced by technology (social media, in particular) for that feeling of connectedness and the void of loneliness within us it helps fill.

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How do I stop procrastinating?

I think it helps to understand the cause of your procrastination.

I’ve given a lot of thought to this (probably when I should have been doing other things!) and have come up with 9 causes of procrastination (there are surely more, but these 9 should cover most of the cases).

Each of these causes requires its own solution or set of solutions.

Nine Causes of Procrastination: Fuzzy Goals Sketchy Plans Overwhelm Unexpected Complications Interruptions Boredom Anxiety Impatience Exhaustion

Let’s look at each of these, and consider what thoughts they provoke (so you can diagnose them), and lay out some rough strategies for dealing with them:

1. Fuzzy goals

When you have fuzzy goals, you are likely to think things like this:

“Why am I doing this project?” “What should the final product look like?” “How will people actually benefit from this?” “Should I work on this now, or is something else more important?”

And here are some strategies for dealing with fuzzy goals:

Ask yourself why you're doing the project. When you do this, you will come up with some purpose.Then ask yourself why you’re pursuing that purpose. And keep doing that until your project is set within the context of your whole life.

After all this, it might turn out you don’t have a good reason to work on this project, and that you need to work on another project.

Work out the relative importance of all your projects, so you can make sure you’re working on your most important project.

2. Sketchy Plans

When you have sketchy plans, you are likely to think things like this:

“I have to keep my place in my head too much as I work” “I’m not sure this plan will work” “I’m a bit concerned that it’s more complicated than it looks”

And here are some strategies for dealing with sketchy plans:

Break your project down further to expose hidden detail.

Consider whether there are any conflicts within the project, or between this project and other projects.

If you find conflicts, resolve them and create a plan that works.

3. Overwhelm

When you’re suffering from overwhelm, you’re likely to think thoughts like this:

“I can’t get it all done” “I need to work, but I can’t stop thinking about [some unrelated issue]” “I don’t know if I should work on X or Y or Z”

And here is a sure-fire strategy for dealing with overwhelm:

Follow the clear mind procedure outlined here: The Clear Mind Procedure (Illustrated)

4. Unexpected Complications

When you encounter unexpected complications, you’re likely to think things like:

“Why can’t things just work as planned?”

And here are some strategies for dealing with unexpected complications:

Work in shorter sprints – work on only 1-2 week projects that get you feedback regularly. There is less chance of running into unexpected complications when you break projects into smaller deliverable modules.

Get the complication out of your head and into your plan. That way you’ll see it sooner, and be able to resolve complication before you start working.

5. Interruptions

When you encounter interruptions, you’re likely to think things like:

“Why can’t I stay on task?”

And here are some strategies for dealing with interruptions.

Have periods in your work day where you can’t be interrupted, and train the people you work with to respect this.

When interrupted: write down exactly where you are in your plan, and the next step, so you can get back to work right away when the interruption passes.

6. Boredom

When you’re bored, you’re likely to think things like:

“This work is repetitive and beneath me.”

When you’re bored, you can try:

Playing games within the game (setting mini-goals for yourself, and such)

Looking for opportunities to outsource the work, if possible.

Organizing your job/business so you can do more challenging projects.

7. Anxiety

When you have anxiety about your work, you’re likely to think thoughts like:

“I don’t know if I’m doing this right” “I don’t know how to do this.”

And when you’re feeling anxiety, you can do the following:

Take some time to plan the project in more detail and identify the areas you don’t understand well enough

Get expert advice if needed.

8. Impatience

When you’re impatient, you ‘re likely to think thoughts like:

“Are We There Yet?” “Why does this have to take so long?” “The finish line seems so far away”

And here are some strategies for dealing with impatience:

Break your work into 1-2 week modules. Don’t ever find yourself 3 months into a project with 3 months to go before getting meaningful feedback.

Zoom your focus in on TODAY’s work and make up a story about why today’s work is important.

9. Exhaustion

When you’re exhausted, you’re likely to think thoughts like:

“I can’t think” “I can’t keep my eyes open” “I need a break”

And here are some strategies for dealing with exhaustion.

Set up work-rest rhythms at hourly, daily, weekly, and bigger scales.

Take care to get enough sleep, exercise, sunshine and nutrition to keep your energy high.

Take a break!

Source: http://www.quora.com/Procrastination/How-do-I-get-over-my-bad-habit-of-procrastinating (Answer by Jim Stone, Personal Productivity Philosopher.)