Tucker Tarantula

Scuse the foulmouth. (art by the-blonde-hurricane)

[the-blonde-hurricane]

guess who i saw recently lol

[arachnid-acid]

✨seasoned✨

[ocdnatural-deactivated20220809]

experiencing female hysteria (tummy ache)

[shencomix]

if you defeat me you must take my place

[cheaphalloweencostume]

local man sees really cool sword in pawn shop window

“holy shit” he has said

[256gb]

Step into my office.

[slimetony]

scientists invented new bones

[kidkitthekingslayer]

no they didn’t randy

[slimetony]

ask them. they put em in while we were snoozin

[taluluto-deactivated20190219]

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like “do yall have sweet tea??” and theyre like “no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!” llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

[squarizona]

mh computer tryin to say chimichangas I give uP

[adipescentsweetness-blog]

my favourite video

[queefybuttcheeks]

yea i be knowin about art i kno about paula picaso henry maltese all dem dudes

[fartney]

Costco Lady: Free sample?

Me:

[honeymushroom]

im just going to post my favorite bits from crime pays but botany doesnt from now on

*high pitched chicago accent* look at that little begonia 

[teathattast]

[milqi]

That cat is going to murder the man in the dark of night.

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

alas, he will be unable to murder the man because the accordion noises that now accompany his every move make stealth impossible

[rebootera]

[setheverman]

i love this so much

[grimbrother]

this the got damn crunchiest bass line ever and i will always reblog this video when i come across it.

[krinkshaming-deactivated2017021]

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I have a feeling this will become iconic in due time.  

[moonblossom]

I’ve watched this for like a dozen loops and I still crack up every time

[danieljlayton-deactivated202002]

I knew this was coming and I still cried.

[justlittlefrogthings]

Time For My Daily Push Umps Hurghhhgghhh Aaaafhhhh

[the-half-elf-disaster]

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[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail