there are only two genders btw. people who are alive and people who are fucking dead
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.

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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@kidkitthekingslayer
there are only two genders btw. people who are alive and people who are fucking dead
there will never be anything as funny as the mutual disbelief between long form and short form fic writers about each other's style.
short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.
meanwhile long form writers look at people writing 1000 word one shots like god I would cut off my left nipple to be able to say anything concisely. i would love to play with multiple ideas. free me from the shackles of this child I have birthed. i love them but I now must take them to t-ball and doctor's appointments and they're going to destroy everything I own.
kfc mobile app automatically put in my order under the name Nasty Ned and i cant change it can someone kill me expeditiously please
ITWONT LET ME CHANGE IT
rip magneto you would have loved killing elon musk
Probably with a cybertruck, let's be honest. And it would have ruled so hard.
Magneto: *raises hand*
Cybertruck: *explodes*
Professor X: Violence is not the answer, Erik!
Magneto: I didn't even activate my powers yet! It just did that on its own.
what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm
Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.
Oh my god?????
Yeah you're right about beautiful I'm squeezing him until he pops!!!!! I love this guy I think I'm going to make an edit real quickly Calboy I love you I'm so sorry people are calling you a freak??????
yall i swear to god if a bitch says her pronouns are she/her then her pronouns are she/her
my close friend from uni was a cis girl who had the audacity to wear pants and cut her hair short and like nobody at this school, a place OBSESSED with ‘respecting everyone’s gender identities,’ would call her ‘she.’ after MONTHS of this she started wearing a fucking pronoun pin to work and i dont even think that fixed it. me, im sorta androgynous; i have shaggy self-cut hair and go by a neutral name, but i always say my pronouns are she/her, and people ive worked with for months and have introduced myself in front of fifty times will STILL reflexively say ‘they’ for me. i respect the progressive circles i run in, but this IS evidence of misogyny. people’s definition of “woman” or “girl” is so narrow and high-maintenance that even the tiniest deviation from the norm gets you forcibly defeminized. but it’s a compliment, right? like who would wanna be a girl anyway?
replacing an inescapable gender binary with an equally-inescapable gender trinary is stupid 🩷
it’s always when you open tumblr in public when an 1866 painting of a vagina shows up on your dash
It used to be every single day. This is what they took from us.
Happy Pride
Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this
picture i got at pride last week; here mexico
This is very dumb but hey
i may or may not want u. depending
i got hoes with nuance
if i hear one more time someone try to argue katara was reduced to a trophy wife in legend of korra i am going to drop kick them into yue bay.
well, no, i didn’t expect leopards to eat my face, but this obviously wasn’t what the leopards eating people's face party wanted. they were stifled by their opposition and bureaucratic red tape! i think we should give more power to the leopard eating face party, so the leopards only eat the faces of people who deserve it. plus they just put a new leopard in charge of the face eating, and i think this one really brings something new to the table. so yes i'm voting for the leopards eating people's face party again. why wouldn't i.
yall gotta learn the difference between "this character is an asshole" and "this character was supposed to be super cool but the author is an asshole" and "this character is a teenage girl who was mean once"
My old person take today is that I feel like people have normalized being on your phone every single moment including when you're spending "quality" time with others so much that they're defensive if someone isn't ok with it. Yes, you have a problematic relationship with your phone and social media if you physically cannot put it down for a couple of hours to like, have dinner with your friends. It's a show of respect for other people's time and energy as well as important to be present and connect with people around you. Your parents who told you no phone at the table were right for that one.
human pregnancy is so wild to me. like, you can just create another consciousness. and you can do it accidentally in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot
Tango. Uniform. Mike. Bravo. Lima. Romeo.
Kilo.
Uniform.
November
Golf.
Papa
Oscar
Whiskey
Papa
Echo
November
India
Sierra.