Damian: Father, I require assistance.
Batman: Is this about the exploding Lazarus pit again?
Damian: Worse.
(Danny phases through the Batcave ceiling holding a glowing smoothie.)
Danny: Hey dad, hey grandpa. Raven says if you keep stress-brooding you’re gonna throw your back out by age fifty-two.
Batman: …
Damian: …
Batman: Explain.
Danny: Oh right. Hi. I’m Danny. I’m your future grandson from, like, twenty years ahead. Mom sent me back because dad accidentally started an interdimensional incident trying to prove he could “totally beat Constantine in a magic duel.”
Damian: I would never—
Danny: You absolutely would. I have video proof.
Batman: Raven is the mother?
Danny: Yeah. You guys were terrifyingly in love. Whole “darkness and violence but secretly soft for each other” thing. Really gross honestly.
Damian: Father, destroy him.
Danny: Can’t. Genetic immunity. Also grandma Talia already tried.
Danny: Oh yeah. She loves me. Calls me “the tolerable Wayne.”
Damian: I despise this timeline.
Danny: That’s okay. Mom said you’d say that. Dad cried when I inherited her empathy and your anger issues though.
Batman: already opening the contingency files
Danny: Don’t bother. I inherited ghost powers from a lab accident too.
Batfamily watching from the security cameras
Jason: “Oh thank God, Damian finally got humbled.”
Tim: “The glowing kid called Bruce grandpa and Bruce didn’t deny it.”
Dick: “HE CAN PHASE THROUGH WALLS?!”
Cass: silent delighted thumbs up
Steph: “Future goth divorce baby speedrun any%.”