Hey there

this blog is dedicated to stuff important r to me, not so much the random mess that is my main.

[thecosmicautie]

for autistic (and suspecting) adults

here are some resources on autism that have helped me since my diagnosis at 25(!!) years old. hope these help (:

General

Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)

Welcome to the Autistic Community

Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism

Autistic Science Person

What is Autism?

Que es el Autismo? (What is Autism? For Spanish speakers)

Asperger’s vs Autism

Hans Asperger

Functioning Labels

The Problems with Functioning Labels

I am Joe’s Functioning Label

Why ABA is Harmful to Autistic People

But What About the Good ABA Therapists?

Autism Speaks (why NOT to support them)

Autism’s Race Problem

Autism and the Pathology Paradigm

Psycopathy: Racism and Ableism from the Medical-Industrial Complex

Use of the term “Differently Abled”

Autism and Gender

Autistic, Non-Speaking and Intelligent

Sensory

Sensory Processing Disorder (4 part series)

Interoception

Proprioception

How to Reduce Sensory Overload

Shutdowns

Shutdowns (2)

Meltdowns

Study on Senses in Autistic People

Audio Processing Disorder

Pain Sensitivity

Sensory Differences

Sensory Pain

Traits & Co-Ocurring Conditions

Inclusive List of Traits

Traits (2)

Revised Traits, by an Autistic Person

Executive Dysfunction (4 part series)

Body Language

Insomnia

Fatigue

Fatigue (2)

Fatigue (3)

Communication Differences

Anxiety

Autistic Strengths

Echolalia

Alexithymia

Alexithymia (2)

Autistic Talents

“Regression”

Prospopagnosia

Catastrophizing

Dissociation

Double Standard of Empathy

The Empathy Conundrum

The Benefit of Special Interests

Special Interests

Eye Contact

In Defense of Stimming

More in Defense of Stimming

Scripting

Professional/Self-Diagnosis

Quizzes

More Quizzes

Self-Diagnosis and the Issues with Formal Diagnosis

Issues in Accuracy and Speed of Formal Diagnosis

Difficulties Getting an Adult Diagnosis

Diagnosis in Adults

Adult Diagnosis (Pros and Cons, etc)

Getting a Diagnosis as an Adult

How to Start Pursuing an Diagnosis

The Evaluation Process

Misdiagnosis (pls ignore the unnecessary gendering)

An Article on Late Diagnosis

“Acting More Autistic” After Diagnosis

Adults Need an Easier Path to Diagnosis

Racial Disparities in Diagnosis and Treatment

Structural Racism and Autism

[camfusedly]

Hi I, an atheist, am reading the Bible for some reason (not the whole thing) and I'm reading a Bible that was given to me as a child (translation is NLT). Want to see some homophobic Bible translation.

"THEY BECAME THE BEST OF FRIENDS"

"NO HOMO, BIBLE EDITION"

Want to see how an accurate Bible translation does this verse?

LOVED HIM AS HIS OWN SOUL

THAT'S SOME GAY SHIT RIGHT THERE

DON'T DENY ME THAT, NLT

[hellyeahsickaf]

I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)

How to Get On

How to have a great, disabled life.

It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:

How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.

Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."

How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills

How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud

Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides

Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance

Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!

There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.

Please boost!

[dissonantpapersouls]

@disabled.daisy

I've noticed that abled people (NT's included) call "innovative" and "efficient" things lazy. If I can do things an easier way in a shorter amount of time while expending less energy, it's working smarter, not harder. Are they insecure because of their antiquated attitudes and lack of ingenuity? Why waste time, money and energy? They love menial unnecessary tasks that don't matter and when there's a faster/better way they think they're better than us for unnecessarily taking longer. Do they just want to feel better about their inadequacies by degrading and belittling others?

[transfaguette]

one major thing ive had to learn about my pain and fatigue is that overexertion does NOT result in more sleep. a healthy person might have a busy, physically active day and then have a really good sleep as a result. When I do this, I can’t fall asleep at all, and i’m often in terrible pain. So I end up being miserable twice, first when I pushed myself past my limits, and second from the resulting pain and insomnia. So here’s my message to you, chronically fatigued person: don’t push yourself when you don’t have to.

[cringecorp]

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

[spoonfulofhannah]

Healthy people really don’t understand that there is a drastic difference between them resting for relaxation and chronically ill people resting because our body depends on it

[marshmarlowee]

What’s the difference between fatigue and being tired?

My heart is racing and I’m breathing heavy after walking up or down a single flight of stairs.

Eating a meal is tiring.

I can sleep 10-12 hours and wake up and feel okay for about 30 minutes, maybe an hour, and then I’m exhausted again.

Mentally stimulating tasks are difficult, I can’t focus on reading.

Showering is so hard. I stand in the water and space out because it’s hard to lift my body parts to clean them properly. I need to lie down or sleep after showering because it is the most physical strain I will have in a day.

Other chronically ill and disabled people are invited to add their own examples. I’m so drained and I have to vent these feelings, it might as well be in a way that could potentially be useful for other people.

[aetherclaws-deactivated20250921]

for me at least (I have me/cfs type long covid, possibly also pots) it's also

- generalized burning/sore pain that's hard to identify, when the fatigue is really bad (especially if I haven't slept)

- severe insomnia (up to four days without sleep is pretty normal for me; I usually get four to six hours of sleep). somehow being fatigued makes it harder for me to sleep, which is pretty evil.

- cognitive symptoms: auditory hallucinations usually repeating a sound I heard recently, internal monologue repeating words or phrases involuntarily for hours making it almost impossible to think, internal monologue getting louder on certain words. other stuff I don't even know how to begin to explain. for some reason being more fatigued makes this all worse.

- brain fog. brain fog is too mild-sounding a term for what it is, though. it's being trapped in a brain that's going haywire and being aware of what's happening but not able to think about it properly because my train of thought is incoherent. it's being too tired to think, too tired to be conscious, too tired to be alive.

- worsened sensory issues because processing the sensory overload is exhausting and the fatigue makes all pain more noticeable and worse

- typing is tiring. holding my phone at the right angle is tiring. having to press any extra buttons (like capitalizing words) is extra effort mentally and physically.

- changing the tone of how I communicate in different situations is taxing. when it's bad I switch to formal grammar/vocabulary because I'm too exhausted to remember what slang or more casual grammar to use. if it's really bad I don't use grammar; anything I write like this would be incomprehensible to anyone else (this is when I'm too fatigued to get out of bed but can't sleep, so it's relegated to my notes app). I don't really talk to anyone when I'm fatigued enough for this to be an issue though, anyway, because at that point I'm way past too exhausted for social interaction (that used to be most of the time but this part of it has gotten a little better recently, but it's still pretty often)

- relatedly, conversation is exhausting. having to process the other person's responses and what I'm expected to respond with and what I want to say at once is exhausting (I'm also neurodivergent so it was a struggle before but the fatigue and brain fog this causes now is a whole other beast). when it's at the worst I can't really remember anything besides the most literal information I need to communicate, so I end up sounding rude because I can't process polite social cues. it makes it very difficult/impossible to express what I'm struggling with and why I can't communicate properly (this has also gotten a little better for me recently but is definitely still an issue)

- at it's worst, I'll be so exhausted that I know the position I'm resting (trying to rest) in is uncomfortable, but I can't really process that I should... move and do something about that, and getting into a more comfortable position is exhausting and painful (and then I just get uncomfortable again, rinse and repeat). so I'll just kind of be uncomfortable for... hours? it's hard to even tell how much time is passing

- even on my "good" days I'm more tired than I would've been after staying up two or three nights in a row pre-illness

- irregular, fast heartbeat (which is then extra sensory input and makes me more fatigued)

- I get too exhausted to think properly after about 15 minutes of intentional focus on any new information. sometimes up to half an hour on better days, and very rarely I'll have a good couple hours (like, maybe five times in the past year). so anything that requires sustained focus is really difficult. I can't read or study anything for long without it giving me physical symptoms (sometimes I get so tired I get nauseous), and worse, brain fog.

- a lot more but this is all I can think of right now

I really really wish people understood that fatigue is different to being tired because it's not even comparable. it's like comparing a stab wound to a papercut.

[hellyeahsickaf]

When I say "I can't do that" what I'm not saying is:

I don't feel interested in doing that

I don't care enough to

I'm too good to be doing that

I don't think you deserve that of me

I'm not in the mood to do that

Not now, I'll do it later

Maybe

If that's what I meant, that's what I would say

What I am saying is:

It will negatively affect me in ways I can't afford

I simply can't physically fucking do that

I can't risk the potentially severe consequences I may experience if I overestimate my ability to do that

And if I explain that I am unable to do that, it is not an invitation to:

Tell me how much my disability hurts your feelings

Ask if I'm sure

Interrogate me because you believe yourself to be the judge of how unwell is unwell enough

Put words in my mouth ("why don't you care?")

Tell me how easy it would be

Remind me of how many other things I've been unable to do. I keep the score more than you do

Accuse me of exaggerating or faking to avoid doing it

Ask me again shortly

Make assumptions about additional explanations. (I must be mad at you, I must not care about this)

Offer compensation in return ("I can pay you" "we can do something you want to do after" "I'll get you something you like")

Ask what it would take for me to suddenly be capable of doing it

Tell me how you do things you have to do when when you're tired and then you can just rest and recover. I am not like you

Remind me of a time I was able to do that. Either I had more spoons or was less severely disabled if at all.

Say that if I was well enough to do X today, I should be able to do this as well. Energy doesn't work that way. Are you capable of running 8 miles right this minute just because you were okay to work a 10 hour shift today? That's what I thought

Suggest simply doing it a certain way ("take your time", "do it sitting down", "we can stop and take breaks", "just take your painkillers", etc)

But it is an invitation to:

Leave me the fuck alone about it 💕

[moldyyeast]

cn: venting, me/cfs

ok so one more thing about pacing is that it's just incredibly depressing. because it forces you to constantly confront to consider how little you are able to do and how much you've lost. also at least for me it makes it really hard to distract myself and especially get out of my pit when I'm depressed, because I can't do anything and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

[girlrustcohle]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[mycroftrh]

I think a lot of autistic taking-things-literally goes under the radar because what the diagnostic tests and shit ask about is not what that generally looks like in an adult and often not in kids either and much more importantly it’s not what generally actually causes problems in real life instead of being irritating for caretakers or funny to bullies or easy to diagnose

I have absolutely no issues understanding metaphors or idioms. When someone says their heart is on their sleeve they mean they’re emotionally expressive and openly display their feelings, not that they have a chunk of cardiac tissue on their shirt. I very rarely have issues with sarcasm. I sometimes have issues telling when someone who’s said something mean is about to say “just kidding”, but tbh I think that’s more on them than me.

BUT

My grandmother asked me “Do you know when the trash was taken out last?” and I said “I think Eliot took it out yesterday” and a few hours later she yelled at me for “not taking out the trash when I asked you to” and I was like???? You didn’t ask me????

I dread filling out forms and am crap at filling out diagnostic tests or personality quizzes because there are always questions I don’t know the exact answers to (how am I supposed to know what day I got dental surgery seven years ago?) or don’t understand exactly what they’re asking or the wording’s unclear and they could mean this or the wording says this but I’m pretty sure what they actually meant was that and should I answer what they said or what they meant, and how does everyone else just whip through the form? Does everyone else remember the day they got dental surgery seven years ago? Does everyone else somehow understand all these questions?

I get tangled up by bureaucracy because the rules on the website say that for this you need that and for that you need the other and for the other you need something else for which you need the first thing, and I go in circles for hours or days or weeks or months or years because their stated rules say there is no way to get what I need, and when I talk to somebody else they’re like “just call them?” and I’m like “how could that help? the rules say that what I’m trying to do is impossible”

And all of that? That’s how “taking things literally” ACTUALLY affects your life as an adult. It’s not “haha you think ‘getting under your skin’ means parasites”. It’s “you have real difficulty functioning in the world because everyone else is conveying things through implication and assuming that you know that rules are flexible and questions are approximate and you’re supposed to lie on job applications and ‘it’s required’ means ‘it’s preferred’, and you don’t”.

[youareyoubutwhoareyou]

Hey if u like the ocean look at this its rly cool I think

[vee-nis-flytrap]

the thing that always gets me ESPECIALLY about autistic representation in media is that we are universally portrayed as happy-go-lucky, whimsical children, completely oblivious to the fact that the world constantly judges and scorns and HATES us.

We notice. I noticed. The reason I am as messed up as I am today is because i spent 20 LONG years in an environment where every day i was subjected to that. To noticing.

what an absolutely neurotypical view of us. Coddling themselves, getting to act like the way they treat us is fine because we don't understand that our peers dont respect us. Why would we? We're so subhuman to them, it's like asking if your cat notices you playfully insulting it.

Every autistic person I've ever met is on some level bitter and angry and TRAUMATIZED at their upbringing. Of having to go through school as the laughing stock, as the weirdo with no friends who no one wants to talk to, as the animal in the corner you can make do cheap tricks so they can experience some Simulacra of what genuine human connection is.

Now tell me, does it sound like I didn't notice?

[infiniterichesinalittleroom]

“It’s a common thing to change your name. It isn’t that incredible. Many people do it. People change their town, change their country. New appearance, new mannerisms. Some people have many names. I wouldn’t pick a name unless I thought I was that person. Sometimes you are held back by your name. Sometimes there are advantages to having a certain name. Names are labels so we can refer to one another. But deep inside us we don’t have a name. We have no name. I just chose that name and it stuck. My forebears were Russian. I don’t know how they got a German name coming from Russia. Maybe they got their name coming off the boat or something. To make a big deal over somebody’s name, you’re liable to make a big deal about any little thing. But getting back to Dylan Thomas, it wasn’t that I was inspired by reading some of his poetry and going “Aha!” and changing my name to Dylan. If I thought he was that great, I would have sung his poems, and could just as easily have changed my name to Thomas.”

— Bob Dylan • Playboy

[cabesswtaer]

i can’t believe some of y’all read this line and decided to be normal about it

i love going about my day and acting like I don’t think about it every waking moment

[floating-goblin-deactivated2021]

the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"

[sepiascissors]

quiet, meaning "has been yelled at or ignored a few too many times and now considers all attempts at communicating with others to be pointless"

self-sufficient, meaning "next to zero trust in parental figures' ability in various aspects of parenting"

lazy, meaning "depressed, but expected to preform tasks or actions without positive support or knowledge of how to do things"

[agentwaffle]

Y'know, if you're gonna call me out in so many damn flavors can we at least have blue raspberry?

[transcyberism]

"so much potential" - smart but too neurodivergent to function at the level of similarly-intelligent peers without help, which they will not get

"outspoken and opinionated" - knows bullshit when they see it and calls it out, but concerns are basically always dismissed and ignored

"troubled" - probably facing severe abuse or neglect at home and unable to socially adjust to the split demands of school and home life and has likely resorted to behaviors like drug use or shoplifting to cope with unmet needs, but no one wants to actually deal with the root cause

"class clown" - similar to above in that home life is probably poor, desperately seeking attention from teachers (positive or negative) and approval/acceptance from peers at any cost, even if it means the removal of their own dignity

"teacher's pet" - low self-worth; considers their intellect or proficiency in specific subjects to be one of the only things about them that is of value, wants to be recognized and affirmed by authority figures

"dumb jock" - probably behind in literacy/numeracy skills either because of disability or disadvantaged background but otherwise very similar to "teacher's pet" above, except they have prioritized athletic performance instead of classroom performance.

"tryhard" - helicopter parents who make praise contingent on success