I’m trans, I’m queer, and I’m making that everyone’s problem. 24 write like a whore. So this blog is two things, where I reblog fic, and where I post fic. (Sm other stuff as well, but those are the primary functions)ASKS:OPEN!
This blog is for reblog fic, photo sets, and the occasional thirst edit maybe. Basically the modern equivalent of a teenager filling their locker with celebrity photos and fic.
Mostly P*dro P*scal at the moment, some old Beetlejuice stuff, and eventually it will be smth else.
This blog isn’t really regular, I mean the main reason I made it was to reblog and organize fics I have built up in my likes, but posting stupid horny fic at two in the afternoon is not smth I want my friends to see, so here it went, and will probably continue to go.
I like, never beta read, the most it usually gets is if I move it from my phone notes to google docs to here, I make it much more difficult for myself and I know that.
Asks are open, but I CANNOT and WILL NOT promise anything, it stresses me out in ways I don’t want associated with writing fic.
tw: explicit content. 13k+ words. College AU. Satoru/Reader, past (unrequited) Suguru/Reader and Suguru/Satoru. afab!beta!reader (they/them), alpha!gojo. feral!gojo, feral!reader, i am not sorry
Some alcohol, but no one is actually drunk. oral (reader receiving), sex toys, dirty talk, knots, satoru in rut, satoru is a little gross but only because he's obsessed, you and satoru take turns going insane over each other
childhood friends to lovers. humor. intense platonic love. PINING. so much pining. omegaverse antics. gojo has provider/caretaker!alpha instincts. this fic is more romance than smut so just read it if you want chemistry and yearning with gojo that ends in sex.
Prompt: A beta develops the ability to smell scents and finds themselves losing their mind.
You’d never particularly minded being a beta. Sure, alphas and omegas didn’t have to deal with periods, but considering how awful ruts and heats can be, you think you got the better end of the deal.
In isolation, being a beta isn’t a bad thing, although there’s times you’ve wished you were something else.
Your best friend, Satoru Gojo, is an alpha, and that had never really mattered, either.
Then one day – you wake up, as per usual.
You meet up with him and walk to Jujutsu Technical College together; Satoru lives on campus, but he likes to walk with you. Presumably to snag an extra ten minutes or so during which to be a pain in your ass.
As soon as he sees you, he beams, a spring in his extra large stride as he comes up behind you, throwing an arm over your shoulders.
This wasn’t unusual. He’d done this a million times before. What’s unusual is a – something in the air. You sniff, and Satoru picks it up right away, sniffing along with you.
Whatever you’re smelling, he must not detect it.
It doesn’t smell like anything specific, you couldn’t definitively match it to a food or candle or anything in particular.
It’s a sweet and sour sort of thing, similar to lemonade; it almost makes scrunch your nose, and at the same time your mouth waters as if you can already taste it.
“What is it?” He looks at you from behind those stupid sunglasses that somehow looked awesome on him. “I know it’s not me.”
“Nothing, I just thought I caught a whiff of like… a drink or something. I must have spilled it on my clothes somewhere.” You’re really sure you didn’t, but it’s the only thing that makes sense.
It makes less sense that the smell gets stronger when Satoru leans in towards you – way too close, you’ve gotta yell at him about personal space sometime – and takes an exaggerated sniff.
“You look like a pervert,” Your observation doesn’t stop him in the least. In fact, you think he sniffs even harder. “Have I got crack on me or something?” Satoru snickers at that.
“Nah, I’m actually not getting anything.” He leans in even more, almost towards your neck, “You sure you’re not going crazy?”
“Ugh, stop it, you freak!” You shove him aside, and he lets you with a laugh.
You don’t smell it again for the rest of the walk.
-
You visit a doctor’s office. Nothing has been unusual between your legs, and god knows Satoru would have teased you about it immediately if he’d smelled anything different.
But the doctor tells you why you smelled something he didn’t; alphas, especially young ones not yet out of their teenage years, were generally blind to their own scents, as most people were.
What you’d been smelling had been Satoru.
Sudden onset scent sensitivity. Real tongue-twister of a name, but it was real, and you’d looked it up after they told you about it.
It’s funny, because you’ve never had a very strong sense of smell; Satoru had always been utterly baffled by it.
Especially after presenting, he was floored at the fact that you couldn’t tell that his jacket smelled like him, to which you’d asked him (very seriously) if he had ever heard of a washing machine.
Washing with soap did typically remove the scent from articles of clothing, but it was common for an alpha or omega to run their hands over fresh laundry, or toss a clean-but-scented blanket into the dryer for a quick tumble.
Scenting stuff. You’d never really gotten the idea behind it. All humans were born with scent glands, and their secondary sexes develop those glands – along with their genitalia – in different ways.
A beta like you had no secondary sex hormones, and consequently didn’t develop any secondary sex characteristics. While betas do have scent glands, the scent they produce is weaker, and they don’t emit pheromones at all.
However, human bodies and developments were as diverse as they were weird. It wasn’t uncommon for individuals to produce a specific hormone or group of hormones, developing part of a secondary sex’s characteristics without actually presenting as one.
Turns out your body produces a hormone linked to the ability to smell pheromones. The doctor said it had probably started happening during puberty, and over the years, it eventually led to your newfound sensitivity.
That didn’t make you an alpha or an omega, but it did clue you in to something that only they could sense. A whole new world of conversations and invisible signaling going on, pheromones, scents –
And, as you learned in a painful, awkward stint past Satoru’s dorm room at the college – there was no good way of saying this – cum.
Good old whiff of cum while you walked by, so profuse it almost kind of gagged you, head racing with confusion and alarm at what the fuck this new sensation was.
But very quickly you catch on to how your heart picks up, how your thighs clench. Alpha cum has pheromones in it, after all.
And a peek into his bachelor pad later reveals a trashcan full of tissues you wouldn’t have glanced twice at before. Maybe not even once.
Just beside them is a seemingly innocuous crumpled up sock and your nose is saying yUP. THE SEXY IS ON THE SOCK.
Okay, so it’s cum. And you know it’s cum. And you’ll know it’s cum every time you visit, and every time Satoru is even a little bit messy with it, which is always, because he doesn’t know that you can smell his cum.
Cool, cool, okay, cool.
But that was fine. Totally fine, right? It’s not like you thought Satoru was a monk or anything. So, your best friend jerks off sometimes. He’s a teenage boy, it’d be weirder if he didn’t!
It’s hard to look him in the (extremely pretty) eyes that day, though.
It isn’t a gross scent, exactly, it’s just very… distinct.
Satoru’s cum does still smell a bit like him, that tangy, mouth-watering scent, but with an unmistakable undertone that your brain can only register as horny.
But like. You know what it is! You’re forced to know! And even if you’re just a beta, you can’t help how you react to the knowledge.
Even if it’s weird, though, in a (deeply awkward, uncomfortable) way you’re glad.
You were close friends with alphas and omegas, and those friendships were just like any other, really, but there was this type of communication that you couldn’t understand.
Omegas and alphas would just get certain things about one another, a natural sort of empathy that only came from shared experiences.
A party that you weren’t invited to, a bunch of inside jokes you weren’t in on, a language you couldn’t understand.
Satoru was your best friend, but you didn’t think for a second that you were his.
His best friend was a fellow alpha, Suguru Geto. You’d met in high school, years ago, and you’d been crushing on Geto for a while before he presented. You’d already presented by then and you were sure he’d be a beta, just like you.
Even though Satoru had been telling you for weeks that he’d be an alpha. Said he could just tell. He just knew. Boy, it was annoying when it finally happened.
Alpha-beta pairs aren’t the rarest thing in the world but they’re not that common, either.
You’d been hopeful about it for a while, until you see how the two of them got along, understood each other so seamlessly, connected even during their not-so-uncommon arguments.
(Satoru had always gone to you, after those, to complain. As if you’d take his side over Geto’s! Even if you weren’t infatuated with the guy, he was way more reasonable than Satoru. High school Satoru was a menace.)
Even after Geto left for a different college, there was always this layer of distance that you felt between you two after he presented.
Satoru didn’t seem to know it existed at all, but you felt it, every time he or Geto or anyone else referenced these feelings that only alphas or omegas experienced. Feelings you couldn’t understand.
“Eugh, I’m in pre-rut, it totally sucks…”
“I told you, Satoru, order one of those online rut kits. The included toys work really well.”
“Whaaaaaaat? I thought you were gonna ask out that omega guy from Chemistry!”
“Don’t remind me, I almost wish I had. God, if I did, maybe I could spend the next rut with him…”
And it was bad enough that you kept being reminded of it, that your crush was an alpha and his dream partner would always be an omega.
That you’d never be what he wanted, just what he had, even if you got together.
What was worse was how touchy they got, even after presenting. Casually slinging arms around your shoulders, both of them, hugs to say hello and goodbye, the sudden familiarity and physicality you could only attribute to them presenting as alphas.
It was apparently normal for alphas or omegas to want to scent their close friends, and you were always stuck between the two. Some kind of pack behavior stuff.
Satoru constantly took your stuff, made plans with you then cancelled later, showed up whenever you were trying to make new friends to scare people off.
Like all your free time should belong to him, even if all he wanted to do was find an omega to bang. You were young, and dumb, and Satoru was your closest friend, so you let him get away with it.
He’d always been possessive like that. There weren’t a lot of people who could get close to Satoru, and even fewer people who stayed there.
He was needy, demanding, and capricious all at once, just as likely to leave you on read than to spam you with twenty messages in five minutes.
So hot and cold. Geto got most of Satoru’s attention back in high school, and when he could be bothered to hang out with you, Geto was usually there too.
Geto was less of a raging whore than Satoru, but they talked about it casually enough for you to know they both got around. Like it was some badge of pride.
Dumb alpha crap. Even when they didn’t want you, they had to be weird towards you.
They’d steal your clothes, try to get you to wear theirs, fussing over seemingly meaningless trivialities, like which colors you liked better, whose lunch you wanted a bite from, where you sat during movie night.
Exchanging looks while you glared at them, like they were speaking in a language you didn’t know. Satoru’s arm around your neck while Geto leaned into your side.
But you could tell what was going on between them. Bumping into each other, shoving one another’s shoulders and laughing.
The casual competition that extended to everything – sports, grades, social connections – not just you. How Satoru started spending more time with Geto, hanging out without you.
Nothing was more important to Satoru than finding someone who understood him.
He’d been utterly heartbroken when Geto left, and if this was how he reacted to losing a best friend who he insisted he didn’t have feelings for, you dreaded how he’d react to an actual breakup.
For his part, Satoru had gotten better. You got better at establishing boundaries, making other friends, and telling him directly that he made you feel like shit sometimes. Slamming the door in his pretty face had never felt so good.
If you’d known how easy he was, how that was all it took to get him crying and whining and scratching at your door, then you’d have kicked him to the curb ages ago.
Satoru had tried hard to understand you from then on, to respect your boundaries; borrowing things instead of stealing, keeping his commitments, be the friend you deserved, and not do weird alpha posturing crap.
But now you could detect some of the things that they could. You had a little look into the world he’d been living in, of scents and pheromones and irresistible arousal...
And you’re just as confused as before.
Confirming what you’d always thought; you’re a beta, he’s an alpha, and nothing in the world could ever bridge this particular gap between you two.
There’s so many weird things, so many mixed signals, it honestly doesn’t make any sense.
It has to be something an omega would understand, something Satoru or Geto’s ideal partner would just get, that you… couldn’t.
You start smelling Satoru’s scent in a lot of places, not just when you’re around him.
Somewhere in your closet. Okay, that makes sense, you remember him getting something out of there one time. When you look, you find the source of the scent – a scarf.
Satoru had bought a matching version after seeing it on you; it was something he’d done before. Shown up with an identical article of clothing, crowing about it totally looked better on him. You couldn’t roll your eyes hard enough at him.
He must have dropped it and thought it was yours. You’d sworn your copy of this scarf was in this closet, but you can’t find it, so maybe you wore it and left it somewhere else and forgot. Or maybe he picked up your version –
No, wait, he wouldn’t have. Satoru was supposed to be mostly blind to his own scent but he could smell yours, at least a little.
And scent blindness didn’t apply to objects or people that were actually scented… or maybe they did? You’d have to check it out. Just more alpha things you didn’t understand.
Besides, you were being pretty careless with your laundry lately. There’s an extra sock that appears in your wash, making you think that maybe he really did just leave his scarf and yours is still lying around somewhere, but the sock is nowhere near his size.
Sometimes you think this new scent sensitivity is just driving you crazy.
There’s more, too. Like a pen of yours that suddenly reeks of him; you recall having seen him put it in his mouth when staying over for a study session, but you’d assumed it was his own back then.
He would still help himself to your things these days, boy-prince that he was - he just made sure to repay you later, always with something nicer than what he'd taken. And he never took anything important.
Saliva was so strongly scented that even Satoru would have had to smell it, and he just did that to your pen? Eugh!
And how he leans into you when you’re walking side by side sometimes. An arm over your shoulder.
Now, you realize that with the way he rests his stupid lanky ass body against you, your hair often gets tucked into his neck, right where his glands ooze his electric scent all over you.
But Satoru’s weird, he’s always been weird. Probably a bit possessive, too – you remembered him and Geto doing this crap in high school, it’s just that you’re only now noticing how obvious it is to anyone who can smell it.
Then, one day hanging out in his dorm, you start to smell something different on him. His sweet and sour smell practically burns in the air like ozone, overtaking your head from the first sniff just like a shock.
Satoru doesn’t even notice you being weird about it, either, he just gets all huffy and tells you to come sit next to him.
Wait. Is he… is Gojo…
You look at him, making a face you’ve seen about a million times before, eyes glancing away as if bored.
One breath in and your senses scream horny. Horny, horny boy, horny jail, Satoru might as well be blushing and grabbing his crotch from what your brain is suddenly screaming at you.
This isn’t the scent you’d smelled before, when he had – oh god WHY do you have to be thinking this – just finished jerking off.
What??? What is it?? What is going ON? He hadn’t been watching porn or something before you came in, right?
“Satoru?” You say his name and his head instantly turns to you, like he’s standing to attention.
Something more trickles into the air just for a moment, a happy burst of pheromones reminiscent of a tiny little firework.
…He didn’t just, like, cum or anything, right?
Your name interrupts your thoughts, “What is it?” Big blue eyes looking at you. Pretty as ever.
There’s an inexplicable fondness that rushes through you, a rush of comfort, and reassurance, like you can tell him anything and he’ll help you.
“Uh, just – are you studying for Calc II? I have a test coming up.” Satoru isn’t in Calc II, what were you talking about? Why did you even ask?
“Yeah, I took it, let me get you my notes from last semester!” He shoves the chair back quicker than you’d expect, a grin creeping up his face, “Say thank you senpai~” He says in sing-song as he waves a notebook at you.
You roll your eyes. “We’re both sophomores.”
“But you’re behind me in this class,” Always so smug, “Don’t worry~ You know I’ve always got you, hm?”
Something feels too warm inside you for him to smell this horny. And why is it getting to you like this? What’s getting to you? Is this some kind of alpha thing? Does he even know he’s doing this?
You almost open up your mouth to ask him, but think better of it.
It’s not something you’d get anyways. You’re a beta and all.
“Yeah. Thanks, Satoru.”
He actually leaves you to study in peace after that. He takes the bed, claiming he just needs to review some stuff, and lets you sit at his desk and write answers.
Every now and then, you find your voice asking for help out loud with uncharacteristic meekness. Like you’re afraid he’ll tease you more instead of helping (the teasing, you expect, but surely you know he’ll help you anyways).
But Satoru darts over with an equally uncharacteristic attentiveness, looking over your shoulder, explaining the problem right away from beginning to end, patiently covering each part and answering your questions.
His face feels so warm next to yours. You know his neck – his scent glands – are digging into your shoulder where he’s looming over you, arms reaching around your side to point at different parts of the problem. Satoru doesn’t realize you smell it, but like this, his scent is overwhelming.
It leaves you flushed, tugging at your collar and swallowing dryly.
“Oh, you thirsty? I was about to get snacks!” He chirps before practically prancing off.
Satoru sounds weirdly excited to do it. It isn’t that weird – he loves study treats, “A little reward for working so hard~” – but his scent exudes a weird eagerness, a satisfaction, like he’s doing a really good job at… something.
What is this? Some alpha thing? You use the opportunity you get when he prances off to fan yourself. Take a deep breath or two.
There’s nothing weird about this, Satoru is acting the way he’s always been acting. He doesn’t know you can tell, now.
No way are you letting go of this advantage, after all that time he must have lorded it over you. In high school his scent was probably even stronger, and he and Geto rubbed it ALL over you!
Something catches your eye, though, or rather your nose. It’s on the corner of his desk, at the very edge. It smells like Satoru everywhere in here (you’d begun to learn that teen alpha boys, much like regular teen boys, absolutely reeked) but this scarf doesn’t. In fact, you think you recognize it.
Picking it up, you can smell your own scent on it, just faintly. Betas don’t smell like much, but this was something you wore often, and you can catch the faint vanilla sugar aroma that’s supposed to be peaceful and calming, like betas apparently are.
This was it, the same scarf that had gone missing in your closet. This one being yours – it still had your scent on it, somehow, even with how much Satoru reeked – and the one in your closet, as you suspected, was his.
The little thief! What was he doing with your clothing? Did he lose his scarf and decide to nick yours?
But… how could he have lost it in your closet? You were pretty sure you’d left yours in your closet.
From what you know about Alphas, they’re not supposed to like foreign scents in their “dens”, even from a mild beta. It would be immediately obvious that this doesn’t belong.
Maybe, being blind to his own scent, he didn’t notice your smell, but if he’d used it, even for just a couple hours, your scent should be totally gone from it.
So why’s it just sitting here, away from his bed or anywhere else the scent of you on it might be disturbed?
Satoru must have swapped them out intentionally. Or – why would he? If he took yours and just didn’t wear it, then that would explain it, too, right? Maybe the one in your room was yours, and he’d just swapped them back after wearing it. But why? Satoru would probably borrow your toothbrush if it saved him a trip to the convenience store, he didn’t care.
Your mind spins and spins until Satoru comes back, a couple bags of convenience store treats and drinks in hand, grinning and preening so hard – “Aren’t I just the best partner? Study buddy? You’re wel~come~” – if he were a dog his tail would be wagging wildly behind him.
Whatever. You’re just going crazy. Betas aren’t even supposed to be able to tell any of this stuff. It’s weird, you wouldn’t get it.
But Satoru gets you – has your back, like he always does. You leave his company smiling, content, like you always have.
-
After you ace the test the next night, you run at him beaming with excitement. He catches you in his arms and spins you around and you smell a pure and genuine joy in his scent as he teases you.
“Of course you aced it! You doubted my teaching?!”
“Never, Satoru-sensei~”
“Hehe. What a promotion from being your senpai!”
“I never admitted that!”
(Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile. And you’ll hand it over with a smile, too, because when have you ever been able to say no to that pretty face?)
Just – you’re friends. You celebrate each other’s accomplishments, nothing weird there.
-
You see your scarf again after a night of drinking.
It’s so stupid. Satoru knows he’s a huge lightweight. He turned twenty right before finals so he’s not technically underage, but still!
So why was he drinking? You’d heard there was some kind of big get-together (Nanami was there, after all), but Satoru wasn’t a social drinker or anything. It was some kind of celebration after finals being over or whatever. Still, the Satoru you knew never drank.
Then you get a text from him, begging you to pick him up from the bar. Why? You’re a college student, you don’t have a car! He can text you, but he can’t get a taxi? He can’t be that wasted.
And you know it’s from him because only Satoru would beg for help while also making it sound like it was an honor for you to help him. Ugh.
The worst part is, even when he’s tipsy and stumbling, he’s well over six damn feet tall and easily sends you stumbling whenever his steps waver. One arm wrapped around you like you’re some kind of living crutch.
“Awh~ Came to pick me up? You really do like me, huh?” He crows, like he hadn’t pleaded with you over text. He smells like fruity vodka and – someone else. Must be an alpha he hung out with at the party.
“Someone has to.” You grumble as you deposit him into the car seat, shoving at his shoulder when he doesn’t move over right away.
He pats on his lap, head tilted back, eyes dreamy and half-lidded as he giggles. Three times, before you scoff, slam the door, and go around the other side to sit next to him. Dumbass.
The ride to the dorm is less annoying than you thought it would be, mainly because Satoru… isn’t actually that drunk at all?
Just tipsy enough to tease you to sit on his lap, apparently.
“Come ooooon! We never cuddle anymore!”
“We haven’t cuddled since we were nine, and you said I had cooties.” It was pretty normal, of course, but it had hurt at the time.
“It’s been over ten years, won’t you forgive me?” He complains, “What, you don’t love me anymore?”
“I’d love to smack you,” You mutter to yourself.
Satoru must overhear you wrong, because he wiggles happily in his seat, reaching out to pull you against him. You let him sit like that for the ride as he rambles on about his night.
It’s cute. You’re a huge homebody – Satoru knows that – but it sounds like he had fun, connected with some old friends. Shoko, Nanami, and Haibara – names you haven’t heard in ages.
By the time you get to the dorms, you’re chatting animatedly about Nanami’s choice of major and whether or not it suited him (You really can’t believe he just went into Accounting like that. Why wouldn’t he go for Literature? He loved the book club you were both in! Satoru insists he was only doing it to get girls, though).
He starts clinging to you again in that weird way (he is totally not drunk enough to need it), where he rests some weight on you but not too much, at an awkward angle since he’s so stupidly tall.
It’s just enough for you to stagger with him to his dorm room, shoving the door open while he snickers at your fumbling – “Thanks for the help, Satoru.” “You’re welcome! Aren’t I just the best?” – like some prince on his throne.
You shove him in, utterly impatient, and groan when his hand finds your arm and pulls you in with him.
Satoru spins around once like the pretty princess he is, laughing to himself, smelling like ozone again as the arousal hits your senses. But he must not notice the surprise on your face, because he reaches out a hand towards you, beckoning while you back towards his bed.
Maybe he is more drunk than you thought, if he was this turned on –
Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait wait. WAIT!
Your mind is racing ahead, thoughts flooding your synapses, eyes wide as you inhale again and detect the same thing.
The scarf. It’s there, in the corner of your eye.
It doesn’t smell like you anymore. It’s crumpled up in a corner, unmistakably dirtied.
He jerked off on it. He totally fucking jerked off on it. The scarf is literally crusted with his cum. THE FUCK???
It wouldn’t have been weird, just gross, but this isn’t Satoru’s scarf and Satoru knew that. There was no way he’d missed that it smelled like you! It might have even smelled like you when he was jerking off into it!
Did he – why would he –
If he wanted it to smell like him, why jerk off on it? He could just wear the damn thing! Actually, he had one that already smelled like him! And he gave it to YOU! Why???
The uncomfortable feeling in your chest churns harder.
You’re insane. You must be going completely insane.
The sock. No fucking way. There’s no fucking WAY. That would be so gross. Your insides are churning, hot and roiling with something and you just. There’s no way.
That’s the only explanation, because when you open your mouth, you actually say.
“Gojo did you – did you steal my sock? And my scarf?” Your voice gets higher in pitch, “And then jerk off on them?”
You’re definitely going insane, because the Satoru giggles like a kid caught with his hands in the candy jar. Maybe he really did get totally fucking smashed at the get-together. Maybe he’s been getting smashed these whole past few fucking weeks!
“Haha, yeah! I’m in rut, you can’t blame me,” He whines like he totally expects to be excused of this one little slip-up, like jerking off into an article of clothing that smelled like you was just boys being boys or some crap from high school, “And – hey! Don’t call me Gojo!”
He’s – he’s in rut? Had that been why all this weird shit was happening to you? He was just doing some weird alpha crap, and it was getting to you because you could smell it?
A groan escapes you. “Satoru.” Why does he light up when you say his name like that? Why does your chest feel so fucking – “Go sober up and pass out. I’m going home.”
You need to get out of here, before this shit gets to you any more. Satoru doesn’t know he can affect you with this. It’s never affected you before.
Your face is hot. So, so hot.
“Don’t leave.” The words sound like a whimper, like a wail, so impossibly morose. He’s on his knees already in front of you, pawing at you with both hands, clinging. “Don’t leave. Stay with me.”
Crystal blue eyes gazing up at you, wide and tearful. Cheeks still flushed a little pink. Moonlight from the window filtering over his lovely features. Lust in the air, radiating off him, seeping into you with every breath.
He’s so pretty. Satoru’s always been the most beautiful person you know. He’s in rut, and he wants you to stay, and it shocks you how a thrill runs through you at the thought. Desire molten in your chest, dripping down to your core.
“You’re in rut, and you’re drunk – ”
“Even I’m not drunk off one strawberry daiquiri,” And though you’d like to deny it, if Satoru’s sober enough to snark at you, he’s probably not that drunk. Which means this is all his rut – “And god, I’ve wanted you so fucking long. Rut’s just made it worse.”
The words should feel like they’re shattering you. Like decades of friendship are teetering on the balance, on a tightrope over one stupid night of drinks.
Instead you just feel hotter than ever. Every breath tells you what it had been telling you from the beginning, what you were just too blind to see. Desire. Lust. Want.
“I thought we were just friends,” You say quietly, like it’s some confession.
He stands up so he can cup your face, tilt it so your gaze meets his. “It’s okay if you don’t – if you’re not – you know. If it’s too much right now. I was too pussy to say it for a long time, I just scented you, and hung out with you, and whatever else you’d let me, but…”
“How long? I know you didn’t like me in high school.”
“I fucking loved you in high school, I was just a huge dick. You know that.” Those pretty eyes look down, only for a moment, “Back then, I didn’t want to fuck you. Doesn’t mean I didn’t love you to death. Still do.”
“But you want to – ”
“Yeah, I super wanna fuck you now.” He looks back at you with that stupid pretty face and that stupid charming grin, way more cheerful than it has any business being, “But you know, you’ll always be my best friend, right? My number one. If I need to spend a hundred years convincing you that I’ll be the best boyfriend ever, that’s fine.”
A hundred years? You’d dare him to last a hundred seconds without whining for what he wants like the spoiled brat he is.
But his eyes are so bright, and you can smell how much he wants you. He wants you that much and he says this.
“I’ll be so good,” He purrs, arms wrapping around you and bringing you closer to him, “The best. I’m pretty, you know. And I’m rich. I’ll go out on dates with you all the time, my treat, and kiss you, and hold your hand, and you can wear my clothes, it’ll be so great – ”
Satoru starts stepping backwards, dragging you with him towards the bed as he moves.
You chuckle. “Thought about this a lot, have you?”
“Every minute of every day. Half of it I’ve been doing already.” He reaches the bed and turns you so your back is facing it. Pushes you gently to sit.
Satoru gets on his knees in front of you again, and your heart skips a beat. You’re starting to think it’s a good look on him. But his eyes are wicked, his grin feral, pheromones suffocating you in the next breath before he speaks.
“I know you want me too. Let me eat you out.” He’s already taking off his shirt, like he knows what it does to you when you see him shirtless.
Even in high school, that lean, swimmer’s body had left you flustered. Satoru’s always been like that, so effortlessly perfect looking, so unashamed at being seen. He grins at the feeling of your eyes on him, you think he’s even posing a little bit, the diva.
“Yeah, you like that? ‘Course you do. Best alpha around.” His gaze peeks up at you through lowered white lashes, “I’m something special, aren’t I? It’s all yours, baby. All for you.”
God, he’s so beautiful. You’re so weak for him. That hopeful smile makes your heart tremble. He’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, ethereal with his white hair and shimmering blue eyes and lean, muscled body, and it’s all for you, all yours, baby.
“Satoru…” For a moment, you truly can’t believe this is actually happening.
And then a large, warm hand finds its way into one of yours, threading between your fingers, an easy smile on his lips as he looks up at you. This is him, your best friend. Satoru. Your Satoru.
He nuzzles his head against your legs, digging underneath your pants with impatient fingers, “Say you want me, just say it. I’ll make you feel so good.”
“Why – why are you asking all the sudden?” Your will to resist him is dropping exponentially and you’re pretty sure he knows it. “Why now?”
“Why right now? I’ve been dying for you since my rut began, and finally got myself a dose of liquid courage.” He brings your hand up to his face, kissing over your knuckles. “But if you want to know why I want you… It just happened. Woke up one day wanting you and it never went away.”
“Wanting to fuck me, or wanting to date me?” You’d never thought Satoru would want you. It just seemed so impossible. “I’m a beta, it’s not like I can help your rut.”
Your hand is pressed against the front of his pants, unbearably hot, bulging outward. His fingers trapping your palm against it. It’s like you can feel him pulsing through the fabric. A knot big enough to break you.
There’s a part of you that’s thrilled at the idea, that makes you clench and think I could take it, makes you want to try and shove it inside, but you fantasized enough about Geto and his knot in high school to know. It would be sexy for about three seconds, and then it would just hurt.
Not the good kind of hurt. The kind of hurt that leaves you hyperventilating, snot and tears crying as you panic over the possibility of an embarrassing ER visit, wondering if you’ve actually ripped something down there, it hurts that much.
“It’s all for you, babe, whether or not you want it. It’ll always be for you.” Satoru purrs, leaning close enough that you can feel his breath on your face, “I’d take your hands over any omega’s pussy any day. Fuck, please, just spit on it, I could cum from that, you know?”
You giggle, bewildered and unreasonably turned on. “You sure you’re not still that stupid horny alpha boy from high school?”
Satoru leans forward so his chin rests on the edge of the bed, looking up at you from between your legs. You become explicitly aware of the wetness growing against your panties.
“Nope. Stupid horny high school me didn’t know shit. This is your modern Satoru Gojo, older and wiser and better than ever.” His eyes sparkle at you. Hand squeezing yours. “Let me? Please, please, let me?”
“Yeah,” the word leaves you like a sigh, from you and from Satoru, “You talk a big game, Satoru. Just try and make me cum.”
You don’t know why you make it out to be a challenge. It’s not easy to make you cum, but it’s not this impossible task either. He’s a clever boy, he can figure it out.
Step one he’s clearly got down perfectly, tugging your pants and panties down in a move so fast it tugs into your knees. You don’t have time to move for him before he lifts your legs for you, dragging your clothes entirely off in one swift, merciless movement.
Oh. You are wet. Your face heats up, and it doesn’t get better because then he grabs your thighs and tugs them apart, spreading you and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed, where his face is.
“Okay baby,” He whispers against your cunt, breath hot against you, “One last time. Show me how you touch yourself, show me what you like.”
One last time?
God, you should have known this idiot would need pointers. Even if it was a perfectly reasonable ask.
“Sure, since you need it so much.” You mutter, mostly at the heat on your cheeks, the wiggling feeling in your chest at the way his eyes roam over you, following your hand down between your legs.
Something hot and slimy meets your fingers as soon as they get close, and you nearly yelp –
“Just helping,” Satoru’s got that awful self-satisfied look on his face, and he licks your fingers again, like he wants to suck on them, “Get you nice and wet, first, should never go in dry baby.”
At least he had that much sense. It’s hampered by the fact that he’s talking to you like he knows shit.
“Excuse me, this is still my pussy,” Covering your mortification at touching yourself to an audience with words, you dip your fingers into your entrance just to wet them up some more.
“Not for long,” He grumbles. What? “Just show me how you like it.”
“I’m trying!” You press against your clit from the side, rubbing against it indirectly, leaning into the sensation until you feel pleasure pooling from each press. “No thanks to… the peanut gallery over here.”
Satoru does shut up for a moment, and you try not to think about how it’s because he’s staring intently at your sex, like he’s about to take notes on it or some shit.
Fuck, fuck, he’s so stupidly pretty. You can feel yourself getting wetter at the thought of those beautiful eyes on you. Curse your terrible fucking taste.
You focus on the presses, speeding them up just enough to not be too much, increasing how far you press in, just a little more, moving your hips to nudge yourself into it –
“Okay, enough.” A larger hand snatches your wrist, pulling it away. Your huff is nothing short of indignant and half-disbelieving. But then again, what had you been expecting? “I got it. No more touching yourself.”
The way he says it, blue eyes darkening, sounds a little more serious than it should. Voice a little lower. Scent dusting the air with something powerful, authoritative, distinctly alpha.
He doesn’t mean…
The thought is interrupted by the sensation of his mouth, warm and wide and open against you, so sudden that you cry out with the heat of it. Wet and welcoming.
His hair threads through your hands. It’s soft, so soft. Like feather down, fluttering at your fingertips. In the pale light pouring through the dorm window it shines like starlight. Something heavenly and pure and right there for you to hold.
Even when your hands fist in it, Satoru just moans, rumbling against your cunt as he lapped against it, drawing you dangerously close to the edge.
Those lips, those pretty, pouty lips, pressing tight against your clit while his tongue works over you. Smooth muscle laving over slick flesh, slipping through your folds.
A naughty dip into your entrance that makes you squeak, just exploring. Tracing along the edge, darting in to sample.
When he pulls away, mouth sinfully wet and shiny with strings of arousal, Satoru meets your eyes directly, deliberately. You watch him raise his two index fingers to his lips, open that awful, sultry mouth, and stick them both in.
The way he does it, tongue hanging out and pooling saliva, then laving it over his fingers, you almost expect him to start moaning like a pornstar.
He’s too dumb to do that, though, and instead closes his mouth around his fingers, sucking on them, and pulling them out with an exaggerated pop!
Yeah, that’s your Satoru. Dumbass. You’re horny and amused, and a little bit mad at yourself for it, too.
He catches it when you roll your eyes at him, and sneaks his warm, wet fingertips right up into your entrance while he latches his mouth onto your clit.
The fingers slide in almost too easily, but his are long. It doesn’t take him long to start curling them, dragging them along your walls inside until that, combined with his suckling at your clit, has you whimpering breathlessly, grasping his hair for dear life – it only makes him moan more, and that only makes sparks of pleasure dance up your already tight, throbbing core.
And it’s annoying, so annoying and so hot and unbearably fucking sexy how he looks up at you right when you’re at the edge, like he knows.
Free hand tightening on your thigh like he’s got to keep you from running away from him, pressing his tongue into your clit.
Rubbing it tightly like he fucking knows exactly how hard it sends you spiraling, panting and wide-eyed as you stare down at the beautiful man eating you out like you’re his last meal ever.
You can barely breathe for the way it takes you, hard and fast, flooding you all at once. Blood soaring with every heartbeat, pressure unfurled into ecstatic currents that ripple out from your core, through your whole body.
Satoru suckles on your clit gently, somehow in perfect time with the waves of pleasure that rush over you, making each one crest just a little bit higher than it should.
He never takes his eyes away from yours. He stays like that, softening, letting up as your climax abates and your clit starts to tingle, oversensitive.
Of course, when he pulls away, he looks invariably pleased with himself. You’re not going to say this out loud (regrettably, it looks like he knows anyways, somehow, he just knows this shit about you) but he absolutely should be.
It was a rush that went through your whole body. You felt like you were flying, breezing freely through the air with Satoru keeping you light.
“What, you want a medal?” It doesn’t have much bite to it with your voice all low and breathy and sated. Satoru just grins.
You move to lay back, but Satoru catches you, straddling you on his knees so he’s not sitting on you, pulling you forward against him. The bulge at the front of his pants rubbing up against your abdomen.
“If you’re offering a reward for my skills, I know just the thing~” Satoru sings.
Utterly cheeky of him, to spring this on you while you’re still in the afterglow. “Satoru...”
"Can I put it in? Please please let me put it on, I promise I'll be so good – "
You smack him upside the head, even though his whimper makes you feel both guilty and horny. Extremely horny, actually. He looks really cute, pouting like that, lips pursed like you really hurt him oh so bad. Like a dog that’s been scolded for something it doesn’t understand.
And maybe he is, with the rut in his brain. Stupid and horny and helpless to refuse you because of it, filled with nothing but the need to please you – every thought flowing through your head starts trickling between your thighs.
"No fucking way Satoru, you know I'm not built for that."
Then he whines, wide eyes looking up at you pleadingly, and you actually feel yourself dripping, clenching, ready for him again when you just came moments ago. Cunt aching for the warmth of him.
God, leave it to Satoru to turn you on so much your dumb ass is willing to even entertain the idea of knot training. He’s in rut. You’re just horny and too dumb to have learned your lesson about pining for alphas in high school.
"Not this time. I need practice." You feel yourself flushing even though it's your own suggestion.
He grins, all teeth and hunger. Eyes bright with something that makes your heart flutter.
"Not this time,” he agrees, “I'll train you. Stretch you nice and slow. Over and over and over again until you can take it without hurting. I’ll train you until you are made for it, made for me, won’t put it in until you’re begging. My omega.”
When did you say he would be training you? And why do his words send liquid fire running through your core?
“Not an omega, Satoru.”
“You’ll be mine.” Triumph laces his voice, “I’ll treat you so nice, I’ll make you feel so good, you’ll never want any knot but mine.”
Now he’s just going full alpha brain, “I didn’t want any knots in the first place!”
“You’ll want mine.” He says it with an utter confidence only Satoru Gojo can possess, “You’ll love it. I’ll make you love it. I’ll be so good for you, I’ll be the best alpha, you’ll never have to make yourself cum again.”
And god, good god, how can he go from puppy dog eyes to proud alpha crowing in the blink of an eye? You just told him you didn’t want his knot! And you only half meant it! God!
“We’ll see about that,” Grumpy, flushed, that’s all you manage, and you’re not even that upset about it.
He rubs up against you like a cat, purring, “I’ll make it good for you, baby, I’ll take care of you.”
Then you should take care of him, this time.
“Go get your toy, Satoru.” You tell him like you’re telling a dog to go fetch.
And he does, all eager and grinning as he darts towards a shelf, tugging a toy out of the drawer. It’s literally huge, enough that you might not be able to encircle it with two hands.
“Not as good as you,” He whines as he grabs the lube. You roll your eyes because he’s had none of you yet, “Wouldn’t be as good as you, any of you. You’ll use it on me yourself, at least, right?”
“Yeah, I’m using it on you, dumbass,” You fix him with a look, and he holds your gaze with a pout, “And get used to the idea.” God, you’re flushed again, this is all just so… eugh. “…Cause… you know. We’ll have to go through a lot of knot toys with me, so…”
There’s a spring in his step all the sudden, thrilled at the thought. Brightening as soon as you say “Yeah” – God, was Satoru always this easy?
He lays the toy on your lap like he really is a dog going to fetch, the awful terrible idea you were thinking of comes into shape.
It’s so embarrassing, just the thought makes you feel so… presumptuous, like you’re assuming so much about something you barely understand.
But he wants you. He said he wants you. So you do it.
Flushed, reaching between your legs (the audacity of him to whine and try to tug your hand away), you gather up your own slick and cum and other fluids, cupping them in your fingers.
Satoru’s eyes dilate, face blank with his staggered breath, as he watches you smear it all over the toy, particularly at the entrance. You squirt in a portion of the lubricant, too, reaching in and spreading it with your other hand. This should feel gross. This is super gross.
You’re so fucking wet. You could put even more on it. But something tells you Satoru would prefer that elsewhere.
“Come on, then. You bragged about it so much.” You look at him, eyes half-lidded, lips curled upwards as you loom over the fleshlight. “Show me the goods, alpha.”
With a fast breath he nearly rips his pants and boxers off, cock springing free of its confines and – oh. Oh. Yeah, you were definitely not getting that inside you tonight, not in any universe. But the thought of it makes your thighs clench reflexively.
It’s a pretty cock, too. All red and flushed, dripping and swollen at the tip. Long, unreasonably so, even with the heavy knot at the base. And this is before it’s expanded.
No wonder the toy’s so big.
You scoot back on the bed, legs spread wide, and you pat between them. Satoru’s taller than you, bigger than you, and you quickly realize this isn’t going to work with you sitting behind him, even if he wriggles happily when his chest presses to your back.
(You file this information to use against him one day, though. Satoru would probably melt if you let him be the little spoon.)
Spinning, you move so that you’re straddling his lap. Satoru seamlessly scoots back, giving you enough space to rest yourself on his thighs and trap his cock between the two of you.
You look at his (unfairly pretty) face. Back down at his dick. At his face again, where he’s smiling an awful, conspiratory sort of smile. All but vibrating with excitement.
When you spit on his dick he moans like he nearly is going to cum, and your cunt clenches at the sound. He wasn’t joking, was he?
Your hand darts down between your legs, and Satoru’s eyes darken at the sight, growling. The same hand quickly wraps around his cock, slick with your arousal. Satoru gives a shuddering gasp at the sensation, hips jerking into it. Everything he does has you getting wetter, it’s effortless for him.
And he knows it, too, smells it, because even while he’s catching his breath he gives you that terrible charming smirk that has you burning in the pit of your stomach. So annoying. Your hand tightens and he makes the most pitiful whimper.
You’re hit with the sudden and very real desire to take a bite out of him.
Pretty boy. Pretty boy, all for you, naked and bare in front of you, aching and whining for you to do with him as you please. You think you even see him drooling a little.
You take his lips instead, face tilted upwards as you press your mouth into his, like you can drink him up if you stick your tongue far enough into his mouth.
He’s sweet, because of course he is. A little strawberry, the faintest touch of alcohol.
Your teeth close on his lips, tender, soft, yielding. It’s so easy just to clench down, hard, while your hand pumps his cock some more, and it throbs, violently, as the taste of blood fills your mouth. He moans into it, tongue sliding, dancing against yours like he wants to lick you up.
He’s panting, still, when you pull away. Lips red and swollen and bleeding.
Satoru grins at you, bent over, eyes glittering. Wiping blood from the corner of his lovely mouth.
It’s not enough to bite him. You want to devour him whole. You want him to be yours. You want to see him cum.
“Say my name.”
You hear it.
You fit the toy on top of him, and his hands dart towards you, grasp you with deceptive firmness, like you’re all that can anchor him. His nostrils flare as he slides into the toy lubed up with your own fluids, taking in the scent of you.
He’s probably smelling how wet you are. You slam it down, all the way to the knot, to wipe that stupid smirk on his face.
It works. Now his eyes are wide with shock, mouth gaping open, a noise like a squeak emerging from him as he squeezes his eyes tight, hips squirming uselessly to fit more of himself in.
Delight, wicked and thrilling, lances through your chest at the sight of him. Face flushed, eyes squeezing as he fights to keep them from closing, lips in a wide “O” like some kind of pornstar. God, he’s just too fucking hot.
Without thinking you bring your other hand to his lips, and Satoru closes his mouth around your wet fingers and moans. His half-shut eyes flutter at you, like he’s trying to tease you. Tongue threading between your fingers, cheeks going hollow as he sucks them clean.
His hips thrust up, eager, and he whimpers again. “Say it again.”
Your name, again, warbled around the fingers in his mouth as you twist the toy around him. You press it against his knot just for a moment.
“This is for me, you said?” You pull your fingers away, pull the toy up, and he whines at the absence, like the drama king he is, “You’re hard just for me? A beta?”
When he opens that unthinkably sexy, sultry mouth of his, you slam it back down again. It hits his knot and you bear down, “Ah – hahhh – ahhh~”, and god, your heart is racing and he’s only halfway in.
“Fuck,” He sobs, “Fuck, yes, please – ”
It’s hard to pull it up after that, his knot swelling and throbbing and Satoru squirming like some kind of desperate whore. Clawing at your shoulders as you pull the toy up again.
He keens when your hands leave him, only to brighten visibly as you tug your shirt and bra off. Oh, he’s lost all coherence but he can still cheerfully ogle you, huh?
One of his hands reaches for your breast, mindlessly squeezing. It’s so large he can hold it in his entire hand, and you watch his eyes dilate as he tries to buck up for more stimulation.
You reach back, pumping him again, and you keep pressing it down against his knot, shoving it a little further each time. His words are senseless, mumbles and mutterings, and his eyes don’t leave your body for a moment, like he’s drinking you in.
When you reach the widest part of his knot he actively wails, seizing you at the waist and digging his nails into you, and it burns like hot lines of pleasure over your skin. He’s shuddering now, all lean muscle and powerful form turned to a shivering mess before you, for you.
“Just a little more,” You breathe, “Almost there, baby. You’re gorgeous, so fucking beautiful,” a heavy SHOVE and Satoru cries out as his knot finally slips in.
The breath he lets out is pure relief and yearning tied in one. It’s harder to push down now with him lodged in it. His hands loosen around you, gaze going unfocused, and he mumbles something you can’t quite make out. His hands paw at you, like a blind man groping in the dark.
He’s really, really pretty like this. Needy, teary-eyed, desperate like a dog.
While you work the toy in short strokes, your other hand reaches up to his well sculpted chest, to the supple flesh of his pecs where you dig your nails into, just to hear him whine. To watch a streak of red mark where you draw your nails across him.
When you scratch across his nipple he whimpers again, hips shuddering so much it’s hard to keep the toy on him. His face flushes even harder, eyes trembling, grasping at you with quivering hands.
His abs, perfect like the rest of him, tighten, clenching up. His thighs clench up, too, and you see him actually thrust up into the toy, eyes wild with need. Satoru finally gets a grip on you, and he leans in, too, shoving his face into your neck.
It takes you a moment, pumping to toy to make sure he doesn’t lose his peak, for you to realize he’s smelling you. Taking long, deep breaths of your scent, shuddering like a man who’s found his paradise.
You lean your head to the side, just a little, just to meet his eyes. He looks up at you, he smells you; enraptured, delighted, desperately aroused by the sight of him.
“Say my name,” You beg him, “Satoru, say my – ”
He cums with a cry of it, a wail, and you realize what he’d been mumbling before. Shaking in your arms.
There’s something feral in your chest, something about him in this state that drives you absolutely mad. You keep pumping the toy, even just a little bit, hard friction against his swollen knot, the cum that must be hot and packed against him now.
He wheezes, delirious, and you think for a moment he sounds like a dog toy. You think you want to make him your dog toy. Squeaking while you squeeze him, with your hands, your mouth, your cunt.
He’s too pretty like this, too perfect. All yours, he’d said, and now he’s crying on your shoulders, shuddering with the strength of his climax.
“My alpha,” You coo, breathless, “Only for me.”
Satoru nods dumbly, pretty lips wedged apart, eyes bleary. Pressing a kiss to your neck, licking mindlessly at it. His skin is hot, like all the rest of him, flushed from his release.
You want to give him more. You want to mess him up. You want to fuck him up, take a bite out of him for everyone so everyone sees a piece missing, a piece that belongs only to you. You want to see him cry.
So you pull away to get a better look, but he clings to you. When you push him it feels like trying to tear your own heart out, so you let him kiss and suck against you until he’s kissing up to your lips.
Pretty white lashes fluttering while he nips at your lips, gentle as a kitten with tearstained cheeks.
Then he pulls back on his own and grins at you, so cocky you forget he cried at all.
The toy can’t come off him, locked where it is until the knot goes down, but that doesn’t seem to stop him in the slightest.
“I can smell you,” He pants, “I can smell it. You’re ready for me? Got so turned on by fucking me with that toy, huh?”
There’s heat in his eyes, a wicked smile tracing at his lips, but you meet his gaze with your own fire. “So turned on. You looked so pathetic and pretty, whining and bucking into that toy like a desperate whore. If you’d moaned any sluttier, Satoru, I would have creamed my panties.”
His laugh is almost a howl, “Hahaha! Yeah! Just for you, baby.” He leans in to steal a kiss, “A slut for you. Let me show you just how slutty I can be, I can fuck you so so good baby.”
Your laugh is cut off by his fingers prodding at your mouth, “Spare some spit for your slut, yeah?”
The look you give him, like you’re telling him off while trying not to laugh, sends a shudder of emotion through him that you can’t identify.
You use the moment to open your mouth wide, letting your tongue loll out. Transfixed blue eyes follow your tongue dragging up his fingertips, how you drool on them, moving down and then drawing it up again to wet them.
Satoru makes a little noise and twitches and you know the toy has just milked another little squirt of cum out of him. Maybe knots are kinda cute.
And then he looks back into your eyes. Quick as a whip, closes his mouth around your fingertips, rolling his eyes back with an exaggerated moan, and he’s so fucking stupid and you’re so turned on you actually feel yourself throbbing. Your hands dart down to feel it.
Well, you’d known you were wet, but this was just embarrassing. Worse, since he could smell it.
“I’ve got you. Let me have you, I’ve got you. Leave it to your alpha.”
“Really big words from a guy who was crying when I pumped him with a fleshlight.”
Satoru doesn’t balk, he only grins. With teeth. “You bet I did, baby. Fucked me so good,” he purrs, rubbing up against you again, moving you so you’re sitting on the bed once more, “And I got you all hot and bothered, didn’t I? So let me take care of that for you.”
God, he really knows no shame at all. No wonder he didn’t bother to smother his moans. He knew what they did to you. He always knew what he did to you.
Except, you suppose, with the pheromones that are telling you right now to lie down and let him eat you into oblivion.
Your fingers draw up to your clit, gently pulsing again at the hungry look he’s giving you.
He bats your hands away from your cunt, “I told you I’d take care of you. Spoil you so good. You’ll never touch what’s mine again.”
“What’s yours?”
“You are, baby, all of you. Shouldn’t touch my cunt unless I say you can, that’s my job. Don’t tell me you think I can’t make you feel good?” His eyes sparkle in challenge, teeth bared in a grin.
That’s like, an under-negotiated kink or something. He totally doesn’t own you. He definitely can’t tell you not to touch yourself.
God, it’s such a fucking turn on. Every word has your cunt throbbing harder. It’s probably just dirty talk. Right?
“What,” You drawl, but your breaths are getting shorter as his fingers find their way inside you again, “Can you take responsibility for that, huh, Satoru?”
“I’ve never wanted to take responsibility for anything more in my life.” His fingers delve deeper, thumb rubbing over your clit.
You choke out a laugh, legs quivering. “Not a high bar.”
“It’s okay,” He steals another kiss before he falls off the bed and onto his knees again for you, “I told you, I can do it. You don’t need to touch yourself ever again. I’ll do it all. You shouldn’t have to rely on anyone but your alpha.”
“Ah,” Fuck, you really can’t speak at all, but – but every word is turning you on more, pulsing, pulsing, blood flowing down to the throbbing mess between your legs, “Ah – f-fuck! You don’t mean that, Satoru.”
Another breath, and then you continue, “What, are you really going to drop everything just to – to get between my legs – whenever I want to cum?”
Satoru groans like a broken man. “Please.”
His thumb is replaced on your clit with his tongue, just the right heat and slickness you were craving. Every lap sends your tender nerve endings throbbing. Thighs shaking. Close now.
“If I – if I ever want to touch myself, I just call you, you’ll come racing? Make use of that pretty face – hng, whenever I want? If I ever want to shut you up, I just sneak my hands beneath my panties – ”
The sound that comes from him sounds like it could be a sob, his hands wrap around your legs, seizing them in place as he abandons everything that’s not sucking your soul out through your clit, and fuck, fuck, how is he so perfect at this –
It comes, knocking the breath out of you, leaving you gasping. The heavy tug between your legs finally overwhelming your senses until everything just feels so good.
You reach out, groping numbly until you feel his soft hair in your hands, no strength left to squeeze.
Heat rocks through you, racing up your spine, swelling and swelling until you’re just warm everywhere, limbs tingling with a pleasant, blissful sort of numbness.
A hand settles over yours, large, heavy, and unbearably tender.
Every breath is orgasmic on its own, air flowing through you, heat radiating outwards until you feel it dissipate away gently.
Satoru’s moved you, slid you to lay on the bed while he sits over you. You don’t know when he did that, didn’t feel it.
It doesn’t matter. His hand threads through yours, and you watch him raise it up to kiss it again, lashes fluttering, lips still wet with your cum. There’s this look on his face, reverent and desperate, like he still can’t believe he’s gotten this lucky.
Finally, you see the toy slipping off, and with it, a gush of cum, sticky and trailing from his wet, stinging cock. He hisses at the exposure to open air. You’d honestly just tell him to put it in you if you weren’t worried he’d knot you in his sleep.
Satoru settles beside you, arms wrapped around your form, face buried in your neck.
“Love you.” You feel it more than you hear it, mouthed against your neck, “Love you so much.” A drop of wetness on your throat. “Love you, love you, love you… never leave me, please, never… love you so much.”
His fangs glance over your throat, where no mark they leave will ever stick.
Your heart spills out of your chest a little, through your mouth.
“I love you, Satoru,” You murmur, “I’m a beta, I can’t give you what an omega can, I…” Old wounds, all healed over and aching. “But I’ll give you what I can. If you want it.”
Arms squeezing you. His teeth turn into a kiss, up, up, up your jawline until he’s face to face with you.
“I want it,” He says, eyes shimmering as he leans in to claim your lips. “I’ll always want it. Always you.”
-
Hours ago
“So are you guy still friends?” Suguru asks, sipping his beer, “You were such a bitch about them in high school. I almost thought you wanted to date them, but with them being a beta and all…”
Satoru groans. “Don’t remind me. I mean, I get how I was in high school, but they liked you, didn’t they? So they’re definitely into alphas.”
“They were. Maybe we permanently turned them off,” he snickers, drawing another groan from Satoru, “What changed, anyways? Why do you want to get with them now?”
“I dunno, man.” Gojo sips at his drink. “It was like one day I was walking them to campus, and they were showing me this picture of a white cat with blue eyes. And they were smiling while they said It’s you, Satoru! and I was about to tell them to shut up but my chest just… exploded.”
“No way. That’s what got to you?” A smile plays on Suguru’s lips, “Do you still have the picture?”
“Shut uuuup. Anyways, I thought about it later and I thought, I want to walk with them every morning for the rest of my life. I want to never go a day without talking to them, or hanging out with them. Want to crawl in their silly little beta brain and live there rent free for the rest of my days.”
Satoru never paid rent to live in anyone’s head, and he lived in everyone’s. “Who’s to say you don’t already?”
“Not like I want to. I want them to think about me all the time, like I think about them. I want them to feel like they’ll die if they don’t see me every day."
His eyes shine with something dark and blue. "I want them to be all mine and no one else’s. I want them to think of me whenever they want something, come to me for everything.”
It’s as good as a love confession, coming from an alpha. Satoru doesn’t have to say it – Suguru knows what it means.
“So… have you told them?”
He startles when Satoru bangs his head on the table. “I wish! It’s like there’s nothing I can do to get them to look at me!”
"So... you haven't said anything, and you're just complaining that they aren't throwing themselves into your arms?"
"Exactly!" Satoru huffs, "I can tell I've gotten to them a little recently, too! We spend like, every waking moment together, and they let me. Why won't they just ask me out already? It's been months, I don't want to spend another rut alone!"
That actually is impressive, coming from Satoru. Back in high school, he would never spend his rut alone, until he and Suguru got close.
Suguru’s chuckle is nothing short of sinister, “God, you’re such a whiny bitch. Can’t believe you didn’t present as an omega.”
“Oh, fuck off.” He snarls, taking another swig of his fruity cocktail. Suguru wonders idly if he knows how much alcohol is in that.
“Sometimes I honestly thought you liked them back in high school, you were so damn clingy all the time. Total omega behavior. I would scent them for five seconds and you’d throw a total fit.”
The glare, the sudden sharp spike of angry alpha pheromones catches Suguru off guard. “You didn’t mean it, though! They had feelings for you and you knew it, and you didn’t like them back! You think I’m just gonna let you fuck around with my friend like that?”
“Hey, hey,” He shakes his head, like that can get the scent out of his nose. “I would’ve dated them, you know, treated them nice. They were cool, I would have given it a shot with them even if they were a beta. But they were so worried about your feelings, they couldn’t even confess.”
“Would’ve, should’ve, could’ve,” Satoru mumbles into his fruity drink, slumping forwards. “They would always side with you in arguments, too.”
“That was because you were an idiot. Godzilla couldn’t take on an Evangelion in a fight and you know it.”
“Dude, the cable! Literally all he’d have to do is cut the cable! I said this a million times! They were crushing on you, that’s why they said you were right.” His nose crinkles in that unbearably cute way. “The fuck was so great about you anyways? I’m way prettier.”
That makes Suguru laugh out loud. Satoru would know. “I honestly couldn’t tell you, Satoru. You’re pretty even when you sulk.”
“Shut up, asshole. You didn’t deserve them, anyways.”
“Yeah,” He sighs, “I guess I didn’t. You didn’t, either, in case you were wondering.”
“Didn’t fuckin’ ask.” Satoru sounds so pouty that he laughs again.
He gives Satoru’s shoulder a good-hearted slap, drawing out a growl from his friend. “We were a pair of fucking jerks back then, you know that. They should’ve ditched our dumb asses the week we presented.”
“You were a jerk. I never led them on, and it’s not like they noticed the scenting!”
“Heh. God, we got away with so much shit because they were a beta and didn’t know what was going on. Got into a pissing contest over a beta we didn’t even want to fuck.” Suguru sighs with a smile, leaning an arm on the bar. “I guess they were just that good of a friend, huh.”
Satoru bites his lip, resting his face on his crossed arms, laid over the table. “Yeah. The best. The one person I never wanted to lose, no matter what. I was so pissed off that you were stealing their attention when you didn’t even like them back.”
“Yeah. I know why you didn’t follow me when I left.”
Satoru snorts. “Don’t sound so morose. I was upfront with my plans from the beginning, you were the one who chose another path.”
“I thought we were friends, though?” A smile plays over Suguru’s lips. Nostalgic.
“So did they. You ditched them, too.” He glares at Suguru out of the corner of his eyes. “Sure, they were too cowardly to confess to you, but you could’ve said something. You never even told them you could smell it when you turned them on.”
“Ha! Neither did you.”
“Why the fuck would I? That shit pissed me off. You’re not that hot.”
Suguru grins at him, “I’m not? You know, I can smell it when you get hard, too – ”
“Oh, fuck off!”
“If it wasn’t for me, then it must have been for them.”
Surugu knows damn well how many times Satoru got a boner because of him. It gets Satoru all cute and irritable.
“Go fuck yourself, Suguru. You can change the subject all you want, but you still ditched both of us. You think I should’ve ditched them along with you?”
He looks down, at his almost-empty beer. “You think they wouldn’t have followed you, if you followed me?”
Neither of them says anything for a moment. Satoru takes one last drinkof his fruity cocktail. His cheeks are flushed a faint pink; painfully attractive, even now. Prettiest alpha he’d ever seen.
He can’t even deny you deserve an alpha like him.
Beautiful, confident, loyal Satoru, who adored Suguru all throughout high school, but wouldn’t leave you for him.
Satoru who cared way more about protecting your feelings than acting on his own. You who cared more about Satoru’s feelings than your crush.
That’s not the kind of friendship you can get just by being similar, by understanding each other. It’s something you raise by hand. Feed it, shelter it, tolerate it when it throws a fit. Learn with it, grow with it, care for it even when it’s shitty. There’s married couples who don’t try that hard.
If friendship is love, then you and Satoru had been in love for years, and Suguru was just the best friend.
“I texted them.” Satoru blurted out. “They’re picking me up tonight.”
“Oh?” Suguru gives him a sly glance. “You telling me after all these years, you’re finally going to shoot your damn shot?”
A scoff. “Nah. I mean – I told you. I really didn’t have that sort of feeling for them back then.”
“Oh, I know.” He rolls his eyes, “But I figured it was going to end like this when you didn’t follow me. If you weren’t willing to leave them for me, then who would you leave them for?”
“Cut the shit, Suguru. If you love someone you don’t make them choose. Whatever you felt for me, your plans for the future were more important than that.”
Suguru stares at his hands. “Why do you think I didn’t ask you?”
Satoru looks away.
They both know why he didn’t ask.
“Still… you’re not going to shoot your shot?”
The blush on Satoru’s cheeks seems a little redder.
His heart aches, because once upon a time, that look was for him. Little stolen moments in locker rooms or during movie nights. A ghost of a heart that was once his.
“I dunno, man. They’re a beta, and I think our bullshit from high school still has them kinda fucked up. Like, they probably think I’m only into omegas.”
“It’s not like that! You and them just happened to be an alpha and a beta!” Satoru’s words are impassioned – like they get when he’s tipsy, “I just – I just liked you. And now I just like them. Doesn’t matter what they are.”
Three years later, he finally has a confession. It’s a liked rather than like, but at least he’s got the words out of Satoru’s mouth.
You’ll get more than that, he knows. Satoru would move heaven and earth for you.
You’ll get a confession and more, a lot more than a few stolen kisses or heavy petting session here and there, as soon as Satoru’s finished being a huge pussy.
Suguru gets up, glancing at his friend slumped over the counter. Satoru is too busy groaning to see the wistful look on his face, but he does hear his parting words.
“Good luck, Satoru.”
-
You settle into his arms. Warm, fuzzy, sated. Satoru wraps his arms and legs around you like some kind of koala.
He nestles your head under his chin, pulling you tight against him so you can feel his purrs rumbling against you, light and soothing.
The air is full of contentment, the scent of an alpha pleased and purring, every breath warming you down to the bones – even if his body pressed against you does a good enough job of that.
“Mmm…” It’s hard to think, hard to form any words when all you want to do is relax into blissful slumber, “Satoru?”
Your answer is a squeeze, a moment of tightness that leaves you breathless, just for a little instant. No ability to move at all, and even less will to. You’d laugh, if you had the breath for it.
Instead, you hum, “You smell good.”
He purrs harder at that, happy pheromones, a compliment any alpha would be pleased with. Breathing deeply against you, like he wants to take you directly into his bloodstream.
And then, for a moment, he pauses.
“Oh… Hey,” Satoru asks lazily as he snuggles into you, “How did you know about the scarf and the sock?”
He’s going to remind you of how gross and needy he was while you’re all sticky and tired and stuck in bed with you? Typical Satoru.
“Mmmh.” It’s hard to talk, warm and cozy as you are, all nestled against him, “You reek. Probably because of your rut, too… could smell your cum a mile away.”
He hums in acceptance, and settles against you, ready to doze off.
For a moment, he’s silent, leaving the both of you to drift peacefully –
Astarion ponders the differences between wizards and sorcerers. Baldur's Gate 3, Astarion/Tav & Gale/Tav. Tav is a male Drow & a wild magic sorcerer.
+
Prior to his current circumstances, Astarion never gave much thought to the differences between wizards and sorcerers. They both used magic and, because of it, Cazador had forbidden Astarion from targeting either of them. They were too risky, untold power at the ready with just a flick of their wrist, power that they could use to fight back, so they were best left avoided.
Now, though, Astarion ponders the differences as he watches Tav and Gale in camp.
They’ve bunked down for the night at the edge of the Blighted Village. Astarion had anticipated a fight to get through, yet the goblins guarding the entrance had immediately granted access to Tav simply because he was a Drow. Astarion would have preened under such visible deference, but Tav had just stared for a moment at the goblin addressing him before he strode past. Another set of goblins had been similarly deferential, ceding the remains of what seemed to be a house at the southern edge of the village, and there the group had set up for the night.
It hadn’t taken long for Gale to ensare Tav in a discussion about magic, and now the two are by the fire, demonstrating to the other their spellcasting techniques. Even to a casual observer the differences between them would be obvious, yet Astarion has spent a significant portion of the past two centuries studying people, searching for the perfect victims, for the perfect way to lure them into Cazador’s trap.
To him, the differences between Tav and Gale are monumental.
Gale stands mostly upright, his feet planted shoulder width apart. His motions are powerful and precise and clearly practiced for there’s little variation as he repeats certain incantations at Tav’s request.
Tav is different.
If Gale is solid rock, Tav is shifting sand. His feet are apart as well, but his knees are bent and he moves with the motions, as though he were sculpting the magic out of the air.
It’s fluid and flexible, a rushing river to Gale’s still pond.
The differences grow even clearer when they retrieve their respective weapons. Both of them use a quarterstaff, but Gale grips his securely in both hands and brandishes the staff in front of him, making quick, powerful blows that would efficiently stun or trip an enemy.
Tav’s staff swirls around him in swift, graceful arcs. It reminds Astarion of the coin tricks he’s learned over the years, how he can make a copper dance across his knuckles as though it were alive.
Astarion isn’t sure if Tav is the hand or the coin, if he wields the magic or is an expression of it.
At the thought, Tav glances his way.
There’s no time for Astarion to avert his gaze or even to school his features into something arch or wry. Tav has caught him staring, so Astarion holds the stare. And another difference becomes clear. Tav doesn’t question him, doesn’t demand an explanation for the staring or offer one about the lesson. Gale would. Gale would elucidate and pontificate and prattle on and on until Astarion shoved his daggers into his ears to get a moment of peace and quiet.
Tav simply stares.
He stares and then, after a couple of seconds, one corner of his mouth curls into a smile.
Before Astarion can parse the flavor of it, whether it’s pleased or mocking or sly, Tav turns away, back to Gale and their conversation.
Astarion’s hands tighten around his book. For a moment, he contemplates chucking it at the back of Tav’s head. What sort of reaction would he provoke if he did? A lecture, no doubt, from Gale. Disdain from Shadowheart. A cool inquiring gaze from Lae’zel, at least until she realized that a fight was unlikely to ensue and lost interest.
But Tav? Astarion isn’t sure.
So far, he’s persuaded when Astarion thought he would fight. Then he’s deceived when Astarion thought he would persuade. He stood down Kagha when she threatened to kill that tiefling brat for stealing, yet he had Astarion slink around the Emerald Grove to find something, anything, that could be used to unseat her, sending them on this current mission to the southern swamps to find her conspirator.
Flexible, fluid tactics, and all the more dangerous for it.
Hunger flares within Astarion. His gaze drops to the back of Tav’s neck, placed on display for all to see with that ridiculous hairstyle. Only a Drow raised in the Underdark would think that an undercut is the height of style. Though if Gale’s hair were any indication, perhaps the lack of style has less to do with Tav’s race and more to do with his magic. The wizard could manipulate the Weave at his will, but he lacked the ability to effectively use a comb. Tav does at least, his long white hair gathered into a neat, if utilitarian, bun at the back of his head.
Perhaps Astarion could aim for the bun and knock it loose. The strands would tumble free and whip about in the wind.
Perhaps Astarion could grab a fistful of them and yank, pulling Tav’s head back and exposing the graceful line of his neck and-
Astarion shuts his book with a snap. At the sound, Tav looks back at him. Gale does, too, a few seconds later, his gaze following Tav’s. The frown that forms on his face as he spots Astarion is almost enough to satisfy Astarion’s hunger. Twice now Astarion has drawn Tav’s attention away from him, and all without saying a word.
Slowly, gracefully, Astarion rises to his feet. Tav watches him as he does, yet from this distance Astarion can’t discern how, whether it’s with lust or apprehension or simple curiosity.
“Do carry on, darling. I was quite enjoying the show.”
At that, the small smile returns to Tav’s face.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
Astarion flashes him a grin before he turns and saunters away. He had seen boar tracks on the way into the village. That would do for now.
Set in Act I of a Durge run. I used my Durge, Markus (Tiefling, Wild Magic Sorcerer) cause he’s my murder son and I love him.
Warning: Canon divergence, descriptions of gore, allusions to sexual assault, assumed sexual assault (This is told from Astarion’s perspective, and his first assumption is not “oh this weird tiefling who killed a bird has already worked his way up to mortals.”) I think I got Astarion’s thought process but I’m not so sure about his voice? However it is 5 Am and I have been writing this since at least 1:30. All mistakes are my own, cause again, one sitting in the early AM.
@simplyalexeiofficial who posted the initial prompt.
Astarion wakes up from the overwhelming smell of blood as Durge Tav is murdering *the* bard. That’s it. that’s the prompt.
The smell of blood is what shakes him from his trance. It’s living blood, not the subtle rotten stench of dead man’s blood or his own.
While the smell woke him up, it’s the sounds that really grab his attention.
Soft whimpers, harsh breaths, the slick wet sound of something moving through flesh.
Astarion ever so slightly turns his head.
That bard from the grove is whimpering, staring up at Markus wide eyed as the sorcerer crouches over her body.
Astarion rolls his eyes, both for the tieflings’ lack of subtlety and the ineffective angle Markus seems determined to keep.
The sorcerer was already low on the vampire’s list for who to manipulate, he was a bit unsettling, prone to getting lost in his own thoughts, and after he tore that bird to bits with all the glee of a toddler with a new toy, Astarion began thinking Markus might be too volatile.
Yes, an amnesiac sorcerer with wild magics would be a great meat shield in regards to Cazador, but there would be no point if Astarion doesn’t even make it to the gate.
With this new revelation of Markus’s ineptitude in regards to pleasure, the tiefling has been moved to the very bottom, Astarion may have been forced through worse, but he’d like to actually get some enjoyment from the inevitable bedding.
“…please…sto—hap—!”
If he still had blood in his veins, Astarion is sure it would be running cold.
Murderous violence is one thing, one thing Astarion can get behind and indulge in, but this… maybe he should consider going off on his own.
More whimpering, more sounds of flesh.
Then a crack. Astarion’s head jerks back to the scene, that noise could not mean anything pleasant.
The bard’s arm is stretched out towards the fire, towards Astarion, and not only is it covered in blood, there’s an unnatural bend to it.
The girl’s fingers twitch with every regular roll of Markus’s shoulders, the man letting out a few muffled grunts as he roughly pulls at something.
A high pitched wheeze from the girl, Astarion didn’t even bother listening for her name, and then splatter.
Markus stands, and between his legs and the idle back and forth of his tail, Astarion sees what he had been doing.
There’s a morbid relief in the realization the bard’s lower half is still clothed. Even if her trousers are soaked heavy with her own blood.
The sorcerer begins muttering something, an incantation perhaps, his blood soaked hands held above his head.
Astarion looks back down and makes eye contact with the mutilated bard.
Her mouth opens, broken arm shifting as she tries and fails to make a fist, silently, desperately begging Astarion for help.
He stares back at her, eyes wide.
“… accept this offering, Sanguine King, accept my humble apology for my failures.”
Disgust and rage bubble beneath the horror, doing this for a god? The gods never did anything for Astarion, and considering the predicament they are all in, the vampire is confident in his belief that all of his companions have been abandoned by their beloved gods as well.
“Take this paltry flesh, I beg of thee send a sign, I have not strayed, I have not betrayed or abandoned my mission, I beg for nothing but a chance to correct my failures, a chance to bring about the world as I have pledged.”
The bard is still making pathetic attempts to escape, as if her insides pooling around her aren’t an indication for how this will inevitably end.
Markus looks down, head tilting and tail swaying in something like amusement as the girl keeps fighting.
The man shifts his weight and Astarion freezes, even holding his breath, the air stuck in his chest putting pressure against his unbeating heart.
“They can’t help you, even if they found us like this, even if they killed me, there’s no saving you.”
Markus crouches back down, cupping the bard’s cheek to force her to look up.
“You’ve lost too much blood, tissues have already begun necrotizing, sepsis is a terrible way to die, if anything, killing you now is a kindness.”
Astarion’s stomach rolls, Markus sounds kind, his soothing rumble adding an unnerving comfort to his words.
The sorcerer rubs his thumb against the bard’s cheek, like a parent comforting a crying child.
She spits in Markus’s face, or at least she tries to.
The glob of bloody spit doesn’t even disconnect from her lips, barely more than a pathetic bubbling from her mouth.
Markus’s eyes narrow even as his lips quirk up into a forced smile.
With a harsh motion Astarion doesn’t entirely see, Markus does something that makes the bard gasp, her haggard breathes turning into desperate gurgles as her body convulses.
Markus twists his body, giving Astarion a clearer view of the bard’s death throes.
The sorcerer’s arm is buried elbow deep in her stomach, and if the angle didn’t give it away, the unnatural bulging beneath her skin does.
He’s digging in her chest cavity, and with the sudden stiffening of her entire frame, Astarion knows the man has a gotten a hold of her heart.
The air is still, the night silent, and Markus seems to be savoring the sensation of the girl’s heart in his hand.
With a sudden harsh motion, his arm twist, and the bard goes limp.
After another moment of stillness, Markus sighs, arm slowly retreating from the corpse as he stands, the girl’s mangled heart is a lump of torn flesh in his hand.
The tiefling stares down at the body, his expression hidden from view.
Another sigh, less satisfied than the last, and the tiefling begins drawing on the ground around the bard’s body.
Again he stands above the body, hands open at his sides, staring at the sky as he mutters something.
The words are quiet and rushed nonsense, even as Astarion can hear the tiefling’s heartbeat speed up, with the words becoming louder and more slurred.
Until, with a sudden choke, the tiefling stops speaking, obviously panting as he sways in place.
Markus’s head rolls, his swaying becoming even more precarious before suddenly stopping.
The tiefling looks to his hands with a gasp, his tail thrashing as he steps back, another gasp and another more panicked step back that almost knocks the sorcerer onto his ass.
Markus looks around for something, and Astarion wants to roll his eyes at the performance, why waste the energy when, as far as he knows, he’s the only person awake.
———
“Overwhelming violent desires fester in my skull.”
Markus is twitching, his jaw rolling as he picks the drying bits of bird blood and sinew from beneath his claws.
“The norm is to keep dirty thoughts like that to ourselves. But do carry on.”
Suddenly tearing the bird at the infirmary apart may have been a bit concerning, but if this tiefling isn’t just capable of violence, but relishes in it, he may be useful to Astarion.
“A feeling deep inside possesses me and whispers murder, over and over.”
The tiefling bites his nails, a loud crack coming from between his teeth before he spits out the broken off tip of his claw.
Markus sounds shaken, so Astarion tries some sympathy, “It sounds like you’ve been dealt a vile hand…” but not too much sympathy, he can’t dull this potential blade, “I say: Play it. Play it for all it’s worth!”
The tiefling’s tail twitches, the jagged barb flicking back and forth as the smell of ozone slowly grows.
“Nobody should deny themselves of their true nature.”
Markus doesn’t respond, instead wiping his hands down the front of his robes, before he picks at his nails again.
Astarion lays on a bit more concern, Markus needs to think he cares, “But, do take care of yourself.”
Markus grimaces, humming a noncommittal, but affirmative, note.
———
Astarion didn’t consider the possibility of actual possession, but with the way Markus is acting, it’s a possibility he now has to consider.
The tiefling’s panic seems to settle, not entirely, but enough that the man doesn’t look ready to collapse in a panic.
Markus stands over the body, before seeming to make a decision.
He grabs the bard and her measly bedroll, dragging them both away with some effort, but there’s an ease to his movements that imply some familiarity.
Astarion is still staring at where the tiefling vanished into the brush, thinking over his options in regards to the sorcerer.
He can pursue Markus, and hope that the bloodshed of their adventure satiate whatever demands the tiefling kill.
But if he does try, and it doesn’t work, would those violent parts of Markus begin demanding Astarion’s blood?
He needs more information.
There’s a rustling, and Astarion pretends to trance, taking note of the sounds of sloshing water and kicking dirt.
He’s properly trancing again before Markus starts snoring.
———
“Where do you think she went?”
Markus shrugs at Shadowheart’s question, not looking up from the pack he keeps reorganizing.
“Astarion?”
“Not a clue, maybe she wondered off, there are certainly many things capable of mauling you out in the woods.”
Markus pauses for a moment, eyes glancing toward Astarion before quickly returning to the pack.
“Wouldn’t we have heard something?”
“Not if it got her in the throat first.”
“Or if it crushed her lungs.” It’s the first thing Markus has said all morning, and Astarion realizes he doesn’t know which one Markus did.
“Shouldn’t we go looking? What if she’s—“
“We have illithid tadpoles in our heads, we’ve been lucky so far, but I’d rather not tempt fate more than necessary.”
“But she wanted to help!”
“And we told her it was dangerous, and that was taking into consideration all of us, if she decided she knew better, well then who are we to undermine her choices?” Markus’s tone implies finality, and no one else pushes the matter.
As they leave the campsite, Astarion notices a dark red splotch in the dirt. He kicks some loose sand over the spot, not noticing Markus watching him as he does.
Set in Act I of a Durge run. I used my Durge, Markus (Tiefling, Wild Magic Sorcerer) cause he’s my murder son and I love him.
Warning: Canon divergence, descriptions of gore, allusions to sexual assault, assumed sexual assault (This is told from Astarion’s perspective, and his first assumption is not “oh this weird tiefling who killed a bird has already worked his way up to mortals.”) I think I got Astarion’s thought process but I’m not so sure about his voice? However it is 5 Am and I have been writing this since at least 1:30. All mistakes are my own, cause again, one sitting in the early AM.
@simplyalexeiofficial who posted the initial prompt.
Astarion wakes up from the overwhelming smell of blood as Durge Tav is murdering *the* bard. That’s it. that’s the prompt.
The smell of blood is what shakes him from his trance. It’s living blood, not the subtle rotten stench of dead man’s blood or his own.
While the smell woke him up, it’s the sounds that really grab his attention.
Soft whimpers, harsh breaths, the slick wet sound of something moving through flesh.
Astarion ever so slightly turns his head.
That bard from the grove is whimpering, staring up at Markus wide eyed as the sorcerer crouches over her body.
Astarion rolls his eyes, both for the tieflings’ lack of subtlety and the ineffective angle Markus seems determined to keep.
The sorcerer was already low on the vampire’s list for who to manipulate, he was a bit unsettling, prone to getting lost in his own thoughts, and after he tore that bird to bits with all the glee of a toddler with a new toy, Astarion began thinking Markus might be too volatile.
Yes, an amnesiac sorcerer with wild magics would be a great meat shield in regards to Cazador, but there would be no point if Astarion doesn’t even make it to the gate.
With this new revelation of Markus’s ineptitude in regards to pleasure, the tiefling has been moved to the very bottom, Astarion may have been forced through worse, but he’d like to actually get some enjoyment from the inevitable bedding.
“…please…sto—hap—!”
If he still had blood in his veins, Astarion is sure it would be running cold.
Murderous violence is one thing, one thing Astarion can get behind and indulge in, but this… maybe he should consider going off on his own.
More whimpering, more sounds of flesh.
Then a crack. Astarion’s head jerks back to the scene, that noise could not mean anything pleasant.
The bard’s arm is stretched out towards the fire, towards Astarion, and not only is it covered in blood, there’s an unnatural bend to it.
The girl’s fingers twitch with every regular roll of Markus’s shoulders, the man letting out a few muffled grunts as he roughly pulls at something.
A high pitched wheeze from the girl, Astarion didn’t even bother listening for her name, and then splatter.
Markus stands, and between his legs and the idle back and forth of his tail, Astarion sees what he had been doing.
There’s a morbid relief in the realization the bard’s lower half is still clothed. Even if her trousers are soaked heavy with her own blood.
The sorcerer begins muttering something, an incantation perhaps, his blood soaked hands held above his head.
Astarion looks back down and makes eye contact with the mutilated bard.
Her mouth opens, broken arm shifting as she tries and fails to make a fist, silently, desperately begging Astarion for help.
He stares back at her, eyes wide.
“… accept this offering, Sanguine King, accept my humble apology for my failures.”
Disgust and rage bubble beneath the horror, doing this for a god? The gods never did anything for Astarion, and considering the predicament they are all in, the vampire is confident in his belief that all of his companions have been abandoned by their beloved gods as well.
“Take this paltry flesh, I beg of thee send a sign, I have not strayed, I have not betrayed or abandoned my mission, I beg for nothing but a chance to correct my failures, a chance to bring about the world as I have pledged.”
The bard is still making pathetic attempts to escape, as if her insides pooling around her aren’t an indication for how this will inevitably end.
Markus looks down, head tilting and tail swaying in something like amusement as the girl keeps fighting.
The man shifts his weight and Astarion freezes, even holding his breath, the air stuck in his chest putting pressure against his unbeating heart.
“They can’t help you, even if they found us like this, even if they killed me, there’s no saving you.”
Markus crouches back down, cupping the bard’s cheek to force her to look up.
“You’ve lost too much blood, tissues have already begun necrotizing, sepsis is a terrible way to die, if anything, killing you now is a kindness.”
Astarion’s stomach rolls, Markus sounds kind, his soothing rumble adding an unnerving comfort to his words.
The sorcerer rubs his thumb against the bard’s cheek, like a parent comforting a crying child.
She spits in Markus’s face, or at least she tries to.
The glob of bloody spit doesn’t even disconnect from her lips, barely more than a pathetic bubbling from her mouth.
Markus’s eyes narrow even as his lips quirk up into a forced smile.
With a harsh motion Astarion doesn’t entirely see, Markus does something that makes the bard gasp, her haggard breathes turning into desperate gurgles as her body convulses.
Markus twists his body, giving Astarion a clearer view of the bard’s death throes.
The sorcerer’s arm is buried elbow deep in her stomach, and if the angle didn’t give it away, the unnatural bulging beneath her skin does.
He’s digging in her chest cavity, and with the sudden stiffening of her entire frame, Astarion knows the man has a gotten a hold of her heart.
The air is still, the night silent, and Markus seems to be savoring the sensation of the girl’s heart in his hand.
With a sudden harsh motion, his arm twist, and the bard goes limp.
After another moment of stillness, Markus sighs, arm slowly retreating from the corpse as he stands, the girl’s mangled heart is a lump of torn flesh in his hand.
The tiefling stares down at the body, his expression hidden from view.
Another sigh, less satisfied than the last, and the tiefling begins drawing on the ground around the bard’s body.
Again he stands above the body, hands open at his sides, staring at the sky as he mutters something.
The words are quiet and rushed nonsense, even as Astarion can hear the tiefling’s heartbeat speed up, with the words becoming louder and more slurred.
Until, with a sudden choke, the tiefling stops speaking, obviously panting as he sways in place.
Markus’s head rolls, his swaying becoming even more precarious before suddenly stopping.
The tiefling looks to his hands with a gasp, his tail thrashing as he steps back, another gasp and another more panicked step back that almost knocks the sorcerer onto his ass.
Markus looks around for something, and Astarion wants to roll his eyes at the performance, why waste the energy when, as far as he knows, he’s the only person awake.
———
“Overwhelming violent desires fester in my skull.”
Markus is twitching, his jaw rolling as he picks the drying bits of bird blood and sinew from beneath his claws.
“The norm is to keep dirty thoughts like that to ourselves. But do carry on.”
Suddenly tearing the bird at the infirmary apart may have been a bit concerning, but if this tiefling isn’t just capable of violence, but relishes in it, he may be useful to Astarion.
“A feeling deep inside possesses me and whispers murder, over and over.”
The tiefling bites his nails, a loud crack coming from between his teeth before he spits out the broken off tip of his claw.
Markus sounds shaken, so Astarion tries some sympathy, “It sounds like you’ve been dealt a vile hand…” but not too much sympathy, he can’t dull this potential blade, “I say: Play it. Play it for all it’s worth!”
The tiefling’s tail twitches, the jagged barb flicking back and forth as the smell of ozone slowly grows.
“Nobody should deny themselves of their true nature.”
Markus doesn’t respond, instead wiping his hands down the front of his robes, before he picks at his nails again.
Astarion lays on a bit more concern, Markus needs to think he cares, “But, do take care of yourself.”
Markus grimaces, humming a noncommittal, but affirmative, note.
———
Astarion didn’t consider the possibility of actual possession, but with the way Markus is acting, it’s a possibility he now has to consider.
The tiefling’s panic seems to settle, not entirely, but enough that the man doesn’t look ready to collapse in a panic.
Markus stands over the body, before seeming to make a decision.
He grabs the bard and her measly bedroll, dragging them both away with some effort, but there’s an ease to his movements that imply some familiarity.
Astarion is still staring at where the tiefling vanished into the brush, thinking over his options in regards to the sorcerer.
He can pursue Markus, and hope that the bloodshed of their adventure satiate whatever demands the tiefling kill.
But if he does try, and it doesn’t work, would those violent parts of Markus begin demanding Astarion’s blood?
He needs more information.
There’s a rustling, and Astarion pretends to trance, taking note of the sounds of sloshing water and kicking dirt.
He’s properly trancing again before Markus starts snoring.
———
“Where do you think she went?”
Markus shrugs at Shadowheart’s question, not looking up from the pack he keeps reorganizing.
“Astarion?”
“Not a clue, maybe she wondered off, there are certainly many things capable of mauling you out in the woods.”
Markus pauses for a moment, eyes glancing toward Astarion before quickly returning to the pack.
“Wouldn’t we have heard something?”
“Not if it got her in the throat first.”
“Or if it crushed her lungs.” It’s the first thing Markus has said all morning, and Astarion realizes he doesn’t know which one Markus did.
“Shouldn’t we go looking? What if she’s—“
“We have illithid tadpoles in our heads, we’ve been lucky so far, but I’d rather not tempt fate more than necessary.”
“But she wanted to help!”
“And we told her it was dangerous, and that was taking into consideration all of us, if she decided she knew better, well then who are we to undermine her choices?” Markus’s tone implies finality, and no one else pushes the matter.
As they leave the campsite, Astarion notices a dark red splotch in the dirt. He kicks some loose sand over the spot, not noticing Markus watching him as he does.
Set in Act I of a Durge run. I used my Durge, Markus (Tiefling, Wild Magic Sorcerer) cause he’s my murder son and I love him.
Warning: Canon divergence, descriptions of gore, allusions to sexual assault, assumed sexual assault (This is told from Astarion’s perspective, and his first assumption is not “oh this weird tiefling who killed a bird has already worked his way up to mortals.”) I think I got Astarion’s thought process but I’m not so sure about his voice? However it is 5 Am and I have been writing this since at least 1:30. All mistakes are my own, cause again, one sitting in the early AM.
@simplyalexeiofficial who posted the initial prompt.
Astarion wakes up from the overwhelming smell of blood as Durge Tav is murdering *the* bard. That’s it. that’s the prompt.
The smell of blood is what shakes him from his trance. It’s living blood, not the subtle rotten stench of dead man’s blood or his own.
While the smell woke him up, it’s the sounds that really grab his attention.
Soft whimpers, harsh breaths, the slick wet sound of something moving through flesh.
Astarion ever so slightly turns his head.
That bard from the grove is whimpering, staring up at Markus wide eyed as the sorcerer crouches over her body.
Astarion rolls his eyes, both for the tieflings’ lack of subtlety and the ineffective angle Markus seems determined to keep.
The sorcerer was already low on the vampire’s list for who to manipulate, he was a bit unsettling, prone to getting lost in his own thoughts, and after he tore that bird to bits with all the glee of a toddler with a new toy, Astarion began thinking Markus might be too volatile.
Yes, an amnesiac sorcerer with wild magics would be a great meat shield in regards to Cazador, but there would be no point if Astarion doesn’t even make it to the gate.
With this new revelation of Markus’s ineptitude in regards to pleasure, the tiefling has been moved to the very bottom, Astarion may have been forced through worse, but he’d like to actually get some enjoyment from the inevitable bedding.
“…please…sto—hap—!”
If he still had blood in his veins, Astarion is sure it would be running cold.
Murderous violence is one thing, one thing Astarion can get behind and indulge in, but this… maybe he should consider going off on his own.
More whimpering, more sounds of flesh.
Then a crack. Astarion’s head jerks back to the scene, that noise could not mean anything pleasant.
The bard’s arm is stretched out towards the fire, towards Astarion, and not only is it covered in blood, there’s an unnatural bend to it.
The girl’s fingers twitch with every regular roll of Markus’s shoulders, the man letting out a few muffled grunts as he roughly pulls at something.
A high pitched wheeze from the girl, Astarion didn’t even bother listening for her name, and then splatter.
Markus stands, and between his legs and the idle back and forth of his tail, Astarion sees what he had been doing.
There’s a morbid relief in the realization the bard’s lower half is still clothed. Even if her trousers are soaked heavy with her own blood.
The sorcerer begins muttering something, an incantation perhaps, his blood soaked hands held above his head.
Astarion looks back down and makes eye contact with the mutilated bard.
Her mouth opens, broken arm shifting as she tries and fails to make a fist, silently, desperately begging Astarion for help.
He stares back at her, eyes wide.
“… accept this offering, Sanguine King, accept my humble apology for my failures.”
Disgust and rage bubble beneath the horror, doing this for a god? The gods never did anything for Astarion, and considering the predicament they are all in, the vampire is confident in his belief that all of his companions have been abandoned by their beloved gods as well.
“Take this paltry flesh, I beg of thee send a sign, I have not strayed, I have not betrayed or abandoned my mission, I beg for nothing but a chance to correct my failures, a chance to bring about the world as I have pledged.”
The bard is still making pathetic attempts to escape, as if her insides pooling around her aren’t an indication for how this will inevitably end.
Markus looks down, head tilting and tail swaying in something like amusement as the girl keeps fighting.
The man shifts his weight and Astarion freezes, even holding his breath, the air stuck in his chest putting pressure against his unbeating heart.
“They can’t help you, even if they found us like this, even if they killed me, there’s no saving you.”
Markus crouches back down, cupping the bard’s cheek to force her to look up.
“You’ve lost too much blood, tissues have already begun necrotizing, sepsis is a terrible way to die, if anything, killing you now is a kindness.”
Astarion’s stomach rolls, Markus sounds kind, his soothing rumble adding an unnerving comfort to his words.
The sorcerer rubs his thumb against the bard’s cheek, like a parent comforting a crying child.
She spits in Markus’s face, or at least she tries to.
The glob of bloody spit doesn’t even disconnect from her lips, barely more than a pathetic bubbling from her mouth.
Markus’s eyes narrow even as his lips quirk up into a forced smile.
With a harsh motion Astarion doesn’t entirely see, Markus does something that makes the bard gasp, her haggard breathes turning into desperate gurgles as her body convulses.
Markus twists his body, giving Astarion a clearer view of the bard’s death throes.
The sorcerer’s arm is buried elbow deep in her stomach, and if the angle didn’t give it away, the unnatural bulging beneath her skin does.
He’s digging in her chest cavity, and with the sudden stiffening of her entire frame, Astarion knows the man has a gotten a hold of her heart.
The air is still, the night silent, and Markus seems to be savoring the sensation of the girl’s heart in his hand.
With a sudden harsh motion, his arm twist, and the bard goes limp.
After another moment of stillness, Markus sighs, arm slowly retreating from the corpse as he stands, the girl’s mangled heart is a lump of torn flesh in his hand.
The tiefling stares down at the body, his expression hidden from view.
Another sigh, less satisfied than the last, and the tiefling begins drawing on the ground around the bard’s body.
Again he stands above the body, hands open at his sides, staring at the sky as he mutters something.
The words are quiet and rushed nonsense, even as Astarion can hear the tiefling’s heartbeat speed up, with the words becoming louder and more slurred.
Until, with a sudden choke, the tiefling stops speaking, obviously panting as he sways in place.
Markus’s head rolls, his swaying becoming even more precarious before suddenly stopping.
The tiefling looks to his hands with a gasp, his tail thrashing as he steps back, another gasp and another more panicked step back that almost knocks the sorcerer onto his ass.
Markus looks around for something, and Astarion wants to roll his eyes at the performance, why waste the energy when, as far as he knows, he’s the only person awake.
———
“Overwhelming violent desires fester in my skull.”
Markus is twitching, his jaw rolling as he picks the drying bits of bird blood and sinew from beneath his claws.
“The norm is to keep dirty thoughts like that to ourselves. But do carry on.”
Suddenly tearing the bird at the infirmary apart may have been a bit concerning, but if this tiefling isn’t just capable of violence, but relishes in it, he may be useful to Astarion.
“A feeling deep inside possesses me and whispers murder, over and over.”
The tiefling bites his nails, a loud crack coming from between his teeth before he spits out the broken off tip of his claw.
Markus sounds shaken, so Astarion tries some sympathy, “It sounds like you’ve been dealt a vile hand…” but not too much sympathy, he can’t dull this potential blade, “I say: Play it. Play it for all it’s worth!”
The tiefling’s tail twitches, the jagged barb flicking back and forth as the smell of ozone slowly grows.
“Nobody should deny themselves of their true nature.”
Markus doesn’t respond, instead wiping his hands down the front of his robes, before he picks at his nails again.
Astarion lays on a bit more concern, Markus needs to think he cares, “But, do take care of yourself.”
Markus grimaces, humming a noncommittal, but affirmative, note.
———
Astarion didn’t consider the possibility of actual possession, but with the way Markus is acting, it’s a possibility he now has to consider.
The tiefling’s panic seems to settle, not entirely, but enough that the man doesn’t look ready to collapse in a panic.
Markus stands over the body, before seeming to make a decision.
He grabs the bard and her measly bedroll, dragging them both away with some effort, but there’s an ease to his movements that imply some familiarity.
Astarion is still staring at where the tiefling vanished into the brush, thinking over his options in regards to the sorcerer.
He can pursue Markus, and hope that the bloodshed of their adventure satiate whatever demands the tiefling kill.
But if he does try, and it doesn’t work, would those violent parts of Markus begin demanding Astarion’s blood?
He needs more information.
There’s a rustling, and Astarion pretends to trance, taking note of the sounds of sloshing water and kicking dirt.
He’s properly trancing again before Markus starts snoring.
———
“Where do you think she went?”
Markus shrugs at Shadowheart’s question, not looking up from the pack he keeps reorganizing.
“Astarion?”
“Not a clue, maybe she wondered off, there are certainly many things capable of mauling you out in the woods.”
Markus pauses for a moment, eyes glancing toward Astarion before quickly returning to the pack.
“Wouldn’t we have heard something?”
“Not if it got her in the throat first.”
“Or if it crushed her lungs.” It’s the first thing Markus has said all morning, and Astarion realizes he doesn’t know which one Markus did.
“Shouldn’t we go looking? What if she’s—“
“We have illithid tadpoles in our heads, we’ve been lucky so far, but I’d rather not tempt fate more than necessary.”
“But she wanted to help!”
“And we told her it was dangerous, and that was taking into consideration all of us, if she decided she knew better, well then who are we to undermine her choices?” Markus’s tone implies finality, and no one else pushes the matter.
As they leave the campsite, Astarion notices a dark red splotch in the dirt. He kicks some loose sand over the spot, not noticing Markus watching him as he does.
So a few days ago(? Maybe? What is time anymore) an anon sent an ask to a blog I follow ( @absurdthirst ) , the ask was about the Hanahaki trope.
Then I remembered I had some notes about that trope that I never really put together, so here’s this, a bit of fiction, no fandom in mind, about how I think Hanahaki could work.
if i missed a tag go ahead and tell me, ill fix it right up
Florida man hasn't completed any fic in a hot minute... returns with a different fandom and POV style...
Astarion x Dark Urge OC (Markus) a bit that sprouted off from a different fic attempt but felt too different to stay in the other doc... so here it is now, on its own.
no real... anything really, just an interaction as i try and hammer out their whole deal, so two traumatized men who's whole lives have been defined and shaped by violence, trying to figure out how to interact with each other and the rest of the world.
some tweaks to the Durge backstory, and whole deal really. the way the game treats the Urges is... odd, almost like they're a separate thing from your character's thought process at times
oh, implied past Gortash x Durge, but even he isn't completely sure what the exact nature of their relationship used to be.
I'm terrible at naming fics btw, that hasn't changed, suggestions welcome
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We need to talk.”
Markus breathes in, the fact Astarion is initiating heavy conversation is enough of a warning that he shouldn’t try and put this off.
“Okay.”
Markus just keeps scrubbing his clothes, waiting.
“Are you going to even look at me?”
Markus doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t know what to expect, but the waiver in Astarion’s voice, that sliver of fear, it supersedes his own.
Astarion’s shoulders relax just a bit when Markus turns, and the elf takes a few steps forward until he’s standing next to the tiefling.
Markus wrings out his clothes and waits.
“What are we? To you.”
Markus almost giggles, the same words he’s asked the elf a few too many times, to the point Astarion has had to preemptively reassure Markus that yes, what they are is something important and special to him.
“I—“ Markus sighs, dunking his robes in the wash basin, more so a fidget than actual cleaning.
“You, you make me happy, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been happy like this, and that scares the shit out of me.” The admission makes Markus feel raw, like an exposed nerve.
Astarion huffs, and if Markus didn’t know better he’d be hurt by how dismissive it sounds.
“Aroused certainly, annoyed definitely, but happy?” Astarion sounds almost disgusted with the word, “Not usually the feeling people associate with me darling.”
The thing is Markus isn’t even completely certain if what he’s feeling is happiness. Before his memories decided to rush back into place, before Gortash went ahead and talked about their history with vague fondness and some deep tonal implications, he was quite certain what Astarion had him feeling was happy.
But now? Now he has bits and pieces, choppy and half formed but coherent enough to paint a picture.
What he feels with Astarion is good, but it’s nothing like what he knows to be happy.
Happy for Markus is being elbow deep in viscera, the terrified whimpers of someone desperately trying to keep silent, wide eyes collapsing as all hope is lost and they beg for some sort of mercy.
That’s happy.
Markus presses his face into Astarion’s hip to think.
Astarion jumps at the sudden press of the tiefling’s face into his side, but after a few seconds he places a hand between Markus’s horns.
Markus inhales, brandy, bergamot, rosemary, and beneath that, the subtle saltiness of sweat and leather.
How many times has he blindly followed that smell? How many times has he pressed his face into the dips and creases of Astarion’s skin, using his scent as an anchor?
Safe.
It’s some small part of him that had been crushed and muffled since his father claimed him. The scared child he was when he opened his eyes to bloody hands and flesh filled teeth, the people he called parents dead and decorating the walls of their small home for his nameday.
Gods, when was the last time he thought about his parents? When was the last time he could think about his parents?
Astarion presses his thumb to the base of one of Markus’s horns, it’s that spot that sends a tickle down the scar Orin left down the side of his nose.
“Let me in?”
Markus presses his face a bit deeper into Astarion’s side, some delight wiggling it’s way into his crowded mind when he realizes the elf actually has some give, a touch of softness where his waist turns into hip.
“It’s a mess.”
Astarion scoffs, “The only one of us messier than you is Karlach, at least you have the excuse of drama worthy amnesia.”
Markus snorts.
“You’ve seen my messes, helped me clean them even, let me return the favor?”
Markus stiffens, but before he can say anything Astarion continues.
“Because I want to, darling. Not because I think I owe you.”
Markus sighs, shoulders dropping when he feels the bit of insistence from Astarion trying to probe his mind.
He opens the connection a crack, and he can feel Astarion brush past the confusion, the worry, the few memories of Gortash he was able to cobble together.
“The way he spoke, I assumed you’d been sharing more than world domination plans.”
“I still don’t know if we did.”
Most of the memories are factual, no real emotions come with them, deaths he’s caused, tortures committed, he isn’t numb to them, but the only emotions he feels are the ones he has to them now.
The few that flood him with emotion, all have to do with his father.
The truth of his lineage, the first day Sceleritas appeared before him, the first mass he lead in his father’s name.
Those come with fondness, warmth, pride. He has a feeling those emotions are not entirely, if at all, his own.
“Red is a lovely color on you dear, but I must say, even this is a bit much.”
Markus snorts, letting that starburst of fondness in his chest bleed over into Astarion’s awareness.
“I’m quite certain most of the memories I had returned were ones my father felt were necessary, if I recall anything else, it is by sheer happenstance.”
Astarion hums in distaste, “Quite telling, don’t you think, that Bhaal would have to censor your memory.”
Markus… Markus hadn’t considered that.
Astarion taps Markus with his foot, a silent instruction for the tiefling to make space for the vampire to sit.
Markus does just that.
“Try and remember something, anything, that has nothing to do with him.”
Markus opens his mouth to argue, his entire being, his very person hood, was a facet of his father, that was the intention.
“Cazador tried to break me, he intended to break me.”
Markus’s mouth clicks shut.
“I did not break, I bent and I bowed, but I did not break.”
Flashes, moments, bits and pieces of hunger pangs and broken fingernails. Rotten rats and the burn of an ill handled blade. Condescending coos and obviously false promises, disrespect and degradation.
They all come with emotions, disgust, fear, exhaustion, but there is a constant.
Rage.
The true depths of which were kept under wraps, the flairs and bursts Cazador saw only fractions of what the younger elf truly contained.
“You were not helpless without Bhaal’s guidance, and I doubt that was something that just suddenly came to you.”
Markus can feel Astarion shuffling through memories, tossing aside bloody images and and terrified screams, looking for something that has nothing to do with Markus’s divine inheritance.
“Well hello.”
It takes Markus a moment to orient his mind to what Astarion has found.
It’s her.
Heat rises to Markus’s cheeks before he really knows why.
“Now I do believe daddy dearest had nothing to do with this.”
The memories are haphazard, choppy.
The swish of a tail, the supple curve of a thigh, the drag of claws beneath his chin.
Vanilla and pine covering the electrified ozone that comes with high magic use.
Astarion’s eyes widen, his hands cupping Markus’s cheeks as he digs around for memories of the woman that once drove the tiefling mad.
“Oh darling, I knew you had taste, but my oh my, I’m surprised they’re so refined.”
Markus doesn’t know how to take that, but before he can say anything a new memory emerges, a dagger at his throat.
Not when he first met Astarion, no, the dagger in his memory is sharpened to a delicate but lethal edge, a smooth curve and jeweled pommel.
“It seems you have a type.”
Markus feels a chuckle forming, but it stalls in his throat.
The memory of her flirtatious smile turns horrified, a thick line of blood dripping down her brow, the smell of burning fabric and the sting of electricity beneath his skin.
Anger, fear, disgust, regret.
The message is clear, “You have no time for such needless distractions.”
Markus grabs Astarion’s wrist as he pushes the elf from his mind, desperate for some comfort but also scared for his safety.
No wonder he believed Sceleritas so quickly, he’d tried to kill someone he cared about before. Had succeeded in the case of his parents in name.
“I…” Markus feels a trembling in his chest. Fear, promising placations, promises that his lapses in judgment were long term plans, that his lack of bloodshed wasn’t stalling, it was all part of a plan.
The Plan.
His head pounds as his mind scrambles, fragments of answers to even more fragmented questions.
Desperate calls for silence, the singing of blood, a moment's respite from the violent flesh craving, desperation and fractions of perfect quiet moments.
His nose is bleeding.
“No need to let that go to waste.”
A cool callused finger wipes his lip.
Markus… Markus wants to sleep.
“Are you hungry?”
Astarion understands.
Astarion understands and Markus knows whatever he had with Gortash didn’t have this. A silent knowing, intrinsic understanding. They had been made rotten by circumstance but Gortash just made Markus’s rot worse.
Gortash saw him a feral lap dog, something kept on a leash and appeased with random bursts of praise and the occasional treat.
Astarion may have started by playing a similar hand, but even his calculated approvals were more heartfelt than the admitted drivel Gortash would randomly lob his way.
Astarion smiles, sultry and playful, the vulnerability being hidden away for another time, another night.
“Oh darling, I thought you’d never ask.”
Markus smiles, his own playful deflections returning as he stands, barely remembering the wet robe that’s been soaking in the wash basin.
He presses his forehead to Astarion’s, a moment of unfettered affection and relief, warmth and understanding, those soft mushy feelings neither of them know how to articulate.
“Don’t keep me waiting.”
Markus nudges forward, just enough for the bridges of their noses to press against each other before standing entirely, tail swaying behind him in an exaggerated tease.
Florida man hasn't completed any fic in a hot minute... returns with a different fandom and POV style...
Astarion x Dark Urge OC (Markus) a bit that sprouted off from a different fic attempt but felt too different to stay in the other doc... so here it is now, on its own.
no real... anything really, just an interaction as i try and hammer out their whole deal, so two traumatized men who's whole lives have been defined and shaped by violence, trying to figure out how to interact with each other and the rest of the world.
some tweaks to the Durge backstory, and whole deal really. the way the game treats the Urges is... odd, almost like they're a separate thing from your character's thought process at times
oh, implied past Gortash x Durge, but even he isn't completely sure what the exact nature of their relationship used to be.
I'm terrible at naming fics btw, that hasn't changed, suggestions welcome
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We need to talk.”
Markus breathes in, the fact Astarion is initiating heavy conversation is enough of a warning that he shouldn’t try and put this off.
“Okay.”
Markus just keeps scrubbing his clothes, waiting.
“Are you going to even look at me?”
Markus doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t know what to expect, but the waiver in Astarion’s voice, that sliver of fear, it supersedes his own.
Astarion’s shoulders relax just a bit when Markus turns, and the elf takes a few steps forward until he’s standing next to the tiefling.
Markus wrings out his clothes and waits.
“What are we? To you.”
Markus almost giggles, the same words he’s asked the elf a few too many times, to the point Astarion has had to preemptively reassure Markus that yes, what they are is something important and special to him.
“I—“ Markus sighs, dunking his robes in the wash basin, more so a fidget than actual cleaning.
“You, you make me happy, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been happy like this, and that scares the shit out of me.” The admission makes Markus feel raw, like an exposed nerve.
Astarion huffs, and if Markus didn’t know better he’d be hurt by how dismissive it sounds.
“Aroused certainly, annoyed definitely, but happy?” Astarion sounds almost disgusted with the word, “Not usually the feeling people associate with me darling.”
The thing is Markus isn’t even completely certain if what he’s feeling is happiness. Before his memories decided to rush back into place, before Gortash went ahead and talked about their history with vague fondness and some deep tonal implications, he was quite certain what Astarion had him feeling was happy.
But now? Now he has bits and pieces, choppy and half formed but coherent enough to paint a picture.
What he feels with Astarion is good, but it’s nothing like what he knows to be happy.
Happy for Markus is being elbow deep in viscera, the terrified whimpers of someone desperately trying to keep silent, wide eyes collapsing as all hope is lost and they beg for some sort of mercy.
That’s happy.
Markus presses his face into Astarion’s hip to think.
Astarion jumps at the sudden press of the tiefling’s face into his side, but after a few seconds he places a hand between Markus’s horns.
Markus inhales, brandy, bergamot, rosemary, and beneath that, the subtle saltiness of sweat and leather.
How many times has he blindly followed that smell? How many times has he pressed his face into the dips and creases of Astarion’s skin, using his scent as an anchor?
Safe.
It’s some small part of him that had been crushed and muffled since his father claimed him. The scared child he was when he opened his eyes to bloody hands and flesh filled teeth, the people he called parents dead and decorating the walls of their small home for his nameday.
Gods, when was the last time he thought about his parents? When was the last time he could think about his parents?
Astarion presses his thumb to the base of one of Markus’s horns, it’s that spot that sends a tickle down the scar Orin left down the side of his nose.
“Let me in?”
Markus presses his face a bit deeper into Astarion’s side, some delight wiggling it’s way into his crowded mind when he realizes the elf actually has some give, a touch of softness where his waist turns into hip.
“It’s a mess.”
Astarion scoffs, “The only one of us messier than you is Karlach, at least you have the excuse of drama worthy amnesia.”
Markus snorts.
“You’ve seen my messes, helped me clean them even, let me return the favor?”
Markus stiffens, but before he can say anything Astarion continues.
“Because I want to, darling. Not because I think I owe you.”
Markus sighs, shoulders dropping when he feels the bit of insistence from Astarion trying to probe his mind.
He opens the connection a crack, and he can feel Astarion brush past the confusion, the worry, the few memories of Gortash he was able to cobble together.
“The way he spoke, I assumed you’d been sharing more than world domination plans.”
“I still don’t know if we did.”
Most of the memories are factual, no real emotions come with them, deaths he’s caused, tortures committed, he isn’t numb to them, but the only emotions he feels are the ones he has to them now.
The few that flood him with emotion, all have to do with his father.
The truth of his lineage, the first day Sceleritas appeared before him, the first mass he lead in his father’s name.
Those come with fondness, warmth, pride. He has a feeling those emotions are not entirely, if at all, his own.
“Red is a lovely color on you dear, but I must say, even this is a bit much.”
Markus snorts, letting that starburst of fondness in his chest bleed over into Astarion’s awareness.
“I’m quite certain most of the memories I had returned were ones my father felt were necessary, if I recall anything else, it is by sheer happenstance.”
Astarion hums in distaste, “Quite telling, don’t you think, that Bhaal would have to censor your memory.”
Markus… Markus hadn’t considered that.
Astarion taps Markus with his foot, a silent instruction for the tiefling to make space for the vampire to sit.
Markus does just that.
“Try and remember something, anything, that has nothing to do with him.”
Markus opens his mouth to argue, his entire being, his very person hood, was a facet of his father, that was the intention.
“Cazador tried to break me, he intended to break me.”
Markus’s mouth clicks shut.
“I did not break, I bent and I bowed, but I did not break.”
Flashes, moments, bits and pieces of hunger pangs and broken fingernails. Rotten rats and the burn of an ill handled blade. Condescending coos and obviously false promises, disrespect and degradation.
They all come with emotions, disgust, fear, exhaustion, but there is a constant.
Rage.
The true depths of which were kept under wraps, the flairs and bursts Cazador saw only fractions of what the younger elf truly contained.
“You were not helpless without Bhaal’s guidance, and I doubt that was something that just suddenly came to you.”
Markus can feel Astarion shuffling through memories, tossing aside bloody images and and terrified screams, looking for something that has nothing to do with Markus’s divine inheritance.
“Well hello.”
It takes Markus a moment to orient his mind to what Astarion has found.
It’s her.
Heat rises to Markus’s cheeks before he really knows why.
“Now I do believe daddy dearest had nothing to do with this.”
The memories are haphazard, choppy.
The swish of a tail, the supple curve of a thigh, the drag of claws beneath his chin.
Vanilla and pine covering the electrified ozone that comes with high magic use.
Astarion’s eyes widen, his hands cupping Markus’s cheeks as he digs around for memories of the woman that once drove the tiefling mad.
“Oh darling, I knew you had taste, but my oh my, I’m surprised they’re so refined.”
Markus doesn’t know how to take that, but before he can say anything a new memory emerges, a dagger at his throat.
Not when he first met Astarion, no, the dagger in his memory is sharpened to a delicate but lethal edge, a smooth curve and jeweled pommel.
“It seems you have a type.”
Markus feels a chuckle forming, but it stalls in his throat.
The memory of her flirtatious smile turns horrified, a thick line of blood dripping down her brow, the smell of burning fabric and the sting of electricity beneath his skin.
Anger, fear, disgust, regret.
The message is clear, “You have no time for such needless distractions.”
Markus grabs Astarion’s wrist as he pushes the elf from his mind, desperate for some comfort but also scared for his safety.
No wonder he believed Sceleritas so quickly, he’d tried to kill someone he cared about before. Had succeeded in the case of his parents in name.
“I…” Markus feels a trembling in his chest. Fear, promising placations, promises that his lapses in judgment were long term plans, that his lack of bloodshed wasn’t stalling, it was all part of a plan.
The Plan.
His head pounds as his mind scrambles, fragments of answers to even more fragmented questions.
Desperate calls for silence, the singing of blood, a moment's respite from the violent flesh craving, desperation and fractions of perfect quiet moments.
His nose is bleeding.
“No need to let that go to waste.”
A cool callused finger wipes his lip.
Markus… Markus wants to sleep.
“Are you hungry?”
Astarion understands.
Astarion understands and Markus knows whatever he had with Gortash didn’t have this. A silent knowing, intrinsic understanding. They had been made rotten by circumstance but Gortash just made Markus’s rot worse.
Gortash saw him a feral lap dog, something kept on a leash and appeased with random bursts of praise and the occasional treat.
Astarion may have started by playing a similar hand, but even his calculated approvals were more heartfelt than the admitted drivel Gortash would randomly lob his way.
Astarion smiles, sultry and playful, the vulnerability being hidden away for another time, another night.
“Oh darling, I thought you’d never ask.”
Markus smiles, his own playful deflections returning as he stands, barely remembering the wet robe that’s been soaking in the wash basin.
He presses his forehead to Astarion’s, a moment of unfettered affection and relief, warmth and understanding, those soft mushy feelings neither of them know how to articulate.
“Don’t keep me waiting.”
Markus nudges forward, just enough for the bridges of their noses to press against each other before standing entirely, tail swaying behind him in an exaggerated tease.
Warnings: 18+, pwp, fingering (f receiving), ezra being ezra, a lot of sweat, reader is nicknamed stardust but no gendered language as far as I am aware, this was originally written with a plus size reader in mind and there is one description of body type (soft stomach) but nothing major beyond that
Word Count: 1.8k
Summary: It's too hot to sleep. Ezra helps you with your frustration, but only makes things hotter.
A/N: comments and reblogs forever appreciated! To follow for fic updates only go to @sp00kyupdates or see taglist details on my masterlist. Credit to gif maker.
It’s hot. Too hot. The kind of sticky hot that fills the air and makes it hard to breath, no cool breeze of comfort as it melts the brain until you can’t think straight.
It sticks to your body. The heat causing discomforting damp across you, in the places where flesh meets flesh. You groan and turn from your side to your back, looking up at the mildewy roof of the tent you’re trying to sleep in.
“Shouldn’t have taken this stupid fuckin’ job” you mutter to yourself quietly, aware of Ezra somehow sleeping beside you.
Ezra; you’re partner in prospecting and crime and a variety of other unsavoury activities. Right now you’re too aware of him and his warm body. He’s always too close but you’d never usually complain. Except for right now when you want nothing more than to kick him out of the tent completely so you can spread your limbs wide and try not to feel so damn sticky.
You move again with a huff, turning your pancake-thin pillow over to the cooler side. It barely helps. You can feel the sweat gather between your breasts and your thighs and on your back. The only thing you can think to thank Kevva for is that you’d at least come to a planet with a breathable atmosphere, because if you’d had to wear your suit all day too you’d have lost your mind days ago.
“Something the matter, stardust?” Ezra asks, voice thick with sleep. Guilt pangs when you realise you woke him with all your movement, but he just gazes at you sleepily with a half-amused smile as his eyes flutter closed then open again adjusting to the low flickering glow of the lamplight.
“Just hot” you sigh turning on your side again to face him, body thrumming with restlessness and a jolt of other when his deep brown eyes flicker down to the loose, thin top that’s pulled up enough to reveal the curve of your body from waist to hip, your soft stomach, and the small shorts riding up the tops of your thighs.
He suddenly seems much more awake.
“Well I certainly won’t disagree with you on that” he practically purrs and chuckles when you roll your eyes.
“Shut up, Ez” you retort slightly more stern than you had intended to sound and he raises an eyebrow at your annoyed tone.
“Sorry” you murmur after.
He smirks at you but doesn’t respond, his eyes darting back down your body then to your lips with very clear intent. You look back at him. He’s shirtless with a pair of shorts slung low on his hips and you always love to see that despite the hard life of drifting he is still soft and comfortable, getting by with just enough food to never be gaunt. The scars from decades of dangerous living are visible on his golden skin which is sheened with sweat. The starlight blonde patch of hair sticks to his forehead.
Perhaps he is another thing to thank the goddess for.
Like magnets drawn together you both shift a little closer, even the heat of his body not able to deter you as your eyes meet again.
He reaches out a hand and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb making contact with your cheek with a sweet caress. With a barely audible sigh he leans closer and offers his lips to you. You’ve never denied him a kiss, you aren’t going to start now but you do hesitate.
“I’m gross” you mutter against his lips when his hand pushes up the flimsy top and skims the underside of your breast, knowing the moisture of sweat clings there.
“You’re radiant” he responds.
You roll your eyes again.
“It’s sweat”
“Stardust, what exactly makes you conclude I would ever care about that?” He whispers, voice low. “It’s you. That’s all that matters”
He leans in to you more then, his hand gently grasping a breast, thumb swiping over your sensitive nipple as your body reacts to him all on its own. His words make you warmer but this time you don’t curse the heat. Your conscious of how prevalent your perspiration is but the way in which Ezra simply doesn’t care gives you cause to give in too.
“Relax now, I’ll make you forget all about the torridity” He says.
He’s intent to make you stop thinking as he leans towards you and kisses you harder. His tongue welcomely intrudes your mouth and his hand pursues new territory as he drags it down your curves and around to the front of your shorts.
“Ezra..” you whine, bewildered by how you can be so desperate to have him closer now when just moments ago your wanted him far away. His palm presses against you at the apex of your legs and then you feel his fingers slip up the leg of your loose shorts. He huffs out a happy grunt as he finds you slick there from more than the heat.
"You..." He kisses you again, even less restrained than before "...are wanting of this more than you let on, stardust" He groans as his fingers slip up the seam of your cunt, finding their way to your sensitive bundle of nerves as he makes you gasp for it.
Your body is heating up to impossible lengths and you imagine what a state you must look like; dewy skinned and exasperated from lack of sleep and a new desperation for him. Your hair is stuck to your skin, the damp beneath your breasts and between your thighs increases. It's maddening but Ezra is looking at you like you are some unearthly delight that he has happened upon in his own garden of eden. He could never make you feel anything less than desired even when you feel anything less than desirable. It's a talent of his, really.
That quick tongue of his is occupied now with other things, the delicious drag of it from your lips, down your jaw and then your neck. He groans against your skin, his fingers working their way from clit to your entrance so he can gather your slick on them. He pushes one in, and you already feel like you could forget more than just the heat, you could forget where you are entirely if he keeps going.
You whimper and he smiles so delightedly.
He’s soon moving his head to a place further down, sucking in a nipple over the fabric of your shirt. He takes you completely off guard as he pushes in another finger, toying with you when he knows exactly what to do to make you forget your own name.
"I'm all...all...You don't have to...it's not…" you stutter not even a full sentence.
"Take off your shirt" Is all he responds with. No preamble, no flowery wording. A simple instruction.
"I…" You hesitate because you really are so sticky hot and some prevalent part of your brain is still stuck on that undesirability you feel.
"Do it"
You do. The little top comes off in a moment, giving Ezra access to your breasts with that wicked tongue of his. He swipes your pebbled nipples, once on each, with it and then sucks one in to his mouth, using his teeth to ever so gently pull.
Meanwhile those talented fingers do their own work. In...deep, deep, crooking at the place that makes your stomach clench in pleasure. Back out, just a little, playing with you because he knows how much he can make your mind blank if he just makes it a little more difficult for you.
"Teasing me..." You whisper, your own hands playing in his damp hair, grabbing slightly. He knows you know what he's doing to you.
"Making you forget. Making your think about nothing else. Let me" He smirks. He is a devilish man, you decide, and you are glad he is the devil of your own heart and no one elses.
"Mmmh, I- Yeah. You can do that..." You sigh. Finally feeling his thumb barely touch your clit as his fingers work inside of you to bring on something that will make you cry out his name for all the planet to hear.
"Would you like more?"
"Don't you...dare stop"
He laughs, that delightful laugh of his that you fell in love with.
The heat and his hand make you feel kind of like you're in a dream, dizzy with all of the things you feel inside and out. You love him like this, love him to be so intense, so incredibly devious in making you feel exactly the thing he wants you to feel.
"Come kiss me" You whimper and he grins like the cat that got the cream, knowing he has you.
Ezra does exactly as you want kissing your lips once, twice before pulling away. You can taste the sweat on his skin and it only drives you more in to want. You're starting to understand his way of thinking; why should you care about anything but the two of you and what your bodies can do? Perpiration or no, he feels good and makes you feel good.
His fingers work magically in you until your getting breathy and close to the inevitable edge. He's hard against your hip but when you reach to help him with that he pushes your hand away.
"Not now"
"Feels- oh, feels so right" is about all you can give him as he slips another finger in and stretches you so deliciously. You want it again and again and again and he gives it to you as his fingers hook and rub deep inside, and you start to cry desperately for him to never, ever stop “Ez...”
“Shh, stardust. Let it take you, let me help you” He groans feeling your wetness gush around his fingers. His thumb rubs your clit in faster little circles and you arch.
You come in a frenzy of blooming heat, a pleasure that makes you push against him as if begging for even more. Your skin is glistening now not just from the torridity of this unforgiving climate but from the pure fire in your body. How can he make you feel like this every time? It is so unreasonable that he has this power, but it is so right.
Ezra licks a swipe between the valley of your breasts, and then up to your neck where he kisses you gently as you slowly catch your breath. Your eyes are heavy, sleep already taking you in to its arms as you lay your head down and pull him up for a slow, lazy kiss that keeps the fire flickering just a moment longer.
“Mm. Ez” is about all you manage for that moment, fingers playing again in the damp hair at the nape of his neck until your eyes are closing.
“Sleep, my lucent love. You’re welcome” Ezra chuckles letting you fall back as he lays on his side watching you.
You’re asleep in moments, sticky hot but satisfied enough to not be able to think about it any more.
I finally figured out what my personal issue/usual squick with large age gap fics is even though I know I’m personally attracted to older men.
It’s the pretty regular lack of real acknowledgment of the implications outside of sex and what the relationship is beyond that.
And I’m a horny dude don’t get me wrong, but I realized what was missing from the fics (for me anyway) was attraction beyond sex.
A good example is @frannyzooey ‘s In the Dark
There’s actually chemistry between the reader and Ezra, there’s mutual enjoyment of things outside of breaking each other’s bed frames, the fear of getting caught is also tinged with the fear of real loss, because they do really enjoy each other’s company.
Anyway I’m rambling, and here’s more of it as I couldn’t sleep and was feeling a way.
Joel Miller x younger!Reader (about 20ish years) no outbreak, really calling it a TLOU fic feels a bit off but he’s who I was thinking about when I wrote it. Also it was like 4am, and seeing as I feel asleep with the notes app open, there’s gonna be some mistakes and clunky writing.
———
You can’t keep doing this.
You look into your own eyes as the realization hits you, the humidity of the shower fogging up the streak you’d just wiped away.
You can’t keep doing this.
But you can’t have a breakdown here, in the shower of a man twice your age with a daughter you could’ve easily gone to elementary school with.
Your stomach rolls, and saliva fills your mouth. You’re going to be sick.
Somehow, you hold it back, at least long enough to get dressed, but when it won’t stay down you flush the toilet as you hurl, hoping he won’t ask questions as you leave.
You breathe in, hold it, and let it out in a stream, before opening the en suite door and rushing out of the bedroom.
He’s in the kitchen, and he tries to say something as you rush past, but you just wave him off, muttering something vague about needing to leave, not even putting on your shoes properly as you rush out of the front door and down the street to where you parked.
You’ve been terrified to park in front of his house, terrified to get caught, terrified of being found out.
Terrified of it being real.
You start the car, thankful for the habit you’d developed of hooking the keys to a belt loop.
A habit you’d picked up from him.
Your stomach twists again, your vision blurs as tears form, and a part of you just wants him to hold you.
A tap against the driver side window makes you jump.
He has your wallet.
Cracking the window open enough for him to slip the fake leather billfold through the crack isn’t enough, he shakes his head and points down, wanting you to open the window properly.
You shake as you do.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong darlin’? You ran out-!”
A cry breaks from your lips and suddenly you’re sobbing, the loud panicky sort, the kind you can’t pretty up in a few seconds or lie about convincingly.
He doesn’t look scared, he just looks worried, and for some reason that makes this worse.
He walks around the front of the car, and you’re already double checking that the locks are open, more out of habit than really thinking about it.
He fits a bit awkwardly into the passenger seat.
“Now I need to know what’s wrong, cause I can’t leave you alone like this, not in good conscience.”
You hiccup, engaging the parking break for something to do with your hands and excuse a few more seconds of silence.
The words stick in your throat.
“Baby?”
His hand cups your cheek and you flinch, he pulls away, shocked. Shocked and hurt.
“What are we doing?”
His brow furrows, confusion and concern coming off of him in waves.
“What do you mean?”
“What is this?” Your voice cracks, “What are we?” It feels like something is trying to choke you, “What are we doing? Really?”
His mouth opens, but words don’t come out, and you’re fighting your body to keep yourself from hyperventilating.
“I-“
“What do you want, Joel?” Pressure is building like something pushing on your chest, forcing the words out, “What do you want from me?” The question ends with a crack, and it just emphasizes the following silence.
“I— can we talk about his inside?” He points out the window, head tilting in that way that makes the light catch the errant grays.
“No.”
If it doesn’t happen here, it won’t happen at all. You need some sense of control and your car is better than his kitchen.
He sighs, pushing your wallet in what would’ve been an ashtray, before turning to more properly face you.
“What do you want me to say?” This whole thing already feels like it’s falling apart, which hurts, but it’s better that it happen somewhere somewhat private.
“The truth.”
He looks down, eyes flicking over the center console and a part of you wants to take it back, take it all back and return to where you were not even twenty minutes ago.
“I don’t know.”
“At all?”
“Not-“ he sighs, turning to look out the windshield, “it’s complicated.”
“No shit.”
He huffs in something that sounds like amusement, and even on the verge of a panic attack you can’t help but crack a small smile.
“You make me happy,” he presses a point between his thumb and forefinger, “and that’s all I’ve really been thinking about.”
“Really?” You can’t believe it, because you know he’s a worrier.
“Been putting everything else on the back burner, it was easier.”
You sink a bit into your seat, most of the tension moving to the back of your neck.
“We can’t keep doing it like this.”
He sighs, “No, we shouldn’t.”
You both sit in the car, silent as you consider what to do now.
He suddenly speaks up, “Made French toast.”
Your stomach rumbles in interest, “With the little maple bacon bits?”
He laughs like that was a stupid question, “is there another way to make it?”
You giggle, sniffing as the sound cracks in your throat.
———
This is where I fell asleep, and honestly I don’t think I could write anymore for this, cause it’s bringing up a lot of feelings I don’t wanna deal with rn.
Writing fic as an awkward way to get comfortable with the mental aspects of using a mobility aid (a cane in this instance) after getting discouraged by my mother immediatly suggesting surgery and ignoring my concerns about that…….
Pairing: Executioner!König x Nun!Reader (Medieval au)
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: Religious themes and settings, talk of death, religious guilt, nothing much this is pretty tame. I have very little knowledge of how catholic confessionals actually go especially in a medieval setting forgive me. probably many spelling errors im sorry.
Author’s Note: was talking to @thesadvampire about @hffhifjou fucking amazing art of the 141 as knights and now we have Executioner!König. This is mostly just a word burst from this morning but I really like this concept and wanted to share with you all
Tagging some mutuals I think might enjoy this: @sprout-fics @humanransome-note @moondirti @fnny-bnny @yeehaw-djarin @captainsamwlsn
_______________–
It was quite amusing to see the executioner in the confessional booth.
That isn’t to say that he doesn’t visit often, no. If anything it’s the exact opposite, Father Montomgery sees him more than any pious banker or self-hating gambler in the city. But the man was monstrous, broad in his shoulders with thick arms and legs to match, resulting in him having to twist and fold his body to properly fit into the little wooden booth. He could see the silhouette of the poor man’s shoulders hunched in and head tucked low.
It almost made up for how absolutely aggravating he was to listen to.