Queen Elsa Meets Donald Trump: A Fanfic
Because the US needs a hero right now, and who better than the Queen that represents us all??
Admit it, you’ve thought about this too.
She hadn’t felt like a child in a long time.
But now, with a desperate, pleading voice of ‘do I have to?’ sounding in her mind, the immature child that lay deep inside of her made itself known. That inner child hadn’t had more than a couple years to live before it was smothered by responsibility in the face of danger, and now it was returning in full force.
The whine in her head strengthened, imploring her not to take another step!
But she had to.
She pushed the child down, back deeply inside of her where it belonged, and took a deep breath in preparation to meet another child.
Donald Trump.
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He bowed, at least.
She was half wondering if his hair would flop off the top of his head just like the Duke of Weselton.
A side-eyed glance to Anna by her side confirmed that her sister was thinking the same.
“Welcome to Arendelle,” she said, approaching the man that stirred deep hatred within her. “It’s a pleasure to have you visit our small kingdom.” She lied through her teeth, an art she was well-versed in.
She offered her hand to him for a handshake. He had bowed and followed her culture – it would be best to acknowledge the American’s standard greeting as well out of respect.
His grasp was limp and wet, and she smothered a shiver as she wished she had worn gloves after all.
“The pleasure is all mine,” he said, grandly. God, how that voice turned her stomach.
“What a tremendous country, Arendelle,” he said. “It’s really, really tremendous. Everybody’s talking about it.”
“Is that so?” Elsa asked, raising an eyebrow. She wondered how he could have already formed such an opinion when he hadn’t exited his plane more than an hour ago. “People are talking about Arendelle?”
She sincerely doubted that, as well as Trump’s mental capacity to know what “everyone” was talking about. Arendelle had been highlighted in international news occasionally, but it was typically only a short blurb about its natural wonders, climbs in tourism popularity, and, of course, rumors and speculations about herself, much to her chagrin.
“Well, sure, talking about Arendelle, but I’ve been hearing about you, of course,” Trump said, his eyes roving over her. She had been sure to wear the most modest, skin-covering dress that she could find buried in her closet. And no ice, her advisors warned her. But those eyes still seemed to seek out every curve of her body – she could feel them. Her ice pricked in her hands in response and she tried to breathe evenly to settle it down.
“A lot of people tell me about you. And I gotta say, you’re even better in person. I have many, many friends, and let me just tell you – I can just tell, you know, that you’re a fantastic person. Really interesting. And this country. Just beautiful, really.”
She didn’t want to know how he had already formed this opinion of her, nor did she want to know what he meant by interesting. But she played along, trying to take the conversation away from herself and back to Arendelle and international relations.
“Thank you. I can only hope that the natural beauty of Arendelle will remain as temperatures rise. I know that the United States has been facing some unusual weather events, and I’m afraid even here we’re seeing temperatures begin to climb.” She couldn’t help throwing that bit in.
“I mean, these things happen,” he responded, as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his idiocy. “But you – you’re special, the likes of which has never been seen before – you don’t have to worry about the temperature, you can just –‘poof!’” He flicks his fingers open from a fist in the air above his head, a garish mix of a grin and a smirk upon his lips. “In fact, why don’t you just fix the whole problem for us?”
Elsa can just feel the reporters and videographers step in closer at his remark. She feels like the walls are closing in on her, like the masses are about to envelop her and this terrible, senseless man. She didn’t think she’d have to defend herself and her magic so early into their conversation.
She pressed her lips together and took a calming breath before answering. The click of camera shutters seemed deafening to her ears.
“Mr. President, I’m not capable of cooling down the entire planet, though even if I had such abilities, I believe that we humans need to take responsibility for our actions in protecting and extending the life of our planet and future generations.” There.
“Well, that’s just what I heard,” he responded with a shrug. He grinned anew at her, not showing his teeth, his thin, pink lips like worms stretched into a smile.
“And please, call me Donald.”
She didn’t offer the same courtesy.
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Happy July 4th!
God, that was WAY too much fun!!! Hope you all enjoyed.
Please let me know what you think! I’d love to hear your comments. Any ideas for a continuation?
Keep reading
^^ Elsa after meeting him.
I love how everyone here is in character. I also wanted to vomit and my skin was crawling from second-hand anxiety from rape-y feels from him through Elsa’s eyes.
“She had been sure to wear the most modest, skin-covering dress that she could find buried in her closet. And no ice, her advisors warned her. But those eyes still seemed to seek out every curve of her body – she could feel them. Her ice pricked in her hands in response and she tried to breathe evenly to settle it down.”
This made me CACKLE. But it’s also tragically true because the dude has a reputation for being a perv, and Elsa is someone that’s super attractive… so of course he would look at her that way.
The anxiety is palpable. I know it’s meant to be humorous, but this is kind of a sneak peak to how Elsa must be like when faced with reporters, cameras, and crowds. As a queen, she must be proper and calm and presentable at all times even when she’s not in the mood for interaction…especially with someone like Donald. It must’ve been daunting to meet with someone so disgusting that she had to stop herself from committing murder altogether.
But I think she was calm throughout this whole bullshit because Anna was right there.
Well done! This was a nice morning read. I was reading it while imagining Idina’s voice (flat with subtle, condescending tones like talking to a child) and it made it 32380298732983x better. xD
Now I wonder… what’s Anna’s POV? :O
Does Elsa meet Ivanka?
@snowycrocus
