Realistic Guide to Becoming Hypergamous
If you’re on a newly feminine/hypergamous journey, there will be a barrage of advice, concepts, and ideas thrown at you from all angles. While Tumblr is an excellent beginning resource, much of the advice is recycled and simply unrealistic. You cannot simply launch into luxurious and hypergamous living by following these strict guidelines, as they do not apply to everyone. As a result, I’ve decided to create my own guide, one filled with advice I wish I had known prior to beginning this journey.
1. Understand what hypergamy is. Do not be ashamed of it.
The most obvious but often overlooked key to hypergamy is truly knowing what it is. Hypergamy is defined as the act or practice of having romantic connections with someone of a higher social status than themselves. Any kind of Cinderella tale where girl meets boy and boy spends a lot of money on girl is hypergamy, just as an example. Understand this. Social status is defined by the amount of social value one possesses. Think of Beyoncé. She is beautiful, visibly rich, well connected and well known, hence, her high social status. Social value in short is anything you possess that will garner admiration and increased social interactions from others. If you are beautiful, that is valuable. If you are intelligent, that is valuable. If you have money, that is valuable. If you are skilled, that is valuable. Your value depends on you. What you are worth depends on you. In relation to hypergamy, understand that a relationship is simply a romantic exchange of value. Do not feel bad about wanting to be/ being hypergamous, because ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE AN EXCHANGE OF VALUE. Romantic relationships exist because two people value the other’s traits, and decide to be together. So if you decide that what you value in a man is financial security, THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY. You are not a gold digger. (and even if you are that’s no one’s business but your own! Period!)
2. Understand Your Relationship With Men
There are some women who due to their fathers, brothers, or male figures in their lives, behave a certain way that is not in alignment with hypergamy. Hypergamy does not work unless you are aware of your value, and expect to be treated that way by the men you date. However some of us come from backgrounds in which the men in our lives did not provide that foundation, which leads us to behave in ways that must supplement that lack. Do you automatically resort to handling everything yourself because no one else will take care of it, paying for dates, being afraid to ask for what you know you deserve, among other things? If so, you may need to mentally revise. Understand why you engage with men the way you do, the roots of the beliefs and behaviors you employ, and consider if they are in alignment with hypergamous beliefs. Also understand that masculine men are providers, and that the more you do for a man, the less he will do for you. Men like to feel like men. If you do everything for him, the less like a man he will feel.
3. Understand Your Value and Demand Reciprocation
As mentioned before, status is based on value, and it is up to you to ascribe that to yourself. If something is valuable enough, you will do anything for it. This is a basic concept that applies to everyone. Your value is anything you decide that It is, because every trait you possess is valuable to SOMEONE. Are you beautiful? Check. Is your personality amazing? Check. Are you intelligent? Check. There are people in this world that even standing next to them will increase your social value, so understand that your mere presence is valuable. Now consider all your value and think about something valuable to you. Your phone, your necklace, anything. If someone comes along offering you the barest minimum for said item, are you going to take it? NO. Because it is not worth it! And never will be! That is how you should think of yourself. Understand that value also lies in things you want. If you want a Birkin, it’s valuable to you. If you want a plastic cup that has meaning to you, it is valuable, this applies to everyone. So understand that if someone wants you, you are valuable to them for some reason. So in exchange, you should get what you want. No ifs and or but’s about it. If you want his money, and he wants you bad enough, he’ll give it to you. Your wants and needs are NONNEGOTIABLE. Which leads to my next point.
4. What do you want?
Stop lying to yourself because men on the Internet that you’ll never meet have convinced you that wanting money from a man makes you a gold digger, or makes you a sex worker. Stop being jealous of that girl whose boyfriend got her Dior for her birthday. If you want that, that is it. Understand this if you get nothing else from this post: the reason that the current dating scene exists as it does is because men always find a way to get what they want. “Toxic” culture exists because men keep going back to women for sex, or attention, and women, starved of self esteem, allow it in exchange for the barest minimum. Men are notorious for cheating. Men are notorious for ghosting. Men are notorious for asking for sex before they know your last name. What is the common theme here? Men knowing what they want and pursuing it without shame. While often it is disgusting, it is useful if you have principles. Know what you want from a man and have standards that are UNWAVERING. If the men you date must have a car, do not date men without cars. Also be mindful that hypergamy is dating realistically above your standards. So if you are 18 working for $9.50 an hour, it is not impossible but also not realistic Bill Gates will come to sweep you off your feet. As mentioned before, KNOW your worth. Whatever you believe you can have, you can.
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