To that 1 person, whomever you are, thank you. I’m so touched.
will byers stan first human second
KIROKAZE
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Show & Tell

Kiana Khansmith

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★

Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

oozey mess
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Sweet Seals For You, Always
One Nice Bug Per Day
taylor price

titsay
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@areapplesoranges
To that 1 person, whomever you are, thank you. I’m so touched.
Surprise Joke Attack (It's Super-Effective)
Me: Hey, guess what.
Unsuspecting victim: What?
Me: Wow, you're a really good guesser.
Spoiler Alert (Batgirl Alert to Follow)
I'm going to go ahead and get this out of the way. Spoilers for every superhero movie and TV show from now until somebody actually dares to take a risk:
There will be a whole lot of twists; these will frequently stand in for what is typically known as a "plot point".
There will be an after-credits sequence that will tease some follow-up film (either a direct sequel or another franchise from the same company).
Any good writing that somehow finds its way into the film will quickly make way for an explosive action sequence or another twist that most of the audience will have seen coming.
Most of the film will be targeted at people who haven't read the entirety of the character's fictional biography. (This is because most people have not done so. A smaller majority probably hasn't even looked at the character's Wikipedia page.)
I'm such a bad boy.
While writing this, I lost The Game. I also lost 2048 seven times. I am not proud.
Shortcomings of The Hobbit (Get it?! SHORTcomings?!)
So, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m feeling really underwhelmed about the third Hobbit movie, which I find strange. I mean, the two Hobbit films we’ve had may not have been perfect, but they were still good. I didn’t not enjoy them, and they certainly aren’t that much worse than the original Lord of the Rings Trilogy (which I loved and enjoyed endlessly). There’s just something missing. I’d like to analyze this. Feel free to join me. You don’t have to, though.
Okay, let's look at some release dates here:
The Fellowship of the Ring was released December 19th, 2001. Most people my age (and at least some younger than me) should recognize that the world was vastly different then. Facebook did not exist. MySpace did not exist. In fact, just about every website you visit on a daily basis now was probably not around in 2001, and if it was, it was nothing like it is today. Social interactions online were starting to be a thing though (through AOL Instant Messenger and social forums online), and the majority of pioneers in this area were nerds and geeks. Meanwhile, in the real world, the infamous 9/11 bombings had just taken place no more than a few months ago. The United States of America had been directly attacked, and our response was to declare war. Most Americans didn't even really know what we were at war with, but suddenly, we were at war. We needed some kind of fantastic, epic tale to get our minds off of the horrors of the world. Finally, we've got Harry Potter, which revitalized and somewhat popularized fantasy reading for all ages in 1997 (1998 if you're American). In comes Peter Jackson's live action, epic take on the first chapter of The Lord of the Rings books. It does it all right, enough passion and love to keep the fans happy with all the glamour and grandiosity that only Hollywood can bring. Even better, what is the overarching looming within this film? An unlikely hero must accomplish an impossible task to defeat an enemy that he does not understand and end a war that threatens to tear the world apart. Secretly, everyone wants to be this hero (even if not everyone wants to be “Frodo”, per say).
In comparison, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was released on November 28th, 2012. Nearly a decade had passed since The Return of the King. Social media had exploded, causing a fair amount of hype fatigue early on. The War on Terror (and the Iraq War, for that matter) was all but over. The Harry Potter franchise had run the fantasy genre through its paces, so nothing felt as new and exciting as it once did. And to put another nail in the coffin, “geek” culture was becoming “cool”. Suddenly, everyone’s doing it, which means the filmmakers have to “broaden the target audience”.
To top it all off, there’s the change in my perspective. Around 2001-2002, I was just starting to get into more complex stories than what children’s novels had to offer, and The Lord of the Rings welcomed me with open arms. It was this fantastic new world, filled with characters I loved to hear about and conflicts that stirred my imaginative mind in ways that had never occurred to me. So, of course, when the films came out, this was like perfection to me. My favorite stories were all popping up on my favorite medium. Let’s not forget that film adaptations of Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean were also released around this time; high fantasy was doing pretty well for itself in Hollywood. Now, however, it’s been about a decade. I’ve matured as both a person and as an audience. I see what The Lord of the Rings means to the world, and I fear what muddling the franchise might do to that. I shudder when I think of people who have not seen Star Wars Episode Four because they feel like they’d have to watch Episodes One through Three first.
Now, that is not to say that The Hobbit is as bad as the Star Wars prequel trilogy. By all rights, The Hobbit has been good, but it has not been great. Case in point, we return to that speech from Sam in The Two Towers. Where is that anywhere in this new trilogy. Jackson has not once broken these new films’ breakneck pace for long enough to actually take a look at itself and say “what does this all mean?” Personally, I think you can throw out complaints about CGI and the fact that it’s a prequel. The fact of the matter is that the act of sending a message has changed. Back in 2001, even up through 2003, the media was largely responsible for creating meaningful content with ideas behind it. Now, with Facebook and Twitter enabling people to say what they want to whomever they want whenever they want (and with the birth of memes), “meaningful content” pops up about once every five seconds. There is no meaning in meaning anymore, and it has irreparably damaged what could have been a great trilogy. Oh, and the fact that they saw fit to cut two movies into three probably didn’t help.
You're waiting for a train...
Five Reasons Why Candles Are Way Better During A Black-Out Than Battery-Powered Lanterns (And Five Reasons Why That's Not True)
1. Candles are made of wax, which is all-natural and way better for the environment than petroleum based plastic.
Okay, so first off, just because something seems like it would be all-natural doesn't mean it actually is. Just like with food, many candles have artificial additives in them that serve to enhance their functionality as light sources, give them a "pretty" scent, or just straight-up make them more visually appealing. Also, most plastics are recyclable now. When's the last time you recycled old candle wax (that's not rhetorical. Seriously, I'd like to know.)
2. Candles can make your room smell better.
I assume you're talking strictly about scented candles, and the answer to that is "sometimes". Sometimes, they make your room smell better; sometimes, they mix in with the natural odors of your room and created an ungodly concoction that (believe me) you want nothing to do with; and sometimes, they just make you want to gag all by themselves. I've yet to see a scented battery-powered lantern, and I hope beyond hope that I never do.
3. What happens when you run out of batteries?
The same thing that happens when you run out of candle, I'll buy more.
4. Candles give off a soft light that's better for your eyes.
If it's dark, I want to be able to see more than two feet in front of me. I'll worry about the long-term implications when the lights come back on.
5. Candles will never cause an electrical fire.
No, they won't, but if you hold them too close to paper or any kind of fabric for too long, they will do a perfectly good job of causing a regular fire. The chances of a battery-powered lantern causing an electrical fire big enough to burn any part of your house down are slim to none.
Simply Breathtaking
Death: So, you glued your mouth and nostrils shut. What on Earth possessed you to do that?
Man: Well, my therapist told me I needed to break free from blind assumption and go do something people kept telling me I couldn't.
Death: But you actually CANNOT survive without breathing!
Man: Obviously, I know that now, but now I know for sure.
Death: Wonderful, though you're dead, so what are you going to do with that information?
Man: Okay, look. We can argue about this until we're blue in the face, or you can show me what happens next.
You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. If anyone tells you otherwise, you slap them. You slap them hard and in the face, and then you will have proven them wrong.
Homeowners Associated
Neighbor: Hey, I don't like that guy you hired to mow all our lawns. I'm going to stab you now.
Homeowner: I'd really rather you didn't. Can't we just talk about hiring a new guy?
Neighbor: No. I just talked with the other homeowners, and we all agreed we want the power to mow our own lawns.
Homeowner: But you have that power. We passed an opt-out form around at the last meeting when we agreed on this guy.
Neighbor: But in that form, it said you were responsible for keeping your lawn under a certain height.
Homeowner: Well, yeah. We agreed on that too. We're trying to improve our neighborhood's image so that if someone decides to sell their house, they can get a good price for it.
Neighbor: I've changed my mind. I discussed it with the others, and we've had enough of your tyranny.
Homeowner: What tyranny? The bylaws clearly state that every decision made by the association requires a unanimous vote. I'm just a mediator.
Neighbor: It's your name on the contract, so I'm going to stab you.
Homeowner: I'd really rather you didn't.
Neighbor: Okay, fine. Let's compromise. How about I shoot you in the head?
Homeowner: How is that any better?
Neighbor: That way, you won't feel anything.
Homeowner: But I'll still be dead!
5-7-5
I want to say hi
in some clever and glib way.
Haiku seemed to fit.