argentumetaurum

off doing anything but writing my part twos

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masterlist

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ welcome! i promise i will become super locked in soon and follow up on my part twos. this is an AI free blog. i do not use AI to produce any of my writing. please do not feed it to any llms!

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ i write male!reader, gn!reader, and female!reader

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ all content is generally sfw (minus curse words/minor violence)!

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ send an ask/leave a comment! i love to get them and i am an attention whore

marvel

tony stark

like a wrench in my plans, part two -> gn!reader

you're a business consultant for stark industries. tony's a little bit obsessed with you — but god forbid you ever find out. you'd never shut up, he knows.

mistaken identity (smau) -> gn!reader

your sister's asshole boyfriend snaps at her during a family dinner and storms off. angry, you text him to demand he come back — but you put his number into your phone wrong, and end up reaching, in a wild twist of fate, your longtime celebrity crush Tony Stark. funnily enough, you also happen to be his.

bucky barnes

hey there, hotshot, part two -> fem!reader

you work for the cia. when clint called you for your help on an operation in minsk, the absolute last person you thought you'd run into is bucky barnes, who you only recognize from old photos and history books. and you certainly didn't expect him to be a hydra agent, for god's sake. you really need to stop getting involved with SHIELD.

fourth wing

xaden riorson

just patrols -> gn!reader

a third-year student at basgiath, you've been messing around with xaden riorson for the past eight months, but something's been off lately. if only he'd talk to you about it, instead of sticking you on babysitting duty.

heated rivalry

sventlana vetrova

pretty russian dolls (one + two) (smau), part three -> fem!reader

you're shane's fraternal twin sister; six-minutes and thirty seconds older, to be exact. when you meet ilya's friend svetlana briefly at a hollander dinner party, you fall quick for the mysterious russian.

all the things she said (no one asked her) -> fem!reader

the club scene if the woman ilya was dancing with was a lesbian who was very concerned with the lethal levels of yearning happening around her and incapable of minding her own business. very short/silly one-shot.

shane hollander (m!reader only)

tugged around (smau), part two -> male!reader

you're a player for one of canada's premier soccer teams, the vancouver whitecaps. near the start of your career, rolex signed you as an ambassador, and have now asked you to guide a new player along in the brand sponsorship process: hockey phenom shane hollader. the problem — the more you talk to hollander, the deeper you fall for him.

license to kill, part two -> male!reader

you're in vancouver filming the new james bond movie when you secretly ditch the media ban to watch shane hollander and the metros play the vancouver canucks. when you're caught by the press, you need to come up with an excuse for your presence — one that shane is able to provide.

light a torch for me -> male!reader

every year, y/n l/n, center for the new york admirals, goes into the olympics looking to have fun. it's expected of him, too — everyone expects him to get papped at least once causing some sort of havoc in the olympic village, and sochi probably isn't going to be that different. except shane hollander's here, and y/n can't really keep himself away.

rent a boyfriend -> male!reader

shane hollander is worried that he’s homophobic. whenever his roommate’s boyfriend stays over in their dorm, shane can’t help but feel something rolling in his stomach — and, god, he doesn’t want to be a bigot, or anything. in a last minute attempt at exposure therapy, shane books himself a “rent-a-boyfriend” to try and train the homophobia out of him. said rent-a-boyfriend ends up being a little more appealing than shane thought initially possible. ilya rozanov is furious.

texting your boyfriend that you hit your attending's car -> male!reader

ilya rozanov

doctor, doctor!, part two, part three -> male!reader

you're a long suffering resident at boston general. one night, about twenty hours into your shift at the emergency room, you end up conducting a neuro check on concussed hockey player ilya rozanov. even high on pain killers, rozanov manages to both flirt with you and get on your nerves, and you find yourself strangely charmed by the russian.

hey, spiderman! -> male!reader

ilya rozanov didn’t grow up in boston, so he’s not familiar with the friendly neighborhood icon spiderman — at least until he runs into him in an alley and then proceeds to proposition the superhero on a rooftop. then he’s more familiar than most.

rent a boyfriend -> male!reader

shane hollander is worried that he’s homophobic. whenever his roommate’s boyfriend stays over in their dorm, shane can’t help but feel something rolling in his stomach — and, god, he doesn’t want to be a bigot, or anything. in a last minute attempt at exposure therapy, shane books himself a “rent-a-boyfriend” to try and train the homophobia out of him. said rent-a-boyfriend ends up being a little more appealing than shane thought initially possible. ilya rozanov is furious.

the bodyguard -> male!reader

ilya rozanov is being stalked. he's convinced he can handle it, but svetlana isn't so sure, so she calls in the old head of her protective detail to try and wrangle ilya in. both stubborn assholes convinced that they are infallibly incorrect, y/n and ilya clash immediately — but, below the fighting, there's something that neither one of them are quite willing to acknowledge.

definitions (smau), part two, part three, part four -> male!reader

cliff marleau's older brother, who majored in literature in college, is a self-proclaimed nerd. when cliff realizes that ilya's having trouble answering some interview questions in english, the solution is obvious: put him in contact with his older brother. what starts as the occasional request for help with a word tumbles into undefinable.

ratioed (affectionate), part two (smau) -> male!reader

childhood best friend reader and down bad ilya rozanov.

texting your boyfriend that you hit your attending's car -> male!reader

off campus

dean di laurentis

the helping hand, part two -> male!reader

you're dean di laurentis's best friend. the issue is that you're also a lot of people's best friends, and dean has spent the last three years at briar u fighting for your attention. so it's only natural that he feels jealous whenever you look at someone else, right? and it's only natural that he wants to be close to you — in more ways than one, these days.

nietzsche says... -> female!reader

epictetus said that the only way to happiness is to "cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." however, since the man clearly never met dean di laurentis, you're going to go ahead and ignore him. maybe the way to happiness is being a stubborn asshole, which you've got pretty down pat.

THE DEEP END, part two -> male!reader

you save dean from drowning in greece. three months later, he runs into you again... and fuck, he's never felt like this before. did he florence nightingale himself, or something? or is this what love feels like? oh, god; love? what is happening to him?

you've been catfished! -> female!reader

when tucker crushes hard on your twin sister, forces on both sides result in both you and dean making a very bad decision: to catfish each other. dean stands in for tucker over text, and you stand in for your sister — but you might be matchmaking yourselves more than the people you're supposed to be representing.

john logan

texting your boyfriend that you hit your attending's car -> male!reader

most recent updates/works:

nietzsche says... -> female!reader

THE DEEP END -> male!reader

texting your boyfriend that you hit your attending's car -> male!reader

[argentumetaurum]

in the fic writing stage where i've fully forgotten how to write

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I missed you so much :(

I MISSED YOU TOOOOOO

how have you been???? one of my fav moots

trust that once i manage to overcome this writers block i am hopping back on here

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heyyy! i’m just wondering what kind of content you have planned for the future? or do you kinda just go with the flow

hi!! currently i am writing a dean winchester x m!reader fic. reader is an fbi agent who doubles as a hunter. i am shamelessly setting up a scenario where they're going to pretend to be a couple but i need to get used to writing longer fics again so it's sort of taking things out of me haha.

from there i'm going to go to helping hand! then i'm going to finish the definitions series and a friend asked me to update ratioed so probably that then! and then i always get little fic ideas from media i consume so probably a new fic in there somewhere

i am so terrible at schedules because i get very busy in real life but hopefully fics should be getting updated soon!

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I shoulda slap the vertices of previous anon

LMAOOOO thank you so sweet of you. it's all good!!!!! i think ive turned off anon asks for the minute just for a bit of a break but they will be coming back soon for sure! and it doesn't really bother me because there are lovely people like you on this page which is why it is so fun to write!!!

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Hi I just have one question. Are you gonna keep doing the helping hand? It's so addictive

i have one answer!! so glad you're enjoying it

YES it is in the queue this dean winchester fic is haunting me rn but then i will start working my way through fics again. love mona in that and i will return. im very fond of that yn

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I just wanted to say that I love your writing and have enjoyed reading everything you’ve written! I was also wondering if I could be added to your tag list? I’m not sure if you have separate ones for your fandoms but I would love to be included on all of them!

oh my gosh this is so sweet of you! thank you so much for sharing this with me!!!! the biggest smile is on my face right now

yes of course i would be happy to add you to the general tag list!!!

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working on smau requests and a dean winchester x m!reader… ohohoho

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i feel like your male reader stories do not get as much attention as this new female x dean story.

5 parts?? your male fans are lucky if we even get a part two.

i normally don't respond to these kinds of asks, but i've been seeing a lot of behavior like this across fandom spaces. just as a reminder: fanfiction is for fun! i write what i'm interested in on my own timeline. if you don't want to see my stuff, feel free to scroll or unfollow me! leaving passive agressive messages as an anon does absolutely nothing. let's make sure that fandom spaces/communities stay fun for everyone involved. authors share because they enjoy doing so. ultimately, i don't write for your approval!

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nietzsche says... (part five)

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ epictetus said that the only way to happiness is to "cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." however, since the man clearly never met dean di laurentis, you're going to go ahead and ignore him. maybe the way to happiness is being a stubborn asshole, which you've got pretty down pat.

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ fem!reader, dean di laurentis x reader, smau. DO NOT ASK HOW LONG I SPENT ON CANVA FIGURING OUT INSTA STORIES TEMPLATES OH MY GOSH 😭

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ taglist: @ethanthequeefqueen, @spideyzzn, @lastonestandingastheplaywright, @madufw, @myhipsterparadise-blog1, @paige0103, @marifinnabepitgirl, @charliesmustachee, @fals3-g0d, @angelnameddani, @batmanssssss, @monayyy-21, @lovesturni0l0s, @balletteens, @moonlitparagraphs, @4jjsbank, @archxve, @velvetsighs, @kennedy-brooke, @urlocalbeaner5, @elliotsbeigeguitar, @hnnhbananananana, @downbadwellread

[kitkatpancakestack]

sidewalk art I walked by today. there is love out there.

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at the stage of stress where like everything in my chest feels icky and yucky and i know there are like three core tasks i could accomplish to instantly feel better about myself but i just can’t make myself do them

it’s like lying on the floor instead of your bed even though the mattress is right there because you’re too dirty to get into bed without showering, but showering requires energy you do not have so you just keep hurting your back on the floor

to remedy this i need to read some gay fanfiction

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you've been catfished!

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ when tucker crushes hard on your twin sister, forces on both sides result in both you and dean making a very bad decision: to catfish each other. dean stands in for tucker over text, and you stand in for your sister — but you might be matchmaking yourselves more than the people you're supposed to be representing.

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ fem!reader, dean di laurentis x reader, smau + text.

˚⁎⁺˳ . ⊹ prologue

“Y/n, please. I’m telling you, I think he could be the one!” 

“Leave me alone.”

“He’s really perfect, Y/n. He loves economics, and he cooks, and…” Eliza pleads, trailing off as she shoots you a hopeful look.

“What part of ‘leave me alone’ was unclear?” You ask.

“Y/n, you owe me.”

“Eliza, I am in the middle of an unparalleled run on Tomb Runner. Please fuck off,” You grit, inclining your head at the door. “I gave you a key for emergencies, you crazy woman.”

“Don’t call me a crazy woman!” Eliza exclaims, jumping up from where she’d been perched on an armchair. “Unbelievable that you are a Women’s Studies major.”

“Crazy is crazy, ‘Liza. You used to host political intrigue events for your stuffed animals,” You say, still focused entirely on your tiny blonde avatar vaulting over tree roots on your screen. You swipe a careful finger, moving him to the right-most path on the virtual stone and through a line of coins. 

“You will never understand the socio-political implications of Ani-Ville.” 

“You named it?” You laugh, risking a glance upwards to see Eliza towering over you. “And I think I have a pretty good understanding that you were just in lust with Olivia Pope, babe. We shared a room for eighteen years.”

“Y/n!” 

“Get out of my apartment!” You cry back. “We’re gonna see each other in like 45 minutes for family brunch! I need to shower!”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not just gonna put on some dry shampoo and call it a day,” Eliza cuts back. “Lying to family is bad form.”

“Killing family is worse form, ‘Liza, but it’s gonna happen if you don’t get the fuck out of my apartment in the next 30 seconds.”

When you and your sister had chosen to go to the same college a 15 minute drive from where you’d grown up, you had anticipated there was bound to be some tense interactions. You loved Eliza to death, but your twin drove you up the fucking wall. Over three years at Briar U, she had reliably cycled from your best friend to your worst enemy and back again.

You were in “worst enemy” territory now.

“I went to Sean’s tuba recital last week,” Eliza says suddenly, folding down criss-cross applesauce next to the couch you’re sprawled across. She stares at you, face now level with yours. “It wasted three hours of my life.”

“Ah, I’m sure Sean couldn’t have been that bad,” You brush off, attention still on your phone. “And that was payback for me taking your Chemistry exam for you.”

Being a twin had a lot of advantages. Oftentimes, even your parents couldn’t tell you and Eliza apart; you were vastly different people, but on the surface, you were truly identical. Growing up, this meant a lot of “switching” for convenient situations. You’ve probably tested under Eliza’s name as many times as your own, and Liza’s mastered your asshole-ish demeanor well enough to pass as you at any event you didn’t want to attend. 

“I’ll fill in for you for any five events you want,” Eliza tries. “Even Sean-related ones!”

You try not to let her see that she’s caught your attention. 

As much as you loved Allie, your best friend, your friendship came with a pretty nasty caveat. Allie demanded company at any of her boyfriend Sean’s super lame events, which were seemingly endless because of his super lame hobbies. While your switches with Eliza usually worked pretty well on a give and take system, she typically categorically refused to fill in at a Sean-event unless she was truly desperate. 

You felt a little guilty tricking Allie like that, but it wasn’t like she would ever know. You would take the out.

“Hm,” You say, purposefully casual. “What do you need again?”

“I need you to text someone for me. A guy. His name’s Tucker, and I think he’s perfect.”

“Why don’t you just do it?” You ask, cursing as you almost miss a turn. 

“I am so shit at texting, you know that. And, y’know… you get around enough that I figured you’d be good at it…” Eliza mutters.

“Are you calling me a slut? Who’s being misogynistic now?”

“No! I’m just saying I’m sure you’d be able to charm him!”

You glance up at her over the screen of your phone. “Ten events and you got yourself a deal.”

“Six,” Eliza returns immediately. 

“Eight.”

“Deal.”

“Great! Give me the phone.”

“Dean, please. I’m telling you, I think she could be the one!”

“Tucker, bud, I love you, but I’m gonna need us all to lower our voices.”

Tucker rolls his eyes and grabs a pair of discarded sunglasses from the counter, lobbing them at Dean. They smack against his cheek and clatter down into the plate of scrambled eggs Tucker had placed in front of him.

“Nice catch,” Tucker says dryly. 

Dean flips him off and fishes the glasses out of his breakfast, wiping them off with a paper towel before sliding them onto his face. 

“Fuck you.”

“You’re like a suburban mom with a wine addiction,” Tucker muses. “Really, Dean, I don’t think your liver can take anything more.”

“I barely had anything to drink last night,” Dean protests immediately. “Stop mother-henning me.”

“Whatever.” Tucker rolls his eyes and plops down next to Dean as he begins to eat. “I really need you to do me this favor.”

Dean glances at him. “What was it again? You want to, what, sit in the texting cuck chair?”

Tucker splutters. “No! No, of course not. It’s just… you know how I get with women. It’s really fucking awkward, and I… I really like this girl, Dean. Just… will you text her for a little while for me? Just to break the ground.”

Dean grins, mouth full of egg. Tucker shakes his head, disgusted.

“You don’t ‘break the ground’ with women, dude. I’m not gonna text a girl for you. That’s insane.”

“What, texting a girl?” Tucker prods. “When was the last time you even did that?”

Dean scowls. “What?”

“You heard me,” Tucker replies, flippant. He’s edging a line. “When was the last time you actually texted a girl, instead of just fucking and dumping her? I don’t think you still have it.”

Dean wags a finger at Tucker. “Ah-ah. You’re not gonna goad me into this.”

“If you don’t think you can, I’ll just ask Garret.”

“Garret?” Dean exclaims. “Are you insane? That guy’s idea of flirting is to bring ‘em to the rink and skate around like a peacock.”

Tucker shrugs. “He seems more qualified that you.”

“Give me that fucking phone!”

Embarrassingly, Dean’s still thinking about the girl an hour later. 

Tucker had been ecstatic, albeit nervous, about the dinner date. Dean was honestly surprised. Tucker usually went for soft, kind women, and the girl Dean had been texting was anything but.

She was funny. And fucking gorgeous, too, based on the picture Tucker had cursorily showed him off of Instagram. He’d caught the last half of the username: L/n. Her contact name on Tucker’s had just been a string of heart emojis, so that was all he had to go off of. L/n.

Of course, ultimately, Tucker liked her, so it didn’t matter what Dean thought. And he definitely shouldn’t still be thinking about her. 

Feeling guilty, he rolls over in his bed. He’d begged off breakfast shortly after the texting conversation had ended, citing a hangover headache. Tucker had let him go easily, thanking him profusely, and Dean had waved it off.

He hadn’t been entirely sure why he was fleeing. He just knew that he suddenly had to get away from Tucker, which was fucked up. He loves Tucker. He loves Tucker a hell of a lot more than a girl he’d texted for, like, five minutes tops. 

So why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?

Dean gropes for his phone on the bedside table. Maybe it was just residual curiosity. He’ll check out her Instagram, and that will be that. Besides, he’s sure dinner is going to be great tomorrow. Everyone loves Tucker. 

It feels wrong to swipe over to Instagram. He ignores the deluge of notification and hovers over the search bar. 

Dean glances at the door. It’s shut, unlike usual. 

Ah, fuck it. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything about it. 

He types “L/n” into the browser. About 20 profiles pop up. He flicks through them until he finds one with “Briar U” listed in the bio. It’s a public account, thank god, so he opens the first picture. 

Yeah, that’s her. Fuck, she’s gorgeous. 

Before he knows it, he’s scrolling. Her captions are stupid, the pictures cut-off and a little blurry, and yet…

She’s the most gorgeous woman he’s ever seen. And also probably about to start dating one of his closest friends. Fantastic.

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dean di laurentis and his partner are at a party for people pledging for dean's frat

yn goes to hang out with some friends while dean dunks on all the pledges with beau (he'd made you go to business costco with him to get bulk packs of fruits of escalating sizes. you'd sat in the food court and ate half a chicken bake and a strawberry banana smoothie while he'd ran around charging things on the frat's card)

he starts getting really rowdy with the mini games that they're playing with the pledges and a couple of guys peel off to go find his partner to please get him to calm down

you're so confused when they come up to you

"you're... you're dating dean, right?"

"oh god is this an emergency contact situation can i delegate i delegate to john tucker"

"no we just... will you please come calm him down?"

"calm him down from what???? oh god are they watching spirit stallion of the cimarron he KNOWS that it makes him cry"

"what? no... will you just come with us?"

"yeah sure i'll come but then there will just be two people crying at an animated horse movie"

they drag you over and present you to dean like you're supposed to somehow reign him in

what they did not predict is that you enable the fuck out of each other. you immediately get way too into the mini games and start demolishing the pledges while dean just gets even MORE hyped

"no you were supposed to calm him down!!!!!"

"why im not his parent??? why would i date him if i didn't like how much of a competitive asshole he is? the only one he's gonna lose to here is me because he can't play beer pong for shit"

"sweetheart cmon you know that's a sore spot"

"go cry at that horse movie loser boy"

"FUCK are they playing spirit yn i can't go through that tonight"

"i know baby"

"thanks hon"

"no i was calling you a baby. horse boy"

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have you heard that elon musk is gonna make an entire ai version of the odyssey that is “historically accurate”

WHAT 😭😭

elon musk is a scourge on this earth i hate this guy

where was his issue when brad pitt was cast as achilles and a german actress was playing helen of troy

go cry to grok you useless fuck

my god

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just read a fanfic then as i was exiting saw the ai tag and threw up in mouth a little bit. i hate gen AI and it does not belong in creative spaces. if you use gen AI you are a loser. you can wipe your ass without claude i know you can do it bud

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oh my god I am have just read all of nietzsche says and the way I was CACKLING!!!! it is incredible and genuinely hilarious. very in character imo and I need that big beefy drama queen of a man. big fan of your work my liege. love u<3

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU this made me smile!!! i'm so glad that you're enjoying it! this totally gave me the boost to post the next chapter!!