the steady breakdown of healthy communication in the roleplay community in the past six years is something that i often think is going to have to be addressed at some point if we want to continue to even have a functional community at all. i understand greatly that a lot of the toxic behavior, fandom purity culture, petty call outs and bullying etc. that went off the rails around 2016 has left damage on a lot of people. it’s fostered a sense of anxiety which has only grown with each year because, as a whole, tumblr can have the unfortunate affinity to nurse it’s anxiety and feed it which in turn can make us feed each other’s anxiety. until it’s one big messy circle of us accidentally isolating and polarizing ourselves and each other. at some point, you have to be willing to step forward and take initiation to be part of the healing process in yourself and in your community.
most of us on here have anxiety and bad experiences. i am hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t have some kind of horror story. and while it is completely understandable for that to affect one’s self worth or cast a shadow on future interactions, it’s unhealthy to never work through that. and it’s also incredibly counterintuitive to use it as a reason to no longer take initiative with ooc or ic interactions. that creates a whole community of people waiting for the other person to take the responsibility and do all the work to make them comfortable. this is a creative, interactive hobby. it has to be 50/50. you have to meet people half-way. and when someone does take initiative to meet you half-way first, you have to take your steps towards them too.
on that note, i really think we have to learn to communicate our needs and boundaries in a healthy way. you can’t have your boundaries respected until you’re willing to communicate them. i’m not talking about obvious things like harassment or manipulation etc. but the personal things that might make you suddenly decide to disengage with someone but you never communicated that was an issue and then expect them to not be confused or hurt or want to know why— it’s a really ridiculous culture cropping up in rpc. the “you don’t owe anyone anything” mentality gets really out of hand and out of context the longer this site continues. and it goes to foster the continuation of anxiety which makes people anxious during plotting, anxious to interact on the dash, anxious to send the wrong meme, anxious to talk about the wrong thing because at any minute it could have meant they did something that makes them lose a connection without knowing why. and without a chance to do better or simply accommodate each other’s needs like you should in a normal, healthy friendship.
i honestly don’t know that this post will actually do anything. it’s probably for my catharsis and the 15 people who will like it and that’s okay. but i really really hope something someday makes this community start to repair the lines of communication and collectively learn to work through our anxiety together. cause at the end of the day pretty much any “but what about X Y Z reason” for not meeting someone half-way is also the exact same reason several other people on your dash have for holding back. at some point, something’s gotta give.
areudirty
gummygunk
jbbartram-illu
prguitarman
