You have no idea about what is to come soon, and that´s fine. What would be the point, really?Â
What would you need to know that in a few months you´ll meet someone that will sweep off your feet forever for? Seriously, forever. I mean this, approximately in May you´re going to fall in love for the first time, I know you´re young but love is like that. You can wait to know that soon you´ll start a long two and a half year journey on the quest for your true sexuality (and your true self)
Let me tell you a few shocking things, just like those ones:
The group of girls you call your friends today? You find them utterly uninteresting, you haven´t realized, but you do. They´re all shallow and so not the people you need to be with, yes, even your so called best friend. Eventually you´ll find the most amazing group of people and you´ll realize that all of this stupid pretending to be someone you´re not is absolutely pointless. You are amazing, you always have been, your true self is so fantastic but this horrific character you´ve created in the past years is so sickening to me.. stop this and just let yourself be.
I know you have these big plans and you´re going to be a fantastic writer of the most boring, irrelevant pieces of garbage literature that you´re going to then turn into disgusting tacky films for people that don´t think one bit, but hey! You actually like music! The piano actually is what you love the most and in some years you´re going to be working your butt off to become a world-class musician (and you´re going to read good literature again). There is one thing I´m very proud of you for and that is being able to survive the three years with the hell teacher from Cuba and not giving up, I wouldn't have been that strong. Worry not, in some months she´ll actually tell you that she´s retiring and you´ll start a whole new chapter in your life.
Soon you´ll read your first Virginia Woolf, and will that change you forever... it´ll aid you in the whole sexuality thing, in your sociopolitical views, in changing you as a human being for the better and finding your true aspirations for the future.
Oh, also, you do love London, it´s a beautiful city, but you just don´t love it in the way you think you do, you do in a much more significant way. But you´ll travel in a few years to a place that you´ll feel at home the second you see: Berlin, that is the place you actually want to spend the rest of your life in. You as well love your own city much more than you think.
Hey, I must admit I don´t like you one bit, but that´s ok, it´s a part of life to be the worst possible version of yourself (yes, that´s you). And in any case you´re about to enter a time in your life that will be filled with the biggest, greatest changes and you´ll eventually reach the point in which you turn into someone that I actually like. Just be yourself and stay away of those people, dammit.
With certain love and some regrets for letting you be a part of me, your 17 year old self, just 4 short years away in time.
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