[infcrni]

           ❛ man, i’m just thinking of all the possibilities. sure we’re on the fuckin’ brink of death on the daily. i mean, there’s a god damn zombie apocalypse right outside those gates & we’re just sitting duck. but there’s also starvation, dehydration, accidentally pissing off some ex-con, tripping & impaling yourself with your own knife, crossing paths with a feral bobcat, eating some decade old canned beans, walking into a freakin’ wasps nest ––– CHOKING ON YOUR FOOD. ❜

[arholzer-blog]

      “ wouldn’t you rather not be thinkin’ about death if you’re on the brink of death anyways ? i’m just tryin’ to find your POINT in all of this man. ”

[beyonces]

[ofbcrbara-blog]

the blonde carefully picked the spider up with a spare paper she saw sitting around before moving it away from where the two were at. when she returned she responded, ‘ there’s nothing wrong with being scared of ‘em if you are. i’m sure there’s some sort of reason they’ve got all those legs. not a reason i know of or understand but there’s got to be one. ‘

[arholzer-blog]

       “ thank ya kindly. fine, i’ll admit ; i might be a little scared -- -- but i tell you, it’s a fuckin’ valid fear. y’know what, i don’t even wanna know why they have that many legs, i just know they shouldn’t. that’s too much fuckin’ POWER. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “maybe we’ll have to ask a girl wearing braids. we can learn, yeah? just enlist her for the day to teach the kids how to braid and i’ll skip and show up because i want to learn too.”

[arholzer-blog]

      “ right on,  i’ll set up a date for a braid-teachin’ workshop ; but you shouldn’t skip. won’t ya get in trouble or somethin’ ? ”

[infcrni]

          ‘ are you telling me that every person who’s ever had the unfortunate experience of choking on their food –– secretly couldn’t chew all along ? all it takes –– is a SLIGHT mishap and you could be suffocating on a god damn chicken nugget. not anymore, probably. but like… i could definitely choke on this shit, you know ? the death of me could be the crap on my plate right now. the infected ? fuck ‘em. the drought ? sure, kind of contributing by removing my ability to water it down ! but all in all, –– this piece of barely edible food could be my end. ’

[arholzer-blog]

       “ man you wouldn’t fuckin’ BELIEVE the amount of people who eat and swallow their food like it’s a fuckin’ RACE. they barely chew it twice before it’s goin’ down their esophagus or whatever. so yeah, some people don’t fuckin’ know how to chew. fine, there’s a very unlikely chance that you could choke on your food and die ; but there’s a more likely chance that you won’t die from chokin’ on your food. guess i can see why you’re worried ; no dignity in d y i n g from chokin’ on shitty food. ” 

[infcrni]

@arenholzer​ said ; “ c’mon, it’s lunchtime, relax. ”

        ‘ i am relaxed ! just thinking, though. –– – like what the hell would happen if i choked on my food, y’know ? a slight gasp for air while taking a bite, –– & i could be fuckin’ gone ! ’

[arholzer-blog]

       “ seriously ? yeah but, that’s like not even an apocalypse-related death ; with a fuckin’ one percent chance of happenin’. as long as your parents told you to chew your food PROPERLY before swallowin’ -- -- you should be good. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “well we just need to teach them to braid well. do you know how to braid, aren? cus’ i sure as FUCK don’t.”

[arholzer-blog]

      “ yeah you just put the outside string on the inside then ... ‘m sure it can’t be that hard if girls can wear their hair in braids practically every day. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “maybe we can like… braid grass strands together as an ATTEMPT to make rope. i mean, that’s how they used to do it, right?”

[arholzer-blog]

       “ well i dunno, did they ? it’ll keep ‘em BUSY if nothin’ else -- ‘til they start cryin’ because their rope keeps breakin’ on them. ”

[ofbcrbara-blog]

@arenholzer — ’ i don’t like spiders, okay ? ‘ !!

‘ they are pretty creepy looking so i don’t blame you. want me to get rid of it for you ? ‘

[arholzer-blog]

“ yeah if you could, i ain’t scared or anythin’ ; but fuck, nothin’ should have EIGHT legs. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “you pull out another pair of shoes, OBVIOUSLY. i mean, now i’ll be down to one pair, but i won’t mind. it’s for the children! what do you do when your shoes get soaked you one pair man?”

[arholzer-blog]

       “ take ‘em off, put em out to DRY ; ain’t that what everyone does ? plus, i never said i was a one pair guy -- i am but ... one pair of laces ain’t gonna be enough. if we’re gonna do this, we gotta do it right. the kids have to be at least far enough that they couldn’t just talk to each other normally. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “yeah, of course i’ve got another pair! god, who do you think i am, aren? running around with only one pair of shoes. what will you do if you get a soaker?”

[arholzer-blog]

       “ honestly ? you seem like a ONE pair of shoe kinda guy. i’m sorry for misjudging your character regardin’ how many pairs of shoes you have. a soaker ? why wouldn’t you just say what’re you gonna do if your shoes get soaked ? ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

     “you can have mine! my shoes are a wreck anyways, and ‘m basically donating the laces to science!”

[arholzer-blog]

    “ there’s no way i’m takin’ your shoelaces ; your shoes might be a WRECK, but they’ll be unusable without the laces. unless you got another pair. you got another pair ? ”

[rectvs]

‘ actually, i asked because i misunderstood. thought you were relating to the selling myself bit. ’

[arholzer-blog]

       “ well i’ve never, uh, SOLD myself, so. i - - hm, next topic of conversation ? unless, unless you wanted to talk ‘bout it ; y’know i’m here for you and all that shit. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “do you think we’ll have any string left? or do we need to collect shoe laces?”

[arholzer-blog]

    “ but who’s going to willingly give up the laces from their shoes maverick ? ”

[arholzer-blog]

top 3 people u would stick ur dong in

      “ the only people i really know here are the kids i supervise, maverick & easton ; and i have no intention of sticking my DONG in any of them. ”

[arholzer-blog]

❖ when ur fucking someone, do you ALWAYS look in the mirror, or do you sometimes also stare at ur own dick? for science.

      “ what ? i don’t, who would ; neither. ”

[maverickdunn-blog]

      “robots? how about can phones? we can have them hook up a full new communication system in this town.”

[arholzer-blog]

     “ yeah that could work actually, you get the string, i’ll ask rations for cans ; these kids are gonna get spoiled. ”