Hey, the name's Caitlin. I am a 22-year-old student of philosophy with minors in linguistics and english. Music: Classical, alternative, jazz, soft rock... Hobbies: Reading, drawing, road biking, mountain biking, running, studying, gaming, and experiencing anything at least once. Favorite Obsession: Words and language. To be exact, I love studying morphology, syntax, and semantics. Favorite Quote: "I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex. " --Bertrand Russell Basically, I love life. Anything and everything to do with it, I love. That might be a very controversial statement, but that is the beauty of it. What is it that you think I mean by this? Well, why don't you ask me to tell you about it? I would be delighted.
If I keep saying it, if I keep reaching out. My accident really taught me just one thing: the only way to go on is to go on. To say ‘I can do this’ even when you know you can’t.
Nietzschean asceticism, which begins with the recognition of fatality, ends in a deification of fate. The more implacable destiny is, the more it becomes worthy of adoration. A moral god, pity, and love are enemies of fate to the extent that they try to counterbalance it. Nietzsche wants no redemption. The joy of self-realization is the joy of annihilation
Alright, recently I just got out of a relationship that, to make a long story short, was one of the most beautifully toxic relationships I have ever been in. He was the music in my head, and I the words from his lips. But, even though he and I fell in love with one another, it was a toxic kind of love. This quote will sum up what we were:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
First, yes, fear is a big part of feeling when it comes with relations with others. You are afraid to try, afraid to give yourself to another, afraid that you will be happy only to have it one day taken away. But, that is the point, isn't it? Isn't that fear a wonderful thing? The fact that you even tried is great. Because, if you don't even try to conquer those fears, you will never know what you could have had or what might have been, or worse, you will have become a self-fulfilling prophecy and destroyed what could have been amazing.
Second, don't EVER expect someone to save you, or to fix you, or go into a relationship thinking you can fix or save the other person. If you do, you are destined to fail right away. The cool thing about my relationship was that we both knew that we had our own shit to deal with. I knew that he had things that only he could deal with, and he knew that I had things that only I could deal with. And that was cool. But, the thing that he failed to understand was, the fact that I wanted to be there for him if he ever needed anything was not the same as me wanting to turn him into, what he called, a "project." I would never have done something for him that was too much for me, and I expected the same from him. It is a really tricky line to balance on, respecting the powers of an individual and that of a bond. But, that distinction must be made in order to work well with another.
The last thing I want to address in this post are the quotes that concern themselves with saying they wish that they never met the person that caused them so much pain. This is complete and utter bullshit. Yes, it does fucking suck that you got hurt and that it might take a long time to heal from that hurt and the memories. But, to say that you would rather not have experienced what you learned from the person that you grew to have feelings for/love.... it's idiotic bullshit. What people should be making quotes on is how much it hurt to let go, but how grateful he/she was to have met that person, to have experienced the good and the bad, and to have learned from all of it. To hate or to regret only causes malice and acid veins. If one really wants to move on, to heal and grow strong, then one has to let go. One has to get past all the emotions that cloud and distort truth.
Jade and I ended on very bad terms. We still talk from time to time, and he cannot seem to let go. To be honest, I find it really hard to let go as well, but I know that it is best for me to move on. I am not a hypocrite with the analysis that I made above. I understand where people are coming from-- the wanting to be angry, hurt, and full of despair at having trust broken. I've wanted to feel all of that, and I allowed myself to for a short while. But I know in my heart that I deserve more than to wallow. He deserves more than my hatred. I will always love him in a way that I will never love another, but there is always room to let another in. There is always strength to give oneself again. There is always wit, beauty, and life within yourself and others, and that is more meaningful and worth more than all of these silly love quotes we seem so attracted to.
(Yes, I am aware that I used a quote in a post about love quotes, but I will let you realize for yourself that maybe I did this on purpose.)
So you’d sing a lullaby to get me to sleep
So it’s no surprise my eyes are never heavy
For i’ve not seen you in the flesh for so long
That i’m not sure we would know each other at all
Oh the weight it must be light wherever you are
And i know you don’t think twice wherever you are
Oh the weight it must be light wherever you are
And i know you don’t think twice wherever you are
So i will hum alone, too far from you
All that i say now is nothing to you
We will lie under different stars
I am where i am and you’re where you are, you’re where you are.
Oh the weight it must be light wherever you are
And i know you don’ t think twice wherever you are
And i’d ask if you’re all right wherever you are
And do you think of me, you might, wherever you are.
Some people reach a place in time where they’ve gone as far as they can. A place where wives and jobs collide with desire. That which is unknowable and those who remain out of sight. See what it is invisible and you will see what to write. That’s howBobby used to put it. It was the invisible people he wanted to live with. The ones that we walk past everday, the ones we sometimes become. The ones in books who live only in someones mind’s eye. He was a man who was destined to go through life and not around it. A man who was sure the shortest path to Heaven was straight through Hell. But the truth of his handicap lay only in a mind both exalted and crippled by too many stories and the path he chose to become one. Bobby Long’s tragic flaw was his romance with all that he saw. And I guess if people want to believe in some form of justice, then Bobby Long got his for a song.
Seeing couples together-- especially when you are the only single one in the room at the moment-- fills the one who is single with a kind of hollow emptiness-- a pang of strange loneliness.
origamiaround
stormborns
dailybridgerton
areudirty
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
2087
pixelskylines
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
izzy806
gracieabrams
