I think I accidentally deleted my old Masterlist so this one isn’t up to date yet sorry
I take requests but that doesn’t promise I’ll write it if I’m not inspired, and I am working on part 2′s for fics but I’m particularly interested in fluff prompts rn... if anyone has suggestion
also, if you make a request and specifically want smut or no smut, say that or I’ll get write whatever comes to mind. and if you want a specific kink in the smut let me know. I try not to get too kinky unless requested :)
** indicates smut
Ao3: psaARIZONA2004
ACOTAR
Azriel
The fight
part 1 part 2**
Who the real wolves are
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5** Part 6
Connected** Part 2** Part 3
Pinky promise
Even on the Bad Days
Everything’s Gonna Be Okay
Like Father like son
Early Morning’s
Lovely Torture**
Cassian
Waiting for you**
No Nut November**
Homewrecker
Part 1** Part 2** Part 3**
Crushing
Bloodiest Day
I Hate You**
Finally
300
Cazriel
Jealous **
Sensitive **
Slow **
Cazriel x reader
Two Illyrian and their good girl**
Take two**
Safe haven
Rhys
Oops I fucked my High lord**
part 2
I hate you, I love you
Nyx
Untitled Fluff
Rhys is a helicopter mom
Courts of Love and Hate -multi chapter fic Nyx x Tamlin’s daughter
Warnings: depression, suicidal ideations(reader). Mean Az? hurt/comfort, angst
In a matter of an hour or two we were finally separated. It felt strange for his hand to not be weighing mine down and as I rubbed along my wrist adjusting to the feeling Azriel fled on silent feet. When I looked up his figure was retreating around a corner, I couldn’t even call out for him.
“What the hell happened to your neck?” Cassian’s question pulls my eyes away from the spot I last glimpsed Azriel’s back.
“Nothing.” I snap, pulling the shirt-Azriel’s shirt- closer around my neck.
“Damn. Az is kinkier than I thought.” I don’t say anything, deciding to follow Az’s lead and leave our obnoxious friends.
*
It takes about a week but the bruises on my neck fade and with them all of the other bruises Azriel left on my body too. The ones between my thighs and on my back. On my breasts and of course the ones hidden on my neck beneath the fresher bruises from his hand.
I hate to see them go, even the one caused by his nightmare. They’re each a mark of him on my body, but they’re only temporary. I suppose so was he and whatever we had. Except, I guess, we never had anything at all.
I sneak up to the roof, trying to catch him training, but he’s never there. Cassian and Rhys spar and when I ask about the shadowsinger they just give me a sad look and say they don’t know where he is.
He isn’t in his office when I stop by, and if he’s in his bedroom he doesn’t answer the door, but I can’t bring myself to just walk inside.
He’s avoiding me and something in my chest aches at the thought. I never hated him. I was frustrated and annoyed and constantly confused by him. None of that seems to have changed, but now I’m also sad at his loss.
I don’t want to think about what that might mean, so I shove it away. He can’t avoid me forever.
*
When I finally do see Azriel again it is at a family dinner. I didn’t expect him to make an appearance. He hadn’t shown up to the last two dinners, but he’s hear now. Sitting directly across from me. Staring at his plate.
He speaks even less than usual. Three words. I can’t help but count them. One ‘yes’ and another ‘no, thanks.’
I can’t take my eyes away. If I look away then I won’t catch it when he finally looks at me, but he never does. Dinner passes, then desert, then everyone moves to the sitting room for drinks. He still hasn’t looked at me.
As I’m about to walk into the room after the rest of our family I notice that I’ve lost sight of him. The click of the front door behind me has me spinning around. He’s leaving? After I’ve barely gotten to see him?
My feet begin moving to the door before I even know what I’m doing. He’s already walking away from the house, past the steps, and about to cross the street.
“Az! Wait,” the words come out exasperated, though my voice is finally back to normal. Azriel’s shoulders drop, but he does stop. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
“I’m talking to you right now.”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“Maybe I’ve had enough of your company for a while.” His tone is as harsh as his words and his face is unmoving like stone.
“Wh-what?”
“We were stuck together for days. I’ve had enough of you probably for the next year.” Still, his expression doesn’t change.
Of course. I was stupid enough to think after the sex after him telling me a fraction of a story from his childhood that we could be something more. I thought that at least we could be friends, but he was back to himself. Back to being the male that scowls and snaps at me. Back to the male that dragged me behind him the first day, not caring about the pain I was in.
He certainly didn’t seem to care about the pain he was inflicting now as he spun back around and continued to walk away from the river house.
*
After choking my tears back, refusing to let him make them fall, I clear my throat and glance back at the house. Everyone is still inside. They’re expecting me to return. I know I need to, I won’t let Azriel or anyone think that my feelings are hurt over this.
I decide to take the long way back into the house, though. Walking to the side of the massive stone building, I enter the gardens at the back. The rows of flowers and plants are not empty as I suspected, though. Elain is sitting withing a patch of roses humming when I walk by.
She scowls when she sees me. Ignoring it, and her presence all together, I continue on my path.
“Did you get everything you wanted?” Her sharp tone has me halting and her next words make me turn around entirely. “Are you happy now that you’ve taken a good man away from me? I deserve him.”
“Male,” is all I say as she stands to her feet. She’s slightly taller than me, but I’m much stronger.
Her eyes roll at my correction and her mouth twists further. “It makes no difference.”
“You should address fae properly. Many of us consider it disrespectful to be compared to humans.
“Is that what this is about? You think I am worth less and unworthy of Azriel because I am human?”
“Were human. You’re not anymore. And I have no idea what you’re going on about.”
“Sure you don’t. You play all innocent, but Azriel refused to take me out again. You did something, I know you did.”
“I haven’t-”
“You think you can just entrap him, but he’ll realize how worthless you are. Your charms will wear off and he’ll see the ugly you hide under your not so pretty exterior. You seduced him for now, but he’ll realize that I’m a better match and come back to me.”
The words hurt more than I want to admit. I know I’m not as striking as Mor or as effortlessly beautiful as Feyre. I’ve never been the smartest or funniest. But I’ve tried to never be unkind either. So instead of saying anything back, I turn on my heel and continue inside, ‘worthless’ echoing in my head like an old friend calling out my name.
*
The wine slides down my throat easily as I collapse into a chair besides Cassian. I down the first one and hold my glass out for whoever will poor into it first. Everyone seems to hesitate for a second, but then Rhys is filling it to the brink.
I keep quiet while words echo inside my head. All of the things I want to say. To Elain, to Azriel. All of the things I say to myself. Worthless.
The hours drag on, slightly sped up by the wine dragging in my blood. It must be really late when Cassian stands up and grabs my hand.
“No. I’m having fun.”
“There’s no one left to have fun with, sweetheart.”
A quick look around the room reveals that Cas and I are the last two remaining out here. “Where did everyone go?”
“They went to bed an hour ago.” oh “I’ve been waiting for you to talk, but you’re keeping all your pretty little thoughts inside. I think maybe you and Az did spend too much time together.” He chuckles a little at his joke, but now my thoughts are elsewhere. Azriel.
“Come on.” Cassian reaches to pull me up, but when it becomes clear that I can’t stand on my own he lets out a hearty laugh and lifts me into his arms.
We’re upstairs to my bedroom at the river house before I can process another thought and Cassian is setting me onto my bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“I saw you and Az arguing out front.” My gaze locks on his. “No one else noticed. I wont tell.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“I know I’m no expert of females, but I do know enough to know that ‘fine’ never really means fine with them.”
I can’t help the smile that blooms on my face. “I’ll be okay, really. I guess I just thought that maybe I’d finally made him like me. That we would be friends. I was wrong.”
“y/n-”
“No matter what I do it’s always wrong or never good enough.”
Cassian’s eyes turn sad, but before he can say anything back I let my eyes drift closed and fall into sleep.
*
The next morning I have a pounding headache, but worse than that is the ache in my chest. Not just from my conversation with Azriel, but from Elaine's words too. I had hoped that I wouldn’t remember any of it, but it is stuck in my head like glue.
Over breakfast I don’t speak to anyone, the conversations replaying in my head over and over again. No one speaks to me either and I start to spiral.
Do I always initiate conversations? Does anyone ever actually want to talk to me or do I just but in? I’m annoying. I can’t really be their friend. It’s like Elain suggested, I’m just convenient, barely good at my job, so I get a spot at the table. They don’t really like me.
Bile rises up my throat and I quickly run to the bathroom. No one calls after me.
The thoughts plague me all day as I attempt to catch up on the work I missed. The work I couldn’t do while I was bound to the shadowsinger. I slam my eyes closed to banish the thought, but instead unwelcome images burn into my eyelids.
Azriel’s face when she spoke to me. His emotionless tone. ‘I’ve had enough of you’ ‘worthless’ ‘Ugly’ ‘boring’ ‘plain’ ‘loud’ ‘obnoxious’ Then finally one last image, one more thought. Blood, the feeling of it on my skin. The feeling of the wind this high up in the mountain. What if I sat on the edge of the balcony? What if a strong gust came in and I just fell?
The pen in my hand snaps and suddenly my breaths aren’t coming evenly. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.
Before I recognize what I’m doing I’m on the balcony of my bedroom, thousands of feet in the air. I grip the edge and look down. I pick my foot up-
Spinning around I bolt back into my room and slam the glass doors shut. In another movement I have a desk pushed up against the doors, barring me from going back out. Then the wardrobe pushed up against the bedroom door after I twist the lock, barring anyone else from coming in.
I throw myself down onto my bed and hide beneath the covers. I sleep and I wake. I don’t eat, I don’t bathe, I never answer the door. I’m not sure if anyone is actually knocking or if I’m making that up. I don’t listen close enough to find out if any voices are calling out.
*
It’s a few hours or days maybe when I finally leave the room. My stomach is empty and my cheeks hollow. It’s dark outside, but I don’t care. It’ll be better if I get back to my room before anyone sees me.
I look through the kitchen cabinets, but I sudden rush on nausea stops me from reaching for any of the food. Instead I wander to the dining room balcony. I haven’t been outside since-
Suddenly I rush for the doors and find myself climbing up the railing, just to see what it feels like to stand on the edge, but when I finally get my feet flat and try to stand arms rip me back.
“What the hell are you doing?” Azriel. He sounds angry. He spins me around to face him.
He takes in my appearance and certainly finds me lacking. A finger tracks one of the dried tear streaks along my cheek. “Who hurt you?”
“What?’
“You’ve never let my words get to you that badly. I know what you can handle, I didn’t break you like this. So. Who. Hurt. You.”
His expression is steely again and I hate to admit it, but he’s right. He has never said anything so hurtful to me that it dug this deep. It only hurt that I could never make him like me.
“No one. I’m fine.”
“You were about to jump-”
“I was not. I just wanted to feel the wind.”
“You can feel it from right here.” A strong gust blows right between us, causing shivers to run along my spine. There he goes, being right again, but I wasn’t going to jump. I don’t think I was.
Suddenly my head hurts too much and I don’t even feel like I can stand. I slide to the balcony floor, but I’m barely seated before Azriel has me scooped in his arms and in his bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re going to talk to me. I want to know what happened. I want to know why you’ve been locked away in your room for almost a week. I want to know why everyone is looking at me like I killed you.”
“They’re not-”
“Cassian won’t even speak to me.”
“Why?”
“Because everyone is worried about you and they all think it’s my fault.”
“They- they’re worried about me?”
“Of course.”
“You don’t think it’s your fault?”
“I know it’s not. I’m sorry I spoke to you like that, but I know I’ve said worse to you before too. Tell me what happened.”
I hesitate for a moment, but then the words come rushing out. “Do you ever just feel like you’re doing everything wrong and no one loves you. Like no one ever has and no one ever will?”
Az avoids my eyes for a long moment and nods.
“I used to feel like that a lot. Then I came here. I felt like I had a family, like I belonged somewhere.”
“You do have a family.”
“I’m not done. Some days were still bad and I’d feel like that, but most days I would feel good and happy.” Azriel nods again. “Then it’s like someone comes out of no where and suddenly they no all of your fears and all the things that can hurt you. And she uses them. When I was already feeling so low. She calls me all the names I think to myself and it feels so real. Like maybe everyone is thinking the things she said too.”
“But it’s not true.You are a part of this family. Everyone loves you, it’s like things have fallen apart just because you’ve kept yourself away. You are the kindest of us, you’re one of the smartest people I've ever worked with- I hate when you come up with a plan that’s better than mine, you’re funny even when you don’t try to be, and you are probably the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. You asked me why I hated you.” I avoid his eyes now, not wanting to know the answer anymore. “I wasn’t lying when I said I never hated you. I didn't. I don’t. I hate that you are smarter than me sometimes, that you smile like sunshine, that you fell right into place with my family, and that I can’t look at you without wanting you. I hate that everyone loves you, but I wanted to love you more. I wanted you to love me more.”
“This doesn’t make any sense, Az.”
“You’re tired. You need to sleep.” As if he was commanding me and had the power to make it happen, my eyes fall closed and sleep overtakes me as I lay on Azriel’s chest.
*
When the sun begins to rise a few hours later, I force my heavy eyes open. I’m still lying on Azriel's chest and when I turn to check on him I notice him already awake. Still awake. It’s obvious he hasn’t slept.
“Why didn’t you sleep?” He avoids my eyes.
“I just wasn’t tired.”
“Liar.”
“Are you going to tell me who it is that made you feel like you don’t matter?” He asks instead. Now it’s my turn to look away. “Then I don’t need to tell you why I didn’t sleep.”
I set my jaw. This just isn’t fair. “You promise you won’t tell anyone?” His face relaxes for a second as his eyes widen just barely in surprise.
“You think a spymaster can’t keep a secret?”
I roll my eyes but take a deep breath my decision already made. “I didn’t say anything to anyone because… it’s Feyre’s sister.”
Now his expression deepens to a look of confusion. “Nest-”
I cut him off before he can say the name I expect, but that will disappoint me anyways, because of course he wouldn’t suspect Elaine. “So why didn’t you sleep?” He says nothing. “ A deal is a deal, shadowsinger. You can keep a secret, but not your word?”
His eyes shoot to mine, a look of challenge on his face, but he looks away. “I didn’t want to hurt you again. I don’t ever want to hurt you again. That’s why you should stay away from me.”
I say nothing. No words come to me. I’m not surprised, I think I expected it, but- “I thought I should stay away from you, because you’ve ‘had enough of my company?’”
“That was a lie.” His eyes finally meet mine again and he holds my gaze as he says, “I could never get enough of your company.”
“Then why?”
“I told you. I told you exactly how I feel, how I’ve always felt.” Suddenly his words from last night all rush back into my head and this time they make sense.
“Oh.”
A sad laugh huffs out from his chest, “oh.”
“I just meant- then why can’t we try?” His gaze fixes on my lips. “Maybe I can love you more than I love anyone else.” A groan radiates from him this time.
“Don’t say that.”
“You won’t hurt me.”
“I already did.” He holds my eyes and all the hope I built up from realizing what he said last night starts to dissipate.
“I think maybe this hurts worse than anything you could do physically.”
He doesn’t say anything. Nothing at all. So, I get up and leave.
*
Putting my bedroom back in order seems to heavy of a task and I only have the energy for one thing today, so I settle for a bath. Maybe I’ll even go to breakfast and see for myself if Azriel was right, if anyone was worried.
I soak in the water and wash the stench of a sad week off of me. I have a comfy teal outfit, that I throw on, and head out to the dining room.
I suppose, I should have just believed Azriel. As soon as I walk into the room Cassian throws his arms around me.
“Too tight, Cas.” He loosens his grip only slightly and begins whispering in my ear.
“Are you alright? What’s wrong? Do you want me to hit him?”
A laugh burst of of my chest. I missed him. “Hit who?”
“Azriel?”
“No. I wasn’t upset because of him. Not really.”
Cassian takes a step back from me, confusion painting his face, and he looks me over. “Alright, lets get you some food.”
*
This time I’m the one avoiding Azriel. As I enjoy my family for a few days I steer clear of him. I can feel his eyes burning into me as I avoid even looking in his direction at dinner. We’re all seated in the dining room of the river house and as we start to clean up and move into the sitting room I step outside for fresh air.
Having been alone for days, suddenly being thrust back into our noisy group is a lot.
The door opens behind me and I almost expect Azriel to be there, but the feet on the steps are too light. I turn around just as Elain makes it to the bottom step and her palm connects with my face.
Unprepared for the assault, my head whips to the side and tears spring to my eyes. “You-” before she can get more than a word out, though, a shadow falls between us.
“What the hell are you doing?” Azriel?
“Az, I-” Elaine stumbles over her words, trying to explain herself, but I’m not paying attention to any of it, because Azriel’s hand is in mine. He’s walking me back up the stairs and he pulls me inside.
“It was Elain?” I look up to him. “Why did you let me believe it was Nesta?”
“I didn’t let you believe anything! I told you it was Feyre’s sister. You heard what you wanted.”
“You didn’t specify.”
“Would you have believed me if I said it was Elaine?"
“I do believe you.”
“If you hadn’t seen her hit me, and I told you. Would you have believed me?” His jaw is set and he takes one deep breath.
“I would believe anything you tell me.” He reaches to rub my cheek, but it still stings from the slap. I step away.
“You can’t do this to me, Az. If you won’t be with me, then please let me go.”
His eyes flood with a look of pain and I hate that I put it there.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” his words are barely a whisper.
“Then just hold me. And don’t let me go.” He swoops forward before I even get the words out and crushes me to his chest.
When we wake in the morning neither of us mention the night before, silently agreeing still not to talk about it. Our friends, though, have a different idea. Cassian has a huge grin on his face and a glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Did the two of you sleep well last night?” He asks, smirking.
Azriel decides not to say anything, glaring intensely at Cas instead. Mor just smirks around her sip of coffee and before she, Rhys, or Feyre can speak, Azriel moves away from the dining room and into the kitchen instead.
He doesn’t say anything when we get there either. He picks up an apple, immediately bites into it, then hands it to me as he grabs another and moves toward the back door.
“What’s this?”
“Breakfast,” he says simply enough, glaring down at me.
Trying to keep up as Az continues his path into the back gardens, I’m practically running, and bump into his back when he abruptly stops.
“Hi Azriel,” a soft voice I know to be Elain sounds from in front of Az.
He doesn’t say anything back, and as Elain begins to ask whether or not Azriel wants to sit with her in the garden, I peek my head out from behind him.
“Oh, Y/N,” she says, surprised, glaring slightly when Az turns his face toward me. “I heard about your…predicament,” her tone is all sympathy as she speaks to Azriel, not the both of us.
Elain’s always had something against me. For no reason she glares at me and offers rude remarks when no one else is around. I haven’t told anyone out of fear that they wouldn’t believe me, after all she seems so nice to everyone else. Instead, I just try to brush off her remarks and cry myself to sleep if I have to.
“We’re going to the House of Wind to get some work done,” Azriel says, focusing his attention on Elain.
“Alright,” she sounds so dramatic about it, as if nothing worse could happen, “let me know when you’re free, we could go out again.”
Az just nods, focusing on her for a second longer than necessary, before turning to walk out the side gate. A part of me wants to be upset that he fucked me last night when he’s clearly persuing Elain, but a bitchier part feels proud because I one-uped the other female.
“Will you finish your apple so I can fly us the rest of the way?” Az says to my right, clearly irritated.
“I thought you couldn’t fly yet?” I say, remembering Madjas’s words. He’s already half done with his apple as I take my first bite from his original one.
“It’s a short flight up; I know my limits,” he replies coldly.
Within a few minutes we finish eating and Az tosses both cores into a grassy area before grabbing me under the knees and lifting us into the air.
Azriel doesn’t slow his pace when we land on the dining room balcony, as soon as I’m on my feet he’s walking toward the hall.
“Can you slow down?” I practically shout, having enough of his long legs, and dig my heels in.
Azriel just glares at me in response, slowing only slightly and acting as if it’s the worst thing to happen. I guess everything’s back to normal, then. Last night must have just been a horny fluke. For some reason, my stomach sinks at the thought, but I can’t tell why because there is no way I like Azriel, I just can’t allow that.
Azriel moves us towards his office and pulls a chair up to the left side of his desk for me. I take a seat and try to get my own work done but its of no use with my left hand. And with one of his attached to my right I can hardly function. When I try to right with it, his useless hand bumps and drags like a dead weight and turns every letter into a mess. I’m almost convinced that he is jerking it on purpose, but I have no proof, just a smirk from him at my frustrated growls.
We sit at his desk, trying to work for a few more hours, him writing with his right hand. My right hand still uselessly bound to him, so I sit by his side reading, but eventually get bored and end of staring at the book, not processing any of it. “Touch yourself,” he says.
“Wh-What?” I stutter.
“Touch. Your. Self.” He’s still not looking at me. “Now,” he adds and the command in his voice has me moving my right hand towards my pants.
I unbuckle the simple contraption and gently move my fingers inside of my panties. Slowly, working up to it, I start touching myself. Rubbing my clit, moving up and down my already wet slit, pushing a finger inside of myself. I moan at the first insertion, finally earning some of Azriel’s attention. He doesn’t turn away from his work, but he does switch his hand with mine. His left fingers quickly take over for my right and he starts plunging them into me. The palm of his hand roughly massages my clit while his fingers shove, deeper and deeper, massaging my spot.
…
Finally, setting aside his work, he stands up, pulling me with him before moving me to stand in front of him. He bends me over, so my stomach rests against the desk, and tugs my pants down further. Within a few seconds his pants are down too, and he’s pushing his large cock inside of me.
Confusion settles into me as I think about his interaction with Elain this morning and his attitude since then. How can he go from taking her out to fucking me, then flirting with her and ordering me to touch myself.
His cock clears those thoughts from my head though as he thrusts in deep and makes me cum quickly.
“Wow, you really are quick.” I can sense the smirk from him even though I can’t see.
“You had your fingers inside me for half an hour, Prick.”
He chuckles and shoves himself back in with a deep moan. The sound makes me dumb. A man has never sounded as good to me as the way he moans while fucking me.
“Do you want me cock, y/n?”
I moan again, but say nothing, just pushing back towards him.
“Say it.”
“Yes, yes, I want your cock.”
“You’re so smart, y/n, but a little orgasm makes you stupid for me doesn’t it?” I can’t say anything as he pushes in slowly and all I can do is feel the stretch of him. “Just so stupid for my cock. Thats how much you like it. Gods if I knew this is all it took to shut you up, I would have fucked you ages ago.”
I just keep moaning, wanting to snap back, but unable to get the words out as he thrusts in and out.
“Is this what I need to do every time you give me that attitude? Should I take you at the table whenever you argue with me over mission details? At every party and dinner? Should I do it so all of our friends can see?”
Gods, he is so filthy. The thought of anyone watching sets my skin on fire. He starts thrusting faster and harder and I know it’ll be quicker than the night before. Azriel’s sweaty forehead presses against my back. He moans as I clench and cum around him and quickly follows suit.
“Fuck, you feel so good.”
He stays buried in me for several minutes and my skin cools against the desk. All the thoughts from before come rushing back in too. I really did get stupid with his cock inside me, but not anymore. I push up and push him into his chair and off of me.
I pull the shorts up quickly and move the strapless top into place on my chest. Azriel just watches me and tucks himself back into his pants.
“I need to use the restroom,” I say, keeping my tone as even as possible as I pull us toward the door.
Az doesn’t say anything as I clean up and rebutton my pants, but when we get back to the office and I turn as far from him as possible to try and hold my tears at bay he speaks. “Is something wrong?”
Is something wrong?!
I want to scream at him. How can he treat me like this? Am I just a convenient lay because we’re attached and he can’t pursue Elaine?
I say nothing, but he keeps pestering. “What did I do? I thought you were enjoying it.”
“I did.” I still don’t face him.
“I don’t understand.”
“Am I just easy for you?” I whip my head around and glare at him through the thin sheen of tears in my eyes.
“Wh-what?”
“If we weren’t attached at the wrist, would you be fucking Elaine instead?”
His mouth slams shut and he looks away. “No. Elaine and I have not…”
“So im just convenient to use until you can go out with her again and starts fucking her then?”
“Don’t talk like that. I’m not- that’s not what I meant for this to be.”
Before I can respond with anything Rhys barges into the office to force us to the dining room for dinner. Neither of us speaks the whole meal. Our family shares worried glances with one another, but I ignore it all and especially the glances Azriel keeps sending me.
After dinner we change into pajamas from our rooms in the House of Wind and I opt for pants and a long shirt deciding to just cut a sleeve.
“Wait, is that my shirt?” Azriel is glaring at me as I hack away at the material with scissors, but its too late and I pull his shirt over my head.
I move to his bed quickly and turn away from him, refusing to acknowledge any of his attempts at conversation.
*
I startle awake and its still dark out. Azriel is thrashing in the bed besides me and when I turn towards him he whimpers.
“Az?” I reach my hand out to touch him, but hesitate. I’m still angry and he probably doesn’t want me to acknowledge this anyways. The dream will fade and he’ll be fine.
I try to convince myself of that as I lay back down, but when his thrashing gets worse and his eyes scrunch up I get worried. Then when he whimpers again, completely lost to the pain if his dream I panic.
“Az!” With my right hand still bound to his I try to jostle him awake, but he just clenches his fist and cries out again.
“Az, wake up please.” I continue pushing at his shoulder and use my free hand to brush the sweaty hair from his face until he thrashes away and his eyes bolt open.
Before I can process his wakefulness I am flipped on my back and theres a hand at my throat. Azriel’s hand. I grab his hand with my own as he cuts me off from air, but then I feel the dagger at my side. He must have grabbed it with his free hand from where he keeps it beneath his pillow.
My throat is raw and tears are streaming down my face, but for some reason none of my training kicks in, I could never beat Az in a fight. Before I can think of what to do Azriel rips himself away from me.
He’s mumbling something that sounds like and apology as I catch my breath. He has pulled himself as far away from me as he can get and when our eyes meet I can see tears in his too.
“ ‘m so sorry, so sorry, sorry,” he just keeps mumbling it over and over and refuses to look me in the eyes.
I pull myself up to my knees, trying to even my breaths back out, my throat raw. “It’s okay.” My voice is so hoarse, the sound of seems to make Azriel worse. His expression turns even more pained and when I reach out for him, he pulls further away.
“You shouldn’t come near me.”
“You’re awake now, Azriel.”
“I hurt you.”
“It’s oka-”
“It’s not! Don’t say its okay. I hurt you.”
“It’s really not that bad.” I reach for his him again and succeed in grabbing his hand.
“You can barely talk.”
“It’s-” I cut myself off before I can say ‘okay’ as he glares at me. “Just talk to me. You were having a bad dream?”
Azriel stares at his shaking hands and the only response he offers is a slight nod.
I don’t expect him to say anything and I’m unsure of what to ask next, but he surprises me by speaking.“I- I was a kid again. Before I met Cas and Rhys.”
“Things were… bad?”
Another nod. “My half brothers were cruel. I wasn’t allowed to fly or train. My room was really just a cage.”
My heart sinks, I knew he and Cassian hadn’t had easy lives as bastard-born Illyrians, but I never knew the details either. “I’m so sorry, Azriel. That’s terrible.”
His face hardens and his tears are dry. “It’s no excuse. I still hurt you.”
“Azriel-”
“We need to get this spell broken soon and afterwards you should stay as far away from me as possible.”
“Az-” He refuses to hear me though. Laying back down he turns away from me and doesn’t speak. A piece of my heart breaks inside. I’m not sure if it’s for him or me and the progress we finally made.
Neither of us sleeps the rest of the night and the next morning Azriel's wish is granted.
“We know how to break the spell,” Feyre announces over breakfast.
Why must I have 7 billion ideas for different fics but not be able to write a full one? I get half way through and think of a different idea and immediately have to start writing it
The morning passes slowly. After sleeping in we eat breakfast then lay on the floor, in what’s supposed to be a foyer, and make a list of everything we need to buy for the house. I can hardly stand not touching her at every possible opportunity so when another note from my parents arrives asking us to come over for dinner, I have every intention to tell them no and keep her all to myself.
Juniper has a different idea, though. Snatching the note from my hand, she jotted down a quick response, allowing it to disappear on its own.
“Juniper,” I groan.
“What? We’ve been in here for nearly three days; we should go have dinner with your family. Besides, it would be rude for us to go out shopping today and not at least stop by.”
I relent when she gives me that sultry smile of hers and leans in to kiss me again. I want to get distracted kissing her and bending her over the countertop but she pulls away after a few moments.
“Let's get dressed and go shopping.”
Out of the house within the hour, we head deep into the city to look at furniture. This is definitely Juniper's scene. Design is one of her favorite past times, her face just lights up when she finds furniture that will “bring the whole room together perfectly.”
I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about but the happy expression on her face brings a smile to mine. We place several orders to have furniture delivered to the house and grab paint samples for a few of the rooms.
Then, before Juniper can drag me into another store, I pull her to a small restaurant with outdoor seating and force her into a chair. Within the minute someone is taking our order and rushing away to make it.
“This is really pretty.”
“Mmm,” I hum, “it’s not one of the ones on the Sidra, though. Those are the best restaurants in the city.”
“Really? They’re probably extra beautiful at night then.”
“Yeah. I can take you to one for dinner tonight,” I offer.
“And skip dinner with your parents?”
“I was hoping you’d forgotten.”
She just shakes her head in response, smiling as the waiter sets her plate of food down infront of her.
Hours later we fall into bed, virtually the only furniture in the house, and try to take a short nap but get distracted and end up more exhausted than before. It’s a rush to get ready for dinner with my parents and we still end up a little late. Juniper’s way more concerned about it than me.
“They’re gonna think I’m not punctual, or a flake.”
“No they won’t,” I sya, trying not to laugh at her unnecessary concern. “We never start dinner on time anyway. And they’ll be more than understanding since we’re newly mated.”
Her cheeks turn the most beautiful shade of pink, the same color as her rosy dress. “You look amazing, by the way,” I say, pulling her closer. “I don’t think I told you that yet.”
“You did. Several times actually.”
“Did i?”
She just rolls her eyes which then go wide as I pull us to a stop in front of the River House.
“Woah.”
“Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” she says, openly gawking.
“Be sure to tell my mom. She designed it.”
“Really?”
“Mhmm, she’s an artist. She designed and decorated just about everything. The garden’s my aunt's doing, though.”
We walk up to the house and the door swings open before we’re even five feet away. Juniper’s obviously still anxious besides me so I grip her hand in mine and resist the urge to punch my smirking uncle in the face where he stands in the doorway.
“I thought it would just be dinner with your parents,” Juniper whispers in my ear.
“No, it’s Sunday: family dinner night.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry, it’s probably easier this way,” I say, kissing her forehead before returning my attention to the door. “Uncle Cassian. Any particular reason for blocking the doorway tonight?”
“I was thinking about letting the creatures outside,” he jokes.
“What did I tell you about referring to the children as animals?” Aunt Nesta says, smacking him upside the head as she walks by.
He just rubs the back of it, smiling widely, and moves to the side for us to walk in. My three youngest cousins run by screaming as soon as we step in. One’s Cas and Nesta’s second and the other two are Uncle Azriel’s and his wife’s, all ranging four to eight years old.
I pull Juniper toward the sitting room, ignoring the creatures, and search out the only other person close to our age- Nesta and Cassian’s other daughter, Lenny.
We saw her briefly during the wedding, but I’m eager for her and Juniper to get to know each other more. “Lenny. You remember Juniper, yeah?”
“Was I supposed to forget your sudden arranged marriage?” She raises her brows at me and stands from her seat, gently setting her book to the side.
“He again,” Juniper says from my side. “If I recall correctly you’re Nyx’s closest friend and cousin.”
“Yep, and I used to be his closest confidant too, but it seems he moved on once I moved out to the steeps.”
“The steeps?”
“Illyrian Steeps,” I say. “My Dad offered her a chance to run one of the camps when she turned eighteen last year. She’s there more often than here now.”
“Yeah, I’m only here for a whole week so that those idiots can realize they’re barely surviving without me.”
Juniper
I smile, immediately deciding I like Lenny. I barely saw her during the wedding, but being able to talk to her I realize we have a lot in common.
I especially enjoy when she tells funny stories about Nyx and he turns beet red from embarrassment. I’m certain he’s grateful when his mother calls us all into the other room for dinner.
We file into the dining room with a large oak table running through it, to find everyone already seated, pulling out chairs, or struggling to get children to hold still. The only seats with placements in front of them remaining are two at the closer end and, to my surprise, the seat at the head of the table.
“I suppose I’ll leave the two of you then,” Lenny says and walks to the end.
“If we have an even amount of people then no one really sits there, but there's thirteen of us tonight,” Nyx says, answering one of my many silent questions.
“Speaking of,” Cassian starts, “should we be worried? Isn’t thirteen a bad omen?”
“Oh, shut up, Cassian,” the woman I recognize as his wife says.
Nyx pulls out the end seat for me and takes the one between it and one of his younger cousins. “Hi!” The child nearly shouts, leaning forward to look around Nyx. “I’m Baz. I wasn’t allowed to go to the wedding.”
“Oh,” I say, “nice to meet you, I’m Juniper.”
“Yeah, I know. Everyone’s been talking about you,” the Eight year old says.
My cheeks burn in the awkward silence that follows and I have no idea what to say. A few long seconds pass.
“What have they been saying?”
“Oh, all sorts of things,” he says, beaming. “Aunt Feyre said you were very pretty and kind, and mommy said you and Nyx would be a good pair, but Aunt Mor said you can’t be trusted and this is the worst thing to happen. She’s not here because she's mad at everyone.”
There are another few seconds of silence, a few of the adults noticeably cringe and I can feel Nyx’s rage boiling beside me.
Baz continues, probably trying to change the mood, “Uncle Cas said we probably wouldn’t see you for a month because Nyx would be busy fucking you,” he shrugs after laying that detail out there, “whatever that means.”
“You said that in front of my child?” Azriel yells across the table at the other male.
Nyx grips his fork tightly, staring daggers at his uncle, while tiny blue flames lick to life in his hair.
“Nyx,” I murmur his name and rest a hand on his arm. He calms down after a few seconds, but the shouting between the adults continues.
“This is relatively normal for family dinners,” Nyx says, deciding to ignore everyone and scoop food onto my plate.
“Are you upset now, Juniper? Mama said I might have upset you.”
I turn to the faeling, who I’m already starting to like, with a smile. “No, I’m not upset.”
“Good, then we should be friends.”
The yelling settles down after a few minutes and conversations continue between smaller groups of everyone. At first anyway. After a little while, everyone gives up on trying to mind their own business and I’m dragged into almost every conversation.
Feyre asks about my childhood and siblings. Cassian wants to know if I’ve trained at all but when I say I haven’t and don’t really have an interest in being a warrior he becomes almost completely bored of me. Nyx said not to think anything of it.
The shadowsinger is silent through most of the meal but all of Nyx’s aunts have questions about one thing or another. You like to read? What books? Adventure. Do you ever write?I love to. What flowers did you see the most in the spring court? Just about every kind depending on where you are. Do you like to cook or bake? Not really. What music do you like?
Minutes passed like this before Nyx took some of my food and forced me to eat, then not so subtly, told everyone to stop talking to me while I ate.
My favorite part of the evening was talking to Nyx’s cousins, it was then too that I realized how much I love kids. I had to make a mental note to ask Nyx if he wanted any, later, while mildly panicking about the prospect of him not wanting them.
On the way home I’m practically buzzing with anxiety, no longer able to keep the question of whether or not Nyx wants kids in the back of my mind. The possibilities race through me until Nyx stops in front of the house and turns to me with a look of concern in his eyes that practically forces me to confess my thoughts.
“Tell me what’s bothering you. I know my family can be a lot, but I figured after you jumped past the quote bombs Baz passes you could handle anything,” Nyx says, rubbing up and down my arms.
“It’s not that,” I say, remembering what their Aunt Mor had apparently said, “but I do want to talk to you about some of that later.” Nyx just nods in response, already knowing which part I’m referring to. “I was just wondering- We hadn’t talked about whether-” I struggle for a long few moments, not knowing how to phrase this. I’m usually so good with words.
“Go on, love. You can ask anything.”
“Do you want kids?” I blurt the question out, glad it’s finally done but kind of wanting to take it back.
A smile spreads slowly across Nyx’s face. “Yeah, Juniper, I want kids. Do you?”
I nod, biting my lip, relieved to have his answer.
“Right now?”
Shocked at the thought, my eyes widen and I take an actual step away from Nyx. “Mother above, no.”
Nyx laughs suddenly at my response and I can feel his humor down the bond, it warms me from the inside out as he grabs my hand and gently pulls me toward the door of our home.
Five months later
Nyx
Waking, I roll over and reach out a hand for my wife, but find an empty bed instead. I blink my eyes open, noting that the sheets aren’t cold yet, but not warm enough for her to just be in the bathroom.
I groan as I sit up, wishing she were by my side. I climb out of bed, not bothering to pull pants on, and amble down the hall to the stairs. Before I arrive her frustrated sounds fill the silence. She must be trying to put some more of the furniture together.
Most of it’s been sitting in boxes for the past couple of months, neither of us wanting to do anything but lay in bed.
“I was planning on hiring someone to finally put those together,” I say, when I finally get to the top of the stairs, and lean against the banister in all my naked glory.
She doesn’t look up. “Yeah, but I was bored and you were sleeping so I figured I’d try.”
“I’m not sleeping now,” I say, smirking. “And there are a few activities I’ll never complain about being woken for.”
Junipers cheeks pinkin and she starts to chastise me as she looks up but the words never make it out. Her gaze immediately catches on my half hard cock and she turns an even darker shade.
“Come back to bed,” I say, my cock hardening faster the more she looks at it.
“Why don’t you make me?” Her tone is laced with humor and her eyes sparkle, but before I can retort or grab her the front door of our town house swings open.
In half a second I’m standing protectively in front of her, weapons in my hands as my uncles fill my foyer.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap.
“Why are you naked?” Cas asks.
“This is my house!” I yell, moving one of my long daggers to cover my cock.
“He has a point.” Az.
“We came to get you for training,” Uncle Cas says, smiling broadly, “but I guess you had a different form of cardio in mind.”
I clench my jaw, wishing they would leave. “How’d you get in? The door was locked.”
“Your parents have a spare key for emergencies,” Az says as if that explains everything.
“Yeah, I know.”
“We stole it!” Cas practically cheers, eyes lighting up.
Even Uncle Az smiles a little. “Stealing from your dad isn’t easy. It took us a while.”
“You must be exhausted from all the hard work, then,” Juniper says sarcastically over my shoulder, smiling as widely as my uncles. “We can have coffee in the kitchen while Nyx gets dressed.”
I winnow upstairs, quickly putting on clothes. Juniper laughs downstairs at something one of my uncles said, and the smell of coffee is already floating through the house.
In a matter of seconds I’m downstairs again, standing in the kitchen as Uncle Cas pours milk into his coffee and Uncle Az looks on, cringing at the sight and sipping his black.
“Why the hell are you guys still here?” I grumble.
“We’re hanging out with your wife, obviously,” Cas says, smiling. Winning my family over has practically become a hobby for Juniper and she’s extremely good at it; they all love her. Even Mor is coming around.
I roll my eyes at my uncles and reach for the pot of coffee as they continue their conversation.
“What are you two up to today?” Azriel asks.
“I’m meeting with someone from the theater to potentially work as one of their writers!” Juniper announces excitedly, just the sound of her bubbling excitement makes me grin, happy she’s happy.
“We’ll all come to the opening night of your first production,” Az promises as Cas nods enthusiastically.
“That’s if I get hired.”
“You’re a good writer, Juniper, they’ll hire you.”
“You’ve read some of her writing, Az?” I ask.
“Mhmm,”he says around a mouth full of food.
“He likes to read, you know? I figured he’d be a less biased reader than you.”
I roll my eyes, knowing full well I’m terrible at giving my mate proper criticism. My uncles leave soon after that when Dad shows up, hitting them over the head for taking his key. He makes a promise to come to dinner tonight, having something important to tell the family, and leaves soon after too.
The rest of the day is uneventful, but something in my stomach stirs, wondering what news my parents have. A part of me already knows and that feeling in my gut is unease or maybe guilt.
Juniper
I hold Nyx’s hand loosely in mine as he swings the door to the River House open, the sounds of his rambunctious cousins greeting us. My smile instantly grows as Baz runs up to hug me and, not to covertly, checks my wrist to ensure I’m still wearing my friendship bracelet. He has several different bracelets crawling up his arms, all for different friends, and everyone in the room has one too.
He pulls me away from Nyx to talk and play with the other kids and I find myself wondering how long I do want to wait for kids. The thought of having them right away all those months ago felt outrageous, but being near these kids makes my hormones crazy.
Nyx seems to pick up on this and smirks wickedly from across the room. Thankfully Feyre interrupts moments later, calling us all in for dinner, so my mate can’t send any of her dirty thoughts down the bond.
The entire meal goes smoothly but I can feel Nyx’s anxiety as he sits by my side. It’s radiating off of him and his parents are far from oblivious to it too. They don’t make an announcement during the meal, though, but Nyx and I both pick up on the fact that the Highlady isn’t drinking wine.
I grip his hand as we move to the sitting room and Feyre smiles broadly, grabbing everyone’s attention as her and Rhys remain standing. Rhys clears his throat, everyone goes quiet. “I’m pregnant,” Feyre says simply.
No one in the room is surprised and though we’re all happy we all know what this really means.
“It’s still early, but Madja thinks the baby’s a girl.”
The kids seem thrilled, the only people in the room saying anything for a long moment, before a few of their friends get up to congratulate them. Nyx remains, frozen beside me, though, even as we stand, and I wonder if he’s wishing he could take back what we did now that it’s real.
“This is good news,” Rhys says, smiling and gripping Nyx’s shoulder. “Your mother and I made this choice, Nyx, not you,” he reassures and low enough for only the two of us to hear.
Nyx relaxes slightly after that, hugging his mom for a long moment before returning to my side.
“This is good news,” I whisper into his ear, trying to convince him or myself, I don’t know.
We go home hours later, the peaceful bubble we’ve been living in for the last several months popped by the consequences of our actions.
There are defiantly going to be edits made to this story, but for now I just wanted to post it. Also, eventually, I’ll post a story about the other half of the deal between their courts, as well as a story around Junipers other sibling!
Not edited, also I think this one has SMUT at the end. I should probably check before I post, I have no idea what’s in it... oops
Juniper
My father tries pulling me back as soon as he notices but Nyx pulls me toward him instead.
“What are you playing at,” Father hisses at Nyx’s parents.
“Nothing,” Feyre says. “The deal was our daughter will marry one of your sons, not specifically the oldest.”
“You should be happy about this,” Rhys says. “This way if one of them can’t fulfill the deal, there’s always a backup. And no one could have guessed about the bond.”
Father glares for another long moment before stepping back toward his seat.
“If everyone could stand up and move toward the edge of the room, that would be most appreciated,” Feyre says, using magic to make her voice sound throughout the room.
Everyone moves to the side and in a matter of a minute chairs are moving through the air and tables are appearing out of thin air. Everything quickly organizes itself around the room while space is made in the center for a dance floor.
“We’re married,” Nyx whispers beside me, his hand reaching to grip mine.
I turn, smiling up at him, and grip his hand tighter before moving toward my brothers.
“This is totally awesome,” Oak's excited voice. “I’ve always wanted a tattoo.”
“It's not just an ordinary tattoo,” Kai says.
“I know, I’m not stupid. It’s still cool.”
Kai just rolls his eyes and turns, noticing our arrival.
“You don’t hate the tattoo too much, do you?”
He shrugs in response, looking me up and down as if searching for some injury.
“I’m fine, Kai. This will turn out for the best, I’m sure.”
He nods, still not saying anything before a voice interrupts the silence.
“Congratulations,” a tall, dark skinned male says, approaching us. “I’m Helion.” He holds his hand out to me.
“Highlord of the Day Court,” I say, recognizing him.
“Mother above,” Oak’s tone is all awe, his eyes practically popping out of his skull.
“Helion, this is my brother Oak: lover of history and books.”
“Ahh.”
“It’s my dream to come visit your court. I want to see all the libraries.
“That can be arranged,” Helion says, a fond smile brightening his expression. “I’m not too strict about who enters my court.”
The comment is simple enough but I don’t think any of us miss the dig about Father’s strict border laws.
“I’ll ask my father,” Oak says, ignoring it as he rambles out some questions about the history of Helion's court.
Nyx and I, though, silently step away so we can greet his family before welcoming all the other guests.
“I think this is going better than expected,” the male I already know as Cassian says to the Highlord as we approach.
“Mates,” the Highlady says, “I can hardly believe it.”
“It’s quite a shock,” The Highlord agrees.
“Hey,” Nyx says, interrupting as he pulls me closer.
“How are you both feeling?” Feyre asks.
“Wonderful,” I answer honestly, finally letting the excitement of finding my mate show.
Uncle Azriel’s expression makes it clear he doesn’t believe our false surprise at being mates, and I wonder if he’s known as long as I have that she’s my mate. Or longer? Mom and Dad are clearly surprised, though, and maybe a little apprehensive at the prospect.
The genuine support coming from Uncle Cas, though, is enough to keep my spirits high.
“This is probably the best turn of events we could have hoped for. Surely the two of you will find happiness being mated.”
“Not all mates are meant to be,” Dad says. I know he doesn’t mean it as the dig it is, only thinking about his own parents’ marriage, but it still hurts a little.
“We’re going to greet some guests,” I say, turning away quickly.
“Ow,” I hear Dad complain as we leave. Mom probably hit him over the head, the thought brings a smile to my face.
-
The rest of the long night passes in a blur of dancing and drinking and talking. We barely have any time to actually eat because even while everyone else is enjoying the meal people are getting up to greet us or give speeches.
The one my parents give actually brings tears to my eyes and I know the same is true for Juniper and the speech her brothers give.
Guests don’t start leaving until well after midnight and even then we still stay until the sun is nearly rising. Several guests still remain, but figuring it's not my problem as the newly wed, I grab Juniper's hand and winnow us to her brothers for a quick goodbye.
She has to wake Oak, who’s sleeping on Kai’s shoulder, but within ten minutes her hand is in mine again while I winnow us through space.
Her breath visibly escapes her as we land on the front steps of the townhouse. I have to hold her up by the waist at first.
“Sorry, I’m not used to winnowing that far.”
I hum, nuzzling the side of her face before pressing a kiss to her cheek, ensuring she knows I understand and am far from upset.
“Nyx, where are we?” she asks, obviously noticing the house we’re standing in front of.
“This is Velaris: the City of Starlight. The house is a gift from my parents.”
“A gift?”
“Mhmm. My Dad bought it centuries ago, they lived here before building the River Manor.”
“River Manor?”
“I can take you there another time, can we start our honeymoon first?”
“Honeymoon?”
“Are you just going to ask one word questions all day?”
“No.”
“Not a question but still one word.” I laugh and jump out of the way as Juniper swats at me.
“I’m just tired.”
I nod to show my understanding and swiftly scoop her up, ignoring her squealing protest. “Shh, just let me carry you to bed. We both are probably sleep deprived.”
She gives up her escape attempt as we reach the door, her wiggling immediately ceasing as she wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder.
“You gave up easily.”
“The relief to my feet is a really good motivator.”
A smile brightens what I’m sure is an exhausted expression on my face as I swing the door open and walk us into the foyer.
“I had the whole house cleaned and whatever furniture remained uncovered, a lot of it was moved to the new house though.”
“It’s beautiful,” Juniper whispers, looking around as much as she can from her place in my arms. “We’ll have to go shopping, though.”
Another smile graces my face, hurting my cheeks, and I can’t help but wonder if it's because I’ve never smiled this much in my life. “I’d like to pick out furniture with you,” I whisper against her neck before placing a small kiss there and carrying her up to our bedroom.
Juniper
We collapse onto the bed, neither of us having the energy to even undress. Until the rising sun peeks through the curtain wide window, that is.
“Ugh,” Nyx groans, sitting up. “Your bags are in the closet,” he says, turning toward me as I doze off. “Juniper,” he whispers.
I sit up immediately, forcing my tired eyes open.
“You’re so beautiful with that exhausted look on your face,” Nyx says.
I glare in response, making him burst out in laughter.
“I love you,” he whispers against my cheek, leaning in closer than we’ve been in days. I can’t help but drop my head back, allowing him the space to continue his path down my neck.
A small moan escapes me, eliciting a groan from him: something I want to hear everyday for the rest of my life, but he pushes away instead, and stands before going to the closet, motioning its light on.
“Come on, love,” he says, pulling his own sleepwear from the dresser. “Don’t you want to put on some pajamas?”
“I have some on under the dress,” I say, voice groggy, as I roll onto my stomach and pull my hair over my shoulder.
He moves silently before carefully unbuttoning the gown. My sigh is loud as the dress visibly loosens, no longer squeezing me so tightly. I can feel him watching as I pull the straps of the dress down my shoulders and kick it to the floor before rolling back over.
His voice is hoarse as he speaks, “That’s hardly a nightgown.”
The slip in question is silk, stopping at the top of my thighs, with a lace neckline that cuts lower than any dress I’ve ever worn. On top of that its form fitting, hugging the curve of my breasts and bottom.
“It's a bridal nightgown, Nyx, basically just lingerie,” I say, too tired to feel self conscious.
“Lingerie,” he repeats before audibly swallowing.
“I can change if you want,” I offer.
“No. No, don’t change,” he says. “But if you’re wearing that, don’t expect me to sleep in a shirt.”
“Whatever makes you comfortable,” I mumble, rolling over again to hug the pillow beneath my head.
Nyx groans loudly behind me, bringing a smile to my lips and a new kind of excitement to the sensitive place between my thighs. A rustling sound alerts me to Nyx changing and I open my eyes as he moves to the window and closes the blinds before laying on the bed next to me.
We lay silently for several minutes before his fingers graze mine and a shocked gasp escapes me.
“Sorry,” he whispers, pulling his hand away.
“No,” I say, moving closer to him,” hold me.”
“I don’t think I can hold you without doing something neither of us is awake enough for,” he says, but still wraps his arms around me and pulls my back flush against his front.
I think for a moment that we really won't fall asleep, Nyx clearly awake below the belt, but he kisses me on the shoulder and whispers, “sleep,” so softly that I have no choice but to obey.
-
Nyx
I wake with an ache in my groin and a warm weight on top of my chest. Blinking my eyes open, the first thing I notice is the golden blond curls. Then I realize that the hair in front of me is Junipers and she’s sprawled across my chest.
My chest lifts as I take a deep breath in, moving Juniper's body with mine. She doesn’t even stir, her eyelids continue to flutter as she dreams and mumbles under her breath about something or another.
Blinking in the dark room I notice the sun is still shining behind the curtains so it’s still day at least. Eventually gaining some sight I find the clock and make out the time. Early in the afternoon.
I let loose another breath and wrap my arms around Juniper's frame, needing to hold her closer. Her voice increases in volume, but her words are still incoherent, the only sign she hasn’t woken as she stirs in my arms and nuzzles closer.
Her hips wiggle against me in the process, bringing attention to my lower half and making me harder. I groan as softly as I can manage but not soft enough. Juniper stirs again, her eyes fluttering open this time.
“Nyx?” Her voice is groggy, deep with sleep, and that seems to make my erection worse. I’m throbbing in my pants at this point, Juniper must feel it but has no qualm at all, wiggling more.
“June, stop,” I groan, not even able to get her full name out.
“What’s wrong? We haven’t done it yet, don’t you want to?”
“Of course I do, but I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I don’t. I’ve been thinking about this since the bond clicked…and maybe for a little while before.”
We stare at one another for a long moment, but when she bites her lower lip I can’t hold back any more. Rolling over I press Juniper to the bed and hover above her.
“You’ve thought of me like this?” She nods. “You’ve thought of me making love to you?” Another nod. “Did you touch yourself?” She hesitates but nods again.
I groan and lean in to capture her lips between mine, needing to taste her. “Juniper-” I start but kiss her again, not ready to confess.
“Nyx,” she moans against my mouth, making it more difficult to hold my orgasm off.
“I’ve never actually-” I cut myself off and swallow the lump in my throat as she moves her gaze back to my face. “I’ve never actually done this before,” I admit.
‘You haven’t?” She seems a little surprised.
“I hadn’t when we met, and I had no desire to be with anyone but you after.”
She whimpers beneath me, pulling me closer to kiss me more deeply. “Neither have I.”
I smile against her mouth, slipping my tongue in to stroke along hers. Then, moving down, I press a few gentle kisses to her jaw before moving to kiss her lips and press my hips to hers. She lets out a soft moan against my mouth as I grind down harder against her.
I pull back after a long few minutes, breathing heavily, and gaze down at the space between us, her breasts pushing up against my chest. “Can I pull this down?” I ask, needing to see her naked breasts.
She swallows and nods, holding still as I take the tiny silk straps and move them off her shoulders and further down her arms until the neckline is against her sternum and her breasts are in the open air.
Unable to help myself, I lean forward and dart out my tongue to flick one of her nipples. Then, cupping one in each hand, I move closer to take more of her into my mouth. I nip and suck and lick until she’s writhing beneath me, completely lost for breath.
With my hands on her thighs, I shove the little bit of nightgown covering her thighs up, and press my still covered cock against her clothed cunt. I kiss her neck, sucking the sensitive bits of skin for long moments while grinding harder and faster, barely able to control myself while she whimpers and whines and grips my shoulders.
My hands travel down to her breasts again as I pull my hips away, afraid I blow too soon if I keep going. Kneading one with my right hand, I suckle the other, biting gently at her sensitive nipple.
“Nyx- touch me,” she begs.
“I am touching you,” I say back, smirking against the valley between her breasts.
“Not there.”
“Where?”
“Nyx,” she groans in frustration. “Don’t make me say it.”
I don’t bother replying, moving back up to kiss her jaw, still keeping my hips away from hers.
“Please, Nyx. Touch my pussy.”
“Mmm, good girl,” I whisper, not entirely sure where the words come from, but glad I said them as her breath hitches.
I snake one hand down her body, pleased with the shivers the run through it in my wake as I stroke over her clothed pussy. I groan at the feeling of her soaking through her underpants and tear them away, needing to get closer.
Juniper
I arch up into Nyx’s grasp, needing to feel him closer. He rubs his thumb against my clit in fast delicate motions that make me moan uncontrollably. In only a few motions the rest of my night gown is off and on the floor, and Nyx is kissing down my chest.
He moves lower and lower, still stroking at the apex of my thighs, until his face is level with my pussy. His tongue laps out, eager to taste, and almost as soon as he starts I begin shaking, cumming beneath him.
Nyx shoves his tongue deeper, tasting me in no way I ever imagined a male would.
“Please,” I moan, helplessly, needing him to come closer to me, be nearer.
In a flash Nyx is above me, his skin glowing faintly, as he presses my legs farther apart and moves his chest closer to mine.
“Nyx,” I whisper, gripping his shoulders as he shoves down his pants, releasing his hard, thick length.
“Shh,” he soothes. “I’ll try to be gentle. I promise.”
With that, he nudges his cock at my entrance, stretching me slightly around the tip of him. I gasp, suddenly in need of air, and hold onto him tighter. Nyx draws soothing circles on my back where he’s holding me closer to him and slowly pushes in further.
In a few short, slow thrusts his pelvis is even with mine, his cock filling me. We lay like that for a few minutes, both of us breathing heavily as we try to adjust to the new feeling.
“Does it still hurt?” Nyx hedges, nuzzling my neck.
“Only a little.”
He nods in response and pulls out slightly before moving back in. He keeps moving, slowly at first but then with harder thrusts as I relax around him. I moan as he hits the small spot deep inside of me that makes me quiver involuntarily.
“Nyx!” I practically scream it as he hits it again immediately after. Then again and again.
“Right there?” He asks, gripping me tighter as he pumps faster. “I’m so close, Juniper.”
I nod and hold him tighter as a moan tears from my throat, making it impossible for me to say anything at all. Nyx moans above me too, setting his head in the crook of my neck while he moves his hips into mine. I grip his back, digging my nails in, and actually scream as my orgasm rushes through me and Nyx’s fills me.
He pulls out after a moment and collapses onto the bed beside me. We lay like that for several minutes before Nyx crawls out of bed and over to a bathroom. He comes back with a warm, wet towel and gently cleans the mess between my legs.
We sleep for a few hours more after that before continuing this little routine of ours a few more times. Two days after the wedding when I wake in the morning I finally roll out of bed. Nyx is gone but the sounds from downstairs let me know he’s cooking breakfast.
A few times in the past couple of days I’ve woken to the fresh smell of food, Nyx having brought me breakfast in bed. This time, having woken up already, I wrap a silk dressing gown around my exhausted frame and leave to search for my husband.
It’s about time I got a look at the rest of the house anyway. Before going toward the large staircase I walk along the hall and open the various doors. Most of them lead to bedrooms with covered furniture, but a few are completely empty.
When I finally go downstairs, a peek into the sitting room, only one set of armchairs sits beside the large fireplace and a few bare shelves are littered around the room.
The dining room is worse off, though. There’s no table or chairs, only a rolled up rug pushed to the side.
“This might be the emptiest room in the house,” Nyx says, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “A blank canvas for you to paint.”
“For us to paint.”
“What about the kitchen? What’s in there?”
He grabs my hand, pulling me down the small hall while he talks. “A few pots and pans, some bowls and plates and utensils. No stools, though. That’s why we’ve been eating in bed.”
I smile, spinning in his grasp to kiss him gently on the lips. “Let's make a list then.”
Again, this chapter is barely edited; I just wanted to get them posted. Feel free to comment all my mistakes...nicely
Nyx x Juniper (Tamlins daughter)
WC: 3183
Juniper
The next few months pass in a whirlwind of flowers and fabrics and endless days of numbers and choices. The invitations were released within the week-both of our courts quickly approving them.
In the end I designed them myself because the templates were plain and basic. There was no time to do anything else myself, though. After that the weeks started rushing by and I can hardly remember any of it, only having a headache to show for it- and in a few days a wedding.
My anxiety grows with every passing day and Nyx and I have been communicating less and less, neither of us having the time to write and space to be alone together.
Now, looking at myself in my wedding dress for the final fitting I feel even more distressed. I have to swallow a large lump in my throat and hold back tears because this is really happening and now I can’t tell if I’m happy or terrified.
“It’s alright to be scared, Juni,” Kai’s voice is gentle, floating to me from the doorway. When I look up and lock eyes with him the tears finally fall and he quickly moves toward me, wiping them away. “Don’t worry. I’ve spoken to Nyx a lot over the past few months and I may have been wrong about him. He seems genuine about the treaty. He promised to be kind to you.”
I nod and hold Kai close, not sure how to explain that that’s not even what’s bothering me. Instead I just lay my head on his shoulder and let the tears fall until they stop. “I’m gonna miss you,” I whisper.
“I’ll miss you too.”
“We’re hugging?” Oaks excited voice sounds from the door before his touch starved body barrels toward us. He wraps his arms as tightly around us as he can and buries his head between our bodies.
“I’m gonna miss you too, Oak.”
“You’ll visit, though, right?”
“Of course.”
Nyx
With the wedding closer now, a pit of anxiety forms deep in my belly. I’m terrified that finally spending full days together, she’ll realize I’m different than she thought and fall out of love with me.
Maybe she’ll grow to regret this plan and wish she could go back to the spring court. Mom and Dad can obviously tell I’m freaking out. They keep trying to comfort me and give me advice.
“We have a gift for you,” Mom says as we all get up from the dinner table only days before the ceremony.
“A gift?”
“Yeah,” Dad says, opening the door and gesturing us out of the River House. “It's a wedding gift, really. For you and Juniper, but we figured it’d be better to give you now.”
We walk several blocks, further into the residential part of the city. No matter how many questions I ask, though, they refuse to give me any specifics.
“Here,” Dad says, stopping before a townhouse. Mom pulls out a key and presses it into my palm.
“What’s this?” I ask, knowing full well what’s happening, but unable to process it.
“We figured you wouldn’t want to live with your parents once you’re married,” Mom answers, smiling as she moves to stand by Dad.
“I’ve owned this house for centuries, we lived here before the River Estate was built. It’s been empty, more or less, since then.”
“And you’re just giving it to me?”
“To you and Juniper,” Mom says.
“It’ll be a nice house for you to start out with but if you both hate it, you can buy something else together,” Dad adds.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s a very kind gift.”
Mom just smiles and pulls me in for a hug. “I hope you too find some happiness together,” she whispers against my shoulder.
“Me too, Mom.”
Juniper
The afternoon before the wedding I finish packing all of my belongings into boxes and sit in the naked room while two Night Court males with dark hair and wings bicker and move everything down to the foyer.
“Cas, just shut up and grab the boxes,” one of them snaps.
“I just can’t believe Rhys sent us here on such a petty errand. He knows about my allergies,” the other one complains, sniffling.
“You’re the one that said you were tired of ‘being kept in the dark.’”
“Don’t quote me back to myself.”
“Don’t say stupid shit.”
“Excuse me,” I interrupt before the one called Cassian can reply.
“Do you two always argue like this?”
“Yeah,” Cassian says fondly, smiling at his friend.
“And you work for the Highlord?”
“I don’t like to think of it as working for him and Feyre. We just help him not fuck stuff up too much.”
“You’re full of it, Cassian,” the other male says.
“You’re on a first name basis with them.” I observe.
“Yeah, we grew up with Rhys. I’m Azriel by the way, and this idiot,” he says pointing toward his friend, “is Cassian.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, smiling slightly. Azriel just nods and grabs the last few boxes to move them downstairs.
“We’re gonna leave all of your things in the house you and Nyx will live in in Velaris. Once you arrive it will all be there for you to unpack,” Cassian adds, moving toward the door.
“Thank you,” I say, pleasantries seeming to be the only thing I can muster up.
The males leave soon after and Father seems to be relieved by it. When I come out of my room, though, his mood shifts.
“You weren’t in there alone with them, were you, Juniper?” His voice is a growl low in his chest.
“I- well, yes.”
He grabs my arm tightly in a painful grip. “What the hell were you thinking? Did they do something?”
“Do what?” I ask, confused as I try to pull my arm away from him.
“Father stop,” Kai is standing beside us now, his hand wrapping around Father’s to pull it away. “I was there too, nothing happened.”
He wasn’t there, he’s lying. Kai tugs harder at our fathers hand that is still tightening on me. “You shouldn’t be so fucking stupid,” he spits at me. His tone terrifies me, sending a spike of fear through my veins, then a moment later as Kai rips the hand away from my arm Nyx appears in a flash of darkness.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Father yells, turning his anger toward Nyx now, but Nyx’s eyes are on me.
My arm, more specifically. He’s staring at it where bruises are already forming, then a moment later he’s standing right beside me, inspecting the damage while his fury simmers hotter and hotter. “What the fuck did you do?”
“It’s fine, Nyx. I’m fine,” I say, putting a hand on his arms to calm him down.
“It’s not fucking fine, he hurt you!”
“She’s not yours until after tomorrow, so I suggest you get your hands off her,” my fathers acidic tone floats toward us and for a moment I think Nyx might actually try to kill him.
“Nyx, go. Now.” It takes me growling it in his ear and giving him a withering glare for him to winnow away, but I can feel he’s not really gone. He’s just up in my room.
It takes several minutes for my father to calm down, but he doesn’t grab me again, Kai’s protective stance ensures that. When they’ve both finally stormed off to his office I rush up the stairs to find an anxious looking Oak at the top.
“What are you doing?” I ask, stopping in my tracks.
“Father hurt you?”
“I’ll be fine,” I say simply, pulling Oak up. “You should stay in your room, though. He’s in a foul mood.”
After walking Oak to his room I rush to my own and find Nyx seated on the end of my bed, hands balled into fists and hair slightly on fire.
“Nyx,” I say, hesitantly. His head shoots up but he doesn’t say anything. His blue eyes look like they have fire in them too. “Are you angry with me?”
His expression immediately morphs, the fire calming slightly and vanishing from his eyes. “With you? Of course not.”
“You’re angry with my father, though.”
“The only reason I didn’t rip his head off was because you didn’t want me too. When I felt your fear down the bond I panicked.”
“I understand,” I say, moving to sit beside him. I place a hand on his leg. “I’m alright. He’s never like that and I won’t be here much longer anyway.”
“Mmm, good point,” he whispers, turning his head to nuzzle my ear. “Can I stay for just a little while.”
I don’t say anything else, turning into him instead, I move closer and press my lips to his.
Nyx doesn’t stay long, there is still organization needing to be done in the middle, which he was apparently overseeing when he showed up here.
I spend the rest of my day quietly tucked away in the house with Oak, enjoying his company before I move. Kai shows up in the evening hours with a few new bruises that he claims again are from training.
“Which of the guards is fighting too rough? This doesn’t seem like much of an accident.”
“It’s nothing, Juni. don’t worry about me.”
He leaves after a little while and I almost miss the grimace on his face as he straightens his back. He’s hurt worse than he’s letting on and a part of me isn’t ready to accept that it was just a training mishap.
-
I sleep terribly that night, unable to think about anything but the wedding the following day, and when I’m woken in the morning it’s after only a few hours of sleep. The remaining of my belongings are loaded into the carriages and the three of us- Kai, Oak, and I- all travel by carriage toward a tunnel.
Father’s going to come later, apparently, not deeming an early arrival important. I try to rest on the way but now my brothers are the one’s making it impossible. They bicker nearly the entire way,
When we arrive rocks are still being cleared out of the way of the tunnel. I can’t help but smile, remembering the night the mating bond clicked into place for Nyx and I in this very spot. A few servants arrive as the last of the rubble is being pushed aside and grab for my bags, and Kai moves forward, eager to scope out the tunnel.
“Kai was it?” My brother immediately stiffens at the female voice coming from further in the tunnel. A moment later a beautiful lady with golden brown hair and eyes I recognize as Nyx’s steps forward
“Yes,” Kai says after a moment, “Highlady Feyre.” The female smiles, her gaze drifting to me in a soft but assessing way.
“My lady,” I say, addressing her formally.
“You can just call me Feyre,” she says.
“Woah,” Oak’s awed voice matches the expression on his face as he moves forward to get a better look at the Highlady. “You’re really here, in front of me. The first ever Highlady.”
She smiles down at him and merely nods.
“What’s it like being the first ever Highlady. I’ve done an extensive amount of research and there really is no record of a Highlady before you? Is it totally awesome being a part of history?”
“Oak, calm down,” Kai says.
“I suppose it’s awesome,” Feyre says amused. “I’ve never explicitly thought of it like that, though. Do you like history?”
“Like it?” Oak repeats. “I love it, history’s my favorite subject.”
“Well, you could probably teach me a few things, it’s never been a big interest of mine, so I’m sure I don’t know much.”
“I could tell you all kinds of things. We’ve got all day.”
The Highlady nods, motioning Oak forward so he can talk while we all start to move further into the cave. “I’ll show you all inside, there are rooms set up for you to get ready in,” she says to me.
The rest of us are silent as Oak rambles on about interesting parts of Prythian history, and at times, more specifically, Night Court history.
“Your court’s actually the one I know the least about. The Night Court’s very secretive.”
The Highlady hums her agreement as we walk into a massive room. “This is the main room where everything is going to be taking place,” she says, “and a little bit of history for you, Oak: this was once Amarantha’s throne room, and before that the main meeting chamber for the Highlords.”
I remember seeing drawings of this room in books but it’s nothing like it was depicted. The ceiling still remains so high it’s beyond sight but littered around the higher parts of the walls are skylights, letting natural sunlight into the mountain.
Other light sources are littered around the room too, some hanging from the ceilings. The walls are a clean, jagged stone that the light appears to reflect off of and the floor is marble. With the decorations and clean touch it hardly feels like we’re under a mountain at all.
“It’s beautiful,” I say, turning in a circle to take it all in while decorations are just beginning to be hung. “You changed a lot of it,” I ask, realizing the drawings I saw were probably not inaccurate, but old.
“Yes. There are many bad memories here, we wanted to make it feel like a new place entirely.”
“You know a lot about the bad history here, don’t you?” Oak asks. “I know nothing of it.”
“I do,” Feyre says, tensing slightly, “but it was not all that long ago, it hardly feels historic.”
Oak only nods, turning in a circle to inspect the walls, already distracted.
“I just got word from Tarquin,” the Highlord of the Night Court says, winnowing to stand just behind his wife. “He’s coming with Varian and a few guards.”
“We shouldn’t be surprised so few of the courts plan on showing up,” Feyre replies.
“Which ones are?” I interrupt, knowing nothing of the actual guest list, then tack on, “my lord,” realizing who I was addressing.
His smile seems more than a little amused as he tells me to call him Rhys, then he lists off the guests from the other courts. “From Day: Helion and Lucian; Dawn: Thesean and his lover; Winter: Kallias; Summer: Tarquin and Varian. Not to mention the guards each of them are bringing. Most of the crowd will be citizens from both of our courts.”
I nod, not knowing what else to say about the subject, and take another look around the massive room. “Is Nyx here too?”
“Not yet,” The Highlady says. “He’s taking care of a few things back home, then he’ll come here to get ready before the ceremony tonight.”
“Home,” I repeat, thinking about my home and wondering if I’ll ever feel like the Night Court can be that for me.
“Velaris, yes. I think you’ll like it there, Juniper.”
I smile fondly at her, she really does seem kind. “I hope so.”
Nyx
The hour has finally arrived and I couldn’t be more nervous.
“Don’t be scared, Nyx,” Dad says, adjusting my shirt collar.
“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Cas adds, from across the room where he’s lounging and sipping wine. “Just go up there, get hitched, make a little deal, have a party, then you’re done.”
“Yeah, nothing to be nervous about at all,” I mumble sarcastically.
“You’ll be fine,” Dad reassures, then for the rest of the short time I have, he and my uncles make sure I look decent enough and try to ease my nerves before throwing me up on the altar.
Only twenty minutes later and I’m standing in front of a massive crowd, mom and dad in the first seats to my left. Mom smiles reassuringly but then my attention is snatched away as the music starts up.
The doors swing open, petals slowly start drifting down from the sky, and Juniper appears in a simple lace gown, her father on her arm. The sight of her takes my breath away as she slowly walks down the aisle. I don’t know what to think or how to breathe looking at her on what we’ll remember as our wedding day.
After what feels like hours, she finally makes it to the end of the aisle. I have to go down a step to take her hand but am more than happy to finally be pulling her away from her father. He moves to sit next to Juniper’s brothers, on the opposite side of the aisle from my parents.
Then, the priestess begins.
Juniper
I hold my breath as Nyx takes my hand and helps me up the few steps of the altar. The room is filled with people and I was terrified I would trip on the long walk down the aisle, thankfully I didn’t and the rest of the ceremony should be simple enough.
Nyx holds both of my hands in his as the priestess starts her speech, but I can’t pay attention to any of it. My eyes are locked on Nyx’s across from me. I’ve been terrified for weeks that this was all going to backfire or end horribly for us, but something in his eyes ensures me it won't.
The calm blue-gray of them eases my nerves and without thinking I smile softly at him, hoping he gets my message of thanks. He smiles back immediately, and the priestess’s speech comes to an end.
Without moving a finger a ring appears in my right palm and as Nyx’s right hand tightens into a fist I realize one appeared in his too. Looking into his eyes I lift my left hand and move the ring in my right to his raised hand.
The priestess begins talking again, reciting some vows as we simultaneously slip the rings onto one another's left hands.
With that she takes a step back and our parents move forward. My father sets a hand on my shoulder just as Nyx’s parents grip one of his each, and silently, the deal becomes a living thing between our courts.
Beneath the new ring on my finger a slight tingle runs across my hand. A quick look down shows a tattoo running up from my finger then along the rest of my palm, stopping after wrapping around my wrist.
An identical design decorates Nyx’s hand too, but the design on my father, I notice, is a bracelet-like design around his wrist. The same is true for the Night Court Highpeople.
A gasp from behind me, though, is what brings about the real surprise. Not only is a design like the one on Nyx and I’s hands on Kai’s, but on Oak too.
Then a light flashes between us and the shields Nyx had up, blocking our mating bond from notice, drops and it pulls taught between us.
Not edited; please let me know of any plot holes. I just wanted to get all of the chapters out there.
Juniper
Nyx said the meeting was going to be in the Spring Court this time and I couldn’t imagine my father would have it be anywhere but the manor. My suspicions are confirmed when the day before the meeting father says Oak and I have to remain in our rooms until dinner.
Oak seems confused, and ready to ignore the order and sneak out, but before bed Kai asks us to listen and stay in our rooms for the day. Even more confused, Oak asks a handful of questions that Kai redirects, but promises to listen.
We all go to bed soon after and I can't help but feel equal amounts anxiety and excitement about Nyx freely walking in the Spring Court.
Nyx
The moment my feet land on Spring Court soil I feel the bond strengthen and vibrate inside me, increasing my urge to go to her. I do everything I can to resist, though, and try to act like everything about the court is new to me.
“Smells like rain here,” I say, hoping I’m supporting my ruse.
“Yeah,” mom says, “rain and roses, the constant scent of Spring.”
“Do you hate the smell of it now?” I ask as the four of us walk up the steps to the manor.
“No, I don’t hate it. Well, maybe the roses; I kind of hate red roses.”
I don’t say anything else, not knowing what to say, and not wanting to bring up any bad memories for her. Dad knocks loudly on the door a moment later, and after a shuffling sound behind the doors, they swing open.
It’s not the highlord greeting us, though. A few servants usher us inside, some of them smiling slightly in mom’s direction. She smiles back too, but then our attention is drawn away. A throat clears in the back of the foyer.
“Welcome to the Spring Court,” the male offers, smiling what almost looks like a grimace. His wavy blond hair, cut short on top of his head, and bright green eyes are the only similarities he has with his father, but I instantly recognize him from other court gatherings- Kai.
“You can follow me to the study,” he says, and with that, turns around and walks toward the hall.
We-Mom, Dad, Azriel, and I- follow silently, and I don’t miss the way Mom seems to stiffen as we draw further into the house.
We walk into the study behind Kai and he moves to sit beside his father, who’s seated in a chair behind a large oak table. On the other side are three more chairs, we take our seats, both Dad and I directing Mom to the middle between us.
Tamlin doesn’t speak for a long moment, but when he does he speaks to my mother. “How are you, Feyre?” His eyes rake over her in a way that makes me want to gouge his or mine out.
“I’m doing very well, Tamlin. How are you?”
He doesn’t answer her question. “You haven’t been back to the Spring court since you… left,” he seems to hesitate on the word as if it’s poison in his mouth. “Are you enjoying seeing it again?”
“It looks different,” is all she says.
“Pleasantries aside, let's talk about the deal,” my father interrupts, draping an arm over the back of Mom's chair.
“You’re agreeing to my half of the deal?”
“Yes.”
“So, then when your daughter is 18 she’ll marry my son.”
“25,” my mother says immediately, prepared to argue this.
“20,” Tamlin spits back, “you had no qualms about marrying that young.
“23,” my father counters, ignoring the jab.
“21, that’s as high as I’ll go.”
My parents share a look but then agree. None of them are the first to speak after the fast debate, though.
“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” Kai asks, confusion obvious on his face.
“Right,” Tamlin says, turning to his son. “Juniper isn’t the only one in this bargain. She’ll marry the night prince, and you’ll marry their princess.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“This is what’s best for you.” A strange look, disgust maybe, seems to flash across the Highlord's face for a moment as he looks at his son.
“You can’t just-”
“Can’t what, Kai?” Tamlin cuts him off. “You have no right to place your opinions anywhere until I’m dead, so let's not have this argument again.”
Kai looks away from his father after only a moment, moving his gaze to the floor.
“To the matter at hand, then,” Tamlin returns the conversation back to us. “The wedding can take place in three months to the day, my daughter can plan it with the priestesses, the Spring Court will do, yes?”
“Hold on now.” Dad straightens in his chair. “Your daughter can plan the ceremony all she likes but it’s not happening in this court.”
“Well it’s not happening in the Night Court either.”
“The Middle, then,” Mom suggests. “Tamlin, you can plan the wedding and pay the expenses for it. Our court will clean up the Mountain, and we’ll hold the wedding as its first event.”
“Feyre,” Dad whispers, and a few moments pass as they have a silent conversation. In the end Dad nods his agreement, and turns forward, not saying anything.
“Fine,” Tamlin agrees, “we'll invite all the Courts, the wedding and cleanup will be a gift from all of us.
“Perfect,” Dad agrees and conversation moves to the specifics of the deal and where in the ceremony it will take place. It’s an hour, at least, before we return home to Velaris.
-
“What the fuck do you mean ‘marry’?” Aunt Mor practically roars the question across the dinner table at my parents.
“Nyx is going to marry Princess Juniper, they’ll live here in the Night Court, and when Rhys and I have a daughter she’ll be promised to a Prince of Spring,” Mom says calmly, cutting into her meat.
“You can’t be serious,” Uncle Cas says. “No wait, you are serious… but more importantly, Az, you knew and you didn’t tell me?” A look of unbridled betrayal crosses my uncle's face, I can’t help but smile.
“I was sworn to secrecy,” Azriel defends.
Cas turns to Dad, “did you swear him to secrecy?”
“Ehh, not really,” he says, before being assaulted with food from Azriel.
“That is not what’s most important, Cassian. Why would you do this?” Mor’s obviously very angry.
“Look, Mor,” Cas hedges, “if they made this decision they probably know a lot more than us, they did their research. We both know they wouldn’t make a decision like this on a whim. Besides, Nyx seems fine with it.”
“Yeah, it was basically his idea,” Dad says.
“Your idea, Nyx? Why would you agree to marry the enemy? Someone you don’t love.”
That’s just it, I think, I do love her. But I can’t say that. “They don’t have to be the enemy, Mor. That's the whole point of this. And who’s to say I won’t fall in love with her anyway. Tarquin’s marriage was arranged, wasn’t it? He seems very fond of his wife.”
She doesn’t say anything else, just shakes her head at us before standing up and storming out.
“Alright, I think we need to drink in celebration of Nyx’s upcoming nuptials and in hope of him falling in love with his wife,” Cas says, breaking the silence. A few bottles of wine appear a second later and mom begins pouring it.
Juniper
“What?” I practically shout, trying to feign surprise. Kai looks at me blankly and raises his eyebrows slightly, knowing I’m lying.
“You’re going to marry Prince Nyx, and I don’t want to hear any complaining about it. You won’t change my mind,” Father says simply, prepared for my outburst.
“I can’t believe this. I’ve never even met him!” I will tears to my eyes and hope they mask the lie.
“You’ve seen him at a few Court functions in the past, but it doesn't really matter. The deal is settled, you have three months to plan the wedding.”
“Three months?” Now my surprise and outrage are genuine. “A wedding can’t be planned in such little time.”
“Well, it needs to be, and you ought to start with the invitations, they need to go out soon.”
Father leaves the dining room a moment after that and a few ladies filter in. “we’re here to help with the planning, your Highness,” they say, curtsying.
“I can’t believe you’re going to have to move away,” Oak says, wide eyed after witnessing the entire conversation.
“That’s what you’re worried about, Oak? She’s going to be forced to marry the spawn of pure evil and you’re worried about her living arrangements?”
“Don’t be mean, Kai,” I snap at him. Yelling at Oak is very out of character for him, he must really be on edge. “And you don’t know that they’re evil, maybe we should give them a chance. This is supposed to be about a treaty after all.” Then, turning back to Oak, I add, “I’ll write all the time, and I’m sure they’ll let me visit.”
“Probably not,” Kai says, slouching in his chair and crossing his arms.
I ignore him and face the wedding planners instead. “We should start with invitations.”
“We’ve already got some formats you can choose from. And samples from a calligrapher so you can pick a font too.”
“Perfect,” I say, plastering on a fake smile. Though I want to marry my mate more than anything, planning a wedding is not an interest of mine.
I’m posting the next several chapters now, but they’re barely edited and may have plot holes. Feel free to comment any big mistakes or plot holes :)
Nyx x Juniper (Tamlins daughter)
WC: 1596
Juniper
It’s been another boring day, and while trying to convince our parents of an arranged marriage, Nyx and I’ve barely been able to write to one another; I haven’t gotten a letter from him in what feels like ages.
Climbing the stairs as fast as fast as my legs allow, I move for my room, intent on sending a note to Nyx to meet me tonight, even if it's only for a few hours. When I open the door, though, he’s already sprawled out on my bed.
The ache in my chest instantly eases at the sight of him. “Nyx,” his name is a sigh on my lips. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you. And I could tell you missed me too.” He tugs on the invisible bond between us, making me nearly fall in my haste to get to him.
“Nyx,” I say again, unable to say anything else. I crawl over him and sprawl across his body, rubbing my nose into his neck to smell him.
“The meeting went well,” he says, wrapping his arms around my back, “your father is prepared to agree, and my parents are just on the cusp of it.”
Confused, I think back to Nyx’s recent letters, but no mention of a meeting comes to mind. “What meeting?” I ask, moving to have a better view of his face.
He appears to hesitate for a second, then a flash of anger crosses his expression, and his arms tighten around me. “He didn’t even tell you?”
“Nyx,” I rub a hand up and down his arms, trying to soothe him. “Calm down.”
His eyes flash to mine, the blue brighter than usual as his skin heats beneath my hand. He tenses against me but, after a moment, relaxes back on the bed and pulls me close, the heat receding. “There was a meeting between courts to discuss an arranged marriage treaty. Your father agreed if my parents agree to have a daughter who’ll marry one of his sons.”
“Oh.”
“Are you upset?”
“I don’t know. I feel bad for dragging my brothers into this.”
“But just think about the peace between our courts.”
I nod, laying my head back against his chest. “You’re right; it will all work out in the end. I’m just glad we’ll be able to get married soon and be together.”
“If they agree,” he says, leaving everything uncertain between us.
–
Nyx spends the rest of the day and night with me. We lay in bed the entire time and talk about everything to come. For a few hours we even talk about what we want our life to look like in Velaris.
“It’s the most beautiful city in all of Prythian, I swear. You’ll love it.”
“I’m sure I will, Nyx.”
“We can get a house in the city and decorate together.
And get a dog. Or a cat.”
“You want pets?”
“Absolutely.”
“How many?”
“I don’t know. As many as we have room for. I love animals.”
“Alright, as many as possible then.”
“There are shelters we can rescue from.”
-
Nyx leaves early in the morning the next day and I already miss him and spend most of the day in my room, imagining Velaris and the life I may soon have with Nyx in his beautiful city. I don’t actually leave my room until after dinner.
Oak came to hang out with me for a few hours but no one else has stopped by all day so I’m curious to see what they’re up to.
When I open the dining room doors I’m greeted by Oak again as he shovels chocolate pudding into his mouth. “Hey,” he mumbles around his full mouth.
“Where are Father and Kai?”
He swallows his full mouth and speaks after a long moment. “They went to the study. Something important they needed to talk in private about,” he answers, shrugging and turning back to his dessert.
Leaving then I make my way to the study but stop just short of opening the doors. The arguing inside is clear enough from here.
“You can’t just sell her!” Kai’s voice is practically a roar, but a quieter one interrupts the arguing.
“You shouldn’t be standing out here, your Highness,” it’s one of the guards at the door. “Your father wouldn’t want you eavesdropping. But more importantly, your brother wouldn’t either.”
More importantly? I wonder, and can see on the males face that he seems to realize his mistake. Why does this guard think Kai not wanting me eavesdropping is more important?
The guard looks away from me, staring down the hall instead.
“What’s your name?” I ask.
“Aleksander,” he says, still not looking at me.
There’s something in his eyes that I can’t decipher and I know he’s trying to hide it from me so I decide to turn around, knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea to interrupt their arguing, and go to bed.
The next morning I get up early, intent on talking to Kai and convincing him I understand the circumstances of this arranged marriage, and that I’m okay with making this ‘sacrifice.’ I get dressed before my ladies maid even shows up to wake me and leave my room silently, wanting to catch him before breakfast.
“Good morning, Aleksander,” I say, noticing the guard in the hall near Kai’s room as the same one from last night.
“It’s a little early, no, my lady?”
“I want to see my brother before breakfast. I’m sure he’s already awake.”
The guard says nothing as I knock on Kai’s door and open it, letting myself in, but listening for an objection.
“Alek?” My brother's throaty morning voice asks from somewhere in the still dark bedroom as I open the door more.
“Nope. Juniper.”
He doesn’t say anything but I make out his silhouette rushing from the bed to pick something up from the floor, and as I turn on the lights I notice it’s a shirt that he’s quickly pulling on.
“Juni, what are you doing here?” He turns toward the bathroom, still not looking at me, and grabs something from the cabinet. That’s when I notice the bruises; they’re faint, but he’s rubbing a salve on them to heal them faster.
“What happened?”
“It’s nothing, just an accident during training yesterday,” he says, but he still hasn’t looked me in the eye. “What did you need, Juni?” he asks, spinning around to face me.
“I wanted to talk to you about your argument with father yesterday.” He immediately tenses. “I heard enough of it and I don’t want you defending me. I’m willing to marry the Night Prince if it means uniting our courts,” I say, trying to watch my words so I don’t let on that I know more than I should.
“Juniper, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I do! I’m not some helpless child, Kai. I can take care of myself so just trust me on this.”
Kai doesn’t speak for a long moment. “Juniper-”
“No. There's nothing for you to do about it, so don’t argue with father on my account.” I turn to leave, having said my piece, and walk for the door. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”
Nyx
It’s a long day of mindless hobbies, since mom and dad still won’t let me work, and wondering if the small note I left on their desk was enough to evade punishment. Hanging with a friend on a boat in international waters, be back soon, it had said.
“Nyx,” my mother’s voice rouses me from my thoughts. “Your father, Azriel, and I talked a great deal and have decided to agree to Tamlins terms.”
“With him raising an army, tension’s are growing,” dad adds.
“And though we’re sure we could beat the Spring Court in any war,” mom starts.
“We don’t want to risk any lives for something that we have a chance to prevent right now. It would be selfish of us to ignore this opportunity.”
I nod, not knowing what to say while I internally rejoice at the news.
“I did background on the sons,” Azriel informs. I hadn’t even noticed him come in, though it’s impossible if he doesn’t want you to.
“Right,” I say, taking another bite of food. “What’d you find out?”
“Nothing. They’re both squeaky clean. The younger one, Oak, is innocent enough. He spends most of his time reading or roaming the woods. The older one, Kai, is everything you’d expect from a young man who’s going to be highlord someday.”
“Meaning?”
“He’s a lot like you. Hard working, intelligent, quiet with no obvious friends, and protective of his loved ones.”
“Did you just call me a loser?”
My uncle smirks but it vanishes when my mother asks a question. “You don’t think he’s too much like his father?”
“I don’t think he has a reason to respect or like his father much, and no, I don’t think he’ll be like Tamlin at his worst.”
“That’s rather specific,” Mom says what we’re all thinking.
“There’s no need to share the details,” Az evades.
“Azriel,” Dad pipes up, his tone questioning with a hint of authority.
“Trust me.” Az looks Dad dead in the eyes when he says it, and something in his expression must convince my father because he nods and turns back to me.
“There’s going to be another meeting in the Spring Court a few days from now. Just to discuss details; the deal won’t really be made until the wedding.”
I nod, understanding, and wish the day would arrive sooner.
Hey ya’ll! Sorry I haven’t posted in a bit. I was sick off and on then it was finals weeks :( I’m gonna try and update soon and write more but I haven’t been all that motivated recently, sorry
Juniper
It’s been another boring day, and while trying to convince our parents of an arranged marriage, Nyx and I’ve barely been able to write to one another; I haven’t gotten a letter from him in what feels like ages.
Climbing the stairs as fast as fast as my legs allow, I move for my room, intent on sending a note to Nyx to meet me tonight, even if it's only for a few hours. When I open the door, though, he’s already sprawled out on my bed.
The ache in my chest instantly eases at the sight of him. “Nyx,” his name is a sigh on my lips. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you. And I could tell you missed me too.” He tugs on the invisible bond between us, making me nearly fall in my haste to get to him.
“Nyx,” I say again, unable to say anything else. I crawl over him and sprawl across his body, rubbing my nose into his neck to smell him.
“The meeting went well,” he says, wrapping his arms around my back, “your father is prepared to agree, and my parents are just on the cusp of it.”
Confused, I think back to Nyx’s recent letters, but no mention of a meeting comes to mind.“What meeting?” I ask, moving to have a better view of his face.
He appears to hesitate for a second, then a flash of anger crosses his expression, and his arms tighten around me. “He didn’t even tell you?”
“Nyx,” I rub a hand up and down his arms, trying to soothe him. “Calm down.”
His eyes flash to mine, the blue brighter than usual as his skin heats beneath my hand. He tenses against me but, after a moment, relaxes back on the bed and pulls me close, the heat receding. “There was a meeting between courts to discuss an arranged marriage treaty. Your father agreed if my parents agree to have a daughter who’ll marry one of his sons.”
“Oh.”
“Are you upset?”
“I don’t know. I feel bad for dragging my brothers into this.”
“But just think about the peace between our courts.”
I nod, laying my head back against his chest. “You’re right; it will all work out in the end. I’m just glad we’ll be able to get married soon and be together.”
“If they agree,” he says, leaving everything uncertain between us.
–
Nyx spends the rest of the day and night with me. We lay in bed the entire time and talk about everything to come. For a few hours we even talk about what we want our life to look like in Velaris.
“It’s the most beautiful city in all of Prythian, I swear. You’ll love it.”
“I’m sure I will, Nyx.”
“We can get a house in the city and decorate together. And get a dog. Or a cat.”
“You wnat pets?
“Absolutley.”
“How many?”
“I don’t know. As many as we have room for. I love animals.”
“Alright, as many as possible then.”
“There are shelters we can rescue from.”
-
Nyx leaves early in the morning the next day and I already miss him and spend most of the day in my room, imagining Velaris and the life I may soon have with Nyx in his beautiful city. I don’t actually leave my room until after dinner.
Oak came to hang out with me for a few hours but no one else has stopped by all day so I’m curious to see what they’re up to.
When I open the dining room doors I’m greeted by Oak again as he shovels chocolate pudding into his mouth. “Hey,” he mumbles around his full mouth.
“Where are Father and Kai?”
He swallows his full mouth and speaks after a long moment. “They went to the study. Something important they needed to talk in private about,” he answers, shrugging and turning back to his dessert.
Leaving then I make my way to the study but stop just short of opening the doors. The arguing inside is clear enough from here.
“You can’t just sell her!” Kai’s voice is practically a roar, but a quieter one interrupts the arguing.
“You shouldn’t be standing out here, your Highness,” it’s one of the guards at the door. “Your father wouldn’t want you eavesdropping. But more importantly, your brother wouldn’t either.”
More importantly? I wonder, and can see on the males face that he seems to realize his mistake. Why does this guard think Kai not wanting me eavesdropping is more important?
The guard looks away from me, staring down the hall instead.
“What’s your name?” I ask.
“Aleksander,” he says, still not looking at me.
There’s something in his eyes that I can’t decipher and I know he’s trying to hide it from me so I decide to turn around, knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea to interrupt their arguing, and go to bed.
The next morning I get up early, intent on talking to Kai and convincing him I understand the circumstances of this arranged marriage, and that I’m okay with making this ‘sacrifice.’ I get dressed before my ladies maid even shows up to wake me and leave my room silently, wanting to catch him before breakfast.
“Good morning, Aleksander,” I say, noticing the guard in the hall near Kai’s room as the same one from last night.
“It’s a little early, no, my lady?”
“I want to see my brother before breakfast. I’m sure he’s already awake.”
The guard says nothing as I knock on Kai’s door and open it, letting myself in, but listening for an objection.
“Alek?” My brother's throaty morning voice asks from somewhere in the still dark bedroom as I open the door more.
“Nope. Juniper.”
He doesn’t say anything but I make out his silhouette rushing from the bed to pick something up from the floor, and as I turn on the lights I notice it’s a shirt that he’s quickly pulling on.
“Juni, what are you doing here?” He turns toward the bathroom, still not looking at me, and grabs something from the cabinet. That’s when I notice the bruises; they’re faint, but he’s rubbing a salve on them to heal them faster.
“What happened?”
“It’s nothing, just an accident during training yesterday,” he says, but he still hasn’t looked me in the eye. “What did you need, Juni?” he asks, spinning around to face me.
“I wanted to talk to you about your argument with father yesterday.” He immediately tenses. “I heard enough of it and I don’t want you defending me. I’m willing to marry the Night Prince if it means uniting our courts,” I say, trying to watch my words so I don’t let on that I know more than I should.
“Juniper, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I do! I’m not some helpless child, Kai. I can take care of myself so just trust me on this.”
Kai doesn’t speak for a long moment. “Juniper-”
“No. There's nothing for you to do about it, so don’t argue with father on my account.” I turn to leave, having said my piece, and walk for the door. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”
Nyx
It’s a long day of mindless hobbies, since mom and dad still won’t let me work, and wondering if the small note I left on their desk was enough to evade punishment. Hanging with a friend on a boat in international waters, be back soon, it had said.
“Nyx,” my mother’s voice rouses me from my thoughts. “Your father, Azriel, and I talked a great deal and have decided to agree to Tamlins terms.”
“With him raising an army, tension’s are growing,” dad adds.
“And though we’re sure we could beat the Spring Court in any war,” mom starts.
“We don’t want to risk any lives for something that we have a chance to prevent right now. It would be selfish of us to ignore this opportunity.”
I nod, not knowing what to say while I internally rejoice at the news.
“I did background on the sons,” Azriel informs. I hadn’t even noticed him come in, though it’s impossible if he doesn’t want you to.
“Right,” I say, taking another bite of food. “What’d you find out?”
“Nothing. They’re both squeaky clean. The younger one, Oak, is innocent enough. He spends most of his time reading or roaming the woods. The older one, Kai, is everything you’d expect from a young man who’s going to be highlord someday.”
“Meaning?”
“He’s a lot like you. Hard working, intelligent, quiet with no obvious friends, and protective of his loved ones.”
“Did you just call me a loser?”
My uncle smirks but it vanishes when my mother asks a question. “You don’t think he’s too much like his father?”
“I don’t think he has a reason to respect or like his father much, and no, I don’t think he’ll be like Tamlin at his worst.”
“That’s rather specific,” Mom says what we’re all thinking.
“There’s no need to share the details,” Az evades.
“Azriel,” Dad pipes up, his tone questioning with a hint of authority.
“Trust me.” Az looks Dad dead in the eyes when he says it, and something in his expression must convince my father because he nods and turns back to me.
“There’s going to be another meeting in the Spring Court a few days from now. Just to discuss details; the deal won’t really be made until the wedding.”
I nod, understanding, and wish the day would arrive sooner.
It takes me several hours before I come up with a way to make my father think of an arranged marriage as a solution to uniting our court with Spring and a whole day before I get my parents alone to bring it up.
My aunts and uncles lurk around the entire afternoon and evening following my stay in the Spring Court. It’s annoying, but it’s not like I can blow up at them and tell them to leave without making them worry, so I just wait anxiously.
I barely get any sleep that night as they drink and joke. Tomorrow at lunch is my chance; Uncle Cas will leave for the Steppes in the morning, Mor is on her way to the continent, Amren is headed to the Summer Court, and I can only hope Az doesn’t stop by for lunch. Though, I could probably bring up the conversation without him dissuading my parents.
So in the morning, after barely sleeping and being completely unfocused while training with Dad and Uncle Az, I eat a quick breakfast and go to my room to memorize exactly what I’m going to say at lunch.
As we sit down at the table, I barely pay attention to my food and try to look like I’m thinking. It takes a few minutes, furrowing my brow and barely eating my food, for my mother to speak up.
“Nyx, baby, what are you thinking about?”
“Hmm?” I ask absentmindedly as Az walks in and try not to seem annoyed by it.
“You look like you’re thinking pretty hard. What’re you thinking about?”
“Oh, um, just how to make peace with the Spring Court,” I say, “but that’s difficult because we don’t trust one another. The only way we’d ever be really civil, I think, is an unbreakable bond between courts.”
“There’s no such thing, Nyx. Unless you mean marriage,” Dad says. I try to look like I hadn’t even thought of that and hope the surprise shows.
“And we would never ask you to do such a thing-” Mom says from his side.
“I would do it. Marry someone if it means peace between our families. If it means we don’t have to wonder if the Spring Court will decide to attack us or our people in the future.”
“Nyx-”
“You don’t have to ask. I’m offering. If you think this could solve the issue, then I’ll do it.”
They look at one another for a moment, conversing in their heads before my father says, “We’ll think about it.” I can feel uncle Az looking at me but refuse to meet his eyes. It was stupid to think I could bring this up with him in the room; he’ll surely know I’m lying about something.
-
Juniper
I don’t get a new letter from Nyx for a while after he leaves, but when I do, he tells me it went well, bringing the idea up to his parents and that they’re thinking about it. I hope everything continues going well and they agree to the marriage because I’d hate to live a lie, but not for the first time, I’m considering running away if I have to.
Shortly after Nyx and I first started writing to one another, I got into an argument with my father, and he grounded me. That’s the first time the idea popped into my head. I can shift, not as much as my father or Kai, but I have some powers.
I’m certain I could change some of my facial features and the color of my hair. Maybe even the size of my breasts or waist. Or even my height. I had planned it all out. I’d change my name and enough of my features to look like a different person then I’d run away to the Night Court.
In the end I didn’t go through with it. I was a little scared Nyx wouldn’t want me to come to his court to be together, but more than anything, I knew Kai and Oak would worry. I didn’t want them wondering if I was dead or alive, and I knew I’d miss them.
Now, though, I’m seriously considering it again. I know Nyx would want to be with me, and I even think I could tell Oak about my plan, and he would keep it secret. We could write letters back and forth to one another under my new name, and no one would be the wiser. Then, one day, he could tell Kai without making my older brother think I’d been kidnapped.
I didn’t want to tell Nyx about my backup plan yet because it would do nothing for the relationship between our courts, so instead, I wrote to him about trying to put the thought in my fathers head and told him I really hoped it worked, but that I was working on a back up plan in case it didn’t.
I didn’t say anything else about it and hoped, beyond reason, he wouldn’t ask unless our current idea failed.
Nyx
Another day and a half goes by before my parents ask me to meet them in their office. Mother above, I hope Az didn’t tell them about his suspicions. I have no idea what Juniper’s back up plan is, but if it’s taking a back seat to our current idea, I probably don’t want to have to resort to it.
Both of them look up as I walk into the room and take a seat in front of them, preparing myself for an interrogation, but I’m completely wrong, apparently.
“How many friends do you have?” my father asks.
“What?” I ask, confused and completely caught off guard.
“Friends. We know you have one penpal but do you have other friends? How many people have you met since we’ve given you less work? Have you even left the house since we gave you time off?”
“There was that time he disappeared for almost 24 hours,” my mother says.
Shit! No one mentioned it, so I was hoping they hadn’t noticed.
“Of course we noticed, Nyx. We were worried sick.”
“And a few hours away from sending people outside the court to search for you,” Mom adds, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you guys would freak out so much. I’m nineteen; I can make my own choices.”
“We know that, Nyx, but we couldn’t get ahold of you. Do you know what that tells us?”
When I don’t say anything he continues. “Either you were ignoring us, too far away to speak to, or dead.”
Mom takes a deep breath in as he speaks the last word, and suddenly I realize just how much trouble I’m in. Everything else makes sense too. My aunts and uncles checking in on me the past couple of days, Mom asking if I want to paint with her like I used to, Dad opening my bedroom every night to make sure I’m in bed sleeping.
“I’m sorry,” I say, honestly, “I promise I won’t go away for long periods of time without leaving a note or something.”
“Where did you go?” Mom asks.
I open my mouth to respond but realize I haven’t come up with a good lie yet. “Um, hanging out with a friend. In the Summer Court, so I was too far away to notice if you were trying to speak to me.”
“You know we’re supposed to run it by the Highpeople if you go into their court. Otherwise, they’ll have reason to think you’re sneaking around.”
“I know. Sorry,” I say again. “It was just a last-minute meet-up. It would have taken days if not weeks for Tarquin to agree.”
Mom starts drafting a letter to him as we speak, probably calling me out for my insolence and making me seem like a spoiled brat in the Highlord's eyes. “If it happens again, Nyx, we’ll have to-” she hesitates, looking up from the paper, “ground you,” she finishes sounding unsure of the decision herself.
“You’re going to start grounding me at nineteen.”
“I don’t know, Nyx. You’ve never done anything punishable before.”
“We can’t ground him,” Dad says, “he never leaves the house anyway.”
“I think I need to take offense to that.” I frown.
He just shrugs. “To punish you, if you do something like that again, “I’ll get some information about a few party’s and force you to attend.”
“Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.”
“Dad, you can’t-”
He cuts me off, “you wanna bet?” he smirks, so I just stay quiet and cross my arms.
“Fine,” I agree, “no more misbehaving.”
“Alright, you can go then,” dad says, returning to the work on his desk.
“What about- Have you made a decision about the arranged marriage?” I try to keep my expression neutral.
“If you’re certain, Nyx, we intend to arrange a meeting with Tamlin as long as he is willing.”
“Good,” I say. “Do it.”
-
A few weeks go by with letters to Juniper and anticipation of the day Tamlin has agreed to meet us in the Court of Nightmares. I anxiously stay up at night wondering about the decision and wishing Juniper would tell me about this backup plan she has.
When the day finally comes, I'm practically shaking from nerves. In my room, picking the most professional outfit I have, I take deep breaths and think about the arguments that may need to be made to convince the High Lord of Spring.
“Are you ready, Nyx,” Mom asks after a knock on the door.
“Yeah,” I say before leaving the room to meet my parents and Azriel in the foyer.
We winnow to our home above The Court of Nightmares and sit in the meeting room, placed above the rest of the house with no walls at all, it's only accessible by staircases. A pillar of dark stone stands in each corner, and curtains billow between them as we take our seats along half of the rectangular table. My father to my left, and Mom on my other side, Azriel stands behind us.
We expected Tamlin five minutes after our arrival, but eager to take control, he shows up 20 minutes late. Dad just decides to fill the time reminiscing on his childhood and how he ‘kicked Azriel’s butt’ in a game of Illyrian hide and seek, which my uncle just rolls his eyes at.
He stops, though, when the distant tap of footsteps sound a few floors below. A minute passes as they get closer, and we all look to the door as Tamlin enters with a few of his guards and one of our own-Lillian. She could probably take them all down without losing her breath, and none of them even realize it.
“Alright,” Tamlin starts, immediately taking a seat while his guards remain standing, “Are you going to tell me about your plans for a peace treaty or not? I don’t have all day.”
My father only waits a few more moments and looks at both me and my mother before explaining to the other highlord how we could make a deal uniting the courts through the marriage of me and his daughter.
When Dad finishes speaking Tamlin looks contemplative for a second and remains silent before finally speaking.
“How is that fair,” he says gruffly. “If you get my daughter, then I want yours promised to my son.”
“We don’t have a daughter,” Father says, and I can hear the frustration and anger rising just by his tone.
“Not yet,” Tamlin agrees, “but you could, and if you don’t, then it should be the next female born by your blood.”
“That could be your own daughter's child,” Mom pipes up. “She would be marrying her uncle.”
Tamlin just shrugs. “Thicker blood has been crossed.” He’s not wrong, it wasn’t long ago that courts tried to maintain ‘strong blood’ by marrying within families. It still isn’t that outdated, honestly.
My parents share a long look, and I know they must be speaking to one another. It’s not difficult to figure out what they’re saying either. I signed up for this, whatever daughter they may have did not. If they agree, they’re doing the one thing they never wanted: keeping their child from finding love, from choosing love.
“We need to think about it before we decide,” Mom says, breaking eye contact with dad, “but if we agree, you do too? Your daughter Juniper will marry Nyx?”
“Yes,” Tamlin says simply with the wave of his hand, “that’s no problem.”
Anger rises in me at his dismissive tone. How can he care so little about setting his daughter up for an arranged marriage? I tamp the feeling down, though. I can feel my magic rising, and don’t want to lose control in front of anyone.
Mom see’s Tamlin out not long after, promising to send word if they come to a decision, and dad goes to the table at the back of the room to grab a drink. Uncle Az, with his eyes glued to Tamlin until the second he vanishes from our court, plops down in a chair beside me. He doesn't relax, though, until his shadows return to tell him, saying Tamlin is back in his own court.
“What is everyone thinking?” Dad asks, a drink in each hand as he and Mom return to their chairs.
“I understand if you don’t agree to his offer. I’m a willing participant, but whatever daughter you have won’t be,” I say.
“It’s not just our daughter,” Dad says, “maybe we don’t have any daughters, then it’s your daughter in an arranged marriage.”
“I think I’d do it,” I say after a moment's thought. “Maybe that’s selfish of me but-”
“It’s not selfish, Nyx,” Mom says, “you’re trying to unite our courts, that’s the opposite of selfish.”
If only they knew my true reasons. Uniting the courts is just a bonus, really. Would they still agree?
“A part of me thinks we should agree too,” Mom faces Dad as she says it.
“I’m going to get some information on both of Tamlin's sons before you make a decision,” Az says. “If they both seem decent enough to be a good husband, then you can decide what to do.”
With that, we all go our separate ways, winnowing back to Velaris and whatever waits for us there. For me, it’s nothing but a lonely house and a lifeless bedroom.
I barely get any sleep after meeting Nyx, and not just because there wasn’t much night left by the time I got back. Thoughts anxiously filtered in and out of my head before coming back to remind me of themselves again.
Nyx is my mate, it keeps repeating itself over and over. Part of me is thrilled, like any other fae, all I’ve ever wanted is to find my mate. Another part of me, though, hates that my mate had to be the one person I can’t have. And I’m terrified, terrified of how things will change between us.
A small part of me is glad I had the excuse of morning to get away from Nyx. There’s too much to think about without him looking at me with wide, caring eyes. I know he wants to help, but he doesn’t understand my dad. All he knows is happy, perfect parents and a loving family.
At the sound of my bedroom door opening I pull the blankets back from over my head. Martha-my lady’s maid. Shit, I should already be up.
“Your highness! You’re usually halfway dressed by now.”
“Yes, I just slept in.”
“Well, up, up. You’ll be late, and the Highlord already isn’t happy with you.”
I roll out of bed and float toward the vanity. “I’m allowed to attend breakfast? I thought I would surely be grounded another day.”
She just shakes her head and runs the brush through my hair, detangling it but not bothering to put the time into an updo. Quickly, once Martha’s done, I go to the wardrobe and pull out a yellow dress with white flowers at the neck and hemline of the gown. I slip it on and grab white slippers with a small wedge and rush down to the dining room.
Everyone is already seated when I enter, but I don’t think they’ve been waiting long. Oak would have snuck something off the table and be discreetly chewing it if that were the case.
“Sorry I’m late, father.”
“Sleep in?” he asks, and I nod. “Have a late night?”
I tense as I pull out my chair, but make sure my expression is blank as I look up to him and say, “I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep last night. I kept tossing and turning.”
He nods, seeming to accept that answer. “Some people heard movement from your room early this morning.”
He turns away from me and digs into his food, inviting us to do the same as he starts up a conversation with Kai. The rest of the meal goes by uneventfully, and as soon as father dismisses us, I make my way to my bedroom, intent on taking a nap.
When I open the door, though, I immediately know something is off. Not wrong, per se, but different. After scanning the space twice, I stand at the edge of the bed and notice the spread is rumpled. At the same moment that I make the observation, Nyx rolls out from under the bed.
I nearly scream, but before I can, he winnows in front of me and clamps a hand over my mouth. It takes a moment, but once I realize it’s Nyx, I calm down and shove him, causing him to fall back onto my mattress.
He just smirks up at me and gets comfortable. “What are you doing here?” I hiss.
“I missed you,” he says, “I couldn’t stand being away from you.” I soften at his words and take a seat on the edge of the bed.
“You missed me enough to hide under my bed?”
“Of course I did. Plus my parents won’t let me work, so I didn’t have anything to distract myself from you. Not that I tried to look, though.”
“It’s dangerous, Nyx. If someone catches you here, you could be killed.”
“I’m not worried about it,” he says a little too nonchalantly. “I’m masking my scent, and I can easily hide if someone comes in.”
“Nyx,” I say, unsure of this.
“Do you not want me here?”
“Of course, I want you here,” I say honestly, moving closer to lay next to him on the bed. “I’m just worried about you, is all. What if someone hears us talking? We need to come up with a way to tell our parents we’re mates that won’t make them freak out.”
“That’s part of what I need to tell you,” he says, a smirk blooming on his beautiful face. “I’ve come up with a genius plan that will solve all our problems.”
Nyx
“Really?” Juniper asks, enthusiastic as ever.
“Mhmm. We get married.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just sitting there, she stares at me blankly.“Nyx, I love you, I really do bu-”
“Speaking of that,” I say, interrupting her, “you didn’t give me a chance to say I love you too. That’s part of the reason I couldn’t stay away. I need to tell you I love you too, Juniper.”
A blush creeps up her cheeks, and she tries to hide away as a small smile lifts her lips. I can’t help but kiss her. “Nyx. I would love nothing more than to marry you. To have a beautiful wedding and a mating party would be perfect.”
“But?”
“-but we can’t just get married and expect our parents to be okay with it. My father would be pissed. He’d rage war on the Night Court.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on eloping. We have to make the marriage seem like their idea.”
Juniper’s brow furrows for a moment as she thinks it through. “You mean an arranged marriage? Give our parents the idea to settle differences by binding our courts? It’s rare for courts to mix like that.”
“I know. Some BS about mixing powers, but it’s not forbidden, and I don’t think they’ll care about that. If we both get them thinking on the idea, surely someone will bring it up to the other.”
She takes another long moment to mull it over before speaking hesitantly. “Okay, I’m in. But there’s no way I can say something that would make my father consider this plan. He doesn’t talk about court politics with me.”
“That’s alright. I’m sure I can convince my parents of it.”
“Good,” she says and nods. “And you should go and do that soon, but maybe you can just stay here for a little while longer and kiss me.”
A smile comes easily, and I do exactly as instructed and kiss my soon-to-be fiancée.
Juniper
Climbing from bed a short while later, I walk down to the study to look through some of the old textbooks. If I can find something about past arranged marriages with people not in the spring court, maybe dropping a hint about it will get the topic on father’s mind.
I push the thick doors open and quietly make my way to the back in search of the family tree volumes. They usually contain information about the couple's relationship in the margins.
Several minutes later, I’m sitting at a table with several books when Oak pops in out of nowhere.
“I thought I heard someone back here,” he says, plopping down next to me. “What are you reading about?”
“Looking at the family tree. This book is one of the old ones; this lady died over a thousand years ago, and she lived to be 543.”
“Woah,” he murmurs, pulling it closer, he’s always been an ancient history geek.
“This one’s newer,” I say, grabbing another book and opening it back up to where I left off. “This lady is our great-grandma,” I say about one of the females, then point to a dashing portrait of a foreign male further down the page, “he’s pretty isn’t he?”
Oak turns to look and nods slightly before saying, “Kai says I’m not supposed to talk about males like that.” I furrow my brow, and my expression must be questioning enough because he continues. “When he talked to me about sex, he told me I shouldn’t say that stuff about males being hot. He said father would be upset, and I can’t say those things aloud.”
“He told you that?”
“Yes. He was very adamant that I not say things. He seemed nervous that I would, but I don’t know why it even matters. I like girls too, though, so whatever.”
“Hmm.” I don’t know what to say, but Oak doesn’t seem to care. He turns back to the old books and carefully turns the pages again.
Later that night, after finishing my research and leaving Oak to his own devices in the study, I go back to my room to think over everything I read. My thoughts try to stray toward what Oak said because there’s no reason Kai would have said something like that to Oak- his rules are only ever to protect us, but what does that protect Oak from? I refuse to wonder for long, needing my focus on more important matters like uniting our court with the North.
The next day at breakfast I encourage Oak to mention some of the people we were reading about yesterday, and it isn’t that difficult to work in a certain pairing and mention that it was arranged.
“Can you believe that? There were only female heirs, so one of the princesses married a summer court noble, and he became the Highlord.”
“Isn’t that risky?” Oak asks, “what if he had an affair and the next Highlord was a powerless summer male?”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Kai tells him. “The title would pass to her children no matter who the father was. The male’s job was really only to rule until a male heir is born.”
Father grunts agreement, his only acknowledgment to the entire conversation. This is going to be more difficult than I thought.
Hey! Sorry I haven’t posted for Courts of Love and Hate recently. I meant to have several more chapters up by now but I’ve been really sick. I promise to have more up asap
