Jester

Chaotic Evil

[arkham-the-jester]

About

Yes, yes, it’s me! I’m back. Only for Dante and Vergil though.

RULES

Questions are subject to the discretion of the mod meaning, I'm selective with the questions I answer.

Spam is allowed!

Weird questions and other things are fine! Again, I’ll just delete what I feel like deleting.

Don't tell me how to rp or run my rp blog. Let me do what I want in my own creative way.

If you don't like how I interact with you, then don't interact with me any further.

Please don't vent to me. I don't have the mental strength to deal with anything depressing or suicidal. I will reach out to you on my own.

Don't treat him like a doormat or just for someone to use! He’s not an object and I'm not either.

Do not associate me with the dmc rp community!I want no part of it.

DO NOT interact with ongoing conversations. I’m keeping interactions 1 on 1 around here!

Will add more if I have to!

More Information

Fandom: Devil May Cry

Mod: @vyzoi

Jester talks like this

Actions look like this

OOC looks like this

Anons: 🐑✂️

This blog contains dark themes!

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[vickie-is-here]

what if we kill Netflix

[arkham-the-jester]

Too many people! I don’t have the kind of power. But if I inherited the power of Sparda, then I could!

[vickie-is-here]

hrmmm……

[arkham-the-jester]

I’m not going to kill Dante because it’s a wreck and it’s the same cycle over and over again.

I’ll get my way. Through V possibly.

[vickie-is-here]

ok you can get Dante but I draw the line at V

[arkham-the-jester]

It’s not like you talk to V! I could get Cassandra. She is a Sparda now that she married the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

oh my goddddddd stop i literally have book club with him

[arkham-the-jester]

I didn’t know that!

Cassandra it is.

[vickie-is-here]

yeah go after her…she’s lowkey kinda mean but I can’t prove it

[arkham-the-jester]

She’s actually a nice lady. She’s so elegant and formal. Which is probably intimidating to some, but that’s just how she talks! V talks that way too.

But yeah, she’s going to die.

[vickie-is-here]

oh thank god

[arkham-the-jester]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have work to do!

Magically teleports away

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[vickie-is-here]

what if we kill Netflix

[arkham-the-jester]

Too many people! I don’t have the kind of power. But if I inherited the power of Sparda, then I could!

[vickie-is-here]

hrmmm……

[arkham-the-jester]

I’m not going to kill Dante because it’s a wreck and it’s the same cycle over and over again.

I’ll get my way. Through V possibly.

[vickie-is-here]

ok you can get Dante but I draw the line at V

[arkham-the-jester]

It’s not like you talk to V! I could get Cassandra. She is a Sparda now that she married the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

oh my goddddddd stop i literally have book club with him

[arkham-the-jester]

I didn’t know that!

Cassandra it is.

[vickie-is-here]

yeah go after her…she’s lowkey kinda mean but I can’t prove it

[arkham-the-jester]

She’s actually a nice lady. She’s so elegant and formal. Which is probably intimidating to some, but that’s just how she talks! V talks that way too.

But yeah, she’s going to die.

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[vickie-is-here]

what if we kill Netflix

[arkham-the-jester]

Too many people! I don’t have the kind of power. But if I inherited the power of Sparda, then I could!

[vickie-is-here]

hrmmm……

[arkham-the-jester]

I’m not going to kill Dante because it’s a wreck and it’s the same cycle over and over again.

I’ll get my way. Through V possibly.

[vickie-is-here]

ok you can get Dante but I draw the line at V

[arkham-the-jester]

It’s not like you talk to V! I could get Cassandra. She is a Sparda now that she married the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

oh my goddddddd stop i literally have book club with him

[arkham-the-jester]

I didn’t know that!

Cassandra it is.

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[vickie-is-here]

what if we kill Netflix

[arkham-the-jester]

Too many people! I don’t have the kind of power. But if I inherited the power of Sparda, then I could!

[vickie-is-here]

hrmmm……

[arkham-the-jester]

I’m not going to kill Dante because it’s a wreck and it’s the same cycle over and over again.

I’ll get my way. Through V possibly.

[vickie-is-here]

ok you can get Dante but I draw the line at V

[arkham-the-jester]

It’s not like you talk to V! I could get Cassandra. She is a Sparda now that she married the guy.

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[vickie-is-here]

what if we kill Netflix

[arkham-the-jester]

Too many people! I don’t have the kind of power. But if I inherited the power of Sparda, then I could!

[vickie-is-here]

hrmmm……

[arkham-the-jester]

I’m not going to kill Dante because it’s a wreck and it’s the same cycle over and over again.

I’ll get my way. Through V possibly.

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[vickie-is-here]

what if we kill Netflix

[arkham-the-jester]

Too many people! I don’t have the kind of power. But if I inherited the power of Sparda, then I could!

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[vickie-is-here]

same

[arkham-the-jester]

I can kill him temporarily, but Netflix needs him so bad. So they revive him. It sucks!

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[vickie-is-here]

honestly if I was him I’d break the urn to but like….he needs to be stopped

[arkham-the-jester]

I hope Netflix kills him off.

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[vickie-is-here]

She told me one time he broke her dead older sister urn and laughed after he did it

[arkham-the-jester]

What is his problem!?

He’s supposed to evilly funny! He’s nothing like me!

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[vickie-is-here]

she’s literally two faced to cope with her trauma she’s probably only nice to you cuz you’re the only person to not try to beat this shit out of her

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically appears

Probably. We only get together when she wants to kill my counterpart. Seems like she really hates the guy.

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[vickie-is-here]

you look like a tampon

[arkham-the-jester]

I like the Netflix version of you more. She’s nicer to me!

Magically teleports away

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[vickie-is-here]

Ok tampon wow way to make me feel bad

[arkham-the-jester]

What?

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[vickie-is-here]

cries dramatically

PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT….IT HURTS SO BAD

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes her cramps disappear

You could’ve asked me to do this in the first place! Now, none of us have to deal with it!

[arkham-the-jester]

jester my period cramps hurt

Gives you period cramps

-@vickie-is-here

Magically makes his cramps disappear

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Loser.

[arkham-the-jester]

I hate my Netflix version with a passion!

[vickieondaphone]

I’m glad we agree

[arkham-the-jester]

Wait, Vickie has a Netflix version too!?

[vickieondaphone]

yea man they got to me to….gulp

[arkham-the-jester]

Damn…

[vickieondaphone]

yeah and your Netflix version looks like big foot’s fatass toe

because he’s the only decently normal one down here in maki I have to hang out with him but do you realize how INSUFFERABLE he is???? Like I’m trying to eat in the dining hall ALONE and he walks up to me I’m like “oh god no no please not again not again go away I don’t like you” and he sits next to me and tells me I amount to nothing and leaves???? Deadass tf did I do to him 😭

[arkham-the-jester]

I know! He’s horrible! He breaks into my house and pulls out Vergil’s chair! He just poofs in and laughs at me! He’s something.

[vickieondaphone]

If lady don’t do anything about her situationship with Dante it better be she’s killing her dad

I want that man to be stoned to death- NO I WANT THAT THING OF A MAN TO BE STONED TI DEATH I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE IM GOING INSANE NOTHING IS GETTING BETTER FUCK MY LIFE I CANT DO IT ANYMORE

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes Netflix Jester have a heart attack

He should be dead soon. I killed him off.

[vickieondaphone]

make it happen 3 more times.

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes Jester have a heart attack three times in a row

That should do it!

[vickieondaphone]

another one.

do another heart attack

[arkham-the-jester]

Waves magic staff around and makes him have another heart attack

He’s dead!

[vickieondaphone]

do another.

[arkham-the-jester]

I can’t do another if his heart stopped!

[vickieondaphone]

Fine grr

[arkham-the-jester]

He’s dead! That’s the good thing.

[vickieondaphone]

IN FREE

[arkham-the-jester]

WE BOTH ARE!

[vickieondaphone]

YES OH MY GOD YESSS

[arkham-the-jester]

HAZZAH!

[arkham-the-jester]

I hate my Netflix version with a passion!

[vickieondaphone]

I’m glad we agree

[arkham-the-jester]

Wait, Vickie has a Netflix version too!?

[vickieondaphone]

yea man they got to me to….gulp

[arkham-the-jester]

Damn…

[vickieondaphone]

yeah and your Netflix version looks like big foot’s fatass toe

because he’s the only decently normal one down here in maki I have to hang out with him but do you realize how INSUFFERABLE he is???? Like I’m trying to eat in the dining hall ALONE and he walks up to me I’m like “oh god no no please not again not again go away I don’t like you” and he sits next to me and tells me I amount to nothing and leaves???? Deadass tf did I do to him 😭

[arkham-the-jester]

I know! He’s horrible! He breaks into my house and pulls out Vergil’s chair! He just poofs in and laughs at me! He’s something.

[vickieondaphone]

If lady don’t do anything about her situationship with Dante it better be she’s killing her dad

I want that man to be stoned to death- NO I WANT THAT THING OF A MAN TO BE STONED TI DEATH I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE IM GOING INSANE NOTHING IS GETTING BETTER FUCK MY LIFE I CANT DO IT ANYMORE

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes Netflix Jester have a heart attack

He should be dead soon. I killed him off.

[vickieondaphone]

make it happen 3 more times.

[arkham-the-jester]

Magically makes Jester have a heart attack three times in a row

That should do it!

[vickieondaphone]

another one.

do another heart attack

[arkham-the-jester]

Waves magic staff around and makes him have another heart attack

He’s dead!

[vickieondaphone]

do another.

[arkham-the-jester]

I can’t do another if his heart stopped!

[vickieondaphone]

Fine grr

[arkham-the-jester]

He’s dead! That’s the good thing.

[vickieondaphone]

IN FREE

[arkham-the-jester]

WE BOTH ARE!