"Who were you going to say?!"

Gemini | Megatron is my second favorite deception | probably a flamingo in disguise | icon by Kacey!! Twitter : @kaceyphegley

[spiralstaircased]

due to inflation you must answer my riddles five

[zouffle]

due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes

[lesbiancinnabun-deactivated2023]

due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time

[zzzanzzz-deactivated20201124]

old people were right putting ellipses after everything you say actually rules….

[enjorlas]

Official art of the brothers’ character’s in Trolls 2!

[asimovsideburns]

[prinzcake]

she is beauty she is grace

[felderwin]

Best parts of Star Wars are when an alien or a robot or something makes a couple random noises and a person is very genuinely like “yes that’s it exactly thank you”

[faiyx]

when in need of serotonin i recommend stefon 

[carrionkid]

Thinkinge about this tiktok

[carrionkid]

[autotuned] so i go to college and i have the wooorst job on campus. i’m an RA ON CAMPUS and one time at 4:30 in the morning, i get a knock on my door. and someone says to me “there’s a kid dead in the bathroom” and i said “dead in the bathroom?” and he goes “DEAD IN THE BATHROOM” and i said “oh my god” so i walk down the hall and they show me this kid and he looks like he’s DEAD IN THE BATHROOM and so i called the cops and said hey there’s a kid DEAD IN THE BATHROOM

and the cops show up and then the kid wakes up and he starts ~throwing up violently! all over the place!~ and the cop says “we should call an ambulance” and then the kid says “DON’T CALL THE AMBULANCE” and i said “WE SHOULD REALLY CALL THE AM-BU-LANCE”

…… and we didn’t call the ambulance

[extremely quietly] and then the kid gets into a fight with the cop and the cop gives him a hearing notice and then the kid 

[deep sigh] TEARS UP THE HEARING NOTICE IN FROOOOONT OF THE COP

……and this happened at 4:30 in the morning

[brawltogethernow]

*turns off the light*

my cat, who can still see perfectly, watching as I bump into a table: Ah, she has toggled the switch that controls whether she is stupid.

[rahgot]

HORIZON: ZERO DAWN + Random edits 15/??           ↳ All Very Rare/Heavy Outfits

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*finishes a roll of wrapping paper* oh shit free weapon

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bo

[mossworm]

[krillustrate]

A little Shellder I’d drawn up and made it into a pattern which took forever

wallpaper is free to use, not free to sell!

[p-nim]

[novitiate2017-deactivated202002]

you are literally not a better more moral person for pretending you never get angry and you never get mean

[chasekip]

blue shiny pokemon ★☆

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

I like to call my chickens “beasties” or “fat little monster trucks” and other such affectionate terms, but dad seems to take offence whenever I do and always gently refers to them as “the girls,” “the ladies” and sometimes “the dames” when he’s putting them away, like he’s a butler shepherding a group of well-bred country lasses into the parlour for tea 

[sekiss-blog1]

this post evokes such a pleasing mental image that my depression was completely cured for 5 and a half minutes

[insomniac-arrest]

The Onion Headlines as Ghibli films

Spirited Away

Princess Mononoke

bonus:

Castle in the Sky

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

Howl’s Moving Castle

Kiki’s Delivery Service

Ponyo

The Cat Returns

My Neighbor Totoro 

Porco Rosso