articulatus

wife | mama | infp discovering who i am one day at a time.

[articulatus]

i put up a big whiteboard with categorized lists in the main area of my home and it is revolutionizing my life. i’m the worst at everything - and this is making me more capable in small baby steps at everything. 

[articulatus]

in april there will be five boys and one me in my house

[articulatus]

working 2 jobs from home, mothering, wife-ing, home-making, friend-ing, baby growing, remembering self-care, 3 bible studies, always a million books I want/need to read, lists upon lists, all this stuff is way harder than I ever thought. but it’s good too. life today looks so different than 6 months, 1 year, 2 years ago. i couldn’t have imagined!

[articulatus]

guys, i’m procrastinating so hard on something that should have been done two weeks ago and if i had just worked on it like i said i was going to, I’d have a bigger paycheck, and a lot less stress. 

[articulatus]

Last night I found a bunch of writing on an old hard drive of mine and spent way too long reading through it. In college, I spent a lot of time spitting my soul onto the virtual page and I’m really glad I did. A lot of it was messy and dark and sad, but it was a necessary time and some really good words came out of it. Every time I find old writing I’m reminded of how much I wish I were still writing on a regular basis. This is my yearly reminder to myself to start writing again.

[articulatus]

Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

[articulatus]

I kind of miss being on Tumblr, but also I’m overwhelmed by and addicted to all forms of social media so maybe it’s better for me to stay away. I still check up on a handful of blogs but I can never get myself to post anything here. I never feel like I have anything worthwhile to say! Also #momlife when I have free time I mindlessly scroll through Instagram until my baby wakes up. I just don’t understand how it’s basically Christmas and I have a nearly 8 month old child and it’s almost 2017. I’m glad January is coming because it always brings fresh starts but also what the heck I very vividly remember last January and all the good feelings and resolutions I was making and I don’t know how well I really did with it all. But that’s life, and I’m really glad I made it through this year, and I’m really glad for all the amazing good in my life and and I’m really glad I get to wake up tomorrow morning to a fresh day, brand new, and another day after that, and so on. 

[wordsnquotes]

Maybe reading was just a way to make her feel less alone, to keep her company. When you read something you are stopped, the moment is stayed, you can sometimes be there more fully than you can in your real life.

Helen Humphreys, Coventry (via wordsnquotes)

[articulatus]

Pregnancy is pretty amazing, you guys ✌🏻#29weeks #whendidthathappen

[articulatus]

I’ve been getting up at 4:00 with my husband to make him lunch and then have a few hours to myself at the beginning of the day. It’s really nice. I could never do it if we weren’t both getting up but when I have to get up or he won’t have lunch it makes it easier. (I could make it the night before but I like waking up with him). Also waking up to him gently rubbing my back is way nicer than the blaring of the alarm clock. This morning my cat spilled my water cup at like 2:30 though and knocked both of us out of REM sleep so that sucked and now I’m tired instead of refreshed. Also I dreamed that I was having seizures and was unable to verbalize what was happening and I was terrified for the baby and I couldn’t do anything but lay there and then I woke up and was really happy I am ok. Thanks for the vivid dreams, pregnancy.

[articulatus]

I am 27 weeks pregnant! And I now work from home on Thursdays and Fridays. I finally got past my fear and talked to my boss and requested to work part of my time from home and he allowed me two days of my choice other than Tue/Wed (because we have meetings on Tuesdays, and live webinars on Wednesdays). It’s pretty rockin’ so far. A little weird, a little awesome. Really quiet. Normally my husband would be home with me, but he had training today so it was just me all day in my house! I wore leggings and slippers and sat at my dining room table and pretty much I think I should work from home all the time :P 

[thottieauntie-deactivated201604]

Never stop learning about your partner. Never lose that wonder that made you want to get to know them initially because we are constantly growing as individuals.

[articulatus]

I was really craving a Diet Coke during my anxiety filled trip to Target tonight (all shopping/grocery trips are anxiety filled for me) and so I drank one while I was cooking dinner. It was great until now at 12:45 when I can't sleep. I am wide awake thinking about coupons and trying to save more money and budget meal planning and planners and how many loads of laundry I will be doing when the baby gets here and how great it would be to wake up early and do things but that's screwed now and how I don't want to go to work tomorrow and how I wish I could take a train to work instead of driving just to have some time alone with my thoughts that is still productively getting me somewhere. Caffeine never used to affect me this badly. Thanks, pregnancy.

[articulatus]

7 years ago today I submitted my Wheaton application. How has it been that long already?? I never would have thought that I'd be married to that guy I was dating, living in our own house (in the same city as my high school WHAT?!), and pregnant with our first kid by now. Life is crazy and really really awesome.

[articulatus]

p.s. Roof Update

Apparently no roofing companies will do emergency tarping. Probably because of liability. Long story short, I went to the fire station and got about 15 sandbags, then went to Lowe’s and bought a lot of tarps (which by the way, no one offered to help poor sad pregnant lady carry three very heavy tarps back to her car, thanks a lot Lowe’s), and then my husband and his best friend did their best to tarp the roof themselves. My husband also added some caulking to the seams where it was appearing to leak. We had three days of rain and no leakage! (that we could see.)  A roofer will come next week and we will have to spend ~$2500 to have the roof patched up, but this is considerably better than spending ~$18k on a new roof.  Which we totally have just lying around. Hahaha...ha...ha... #adultingishard

[articulatus]

Registering for things is simultaneously the best and worst thing. I remember feeling the same way before our wedding. On the one hand, it’s awesome to put together a list of things you want/need and know that people want to help you out by purchasing some of those items for you. On the other hand, it’s so stressful because you don’t actually know what you need, and there is SO MUCH OUT THERE. There are millions of lists of “Your Baby Registry Must-Haves” and “Things NOT to Register For” and “If You Don’t Put These 10 Things on Your Baby Registry You’re a Bad Mom” and so on and so forth. There’s feeling bad for high priced items, feeling like you’ve listed too many items, feeling like you haven’t listed ENOUGH items, feeling like you’ve listed all the wrong items. There’s 18 brands of each baby thing you “must have” and there’s a million and one reviews of each item saying “This was the worst” followed by “This was the only thing I needed! 5 stars!” For a researcher-mind like me, I get really caught up in and overwhelmed by processes like this. I know that we will only actually NEED a few things and I should just register for the “essentials” and stuff I like and I’ll figure out what works or doesn’t work with time. I think it’s the idea that people will spend their hard-earned money on things that don’t end up working and I will give/throw away things that never get used and can’t be returned and that just kills me. I also don’t want my house to turn into a small Babies R Us because I’m trying to learn how to be more minimalistic and not own so much STUFF.  

[articulatus]

To calm my racing mind last night I doodled a list of things I want to do - in the coming year, in life, in general. Messy handwriting, silly doodles and all. Then, because I was nearing panic attack levels over thinking that I had accomplished absolutely nothing this entire year, I made a list of "2015 things" and listed things I had done this year, whether it was travel, getting pregnant, buying the house, new friendships, a new recipe I learned, etc etc. It really made me feel better. I get really caught up in my head and I don't let it out enough and it leads to a lot of buildup in there that can be frightening and debilitating. So here's to trying to create better habits for myself to let some of the inside out.