刃.

tell  me  this  is  the  end

[artisaen-archived]

#BLOG HAS BEEN ARCHIVED.  can be found on the same URL.

[lumoire-archived]

little update post, i´m not dead; i am just remaking this blog and my other two blogs. felt like i needed a fresh start (though i'm moving over some threads and asks to the other blog). i don't want to rush things, so i'll extend my mini hiatus a bit longer.

[adamant-hearts]

Blade in his 古茗 collab outfit is so gorgeous I had to draw it model photoshoot style 📷✨

Happy 2nd Anniversary HSR!! Two whole years and I’m still down bad for this man (ᵕ,—ᴗ—,)

[apocryphis-a]

He senses it at the same time Blade does - not by way of mara curse or abundance-related senses, meaning that perhaps the Stellaron Hunter is right that they are not the same (he digresses. focus, moze). A flutter of wings, a dark feather falling to the ground as the beast takes flight - crimson eyes staring at the threat, and Moze staring at it through Wuya's attentive gaze. "Tch." He sighs through his nose. How bothersome. "One, two... I count four." His own lips barely moving, he makes a decision. "I'll lure them out. Be ready."

The shadows swallow him immediately; and he moves to his target without deviating from his course, a hawk enshrouded in darkness whose talons, two sharp blades, soon enough pierce through the back of the first of their hidden would-be attackers. His foot rises to find the middle of his victim's back, and unceremoniously shoves him away, blades withdrawing as the body forcefully stumbles out into the street lights.

The rest of the posse immediately moves at the first sign of the commotion. Moze re-emerges from the darkness by Blade's side, wiping one of his blades on his bandaged arm - taking a better look at their assailants. " ... I never stopped looking, you know." He growls under his breath - glaring at the creatures now in full view. No longer human. Halfway beasts, halfway cursed. He'd know those failed experiments anywhere. "But sometimes, it's like they just find me all by themselves. You ready?"

[artisaen-archived]

                       he notes the other's ability,  something strange and unfamiliar.  but there is no time to linger on it.  his hand finds his sword.  a blur of motion,  steel drawn, and a head cleaved clean from its body.  a swift death,  the only mercy he can offer to those who ceased to be human long ago.  once,  he felt no sympathy for them.  creatures of abudance,  nothing more.  but the mara has seeped too deep into him,  intimate,  unrelenting.  not all are fools who bow to that aeon.  a part of him hopes that perhaps one day,  someone might grant him that same swift release.  

                       ❝   they know how to find us,   ❞   not a hivemind like the harmony,  but close.  not mindless beasts.  hatred fuels them.  desire.  anger.  echoes of memory still lingering to what's left.  

                       a nod before his body moves and three mara-struck fall,  cut down in the circle of his blade.  the mara surges within him, whispering to him to kill more.  they fall one by one until his body falters.  a flare.  mara gnawing at him,  dragging him down.  his hand presses against the bridge of his nose,  and his teeth grit.  moze's voice cuts faintly through the haze as a creature lunges for him  —  and then is struck down before it can reach.  his breath steadies.   ❝   thanks,   ❞   he quietly murmurs.  he pulls his blade free of a carcass.  the ground trembles, and a shadow looms over them.   ❝   be on your guard.   ❞   its claws scrape the earth,  its form unrecognizable.   ❝   i'm guessing i don't need to tell you where the weak spot is ?   ❞   no pause for an answer.   ❝   i'll distract it.  get behind it.   ❞   he charges forward as the steel of his blade meets its claw.

[kafkaisms]

“Depends on the sort of person you are - ” Kafka responded dryly, giving the offered coat a shake. “- and the STATEMENT you want to try and make.” There was a crucial difference between them - where Blade was more than happy to forego any notion of fashionability, Kafka always kept her appearance in mind to some degree. It was important when it came to blending in, when it came to portraying one’s own image in a way that would be favourable, in easing doors conveniently open and causing tongues to slip.

But the one redeemable factor was that Blade was never OBSTINATE. Kafka smiled as he acquiesced to her request, and she lingered outside as he disappeared into one of the dressing suites.

“Just as I said, it suits you.” Here she drew closer, hands drifting to the neat collar, tracing down to follow the tailored curve from shoulders to waist. “How does it feel? You’d do well to expand your wardrobe every once in a while.”

[artisaen-archived]

                   out of his element.  trying on clothes had always felt that way.  at least it was only an overcoat and not something more elaborate.  he had never been one to shop.  not as blade,  not as yingxing.  the outfit of the artisan commission had been enough back then.  his current attire is not so different.  a faint hum slips from his lips,  acknowledging her judgement.  if there was one thing he could trust,  it was kafka's sense of fashion.

                   ❝   is there something wrong with my usual outfit ?   ❞   a pause,  followed by a quieter,   ❝   it seems like a waste,   ❞   he ruins clothing more often than he wears it,  and when would he ever have an occasion to wear something more than his go-to outfit?  still,  his eyes narrow slightly,   ❝   but  …  this may be suitable for the next mission.   ❞   a murmur meant for himself mostly.   ❝   i'll get it.   ❞  

                   they walk on.  shelves, racks of fabric until something catches his eye and makes him stop.   ❝   what about that one ?   ❞   a gesture towards a dress reminiscent of that one night at the dinner party.

[onesecondbeforesunset]

I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.

C.S. Lewis

[artisaen-archived]

✉     ⸻     unprompted send by,  @pairidaezah

"You've barely made this place comfortable at all...!" He shouldn't be complaining- being a man on the run certainly can't have been easy. However if there's a place he returns to that he can somewhat call his own, Kaveh thinks it should at least be comfortable- Stellaron Hunter base or no. Hands on his hips, he turns to Yingxing (no, no, it's Blade now even if he doesn't like it) a sullen pursing of his lips that he's pretending isn't a pout on his face. "We're going shopping," he declares, as if they haven't just arrived. It's not like the next script needs Blade any time soon. "Honestly... it's like you don't care about yourself at all...!" Not that it matters anymore, even if he doesn't. That's why Kaveh is here, after all.

                        he should have expected it,  the look on the other's face the moment the door opened into his so-called shelter.  bare walls.  a mattress on the floor.  blankets tossed over it,  evidence of another restless night.  the room had once been furnished,  but nothing remains of him here.  nothing personal.  only one stubborn thing:  a plant pot on the table,  green clinging to life where he barely does.  he almost laughs at the disbelief,  the way kaveh frets as though he only now realised that blade does not care for himself.  shouldn't it be obvious?

                        depression makes the body heavy.  makes the hour blur.  how could he find the will to turn this into a home?  the question hangs in the air:  don't you care about yourself ?  he says nothing.  to answer would be cruel.  to see kaveh's expression fall  …  he spares him that much.  

                        the blond still fusses,  his energy filling the room where blade's silence does not.  and as kaveh heads towards the door,  blade lingers.  a hand running through his hair,  long strands slipping between fingers.  a sigh escapes him.   ❝   …  i'm coming,   ❞   a long day awaits.  futile,  maybe.  but it is almost nice to be fussed over.

[artisaen-archived]

[artisaen-archived]

✉     ⸻     unprompted send by,  @lujidao

❂ = wiping blood off their face . // Lets say from Jing Yuan. u w u

                        it hurts.  he is standing there but not really.  his body is present,  his mind buried deep,  soul kicked into the abyss and locked away.  the mara holds him hostage.  at first,  only glimpses.  voices muffled.  then pain splitting him apart like glass shattering.  a thousand fragments of self.  what happened after his hand touched shuhu's flesh?  he does not know.  only the agony.  only the violence.  the endless tearing of body and spirit alike.  he wants to cry.  but even that release is denied.  

                        time dissolves.  how long has it been?  chain bite his wrists,  keep him in place.  his eyes burn like a candle flame.  blood paints his hands and streak his face.  the newly crowned lieutenant enters.  blade does not respond.  yingxing is gone.  what remains is a beast.  wild and untamed.  

                        an old friend speaks.  not on official duty,  not yet.  if he could speak,  he would apologize.  he would say :  i never wanted this.  he does not regret helping dan feng only the path carved by their choice.  baiheng, dead.  dan feng, imprisoned.  jingliu,  mara-struck.  and yingxing  —  an abomination.  words cannot mend what happened.  even if he had them.

                        a hand reaches out,  wiping blood from his cheek.  faltering halfway,  as though realising that there is nothing left to save.  no comfort to be found.  how he wished for one last night.  all five of then,  together beneath the moon,  cups raised and their laughter carried on by the breeze.

                        but that wish too is denied.  

[prescription-cactus]

good morning God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everybody’s problem

[artisaen-archived]

✉     ⸻     unprompted send by,  @deadrest

"My apologizes. Your soul is tethered by a powerful force. I cannot bring you to rest." To see such raw madness and agony from the other, nearly brings the great banshee to tears. What entity would cause such suffering? "All I can do is ease your pain, or place enchantments upon your person."

                     too good to be true,  to greet death like this.  to be offered the peace he has chased through centuries.  but he knows better,  knows that hope can cut even deeper than the mara.  a sigh leaves him,  shoulders lift before falling again.   ❝   can you at least point me toward the one my soul is tethered to ?   ❞   he knows of the soul bound into his own,  but there is another.  if he could drag down the one who began it all.  would his chains break,  and would he finally be allowed to rest?  he considers logos' offer of having his pain eased.  but his head shakes once.  undeserved.  this suffering is his penance.

                     ❝   i'll pass.   ❞

[artisaen-archived]

oh bladie, you're as beautiful as the first day hoyo forgot about you

[soarien]

blad

[cheriafreya]

Beautiful Blade for @eliseliedl ♥ (❛ε❛⋆)

[artisaen-archived]

✉     ⸻     a meme i reblogged ages ago send by,  @heavnsreign

▄ = telling them a joke . // Also from Jing Yuan. This could even be the au but regardless it’s probably a really lame joke.

                     despite his claims,  blade saw how separation had scarred jing yuan.  obvious from the first day they met  :  the smile was there,  but it never reached his eyes.  at first yingxing had thought to ask,  but it felt wrong,  too forward.  back then he was still a stranger in the other's life.  slowly,  jing yuan opened up.  text messages exceeding far into late hours.  fragments of confessions stitched into written words but never spoken aloud.  it is easier to bleed on a screen than speak of the hurt aloud.  blade always answered,  no matter the hour.  not just out of friendship but because he owed him for all the times jing yuan entertained his foolish ‘hear me out’ followed by an idea bordering on disaster.   

                     after food arrives,  he lifts the paper straw to his lips.  the taste of syrup lingers,  sweet  &  faint,  as he listens to jing yuan attempt at a joke.  it does not land.   ❝   …   perhaps you should leave the jokes for another time.   ❞   preferably never.  a hand rests briefly on jing yuan's shoulder,  not in comfort,  but something adjacent.   ❝   but i'd suggest you think of something to say to him soon.  he'll be here any minute for our shared project.   ❞

                     panic flickers in jing yuan's eyes.  blade is not the type to lie.  blade is not the type to joke.  &  yet he lets the silence linger,  just long enough to watch him squirm.  perhaps it was the only way he knew how to say it  :  confess.   tell sunday how much he still means to you.   ❝   it was a joke,   ❞   he states dryly.   ❝   just tell him.  better to tell the truth than to live a lie.   ❞   &  remain trapped in endless what-ifs. 

                     blade only wants one thing  :  for his friend to stop hurting himself.  

[cosmicwar]

milf (man i’d like to find a therapist for)

[pairidaezah-a]

"𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖," 𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐋𝐘, "that my intelligence always ended up secondary to my emotions." It was one of his greatest strengths, as a person... and one of his greatest faults as well. Kaveh's empathy was something that made him capable of connecting with and understanding the needs of those requesting projects he designed for. It made him a good friend, and an excellent apprentice.

But it also made him impulsive, irrational and prone to making terrible decisions out of sentiment alone.

"Nonsense," Kaveh murmurs, and it's a soft, almost dangerous thing, the way the word passes his lips, like a razor gliding across silk. "Just because I want to take care of you doesn't mean I think you should stay alive. Stay suffering." His fingers crawl upward, making a trellis of his spine, and sift into the hair at the nape of his neck, curling and tugging lightly, gently. "I will take care of you until you self-destruct, Yīngxīng. Or until I can find a way to drag this infestation out of us both. Whichever happens first."

His smile is too gentle- devastatingly so, considering what he's saying. Speaking of their possible future demise in the same tone one might describe a sweet dream. However when their existence, this long past the span of what they were meant to be, can be considered something akin to a nightmare, then what else is death but a well-earned rest?

Lips find the tip of his nose, the slope of his brow, and Kaveh tilts his forehead against his afterward, still smiling.

"Doesn't having someone who can see this through with you- who you are, who you were- sound good?"

[artisaen-archived]

                     when his mind had still been whole  —  when he was someone else entirely,  he thought kaveh's empathy to be their greatest trait.  something he,  as yingxing,  had cherished.  but he is no longer yingxing.  he is blade.  and now,  that same tenderness pressed against him feels less like a virtue and more like a blade pressed against his throat.  he wants the other to cease their actions,  to stop this farce.  he is undeserving of any kindness thrown his way, and yet people still insist that he is worth something like this.   ❝   i wonder if it is you or i who has truly lost it at this point,   ❞   blade deflects,  his arms crossed over his chest whilst looking away.  he never wanted this.  he never wanted this for kaveh.  to make the same mistake he made.  he does not know how to handle this.  the thought of someone taking care of him and staying by his side while he attempts to court death at every junction is not something he had ever been prepared for.

                     he hates how the touch makes him feel.  the touch is far too gentle,  too kind for someone like him.  tainted with blood that can never be washed away.  the whisper of the mara whispering in his ear, telling him he is not deserving of such kindness, and he believes it.  because he is not deserving of this,  not anymore.   ❝   cease this futility,   ❞   he demands calmly,  but there is an edge to his voice that almost betrays the emotion simmering within.  a part of him that he thought he had shut off ages ago.  no matter how empty he pretends to be,  he feels perhaps the most of all.   ❝   you think you're offering me a kindness,  but you are not.   ❞   it is the right thing to do what kaveh is doing,  but for blade it is terribly cruel.   ❝   i wish to close my eyes permanently.  i wish to do so alone.   ❞   seeing the other there would only fill him with more regret.  he would not be able to close his eyes that way.