Art of Liliana

The beautiful, the insane, the dark, the lies, the melodious, the hush. The world as I see fit.

[artofliliana]

Saw these girls while I was in Mesa the other day and I just fell in love with them. I'm upset that I didn't think to look for the artist or the name of the piece, but they almost felt just like people. This is the feeling, right after you finish a day's worth of work and you want to go home.

[artofliliana]

I've been thinking about shame for a good long while now and what most people I've read seem to have accepted is that shame dies in the light. Shame isn't an internal feeling, shame is the weight of society applied to something you think they won't approve of. It is not the result of your own internal values, but the result of theirs. Shame is different from guilt. Guilt lets you know when you think you've done something wrong according to what's important to you. Guilt is a useful guide, while shame is increasingly useless. The quickest way to get rid of feelings of shame is to expose the thing you are ashamed about. Most of the time, that thing loses power because you are no longer afraid.

[artofliliana]

Marker studies in my sketchbook. I've weirdly started to like markers recently. I find them very low pressure because they are permanent. I can't erase something and fiddle with it for a long time. I have to set the mark down and live with it. There are marks that I immediately regret, but there's nothing I can do but move on.

Can you recognize the painting from the Phoenix Art Museum? 😂

[artofliliana]

Today is a studio day. The studio is often an intimidating place. Sometimes I find myself avoiding studio work, doing other things that need to be done but are easier. The studio beckons with unmet dreams and skills that aren't as good as I'd want them to be. It's a place of reckoning.

[artofliliana]

Sometimes you lie awake staring at the ceiling, thinking about the choices you've made in your life, wishing you could go back to sleep.

[artofliliana]

Painted flowers on a handmade plate. This plate is still waiting to be fired in the kiln so it doesn't look exactly how it will when it's finished. I'm a little nervous and a little excited by the unpredictability of ceramics. I can only do so much, but the glazes and the kiln decide the rest.

[artofliliana]

I am a master peace thief. My mind constantly works every angle of every decision I make. I am on a journey to quiet my mind.

I've recently read that this is something you must practice. Stillness does not come naturally to the human mind, but there cannot be peace without stillness. Being still is one of the biggest personal revolutions you can have. If you fortify your mind against yourself, you will not let others affect you so easily.

[artofliliana]

There are a couple ways I've discovered to get over the fear of a new sketchbook. 1. Don't start on the first page. Usually that first page feels so momentous because it's the introduction to the rest of the art. Take the pressure off yourself and start in the middle of your sketchbook. 2. Have multiple sketchbooks! If you only have one you feel that every page has to be a masterpiece and you might not allow yourself to explore, which is what a sketchbook should be about. I have taken Frannerd's idea of having an "ugly sketchbook." Practice goes in there and everything more solid goes in my other sketchbooks. 3. Don't feel like everything has to be a finished masterpiece. Maybe one day you will go back and finish it, but it's also ok for that piece to live as just an idea barely set on a page.

[artofliliana]

I have so many projects that are in progress that sometimes I wonder when I'll ever finish anything. This feeling comes from the fact that for the longest time I wasn't allowing myself to work on anything that would take more than a few days. Being an artist on social media teaches you that you need to produce something new and original constantly but that prevents you from taking your time and allowing yourself the time to create something deep. These projects may feel uncomfortable now, but I think that means I'm on the right track.

[artofliliana]

Don't let your days be guided by what you NEED to do, be guided by what you WANT to do. One day your light will blink out of existence and will it matter if you didn't wash enough clothes? Those things need to be done, but plan those things around the things that make you happy, not the other way around.

[artofliliana]

Evening studies. It feels a little bit like homework 😅

[artofliliana]

29 years old today!

Seems like an impossible number. But in the grand scheme of things it's also so small.

I just wish to have many more years to eat yummy food and hang out with funny, weird people. In the end, that's what life is about right?

[artofliliana]

A study I did of an oil painting. Markers have never been my go to media but I found myself enjoying the process. It doesn't look anything like the original, but I loved seeing the changes that my medium demanded.

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[artofliliana]

Somebody asked me what present I was most excited to receive on Christmas and I couldn't answer at the time, but I think the answer now is this cart. It's so useful for having a painting station with all my paints and materials. It's also got wheels so I can move it around and it's foldable so I can put it away when I'm not working on a painting. I'm in love 😍

[artofliliana]

2022 Self portrait. This year I really want to work on expressions, lighting, and loosening up my style. Here's to getting closer to my goals!

[artofliliana]

Last post of the year! My top 5 books of 2021. It's hard to decide which go on the list because sometimes I rate other books higher at the time, but in the end other books leave a bigger impact. This year my favorites (in no particular order) were:

1. "So You've Been Publicly Shamed." I'm never going to think about shame the same way after this book.

2. "The Magic Fish." The art is stunning and it has LGBTQ and Asian representation. Mostly, I just really identified with it as a daughter of immigrants.

3. "Digital Minimalism." Such a life changer. I think this is one of the books I'll reread yearly to remind myself to lay off the electronics.

4. "Black Sun." Amazing fantasy book. The world building and mythology are so fresh and dark and gritty. Can't wait to get to the sequel.

5."White Chrysanthemum." This made the list because of how traumatizing it was 🤣 An insightful book about a particular moment in Korean history that not many of us know about.

Also, I did reproduce these covers myself. As a person who wants to work on book covers, I found the practice fun and I learned a lot! Fonts are hard!

[artofliliana]

I realized that I've gotten lazy with the basics. My knowledge of facial structure is limited and I can't draw well without references. In school we used to study from life and models, but now that I've graduated I feel that every piece I make has to be a finished product. I've pushed studies aside and it shows. I want to take a moment to commit to reintroducing studies into my practice. The only way we can continue to grow is if we never stop thinking of ourselves as students.