Itâs the only thing I know || Ryan&Tee
A part of her should have felt bothered, having to constantly prop herself up in front of a person that seemed hell-bent on protecting her but, then again, how could she fault him when she was constantly falling apart in front of him? She supposed she couldnât really blame Ryan for thinking she was fragile, although sheâd much rather call it having reached past her breaking point. Crying, though, it was still one of her least favorite experiences.
Her eyes met his, unflinching, a small wave of gratitude washing over her as he smiled. That was one thing she could count on, more often than not. Someone like Ryan should always be seen smiling. âYeah,â she agreed, having lost touch with reality for a few seconds there while he held her, quickly giving a shake of her head. âI mean, thanks.â One of her hands squeezed around his waist, then, giving herself a more physical crutch so she could try and not stumble in front of the cameras.
It was what the tv show was for after all, wasnât it? Finding people at their most vulnerable, their most exposed. Then showcasing it on a worldwide network, and letting strangers pick them apart. âI might hold on to your pants so you donât leave,â she let out, perhaps more abruptly than necessary. Her cheeks colored, although she would blame that on the crying if he asked. Thinking of a half-naked Ryan, or thinking of undressing him, was not called for given their current status. They hadnât reached that point again yet.
âIâmâŚâ she paused, gaze focused on the doors instead of him, voice lowered so any housemates loitering about couldnât overhear. âBeen worse. Your⌠You, here⌠it helps?â Tee pursed her lips, trying to add more reassurance to her words. âIt helps,â she repeated, then, glancing up at him. âWouldnât say no to⌠not talking yet, though.â
Because, if she had to come out with it at some point â and she really did, as her therapist had pointed out repeatedly â sheâd rather not let everything happen when she felt so vulnerable, when Ryan might be put in the uncomfortable position of not wanting to cause her any more distress. Or, to put it in less words, sheâd rather get through everything without crying in front of him. Rip the band-aid off more easily. âYou should talk instead, maybe. Find us some blankets. A clean spot somewhere.â
It was beyond confusing, and if anyone asked, Ryan didnât have a clue what was happening right now. Very little was making sense to him and the pieces werenât at all clear in his mind. What he did know was what was happening now. He knew that Tee was still in his arms, and that despite the fact she had randomly broken down crying while making out (he was still wrapping his head around that one too) she was still there. That was surprisingly more than theyâd ever had before, so he happily took what he could get. âDonât seat it.â He murmured near her ear, pulling her closer as they began their trek back inside the house. The cameras moving around then to continue to follow them without getting in the way.
He chuckled softly at Teeâs next comment. âI canât say Iâd mind that.â He didnât mean for the line to come out as forward as it did. Was it too much, would it be if Tee set the level that high to begin with? He didnât know where the line wasâ he never did, but he was trying to let her guide him with this. While he knew for sure that he didnât want to come across as just trying to get in her pants, he was still really into her and he couldnât help that slipping through. He was expressive and while he didnât always say much when he did he usually meant what he said.
Been worse, that wasnât as reassuring as she hoped. He hated that sheâd been worse, especially since the statement implied she still wasnât okay now. âIâm glad I can help. I want to help you, in any way I can.â He was being honest, all heâd ever wanted to do was help her. To be the guy that made her smile and glow. She was a sight to behold that way.
He stayed quiet as she tried to gather her thoughts and explain what she wanted. âOkay, I can do that.â He took her by the hand, building her through the house while they snuck around quietly so as not to disturb or alert their housemates. He pulled her to a quiet corner of a room not being used, tossing away clutter to find them a nice spot to settle down against a few throw pillows. âHow about right here?â He asked, pulling a blanket off the couch so they could snuggle up against each other nicely. He pulled the drapes and cracked open the window so they could get the sea breeze and a nice view.
âWe donât have to talk, I know you donât want to.â He told her, taking her by the hands and pulling her onto the couch with him. We can just sit here if you want, stay in each others arms. I think Iâd like that, if you would?â














