Vent art, but based around an old concept of voices turned into personas. Went back to check the post, and the descriptions are scarily accurate to current emotions and personas I've had
There was Nega and Posi which stands for the negative and positive thoughts, Logic that will shut up negative thoughts through facts, Craze that represented the wild and chaotic, with a dog-like guy called Curiosity meant to represent the "joy of finding new things". Some things changed from then.
Logic is an old friend, giving facts and details and basically regurgitating information. It's also my mask, where I know what must be done to seem normal and how to interact with the world, which is also there in my old art! But I've been pushed to the limit. And everything scrapes at them. Tired of rationalizing why it's fine and ok and good, tired of not having the facts needed to counter, they've proceeded to just SHUT everything up around them to have a neutral background. Can't be happy, but can't be sad. No emotional roller coaster.
Which is why I couldn't draw "craze"'s face lately, although I now realised that it's just my internet personas face. Bright orange hair flying into the air, and hands always covered like a straight jacket, those elements have always been there when I tried to draw them. Logic is as much a chain as creativity, but self imposed from social norms. Explaining all this is a logic thing, too. Lol.
Curio, the dog part, is more like the brain grabbing hold of something and shaking it vigorously. Specifically that when doomscrolling. It chases after things that interest, still, but doesn't latch on to important things like work. Honestly, they're the "attention" part of my brain. Truly annoying to work with because I genuinely cannot do work if not in the right circumstances. Which absolutely sucks. ADHD be like
Nowadays Nega and Posi is more toxic in my head... Thoughts goes from "I can do this" to "I can't do it" to "I'm QUALIFIED for it" to "no one sees your quality" and loops on and on and sometimes worsens. It can start off with positive thoughts of "I am a good person" and being rushed with feeling like a fraud
I've been seeing plural systems everywhere cause their comics are cool, so I've truly thought if I was plural because of this? But I've not gotten any trauma strong enough to warrant a split I think (at least, nth that will get the authorities involved) although ik there are really painful, core memories that make my choices.
