Nothing to see here

[charlesoberonn]

New superhero: Crime Man.

He stops crimes exclusively by comitting crimes. He out-crimes the criminals.

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

The Punisher does this and the crime is murder

[charlesoberonn]

The Punisher doesn’t stop crime, he punishes criminals. Big difference. Crime Man is more proactive than that.

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

So what you really mean is like. A totalitarian government that profiles people and arrests them before they commit crimes (which is a crime)

[charlesoberonn]

No, it’s more like stopping a credit fraud from happening by comitting arson.

[mr-elementle]

*A mugger threatening me with a knife* Give me your money! *Crimeman appearing from the darkness with a bigger knife* NO CRIMINAL! You give me YOUR money!

[sudokobitch-blog]

I love the efforts to get deeply analytical and political but op just shuts them down with no crime man does CRIME

BUT BETTER

[ijustlaughalot]

Visit Original Link

[thenarddog]

[createdd]

I will never understand why this Christmas song goes so hard.

[constantlycomic]

OKAY MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP

BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT CAROL OF THE BELLS

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE/SARAJEVO 12/24 AND IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN CAROL OF THE BELLS.

so during the bosnian war (which was this nasty-ass conflict in bosnia and herzgovina) there was this badass cello-playing motherfucker named vedran smailovic. He was from Sarajevo, was upset about all the shit and nastiness that came about through this war (this was full-on brother-killing-brother shit!) that he went around to bombed-out, blown up buildings and funderals––where he was at risk of FUCKING SNIPER FIRE––and playing the cello. This guy was so set on providing one tiny spot of beauty in a seriously nasty war he was risking being fucking SHOT OR BLOWN UP.

AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO INSPIRED THIS SONG.

He’s why there’s the calm cello part at the beginning before everything gets all violent-sounding. It’s THEMATIC.

THAT’S WHY THIS CHRISTMAS SONG GOES SO FUCKING HARD.

[breelandwalker]

Knowing and understanding history makes everything better. :)

[rosietheamazon]

My goosebumps are like knives

[acolorblue]

Chance The Rapper plays the original version of ‘Waves’ he made for Kanye.

[almorosa-deactivated20170822]

Kanyes such an idiot

[andreajaq]

Glad Kanye kept Chance off.

[jehovahhthickness]

^^^^

[nentindo-deactivated20210501]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

not taking any chances

[weavemama]

trump: *puts his hand on the bible during his inauguration*

god:

[saintdollyparton]

Sometimes I remember Melissa Benoist was born in Texas and I’m like, “Yes… I claim her.” Something else we did right besides Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce.

Jeremy Jordan and Mechad Brooks are also from Texas, actually. That Supergirl cast, though!

[elliesgaymachete]

unrelated to Supergirl but Demi Lovato is also from Texas and she’s fantastic

[saintdollyparton]

I was going to add this later!

Also Lindsey Morgan and Candice Patton.

[blaqpanther]

Sarah Shahi

[saintdollyparton]

YES! How could I forget her?!

I worked with a girl who went to school with her.

Amy Acker is also from Texas. Both parts of Shoot!

[luvbey]

I’m so sensitive you could literally text me in a different tone and I’ll get sad

[maurypovichofficial]

I hope 2017 has a boy waiting for me that won’t waste my time

[jollityfarm]

please get me these pants, because i want pepe the frog to carry the weight of my fucking sins, as if he were some kind of peasant i hired so my royal feet needn’t touch the ground

[localrose-deactivated20170126]

*blows a kiss to myself in the mirror* you’re gonna do better in 2017

[sunkingdoms-deactivated20170403]

the last of the 90s kids turn eighteen in 2017 so it’s time to become….. 90s adults

[tytranosaurusrex]

becoming an adult is essentially having all your friends in different cities and permanently missing someone

[zackancodeine]

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.

[noranbit-deactivated20180511]

Chaotic Good Boy

[windowgaze-blog]

[officialwhitegirls]

when youre in an argument and they start stuttering

[bratlincelebrini]

you: candle in the wind, elton john

me, an intellectual: 5000 candles in the wind, andy dwyer

[artaline]

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

[alivesmilinggirl]

Human: *is eating ice cream*

alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!

human: well, you see, not with this food

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

This one is already vibrating at he desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box.

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

Human: *just reheated pizza in the oven*

Other human: *is eating a slice of the same pizza, but cold*

Alien: *exasperated sputtering*

[ritavonbees]

Human: shots! shots! shots!

Alien: this liquid has negligible nutritional value and, furthermore, contains some molecules that I believe are poisonous to your species.

Human: …look, sometimes we just like to gather in social groups and disorient ourselves

[lockmancapulet-deactivated20200]

Human: *puts hot fudge on ice cream*

Alien: “You put so much time and effort into making both of those vibrate at just the right frequencies, and now you’re just gonna…?”

[stickoutsectionleader-deactivat]

Human: *eats salty foods*

Alien: No! Those elements are both toxic why are y-

Human: Chill out, it’s just table salt.

[honourinrevenge]

The voice of reason, Rosa Diaz.