Why is no one talking about how horny Edward is because Bella knows where things are in her own kitchen?

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Why is no one talking about how horny Edward is because Bella knows where things are in her own kitchen?
turns out king petty taking bella to rio for their honeymoon had a lot less to do with isle esme and everything to do with sticking it to mike yet again
"Ha, ha, ha," Stephenie laughed, all the way to the bank.
@twilightphasepodcast
If you like Twilight...
Twilight stans! We’re always looking for our next read, and we’re sure you are too. We’ve compiled a list of alternatives to the Twilight Saga in an effort to find some new unproblematic faves. This list includes both recent/upcoming werewolf and vampire novels, as well as ownvoices stories from indigenous creators (both genre and contemporary); most are YA, but not all. We haven’t read all of them, so this is just a starting point for your TBR. Please report back on how they are! As a reminder, please support your local library or independent bookstore, or check out Bookshop.org. And, this isn’t at all a definitive list, so feel welcome to add on!
In truly no order:
The Beautiful
by Renée Ahdieh
Published Oct 8, 2019
New York Times bestselling author Renée Ahdieh returns with a sumptuous, sultry and romantic new series set in 19th century New Orleans where vampires hide in plain sight.
The Marrow Thieves
by Cherie Dimaline
Published Aug 1, 2019
Humanity has nearly destroyed its world through global warming, but now an even greater evil lurks. The indigenous people of North America are being hunted and harvested for their bone marrow, which carries the key to recovering something the rest of the population has lost: the ability to dream.
Vampires Never Get Old: Tales with Fresh Bite
Anthology ed. by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker
Publishing Sept 22, 2020
Eleven fresh vampire stories by YA authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley.
Lobizona
by Romina Garber
Publishing Aug 4, 2020
An undocumented immigrant discovers a world straight out of Argentine folklore, where the seventh consecutive daughter is born a bruja and the seventh consecutive son is a lobizón, a werewolf.
Apple: Skin to the Core
by Eric Gansworth
Publishing Oct 6, 2020
The term “Apple” is a slur in Native communities across the US. It’s for someone supposedly “red on the outside, white on the inside.” Eric tells his story and shatters that slur, reclaiming it in heartbreaking verse and prose and imagery.
Fledgling
by Octavia Butler
for adults; published Sept 8, 2005
Seminal, foundational, visionary Black genre author Octavia Butler’s last novel. This is the story of an apparently young, amnesiac girl whose alarmingly un-human needs and abilities lead her to a startling conclusion: she is in fact a genetically modified, 53-year-old vampire.
The Fell of Dark
by Caleb Roehrig
Publishing July 14, 2020
Auggie Pfeiffer is a gay 16-year-old who lives in a decaying Chicago suburb with a vampire problem. When strange things start happening to Auggie, he harbors the hope that he’s been mystically chosen to slay vampires…but things aren’t all what they seem.
Tantalize
by Cynthia Leitich Smith
Published February 13, 2007
“Looking for something to read that will make your TV jealous? TANTALIZE has it all — hot vampires and wolf-boys, a super-cool heroine in cowboy boots, nail-biting suspense, romance, chills ’n’ thrills, and Austin, Texas. What more could you want?” — Libba Bray, author of A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY and REBEL ANGELS
Hearts Unbroken
by Cynthia Leitich Smith
Published Oct 9, 2018
Winner of an American Indian Youth Literature Award New York Times best-selling author Cynthia Leitich Smith turns to realistic fiction with the thoughtful story of a Native teen navigating the complicated, confusing waters of high school — and first love.
I want y'all to comment on the weird original UK Twilight cover with like a ghostly looking girl in front of some lockers
Y'alllllllllll whattttttttt??
She looks like Coraline cosplaying as the Other Mother dear sweet jesus fuck.
@a-sucker-for-rosalie @bellaswanandleahclearwater4eva
oh noooo is this real?!?! the first thought that came to my mind was if tall girl (netflix) was goth lmao imagine that stalking down the hallway 💀
Not to be rude but what the actual fuck?
Apparently there’s also a New Moon UK Cover 🌚
OH NO IT GOT WORSE
… and why does she have short hair??? excuse me @stepheniemeyer i have more questions
Okay just this ONE time something isn't SMeyer's fault!!!! Hard to believe, but I promise she had negative amount of input in these covers. (Listen to the podcast, we'll chat about about it next episode!!!)
Can't wait to hear all your thoughts!
I can't believe that somehow that cover convinced me to read this book in 2005
Absolutely gutted to find out this scene was filmed but deleted
Even more disappointed that they didn’t even think to include the best line of the whole exchange:
Life and Death was released in 2015, Twilight's 10th anniversary. Now Midnight Sun is being released in 2020, the 15th anniversary. Is SMeyer going to keep blessing us every five years???
i cant believe i have to fucking buy a twilight book in 2020
LOVE NEVER DIES: The Infamously Horrible Phantom Of The Opera Fanfiction Made By The Actual Damn Andrew Lloyd Weber is on youtube for 48 hours starting from today, 4/24/2020 at 7pm UK time.
Guys. This musical. Is so bad. It’s hilariously bad. The music? Actually pretty good, Andrew Lloyd Weber knows how to write bops. The story? SO BAD, YOU GUYS.
First of all, it’s set in America, on Coney Island. The Phantom of the Opera lives in Coney Island now and he runs an amusement park. Yes, this is an actual sequel to the actual original musical by the person who wrote it. Christine shows up. Meg Giry shows up. A horribly mischaracterized Raoul and Madame Giry show up. Evil clowns show up. Meg Giry does a striptease. The best song of the musical is the Phantom trying to convince a ten-year-old that he’s cool.
DO NOT SIT ON THIS. CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULES. CANCEL YOUR CALLS. YOUR EVENING PLANS ARE NOW ALL CHANGED. THIS IS NEVER GOING ON BROADWAY. IT BARELY WENT ON STAGE. YOU MAY NEVER GET THIS CHANCE AGAIN.
WATCH LOVE NEVER DIES AND DIE A LITTLE INSIDE, BUT IN A HILARIOUS WAY.
THE SUNSTROKE PROJECT IS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR IN THIS BLEAK TIME. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME TO WASH MY HAND AND STAY AT HOME I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
I was at the coffeeshop in the village and someone asked me how my llamas are doing, and a woman overheard and told me that when she was a kid, her parents used to have a couple of llamas in their sheep farm, and every single sheep in their flock imprinted on one of the two llamas. Each sheep chose the best most charismatic llama according to mysterious sheep criteria, and never wavered in their ovine loyalty. Each of the two llamas was worshiped by a small sub-flock of devoted sheep who followed him everywhere like Jesus’s apostles and only left their field for transhumance when led by “their” llama. The funniest thing is the way this woman overheard the word “llama” and immediately came to sit next to me to tell me this, like she had waited since childhood to share her bewilderment about the two religious congregations of sheep led by rival llama prophets in her family farm.
Carlos playing Cards Against Humanity
I am so sorry Spain, your song was a bop and you deserved so much better
THEY SAW THE OPPORTUNITY AND THEY TOOK IT !!!
I'm not prepared for Sweden to win. Because if they win, they'll equal Ireland's Eurovision record. And that is our last stronghold of our former glory
Come on Italy and Salt Bae