_asdfghjklnicole.

24 | College | Filipino | NYC

[asdfghjkllnicoleeeee]

SDCP

It doesn’t really help that your name is so unique. My hands shake each time your name comes across my timeline.

[asdfghjkllnicoleeeee]

2 years ago | I thought I knew exactly where I was going, and that everything I planned for my future would pan out the way I wanted. Boy, was I wrong. We all make our plans for the future based on our hearts deepest desires - and that's exactly what I did, and kept doing. However, God was always there to remind me that His plan for me was far greater than anything I could imagine. Yes, there were days when I got so overwhelmed with juggling all my responsibilities I didn't think I could handle it.. instances when I've felt like a failure and didn't know who to turn to.. times when my self-esteem had sunken so low I didn't want to look in the mirror.. moments when my heart broke into so many pieces I didn't know if it could be whole again. But those were the times that brought me closer to God. Here I am now, 4 weeks away from graduation, thankful for everything. Because when I felt I was at my weakest point, He made me stronger.

[asdfghjkllnicoleeeee]

05072017

It kinda sucks how sometimes, it feels like it’s so easy to forget about me. I know each guy I’ve ever dated hates it when I compare them to one another. I mean who would want that. But given that I guess I have a particular “type” that I’m attracted to, there’s just so much similarities between them. One of which seems to be that once they’re done with me, it’s always so easy for them to forget about me. Forget everything we’ve been through. All of the sweet memories. All of the promises. How close we once were. It’s so easy for them to move on. But why is it always so hard for me? I end up falling so hard, loving so much, and getting hurt so badly, yet I’m the one who has so much difficulty moving on. Especially when it comes to you.

SDCP,

Alam kong dapat galit ako sayo. In fairness, dapat kitang kamuhian dahil sa sakit na dinanas ko dahil sayo. Ang sakit sakit na. Paminsan di ko talaga kinakaya. Lalo na’t sabay sabay yung mga problema na dinadanas ko sa school, sa pamilya, sa mga kaibigan, paminsan pati na rin sa mga tungkulin. Parang walang nakakaintindi sakin. Kahit ilang beses kong ulit-ulitin sa kung sinumang may gustong makinig, parang bale wala lang, kasi di ko masabi sayo kung ano yung nararamdaman ko ngayon. Sa totoo lang, di ko na rin alam kung ano nararamdaman ko eh. Kung masakit ba, o baka manhid na ako. Nung minsang lapitan kita kasi parang nawawalan na ko ng pag-asa dahil sa dami ng problema, feeling ko parang pinagtabuyan mo lang ako. Di mo manlang tinanong kung gusto kong pag-usapan. Tinanong mo kung kamusta na ko, pero nung sinabi kong nahihirapan na ko, sabi mo lang, “kaya mo yan.” Yun lang. Ewan ko ba kung dahil nakahanap ka na ng iba, o talagang wala ka nang gustong may kinalaman sakin... Bakit? bakit ganun? May nagawa ba akong mali sayo? Nagkulang ba ako? Naging masama ba akong tao sayo? Bakit imposible na maging magkaibigan tayo? Ni ikaw nga mismo nagsabi na sana maganda parin yung pakikitungo ko sayo pagkatapos nating maghiwalay, pero ikaw etong kusang lumalayo sa tuwing gusto kong lumapit. Pasensya na kung naging inappropriate ako minsan, lalo na nung huling matino nating pag-uusap. Basta alam mo na yun. So yeah, nung huli kitang tinext, nag sulat ako ng napakahabang text explaining kung ano yung nasa isipan ko mula nung sinabihan mo akong “gusto ko na makalimutan yung nakaraan.” Pero di ko na sinend. Siguro hanggang dito nalang ako pagdating sayo. Dito ko nalang ilalabas yung sama ng loob ko. Baka naman ako rin, maka move-on na sa pagmamahal ko sayo. Baka ako rin, makalimutan na rin kita, tulad ng pagkalimot mo sakin.

[coral]

[asdfghjkllnicoleeeee]

😊 #calligraphy

[alsudairy8-deactivated20170616]

[hplyrikz]

[hplyrikz]

[danger]

[honeydewleaf-deactivated2017123]

so… i accidentally cared for 2 minutes and now i’m gonna be sad for at least three weeks lmfao

[hplyrikz]

I can relate to this

[hplyrikz]

I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.

(via

hplyrikz

)

[hplyrikz]

The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Ritu Ghatourey (via hplyrikz)

[hplyrikz]

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (via

hplyrikz

)

Clear your mind here

(via hplyrikz)

[oofpoetry]

Sometimes, I’m the mess. Sometimes, I’m the broom. On the hardest days, I have to be both.

Rudy Francisco (via t0shibainu)

[thecraziestcunt]

[mypoembook]

Quality Life Everyday

[hplyrikz]

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.”

Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince (via hplyrikz)