elevated thoughts; a sense sublime @asensesublime - Tumblr Blog

I don’t know

I just don’t feel well

wildbookblr

pms and overwhelm don’t mix

inkflowergarden

It’s time for a shift in perspective.

amargedom

“Fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely.”

—

i just want somewhere i can be me

overwhelmed

coltre

car wash paolo raeli

estrellablogg

Forever in love with daisies🍃

glowplease

tkkatherineblog

lately I’ve just felt the need to write; I just need somewhere to share my thoughts in order to reflect. for some reason, keeping my thoughts buried in a google doc doesn’t work. there are moments that i want to remember forever. and there are ways in which i’ve felt that i never want to feel again, and sometimes the best way to do that is to reflect. and write. i don’t know.

i am just struggling. with my body. with my image. i don’t know what it is. i am in love - i am loved. and i don’t hate who i am necessarily, but i just get so frustrated with my body and appearance.

a little over a year ago, i was about 10lbs lighter than i am now. and the year before that i was 10 lbs heavier than i am now. when i was lighter, i didn’t even know how much i weighed. and i didn’t know how much weight i had lost until i came home and could see it on people’s faces. they kept complimenting me. making jokes about how now that i am home, i will gain it back. and i did. plus some. i don’t know if it would have made me happy to know that i was at that certain weight, but now that i know how “good” i looked, i am fixated on becoming that size again.

but even at that size, i wasn’t happy. that’s what’s so twisted. i fixated. i nitpicked. i stared at myself. i saw flaws in all who i was. but now i long to be her again.

how is it possible?