city blood

What most people don't understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That's why they're always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there's possibly some connection between aliens and golf. - Alice Cooper Ash Kirkman is 27 years old and sick of everyone's shit. They/them pronouns.

[contac]

[ashkirkman]

@savwilliams: Has anyone listened to Lily Allen lately? She was the queen of my 2006.

↪ @captkirkman: did you ever listen to that sheezus album or whatever it was called? it's banger city...

[televisionfilm]

[janellepierzina]

Summer Moodboard

[ashkirkman]

im too lazy to delete my old threads on this new blog im so srry 

[ashkirkman]

xsmashtheashx:

“No, no she was around 4 and the most adorable curly haired doll i’ve ever seen.” ashton smiled wide at the thought. “i really am lucky with my job sometimes.” he hummed taking a sip of his tea.

“That’s so sweet. I’m not a huge fan of the idea of having kids, but I love them. I’d make a great... ‘auncle’? Is there a gender neutral term for an aunt/uncle?”

[ashkirkman]

ofpaytons:

payton tried to keep a straight face as they acted crazy in the store. he pulled a face of disapproval before busting out laughing. he caught an employee giving them a dirty look. “that was so entertaining.” he told them with a laugh.

“Good, I’m glad,” Ash replied with a smile, “ok now it’s your turn. Go!” They playfully shoved Payton into the middle of the aisle. The song had switched to Britney’s classic “Toxic” so there’s no way they weren’t forcing Payton to dance. Or try to force, anyway.

[ashkirkman]

rmaynards:

“I like them all, that’s the thing. I was thinking maybe something on my chest, but I like my tattoos to be showing. I don’t think anyone would appreciate me with my top off twenty four, seven.”

“Face tattoos seem to be making a comeback... You okay with possibly losing your job and being shunned by the general public?” They laughed, but continued, “It sucks everyone’s an asshole; I actually kinda like some face tattoos.” 

“And old white ladies tattoo their makeup on, why is it suddenly shameful if someone gets a picture or words instead?” Ash sighed.

[ashkirkman]

“Yeah, this song is great! DESPACITO QUIERO RESPIRAR TU CUELLO! DESPACITO!” they screamed, dancing around the store. They might’ve been a little buzzed, but the main reason they were making a fool of themself was to embarrass their shopping partner. After another second, they broke into laughter and had to stop. Between shaky breaths and more laughter, Ash said, “How’d you like that?”

[ashkirkman]

TEXT ––– @open

Mariana: Hola!!! I just sent you an email with all the party information: theme, budget, etc.

Mariana: Please, email me back with some feedback. Love, M.

ash: I was wondering if I could ask you some questions over text?

ash: it's easier, if you've got the time.

[ashkirkman]

rmaynards:

“I kind of want another tattoo, but to be honest, I’m running out of room.”

“Just cover one you don’t like with something new,” they shrugged.

[ashkirkman]

xsmashtheashx:

“this little girl brought her cat in for an operation then handed me her dog plushie because he had an ‘ouchie’ on his leg. i just couldn’t say no to that”

“That’s adorable. How old was she? Anything over eight is gonna make it a bit weird,” they laughed before sipping on their 32oz fountain drink. Ash chugged away, but was slightly disappointed that they had to settle for Sierra Mist because the lemonade was out.

[ashkirkman]

lclastacey:

“I’m just a Rick Sanchez trying to be a Morty Smith.”

“....That’s the biggest downgrade I’ve ever heard in my life, why do you want that?”

[ashkirkman]

¡ ✯

¡ Pet Peeves

“I hate when people don’t allow there to be any silence. Sometimes, most of the time, really, I need to have some space–just for a little bit. I also hate loud chewers. Or people who value conformity. Oh, and I hate when people don’t have an imagination. That’s annoying.”

✯ Perfect day

“Me playing video games in my underwear with my significant other. Clearly, this day isn’t happening anytime soon, since I’m hella single, but it’s nice to dream.”

[ashkirkman]

🍕

🍕 - Do they like pineapple on their pizza?

“Pineapple is a fruit. Fruits don’t go on pizza. I will fight anyone who says otherwise.”

[ashkirkman]

☂

☂ Preferred weather

“I like the rain. Grey overcast sky, maybe around 70 degrees, with a cool breeze. That sounds perfect to me.”

[oopsiewoopsie123]

Send a symbol for headcanons on my muse's eating habits!

🍎- What’s their favorite fruit? 🍞- Do they get healthy, whole grain style foods? 🥔 - How do they prefer potatoes? 🥕- Do they like vegetables? 🍇 - Have they ever drank an alcoholic beverage? 🍒 - What’s their favorite smoothie flavor? 🍗 - Are they a vegetarian or vegan? 🍟 - Do they like fast food? If so, what’s their favorite type? 🍕 - Do they like pineapple on their pizza? 🥞 - What’s their favorite breakfast? 🌮 - Do they like spicy foods? 🍦 - What toppings do they like on their ice-cream, if any? 🍫 - Chocolate or vanilla? 🍰 - Cake or pie? 🍬- What’s their favorite candy? 🍩 - Do they often have a sweet tooth? 🍪- What’s their favorite type of cookie?